


Earthquakes and Consequences

by DTVR12



Category: Melendaire - Fandom, The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluffy, Gen, Melendaire, Melendaire Monday, The Good Doctor - Freeform, couple power, domestic life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:55:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 53
Words: 117,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24006211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DTVR12/pseuds/DTVR12
Summary: Pre and post season 3 finale. What really happened when the earthquake strikes San Jose? Does Dr. Melendez make it out all right? Melendaire all the way and maybe more. Enjoy!
Relationships: Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 173
Kudos: 157





	1. What happened?

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for the medical inconstencies, I'm not very familiar with this area.
> 
> Thanks a lot for all your comments ! It really means a lot :)   
> The story is far from over as I still have ideas. Check for new chapters soon !

Chapter 1 – What happened ?

Outside, everything was fizzy, loud. Neil couldn’t open his eyes. He was so dizzy, so numb. What had just happened? He couldn’t tell. Just a few minutes away, he was drinking red wine with Lea and Dr. Glassman. And now he was lying on the floor. Oh damn! He was so cold. He didn’t manage to move. His legs were like paralyzed.

Then everything came back into his mind. The charity event, the earthquake, the building falling down. And him in the middle of everything. Around him, there were a lot of wounded people. He heard screams, cries, people asking for help. He knew he had to get up and go help these people. He was a doctor, a surgeon after all! He has to do something. He couldn’t let all these people suffer. As he tried to get on his feet, he slipped on the ground and his head hit the ground.

From that moment, he felt way better. This little knock on his head must have put everything in place. He was ready to help any person who was suffering. He started checking a woman with an head injury , then a man with what is supposed to be a fracture. Time fled when he was doing his job . He spearated people with light injuries from people with hard ones. He explained to people in good health how to help those who were in need. So he could focus on the people who were less lucky. 

As he navigated the room, he recognized Marta he operated on years earlier. She was with Noreen, her wife beam. Only her head was safe from the weight of the wood.

“Hi Marta, hope you have fun”. Marta and Noreen calmed down right away. He liked to have this peaceful power over people. He focused on the wound as soon as both women were reassured and started analyzing the way he could save Marta. The task was not easy. She was trapped from the neck to the toes. Hard to know where to start. She must have at least have multiple fractures in her legs and arms. The spinal column could have been touched. Worst of all, her organs could have been compromised. He was drowning into all his supositions when he heard her voice.

“Dr. Melendez are you OK?”

She was there in front of him in her blue uniform, her helmet on the head. 

“Let me see.. Are you dizzy? […] Let me see […] How much that hurt […] You’re gonna use a full evaluation” She didn’t stop talking. He could see she was anxious, worried. He tried to reassure her but she was so focused on examining him she put the lights in his eyes and checked his abdomen where he had a bruise. He told her about Marta but nothing could divert her from her ideas. She needed to check on him. And to be fair, Neil found this attitude nothing but cute. She was always like that and that was what made her who she was.  
Eventually, he managed to lead her to Marta. She was under this huge beam. He explained to her his first conclusions. She listens to him carefully. It was a complicated medical case and each of them needed to be focused to fully understand the facts and act in the best way for the patient. Marta could end up paralyzed. That was when Claire proposed to remove the screw right away .A very ambitious idea but Marta had nothing to lose. Neil could only agree with this idea even if Noreen was not in the same mood. Marta approves even if she was scared. But it could be worse if they didn’t do something right now. 

They went to the EMT to get all the useful materials. Tension was there. Especially when Noreen came to convince not to do the surgery. But both of them could feel it but they had to be calm and focused. Marta needed their help. 

The talk between Noreen and Marta was deep, intense. At that moment, Neil felt like he was not where he was supposed to be. He didn’t want to interfere in this so personal moment. Hit wouldn’t be faire because these two women really loved each other. Like true love. He prevented him from looking at Claire at that moment. He knew he shouldn’t feel like that when he was around her. He was his superior? She was his resident? And this kind of feelings were not allowed at Bonaventure. 

He’d rather focus on the surgery. At least he knew all the moves to do, Claire by his side. Like in the OR. Except they were not and Marta was bleeding more and more. For one second, he panicked until he saw Claire took the clamp and stop the bleeding. God, he loved when she was being such a badass doctor. But the problem remained the same. Marta was bleeding too much and if they didn’t stop it, she won’t survive the surgery. That was when he saw Claire got up and left their makeshift OR. 

Where was she? What was she doing? A few minutes later, he showed her back with a beer pump. She made me place thin pipes into Marta. I looked at her. She was in her element. “We’re going pump her own blood into her” . 

At that moment, I was so proud of her. The young resident from three years ago was not here anymore. In front of me was the Dr. Claire Browne. No matter the fact she still had six months of residency before being graduated, she already was a doctor, she had it in her heart, her soul, her blood. She was extraordinary and….

“Spend enough time around Dr. Browne, you’ll get used to incredible”

He glanced at her quickly. He would have like to look longer but he couldn’t. He had to fix Marta’s neck. He could look at her later. Or not. It was not appropriate for a surgeon to look at her resident that way. But he couldn’t stop. When he was around her, he was a better surgeon… A better person. 

Marta was doing well when she was evacuated by the paramedics. Another success for Doctor Melendez! But his real prize was the smile on Noreen and Marta’s faces when Marta was able to squeeze the hand of her wife. They were so in love and he was touched by their love. 

This moment of bliss came to an end when the aftershock struck. It was time to take Marta away. She needed to be safe in the hospital. She couldn’t stay here…. All of a sudden, Neil felt his oesophagus hurt and he threw up. All his abdomen was hurting, it felt like he was burning from the inside. “Are you alright?” was the only thing he heard before reaching the ground. The beautiful and melodic voice of Claire Browne. A sweet way of leaving this world…


	2. Chapter 2 - Always forwards

Chapter 2 : Always forwards

When Claire felt the earthquake, she knew this day won't be as she pictured it. She was at Bonaventure in a patient room when she understood it was gonna be a very long day. But she liked being in à hurry and took carz of as many patients she could. She loved being à doctor and today was one of these Days when being a doctor was very important.

Lim called them in in the lobby to make a point, she knew the day was gonna be harder than she had imagine. She explained there was a lot of victims, that the hospital was gonna be oberwhelmed but everything Will be alright.  
And then she asked me and Park to come with her to the charity event...

"Dr. Melendez and Dr. Glassman were there..." 

Audrey nodded and then left the lobby. Claire didn't think and follow the chief of surgery. She needed to be in the action, she refused to worry about Neil. He wa fine for sure. He couldn't be otherwise. She prepared her bag with all she needed to help the victims there and joined Park and Lim in the helicopter on the roof.

While the helicopter led them to the charity event, no one could ever tell a word. Each of them was worried. Some of their colleagues were in there... Claire and Lim's looks met several times. Each one of them could read the anxiety on them.... Anxiety for Glassman but most of all for Melendez. Each of them had an history with him...

As soon as they landed, Audrey took the lead. She told Park to go to see the firefighters. Claire had to check on the EMT paramedics to know the number of identified victims. Everything was messy around. A lot of people were sit on the ground waiting to be healed. That must have been the ones with the slightest injuries. And still no trace of Neil. 

Where was he ? Was he hurt ? Was he dead ? Claire prefered not to think about this. She needed to stay focused on her first mission : fixing people.

"Hey you ! I need hands to help me inside. I've People who need a doctor. You're a doctor, right ?"

Claire nodded. Here she went. It was time for her to do what she did the best: healing people.

As she entered the Ball room where the charity event was taking place, she understood the huge work she 'll have to do. She reassured an old couple who was just shaking, she helped to free a teenage stuck under a shelf, she fixed her forehead which was bleeding. Then she stabilized a double fracture and cleaned a wound.

She was focused on her job, and as she moved across the room, she saw him. He was lying on the floor, motionless. As soon as she saw him, she was paralyzed. One of her biggest fears was in front of her eyes. The man she loved was there and he was not moving. What does she do? A lot of people were hurting around her but she could think about was Neil. 

She rushed by his side. She couldn’t fight her inner feelings. Her heart was racing and he was all she could think about. As she knelt near him, she checked for her pulse. It was weak but there. First sigh relief. He was alive, in a pretty bad shape but alive. She had to fix it. But where could she begin with? His right leg seemed to be broken, his left hand was swollen and his head seemed to have hit the floor. 

The worst part was when she removed his shirt to examine his abdomen. Claire tried to remain professional but the man she loved was right here and she couldn’t help but crying. She focused on the abdomen and made the first conclusions. Neil was bleeding from the inside. The spleen or the liver must have been ruptured when he was hit by something when the earthquake struck. He needed to be bring to the hospital as soon as possible. His life depended on it. 

Claire gathered all her courage and came to find some paramedics to help her to get him out of there. As the paramedics were putting Melendez on the stretcher, she called Dr. Lim with her talkie to tell her about Melendez. She could hear she was as worried as she was. But she was the doctor in charge and couldn’t come to help her because she had to take care of a teenage boy stuck under a beam with Park. 

Claire promised to Lim she will take care of him and kept her posted as soon as she will get news about him. As soon as Melendez was on the stretcher, Claire became the doctor in charge. She asked to the paramedics to bring her and the patient the most quickly possible to Bonaventure hospital. In the EMT, she took place right next to Neil to check on his vitals. His heart was still racing low. They’d better arrive to the hospital quickly. 

“How till we get the hospital?”

“5 minutes max”

Claire knew five minutes was too long. Neil was not gonna make it and she couldn’t accept he died under her watch, not like that, not without her telling him how she felt. She was ready to jump over him at any moment. And the moment happened. As they were only one minute from Bonaventure hospital, Neil’s heart stopped. As she saw the flatline on the screen, Claire jumped from her seat and started a cardiac massage. She yelled at the two paramedics to hurry because the patient was crashing. 

When they finally arrived at the hospital, she was sitting on Neil to maintain him alive. Dr. Andrews was the one who was there where she entered the hospital in that position. He could see the tears in her eyes but told nothing about it. “What happened? “

“Neil… Dr. Melendez was at the charity ball when the earthquake struck. I found him unconscious and unresponsive on the floor as I was inspected the place. I checked on his vitals and his heart beat was very weak. I stabilized her right leg, his left hand and his head with a neck collar. I checked his abdomen and I suspect an internal bleeding coming either from the spleen, or the liver. And while we were in the EMT, his heart stopped.”

As she said her last sentence, her voice broke. “Don’t worry, Dr. Browne,. You’re doing well.”

As they reached the ER, Dr.Andrews used the AED to shock Neil. Claire stayed next to him, she was here and far away in the same time. She woke up from her torpor just a few minutes later. 

“He’s good, Dr. Browne. We ‘re taking him into radiology to look for the bleeding. Would you like to assist me ?”

Claire nodded. No way she went out there. She needed to help him, she was there when it happened, she was the one who found him and now she will be the one to save him. No matter the cost!


	3. Chapter 3 : Where am I?

Chapter 3 : Where am I 

When Neil woke up he was not in the ball room anymore. He was lying in a stretcher in an EMT, Claire by her side. As always. As he liked. I tried to wake up but Claire prevented me to do so. He wanted to go back to work, I had to! He wanted to save people, to be useful. But she was uncompromising. He needed to stay calm because I had vomited and passed out. 

“The doctor without the head injury makes the call”

He liked when she was directive. She looked even nicer than she used to be. Neil smiled, listened to her and remained calm till they arrived to the hospital. He knew Claire wouldn’t let him do the least move. I told her I was OK, that my bruise on my abdomen was only a shock I got at the gym but she was standing in her ground. She told me to remain quiet and to listen to her because she was the doctor here and she didn’t want to hear another word because “doctors make the worst patient”. 

He smiled. It was the exact he said to her when she confessed me she was seeing a therapist to help her through her mother’s grief. She was a good student and she kept in mind absolutely all she could read or hear. She for sure was one of a kind.   
She led him to the CT room to check on his head. She was sure he had a head injury. He made it laugh. She could be so stubborn when she had an idea in mind. 

“Machine‘s already passed the point when we should have seen any damage. You haven’t seen anything. Means you either try to figuring out how I’m going to die or trying to figuring out how to apologize for wasting my time”. 

He loved to tease, to challenge her. He could see her rolling her eyes. He loved when she did that. He enjoyed annoying her because she always answered. It was their little game, their moments. But then, she seemed worried. She told me I didn’t use the good word. What was the matter? Today had been a rough day, there had been an earthquake. 

“I’ve seen you on a lot of rough days. But not once, I’ve seen you confused”. 

She took his shirt, she looked concerned and he didn’t like seeing this on a face…. He had more bruises on his abdomen.   
“You’re bleeding internally”. 

It was the last word he heard before she left the room. He was sure everything was alright. He couldn’t be sick. He was a doctor! But here he was. And it was not pretty. 

Hours passed and they took him to surgery. He couldn’t really remember where he had been or what they .they did to him. All was blurry, full of lights, noisy. He recovered hours later. He was in a hospital bed in Bonaventure. He recognized this hospital by heart. He had been working here for almost 10 years now. But why was he in a bed? Why was he connected to a machine?

Many questions rushed in his head. And no one to talk to. He was alone and the bips of the machine got on his nerves. Finally, Audrey and Claire came into the room. They were defeated. Claire’s eyes were swollen as if she had cried. 

“The bleed was not from the pancreas, it was from the SMA. We found additional injuries all along the celiac trunk”

Audrey’s words hit him right in the heart. He saw she was still speaking but he was in another world. “How’s my lactate?” was the only word he could tell. 

Audrey hesitated before saying “4”. It was bad, really bad. It should not have been so high. 

“We’re going to retest your lactate and sure it’ll go down.” It couldn’t say if it was Claire or Audrey who told him that. He was already far away in his memories. If lactate wnet up, it would mean the schemic was progressing and there would be more bacterial liquid which meant sceptic shock…

It took him hours to come in peace with himself. He didn’t want to die. He was too young. He had a lot of things to live. He had a lot of things to say... Things he was hiding for so long now. Things he should have told because now it was probably too late and he could never be able to enjoy… 

When he woke up, she was there. She was sitting on the chair and she was waiting. He loved looking at her when she didn’t pay attention to. As soon as she saw me awake, she smiled. He did the same. She was beautiful despite being broken. He was too. He could never spend time with her running, bowling, going to restaurants… And he was hurting just to think about that. And that was at that moment, that he knew he had to confess, to tell him about him. Because she was the only one he wanted to know about. 

“I’m not afraid of dying. I was raised a good Catholic. Altar boy. First communion. Faithfully wanted my crucifix that gave my confirmation. I was a true believer. Then I went to college. And maybe it’s just now than I’m yearning into a learning void…. Imaging my bet but it’s coming back to me. I can hold friend with one message…

She looked at him. Her eyes were full of tears. “I want you to know that I..”

He cut her. He didn’t want to know what she was about to say. Even if he knew… Because he was feeling the same way for at least three years now. But it wouldn’t be fair to do that to her. He didn’t want to give her something they couldn’t share because he was dying. 

“Don’t… you should go… There’s still a crisis going on…. Goodbye Claire.”

“Goodbye”. 

They both remained frozen for a moment. No one wanted to move, no one wanted to leave each other’s looks. She was crying. He was too. Why life had to be so cruel. When they finally found each other, they were taken apart once again. 

He remained alone in the room for hours. Alone face to his future and he didn’t like it. He didn’t want to leave all these people he loved so much. Glassman came to say goodbye. It was brief. No one wanted to be there. Then Audrey came. It was important to him to tell her goodbye. Even if they had broken off, she was still a good friend of his. They had known since college. They had shared moment together, good as bad, and she knew him really well. She was the one he wanted to tell about Claire when he understood about his feelings. But it would have been too complicated. She was his ex and his superior. But he would have loved to tell her.. even if he knew that deep down she already knew about his feelings.

“I could spend a lifetime drinking whiskey with you.”

It was hard for both of them but she had to leave because the hospital was in crisis. And once again, he was alone in this room he used to go to treat patients. How could that have happened? He was a brilliant surgeon, he should have known.. He didn’t even listen to Claire who asked him to do a complete check-up earlier. If he had listened to her, he won’t be in this, he won’t be dying. He won’t let her alone…

She was when she came back in the room. 

“I got you something”

She gave him a rosary. She gave him the only thing he needed in this mess, the only thing that mattered. She was always right. And he was gonna lose her and he made him crazy. 

After hours, she finally opened her mouth. They had stayed in the same room, close to each other since the middle of the afternoon just looking. Sometimes, people said that a look was just enough and it was the case with Claire. She came to sit next to him. They both needed to be this close. It was important, it was essential. They didn’t even know if they could touch each other. Was it appropriate? 

“You saved me”

“No… I was just in the right place at the right time. That was all you. You’re gonna be OK, Claire”

She nodded. He saved her and no she was not gonna be ok. The man she loved was dying in front of her and she couldn’t do nothing. It was unfair, it was not right. It was the way it was supposed to be. 

“There is something I need to tell you.”

“Me too. I go first… You are a terrible bowler. Maybe the worst I’ve ever seen”. 

She laughed. Oh God, how he liked this sound. 

“And I wanted to tell you that I hate your tattoo. Way too much antler…”

This time he laughed with her. It was good to feel this little idiotic happiness. 

“And I love you”

“I love you too”. 

That was finally the moment. They both loved each other. And they knew. Even if it was late, even if they could not have a lot of time together, they shared their feelings and it was all that mattered. 

Claire laid her head on his chest and for the first he allowed himself to hold her hand, her arm and stroked her hair. She took his hand and merged her fingers with his. She was beautiful. He was handsome and they were at this moment the most powerful couple in the world. 

They stayed like that forever . In love. Alone. Forever. 

All of a sudden, everything was so blurry in his mind. He was dying…


	4. Chapter  4 – A long night

Chapter 4 – A long night

Before joining Andrews in radiology, Claire went out of the ER for a few minutes. She needed to clear her mind. What she had just lived was crazy! Neil had almost died and she was the one who resuscitated him. It was huge and it was scary at the same time. Claire really needed to find a place to hide, to let her feelings go out, to break for just a moment before she joined her chief in radiology. 

She sat on the emergency stairs, away from the entrance door. And she cried, she cried a lot. She was afraid. The man she loved was close to death and she couldn’t lose another person again. She won’t get through it. Not this time. Not after all the loss she went through this year. Neil was the person who saved her, who prevented her from falling, from crashing. And she wanted to be the one who’s gonna save him. She had to. 

“What are you crying?”

She looked up. It was Shaun. “Oh… That’s just …um… I had a rough day and It’s not over yet..; I just need to cry to make me feel better…”

Shaun looked at her puzzled. “That’s really weird. You cry when you are sad, not to get better. “

She got up. Shaun in his own special way, tried to comfort her. “Thanks for being here, Shaun. You’re a good friend”. She pressed his shoulder. He let her do it. She was one of the only people in the world who could do that. 

She joined Andrews in radiology. Her eyes had dried. She didn’t want to show him she had cried. She had to remain professional. Neil was lying on the table unconscious but alive. Andrews was sitting in the cabin where he monitored all the scans he was doing. 

“His right leg is broken like his left hand. He has a commotion. But what I fear the most is his abdomen. He’s bleeding internally… But I can’t find where all this blood is coming from…”   
Claire looked at the scans. She had to find the solution, she had to fix him, she had to know why he was so bad. 

“Dr. Browne, are you listening to me?”

“Sorry, Dr. Andrews. I was looking at the MRI… Did you see this point just above the pancreas?”

He looked at her and came closer to the screen. 

“What an eye, Dr. Browne. I think you have found the origin of the bleeding. Prepare to scrub in, we’re going to surgery right now.”

She ran to the prep room and changed in less than two minutes. Before Andrews was in the room, she was already checking Neil’s vitals with the nurses. She was determined to fix him as he had fixed her after her mother and Kayla died. At this moment, Andrews came in and nodded at her. It was time. Time to save Neil. 

The surgery lasted hours. There were complications, a lot of complications. His heart raced, almost stopped many times. But he held on. The bleeding was worse than they expected. The liver and the kidney were also touched. But neither Andrews, neither Claire could stop. It was not fair, not right for the patient. Even more when the patient was one of their friends and colleagues. The first thing she learnt when she entered medical school was “you never give up a patient, even if it seems desperate”. She could hear her biology teacher in her ears right now. This same teacher who had told her she could be anything she wanted, she had just to believe in herself. That was when it hit her: 

“And what if the kidney was not hurt ? What if it was only a bad scratch? “

Andrews looked at her puzzled. A simple scratch, it seemed so easy…. So easy they didn’t even think about it. At this moment, he chose to believe her because it was bad, really bad. He found out that the liver had just been cut by a broken rib they had not seen before. He looked at her and nodded. 

“Well done, Dr. Browne. One problem is solved. Now let’s take care of the others!”

She nodded. It was the first step to save Neil. Many were still to do. But it was something, something encouraging. 

Dr. Lim joined them later. She had finished all her surgeries of the day. She helped to stitch all the damage in the abdomen. Five hours after he entered the OR, Neil Melendez was taken into the recovery room. Claire removed her cap. She was sweating. Audrey came by her. 

“You should get a drink sometimes..”

“With pleasure.”

Andrews joined them. He was exhausted too. “Now go home and sleep, Browne, that’s an order!”

She was awake for more 36 hours. But she couldn’t sleep, she couldn’t sleep…

She remained alone in the locker room for a moment. She needed this moment by herself, to think, to breathe, to understand what had just happened. When she got out of the room, she was like a robot and directly went to Neil’s room. As she entered, she saw him. She felt sad, angry, and uncomfortable. It was not pretty. He was connected to many machines. He couldn’t breathe on his own. He was intubated. Cannula were all over his body. A big Band Aid was covered his abdomen and all she could hear was the beeps of the heart checking machine. And it reminded her that his heart was still beating and it was all that mattered.

She came closer and dared to put her hand on his. She didn’t know if he could feel it. She was not a true believer. She should have been to church maybe twice in her life. But right now, she needed to hang to something, she needed hope and support. He saved her and she couldn’t lose him. She pressed his hand as to send him a message. She whispered in her ear, she couldn’t cry, she had to be strong for both of them. She had to be the one who will save him now. She had to be his rock. 

She remained here for hours. Nothing changed but she wanted to be there in case anything happened. She fell asleep for a moment. The hospital was so calm. Almost all the nurses were working in the ER to heal the victims of the earthquake, the doctor were there too. Only one of them remained at each floor to take care of the patients. 

While she was dreaming, she heard a noise. She couldn’t take care of it at first. But as it was becoming much stronger, she opened her eyes. Neil was on cardiac arrest! 

She jumped from the chair. “Code blue, code blue” 

But no one answer. She was alone. The nurse was not there or at least not in the area at the moment. She was on her own. She had to do it by herself. She started compressions. Not matter how long she had to do it, she won’t let him down. She did compressions for long minutes when she finally heard a noise. The nurse was back. 

“Hey I’m here! Could I have some help, please, he’s crashing!!!”

Before she could think, Nurse Petringa ran to the EDA and brought it in the room. Claire stopped the compressions and connected Neil to the device. As it was loading, she started compressions again. Her arms ached, her hands were red as hell but she kept doing it. The nurse gave her the go to use the EDA. As she pressed the button, she was scared. What if he didn’t respond? What if she didn’t manage to save him? What if… Nurse Petringa pressed her shoulder. 

“He’s gonna be OK.. Look his heart, it’s beating again…. Take some rest, Dr. Browne, you really need it…. What you have just done, it was awesome…. You made compressions for more than 10 minutes and never stopped….”

She left the room. Claire remained once again alone, lost. Did she really make compressions for so long? She could not even remember. All that mattered was Neil’s life. She was like in a dream when it had happened. And now she was so tired, she needed to sleep. But she didn’t want to go away, leave this room, to let him alone, to be away from him. Her body refused to spend another minute away from Neil Melendez. 

She sat on the edge of Neil’s bed and lay on him. Her ear was against his chest and she could hear his heart beating. It was peaceful. It eased her pain. She grabbed his arm in her hand and squeezed it just for him to know he was not alone in all this. She was standing by his side. And then she felt deeply asleep…


	5. Chapter 5 – Welcome back

Chapter 5 – Welcome back

As he woke up, he felt a weigh on his abdomen. So paradise was like that? He thought he would feel lighter. And his head was so heavy… If paradise was like this, he won’t have signed so easily. As he opened his eyes, he recognized Bonaventure corridors. He would never have imagined his paradise looked like the place he used to work. 

That was funny and completely consistent when you thought about it. It was the place he spent most of his time when he was alive, the place he loved to be, the place where he met the most important people in his life. It was so logical after all. 

He looked around him and saw all the machines. He was intubated… He had a big Band Aid on his chest… And All these cannula coming in and out of his body were keeping him alive!?! Afterlife was really strange! 

And he always felt this weight on his chest… He couldn’t explain why he felt like this? That was when he looked down. That was when he saw the weigh on his chest was Claire’s head. She was deeply asleep. And he understood he might not be dead. 

How could he be possible? He reminded this moment when he was almost gone. The image of the light at the end of the tunnel was true. He saw it but he was still here? All these moments he had lived were only in his imagination? What about the talking with Audrey about whiskey? And what about all these moments with Claire and the moments they both said “I love you”? He was confused. What had really happened since the earthquake? 

Claire moved and opened her eyes. It took her a few seconds to understand Neil was awake. 

“You’re awake! “ She smiled. Tears were running from her eyes. She was so glad he was back. She looked at him for a while… “Oh sorry… I forgot you are intubated! Do not move I’m taking care of that right now!!! Do not move.”

She got out of the room and got the materials she needed to extubate Neil. She was back only a few minutes after with Nurse Petringa. 

“Welcome among us, Dr. Melendez. Glad to see you’re doing better.” She pressed Claire’s shoulder and smiled at her. “I told you he was gonna be better. You can breathe by now.“ Claire smiled at her back. Nurse Petringa had been her strongest support since all that shit had started. Claire extubated Neil and remembered him not to talk too soon or his vocal cords could be damaged. He smiled at her and nodded. 

As the day passed, Lim, Andrews and Glassman came to see Melendez to be sure he was alright. The residents came one by one to tell him to take care of him. Even Shaun who tried to tell him he was happy in his own way: “You look a little less yellow than yesterday”. 

Even if he couldn’t talk too much, he was glad to see that all his colleagues, his residents and of course Claire. He gave him the impression to be alive again. 

Claire came back after work. He told her to go home but she refused. She was scared he went into cardiac arrest again. He could see that in her eyes. He knew her well by now. They had spent a lot of time together for a few months. No one could tell why but they could speak for hours and never get rid of the other. Claire told him a lot about her complicated relationship with her mother, he told him about his childhood in Tampa. When his family life was happy again… He didn’t want to tell her about his problems with his parents or about his sister’s disability. Life was already too hard on Claire. She deserved a good listener and some happy stories. 

She stayed for the night and fell asleep on the chair. Nurses came and asked her if she needed something but all she could do was mumbling in her sleep. 

“Just bring her a blanket, I doubt she’s going anywhere” 

Nurse Petringa laughed. “I have no doubt about that. She’s at your bedside since day one. She made you compressions for 10 minutes because she was alone in the service and couldn’t reach the EDA when you went in cardiac arrest. Not a lot of people in the world would do that…”

He gave her a faint smile. “I do know she’s special…”

Nurse Petringa went out of the room for a few minutes and came back with a blanket and a pillow. “That was all I can find. It’ll be enough for tonight.” She covered Claire and asked another nurse to help her to push the chair next to Neil’s bed. “I’m sure this is where she wants to be.”. She winked at Neil and went out of the room. 

From here, he could hear her breath. She was deeply asleep, she needed to rest. She was exhausted. He looked at her for a while before he fell asleep. Having her next to him made him feel calmer. Of course, he was scared of what might be coming next but being with Claire made him dread a little less this uncertain future. 

When he woke up, she was gone. And suddenly, the room felt empty. Fortunately, all the nurses and the doctors who came all day taking care of him took him a lot of his time and energy. He didn’t like to be the patient but as things were going, it was there for a very long time…

When Claire left Neil’s room, he was deeply asleep. She knew she had to go to her apartment one day. Her body ached. She was all sore. But it was unthinkable she let Neil alone. Just in case. Just to be sure he was OK. 

She went to the locker room to change. She really had to go home. She needed other clothes. Maybe she could go after shift and then come back. She was sure the nurses will tell nothing. They already knew she was a close friend of Dr. Melendez. 

She started her day with a meeting with Dr. Andrews. As Dr. Melendez was not an attending at the moment, he offered to mentor Shaun, Park and Claire. Morgan was no longer in the program because of her hands. Claire looked sadly at the chair next her. Morgan could be annoying sometimes but she was her friend and she missed her. She could take some time to go and see her. She was hospitalized at the second floor. 

Time to focus by now. Andrews asked them to work on the case of Barry Jenkins, a 58-year-old man suffering from violent leg aches for months. He went to see dozens and dozens of doctors and no one could explain to him why he was unable to get out of his bed for the last 6 months. 

“Interesting case” Park was enthusiastic. “Did someone check on his spinal column? Did he do an RMI of his pelvis?” Shaun asked. He was already picturing Barry’s whole body in his mind to know where to operate on. He always impressed Claire when he was doing that. He left the room. He was on something and needed to check on Barry to confirm one of the numerous theories he had in mind. 

“Are you alright, Dr. Browne?” 

“Yeah, a little tired that’s all. Thanks for asking, Dr. Andrews. If you excuse me…”

Claire took her computer and went to hide in Melendez’s office. It was the place she preferred. It was here that she understood she could make a difference, she could one day be a good surgeon. This was the place she learnt to fight for her opinion, to fight for her patients, to impose her ideas. 

She took Mr. Jenkins’ file and read it from the beginning. How could this man be suffering so much for 6 months and no one found where the pain came from. She read the file at least 5 times. Something was wrong. Only his right leg was truly aching. It couldn’t be the spinal column. She looked for a pelvis disequilibrium. It could explain the feelings of dizziness and the ache in his leg. If the pelvis was broken or crushed, it could affect the legs. But in both cases, the RMI proved she was wrong. She borrowed books from Neil’s library. He probably won’t be glad she did but he was in his room and couldn’t see it. She checked three of them and finally found something interesting. She needed to tell Andrews. That was when she saw it was already 2 AM. It was not today she was gonna go to her apartment to get new clothes…. 

She did what she thought was the best for her. She went to Neil’s room and sat in the chair next to him. It was so good to hear his breath next to her ear. Before she could think of anything else, she fall asleep, her head on the bed, next to him…

She was woken up hours later by a loud noise. Neil was having troubles breathing. 

“Neil, Neil are you ok?”

“My abdomen, it hurts. I feel like someone stabbed me right here.” 

He showed her his liver. Something was wrong. 

“Page Dr. Andrews right now. Dr. Melendez needs to go back to surgery!”

Andrews was in the room only a few minutes later. “Neil, I’m afraid, you need to go back to surgery. Your liver seems damaged.”

Claire followed the bed. “Browne, you stay here. You’re exhausted. Go home and come back in a few hours.”

“But I’m on shift today. “

“So I’m unshift you at least for a few hours. Take some times for you. You have worked non-stop since the earthquake, you need to rest… and clear your mind you’re too invested in that case”

“But… I want … And I’ve found something on Mr. Jenkins…”

Before she could end her sentence, she saw Andrews brought Neil to the OR…. She was alone in the lobby. It was the first time she was not with him since she had found him unconscious in the charity room after the earthquake…. And she felt empty…


	6. Chapter 6 : New world

Chapter 6 – New world 

When she came back to the hospital, she couldn’t find Andrews. She had rested for a few hours at home. She changed, took a shower, made a bag to have some new clothes in her locker in case she stayed some nights here. And she came back to Bonaventure exactly 4 hours after she had left the same place. 

Neil was always in the OR. It was written on the board. And she didn’t like that. Why took so long? There must have been complications for sure. And she was not there to help. She felt guilty to have been at her apartment, to have slept, to have taken some time for her… She should have been with him, she should have helped…

“Claire, you’re already back?” Lim seemed surprised to see her already back at Bonaventure. 

“Oh Dr. Lim… yeah, I slept a little and changed. It feels good. Like I’m new again. If you excuse me, I have something to do before I start my shift…”

She let Audrey in the lobby and went to the staircase. She didn’t know what to do. She just lied to Dr. Lim because she didt=n’t want her to see she was worried. Even if she suspected she already knew she was feeling that way… She sat on the stairs and stayed there for a while. 

It was good to be here, she was in a safe place. And she needed that because right now she was confused, scared and lost. When she was slapped by the wife of his former lover, that was the place she chose to hide and it worked. No one except Neil had found her at the time. And this time Neil was in the OR. So there was no way she was being discovered...

When her shift started, she was in the locker room. Park and Shaun were changing too. Both were sharing their theories about Mr. Jenkins’ case and they were sure they got the right diagnosis. But Claire remained silent. 

“You don’t like to talk too much these times”. Shaun noticed. “You have no theory at all for Mr. Jenkins because I have a lot I want to share with you but not now because we are not in Andrews’ office.”

And then he left. As always, Shaun was in his own world. And he was excited about his ideas. She loved seeing him like that. It meant he was happy in his own way. 

“Are you sure you are OK?” Park seemed worried about her. 

“Yeah.. Just tired. Didn’t sleep well for almost a week.”

“And you’re worried about Melendez, don’t you?”

She didn’t answer. But she knew Park got it. He was a nice, smart guy who knew to remain silent when a situation required it. He left the locker room. She stayed alone. She was used to it anyway… 

As she was on her way to Melendez’s office to get the files she let there last night, she saw Andrews coming her way. 

“Dr. Browne, I was looking for you. Can I talk to you for a few minutes?”

She followed him in his office. 

“Dr. Melendez just got out of the recovery room. He’s OK”. She breathed a huge sigh of relief. “He’s still in critical conditions but each hour brings its amount of hope. I’m pretty confident. He’s young, strong, healthy. There’s no way he’s not recovering from this…”

Claire couldn’t hide her idiotic smile. Andrews smiled. Then he became serious again. “However…I must warn you. I had to cut a part of his liver. He didn’t respond well and he crushed so I had to put him an ostomy bag…”

“That means he won’t be able to …”

“That’s just temporary… I hope so. I read a lot of trials about these bags and there’s good chance we can remove it in a few time. But I’m afraid he’ll have diabetes for life.”

Claire remained silent. It was hard to hear this. And she knew it would be harder for Neil to hear it when he’ll wake up. But on the bright side, he was alive with good chances of recovery. Deep inside herself, she felt relieved. She’d rather see him with some disabilities than not see him again. She couldn’t imagine her life without him. She won’t survive, especially after all that had happened this year. 

“Thank you, Dr. Andrews for saving his life….”

Andrews pressed her shoulder and left the room. “See you in one hour to talk about Mr. Jenkins”. 

Life was a little better even if she would have to make it understand to Neil. She went to his office the heart a little lighter. Her file and the books were still here, right where she had left them last night. She picked all her stuff and joined Shaun and Park in Andrews’ office. 

Andrews was late. He had to check on some patients including Melendez before joining them. He winked at Claire. She smiled. It meant Neil was OK. She could focus on her job. She didn’t know for sure but Andrews seemed to get how her friendship with Neil meant for her and he didn’t judge her for being friend with her attending. Other people didn’t get it. They thought she was trying to be close to Melendez to get some favors… Actually she was friend with him just because he understood her better than anyone else. 

She came out of her thoughts while Andrews was asking if they had any lead on Mr. Jenkins‘s case. Shaun explained he looked for spinal column and pelvis injuries but there was none. He was worried but he was sure there was something wrong in his pelvis because the X-Rays were blurred. He just needed a little more time to explore this possibility. 

Claire was one of the only people who knew when he was in a bad place. And he was right now. All he needed was to hear a medical condition he didn’t know about. It would keep his mind busy enough to get better. 

“I may have an explanation… I’ve made some research on a syndrome called chronic nerve syndrome… It’s a chronic disease which causes unbearable and searing pains in the leg. The pain comes from nowhere and don’t stop until you take fentanyl or put a patch on the leg to ease the pain… On reports, some patients tell the pain is so severe and strong that they are like knocked off on their feet and can’t move.”

Andrew remained silent for a while processing what Claire had just said. 

“Great idea, Dr. Browne. I had heard about it but never saw someone with this disease. Go with Murphy and make some tests to confirm your theory. Park, come with me, I need some help on another case.”

Claire and Shaun spent the day to confirm the diagnosis. They went to the lab, brought Mr. Jenkins to radiography, MRI and echography. And it was worth it because Claire and Shaun finally confirmed the diagnosis. They announced Andrews the good news and then followed him to the room of the patient. 

Despite the fact that there was no treatment other than one to ease the pain, Mr. Jenkins felt appeased. He knew what he was suffering from. He could put a name on all his sufferings and it was a life savior. Andrews explained to him his options and then let him alone for the night. He needed to rest, to think about the best option for him. Fentanyl would stop the pain but he would be likely to become dependent on the drugs. Patches were fine but they would never really stop the suffering. This disease was really tiring, insidious and only sleep helped to ease the pain. 

“Good work today, you two. Now go home and sleep. See you tomorrow.”

Shaun left Claire alone in the corridor and went to the locker room to get his stuff. He was eating at Glassman’s tonight and he was so excited he talked about it all day. As she was walking to the locker room herself, she changed her way and stopped by Morgan’s room. 

“Hello Morgan, how are you?”

Morgan was surprised to see Claire there. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m happy to see you too. What’s the news? Do they say when you can leave the hospital?”

Morgan relaxed. “Pretty good actually… If you except the fact I could never operate again… I’m coming home tomorrow. And I don’t know what I’ m doing with myself…”

Claire came next to her friend and hugged her. She helped her to say goodbye to her mother and she wanted to be there for her. “You know I’m here. We can find a way for you to exercise medicine. You can’t operate anymore but it doesn’t mean you can’t use your skills elsewhere.”

She remained with Morgan a long while. It was good to talk with her friend. She told her about Melendez. She didn’t know he had been hurt during the earthquake. She promised to go to see him tomorrow. He will need all the possible support to get through this ordeal. 

Claire left the room and promised Morgan she comes to see her at her apartment in the next few days. She was glad to have come to see Morgan. Even if a lot of people thought she was a jerk, she didn’t see her like that. She was just a broken girl who had had a very troubled childhood and didn’t get through it. She just wanted to be the best because her mother didn’t really pay attention to her. And it was seen as proudness, disdain or arrogance…

As she was on her way to the locker room, she stopped by Neil’s room. He was sleeping. She was sad not to be able to talk with him tonight. It had been more than 12 hours since they had shared their last word… It was too long… She took a piece of paper and a pen from the nurses desk and went back to Neil’s room. She wrote some words and put the piece of paper in his right hand. His fingers moved at the moment Claire’s fingers brushed his. Claire took this as a sign. He will get better soon. 

“See you tomorrow, Neil. Tonight, I have to go home to get some rest in a real bed.”

As she was leaving the room, he opened an eye. Just the time for him to see her disappear at the corner of the corridor.


	7. Chapter 7 : Learning

Chapter 7 : Learning

He was now a disabled person. He never thought of that. He was not sure he could accept this one day. But it was the case and whatever he liked it or not, he will have to live like that. It was harsh for him. He always had been in the front line: king of the prom, major of his university promotion, students representative of his class, top resident and now leading attending in a famous hospital. 

This was a new world. He was alive because his liver and colon were linked to an ostomy bag. He had diabetes and he was on the transplant list, on the top of the list. Life was harsh and right now, he was overwhelmed by the situation.

“Hard time, right?”

It was Morgan. As she promised Claire yesterday, she went to see Neil this morning as she was just discharged herself. Neil remained silent and looked at the window. He was not in the mood for talking. He pressed harder the piece of paper he had in his hand. It was the only thing he wanted to think about at the moment. Claire always knew how to move him. 

“Ok, I understand you are not in the mood for talking. I know that, better than you can imagine. But you’ll learn than talking can help you… Yesterday, I was like you when Claire entered my room. And then we talked for hours and you know what? I’m feeling a little bit better today… It will take me a lifetime and maybe more to accept I can’t operate anymore…. But I can just say that this talking removed a part of my bad mood…”

Neil gave a faint smile. Claire was a good listener and always knew how to reveal the best in people. He once told her she made him a better surgeon, a better person. Her ability to read in people, to make them feel useful, to show them they mattered always amazed him. 

“Ok??? You don’t want to talk… I understand…But I’ll be back tomorrow and all the days afer until you talk to me. I can be very patient, you know. See you soon, Dr. Melendez…”  
Claire came after her shift. She sat on the chair and told him about Mr. Jenkins’ case and how she found he was suffering from chronic nerve syndrome and how she rummaged in his book shelves in his office. 

“I’m sorry, but I really needed to find bibliography and your office is full of great books about unknown pathologies… Won’t do it, I promise. And I don’ t even know why I did it in the first place.”

He smiled. The first time in days. And once again, it was thanks to her. 

She fell asleep minutes later. As most of the nights, she didn’t go home and preferred to stay next to him. No matter how she was sore or aching the morning after. She just remained next to him, not to leave him alone… Even if he was disabled… Nurse Petringa came to check on his vitals and gave him some drugs for the night.   
“She’s still here” She said smiling. 

Neil smiled at her back. “Yeah… She always is….” He looked at her. She was deeply asleep, rolled on the tiny chair. 

Nurse Petringa continued. “I call the logistics. I may have found a solution for her to be more confortable. I’m waiting for them to call me back in the next minutes.” Then she left the room.   
Neil was puzzled. What did she want to say? Before he could even think about something, he saw Nurse Petrinka coming back with an empty bed. “For your friend! As she will spend as many nights as you in this hospital room, it’s better if she’s well-settled!” 

She asked to the logistics coordinators to place the new bed next to Neil’s one. 

Then the two men took the chair where Claire was sleeping and pulled it to the end of the room. Nurse Petrinka nodded to them as to give them an order. They took Claire, put her in the bed and left the room. Nurse Petringa came and covered her with a blanket. She barely moved, she was exhausted. 

“She’ll be better like that… Good night, Dr. Melendez…”

As she woke up Claire didn’t understand where she was. When she fell asleep last night she was in a chair, and now she was in a bed ?!? How was it possible? It took her a few seconds to snap out of all this.

“Good morning”

Neil was awake and smiling at her. He saw her puzzled look. “Yesterday, Nurse Petringa made some adjustments to my room and I’m kind of like it…”

She smiled. She liked it too. And she was late once again Yet she slept in the hospital. 

“I have to go to work… And I’m kind of like it too. “ She sneaked in out of the room. “See you tonight after my shift.”

She was already disappearing in the busy corridor of the hospital and he was still here… Alone and disabled. And his mood went down. He let the nurses do their jobs and took care of him. But his mind was not here. He thought about the time – not so far away! – when he was running in the hospital to save one of his patients, when he drove his residents nuts, when he was not dependent of a bag to live…

“Still lost in your mind?” Morgan was back. “I told you I was coming back. Not gonna stop until you told me something.” She entered the room, sat in the chair and saw the new bed next to him. “You have a neighbor now? Is he nice? Or she? Too talkative? Or annoying? Oh god, I hope he or she’s not boring.”

Oh God how could she bother him right now. She was the talkative, annoying neighbor she was talking about. 

“How are your hands?” 

He finally talked to her. She knew how to be pretty annoying! He was as stubborn as she was… Maybe more than she was. 

“Pretty fine, thank you… If you except the pain I’m feeling night and day… And the fact I can’t operate anymore… But as Claire told me, I need to see life on the bright side… I’m alive while many other people died in this awful earthquake. I have still all my skills so I can be a doctor.. I just need to find my new way.. . Away from an OR…”

She remained quiet for a while. Neil didn’t say a word either. Her words were coming and going in his mind. Once again, Claire stroke again. Even if she was not there, she still managed to make him think… He was in the same place than Morgan. He was mad at being stuck in an hospital bed. But he was alive while many others who were at the place as he had died. He should be happy to be alive. In fact, he was but he was still feeling bitter. 

“Claire asks you to come, right?”

Morgan smiled at him. “Maybe she did. But I agreed to. She never forced me to do so. In fact, I told her it was a good idea because you know.. We are.. Um you know…”

“Disabled?” Neil answered. 

“Yeah… That sucks….”

Neither of them shared words for a long moment. They just stayed in the same room thinking about their future life because right now, they were at the same place and neither Neil, nor Morgan knew how to surpass what was happening to them. 

“Time for me to go home… Have a nice evening. Bet that Claire will come to see you before going home.”

She grabbed her stuff and put her bag on her shoulder. Her hands were still in pain. He could see she had troubles to lift her handbag.   
As Morgan was leaving the room, Neil felt the need to ask her to come the day after. He couldn’t explain it but he felt it was the right move to do by now. Morgan was the best person in the world he could talk to.The only one who got the place he was right now.   
“Ummmm… so… You’re coming tomorrow?”   
“Ummm… Of course… Good night, Dr. Melendez…”  
Morgan left the room. She was shaken. She would have never imagined that one day, she could have stayed for so long with Dr. Melendez and not even talk about medicine… And not even talk at all. But all she could say was that she had spent a good day. And she was glad to come back tomorrow because deep own onside her, she knew they needed to get through this together.   
Claire joined Neil later. As always she told him about the cases of the day. They shared theories about some patients. Neil questioned her diagnosis and asked her why she chose this one over the other. He loved to be a mentor. He loved to teach her because she was smart, special… As he was explaining to her how to perform a perfect sternotomy, she felt asleep in her bed. 

Days passed and Neil could feel that his fractures were going better. The physiotherapist even started to talk about re-education. Not today but in a few weeks probably. At least, he could soon walk on his own and get on a stroll in the corridor of the hospital… Better than nothing. 

His days had always the same pattern – not that he complained about it – On mornings, nurses took care of him At noon, the doctors came to say hi. On afternoons, Morgan came and they talked about their disabilities and how to surpass them or at least how to confront them. He never thought he had said that one day but he kind of liked Morgan. When you scratched a little, she was not the cold, heartless woman anyone described. She was a sensible, funny lady who just needed to be seen as the best… Probably because of her childhood and her complicated relationship with her mother. 

But his favorite moment of the day was each evening when Claire came to join him to discuss medical cases. They often argued on the best way to handle things. It was fun. It gave him the impression he was still a real doctor, not a patient stuck in a bed because of his multiple fractures and his ostomy bag. They also talked about many other things. He made him feel a little lighter, he made him think of the good old days when they went to play bowling or eat at Jack’s and spend hours talking about their favorite places or the best way to cook an egg ( no kidding, they really talked about that!).

Until one day, his routine was unsettled by Marcus Andrews… 

“I have an offer to make you…”


	8. Chapter 8 : double or nothing

Chapter 8 : double or nothing

NB I’m not working in the medical area. Sorry if there are some medical mistakes !!!

“I have an offer to make you…” 

Neil was surprised to see Andrews coming to his room in the middle of the afternoon. Morgan was not there yet. She had an appointment to the doctor to check on her hands. Andrews really chose his moment well. He looked at him in the eyes. 

“What are you thinking?” 

“Right to the goal. That’s what I like about you, Neil. You don’t lose time with details. I’d like to propose you something. But I’d like to do it when you were alone… You’re a very popular guy!”

Neil wanted to laugh but his abdomen was too aching for that. 

“I read a lot of trials recently and there’s a possibility to link your liver to your intestine thanks to a test device. But once it will be done, it could not be undone… And you couldn’t eat some solid food for quite a while…”

“Quite a while. What does this mean. How much time?”

“Between 2 and 5 years… It depends on people. The trial is pretty recent. The first patient to be provided with the device was operate 5 years ago and he starts eating some solid food for only a few months… Others are more responsive and could eat solid food two years after the surgery. I can’t give you for sure an answer to your question… The only thing I can tell you is that you won’t need a liver transplant… Which is huge… But in the same time, the device will deprive you from a big part of your life. I let you for a while.. I come back tomorrow to know what you’ll decide.”

Neil was lost in his thoughts. Too many things were in his mind right now. He had to choose between waiting for a liver which might never arrive or be operated right away and lose the ability to eat as any normal human being. What to decide? His proudness was very low. His self-esteem too. He used to be a leader and now he was just a broken person. And he needed to be alone. 

Morgan came after her appointment to say hi. It was late and she couldn’t stay. She told him her hands were recovering fine. But no way, she began physical therapy in the next few weeks. Her hands were still too fragile. She couldn’t hide her disappointment. 

“I may be disappointed but you, you are worried.”

He remained silent. “I won’t bother you anymore for the day. Maybe tomorrow, you’ll be more willing to talk. Good night...”

She left the room. As she was going out of the hospital, she met Claire. She was taking some time alone outside. As always, she was hiding from the world in the stairs. She was on two big surgeries today because of Neil and Morgan’s absences. 

“Hi… You seem exhausted. Is your shift almost over?”

“Still 3-hour long…”

“Tough time… Sorry to add more bad news to your day but you should go to see Melendez… Just went to his room and he seemed preoccupied. He didn’t say a word when I went to say hi…I’ll be back tomorrow to spend more time with him… But today he’s different, he’s elsewhere… And you’re probably the only person in the world he will talk to… Goodbye Claire, see you tomorrow… Maybe we could eat together tomorrow night…”

“It’ll be nice. Tomorrow at 7PM if it suits you? ”

“Be there.”

Morgan left Claire to go to her car. Claire went back to the hospital to check on her patients of the day. But she kept in her mind the words Morgan told her about Neil. He was not well. She needed to know why he was feeling this way. When she left his room this morning, he was alright. Was it a bad news? It had to be a bad news… But which kind? 

“Dr. Browne!?!”

“Oh sorry Mrs. Weeks… What do you want to know?”

“You were lost in your mind, darling. What happens? You have a problem with your boyfriend? Is he mad at you? Is he leaving you?”

Claire laughed. Mrs. Weeks was a very persuasive 80-year-old woman. She reminded her of her old neighbor when she was a kid who gave her some chocolate and biscuits when she came back from school. 

“It’s nothing… I’m just preoccupied because one of my friends is not well at the moment and I don’t know what to do about it. But no need to worry about me, focus on your surgery tomorrow either. I’ll come to explain to you the procedure at 10AM. And then Dr. Andrews will meet you in the OR.”

“Don’t worry for me, Sweetheart. I’ve already been there three times before. My heart is old but I’m sure it ‘ll take another surgery. Go and find your friend. He needs you right now. More than I do actually.”

Claire left Mrs. Weeks’ room. She dropped the medical file by Andrews’ office and went to change in the locker room. Then she almost ran to Neil’s room and found him motionless in his bed. He was staring at the wall in front of him. 

“It has been a rough day… From what I see, yours has been pretty messy too…”

And she sat on her bed waiting for his answer. He didn’t say one. She didn’t force him to talk. But she knew deep inside her he was in a wrong place. His looks was dark, he didn’t smile. She couldn’t let him alone, not tonight, not now, he so needed her. She stayed here looking at her files, taking notes, preparing in her head Mrs. Weeks’ tomorrow surgery. Then she felt asleep.   
The day after, as she woke up, Neil was looking at her. 

“Good morning, you slept well?”

“Pretty well… Better today?”

He stopped smiling. She knew she made a mistake. “I’m going to be late… I need to go… I’ll come say hi tonight… I won’t stay… I’ll eat by Morgan’s… Guess we’ll talk more tomorrow…”   
She took some times to tie her hair before leaving the room. And went to join the corridor. 

“Claire?” She turned back to him. “What if I tell you Andrews find a way to fix me?”

She came closer to his bed and pressed his forearm. “That’s awesome! What is it? When did he tell you that?”

He didn’t seem as happy as she was and it struck her. 

“Why ain’t you happy? This is great news though…”

“It may let me more disabled than I already am… I don’t know if I’m ready for this…” She pressed his forearm harder. He needed to know she was there for him. She was her friend. She was there for him. He was not alone in this mess… He looked at her in the eyes. He was crying. 

“This new procedure.. The one Andrews talked to me about yesterday… It is a way to remove me from the transplant list…To not have an ostomy bag anymore… But… if I do it, there’s a chance I could never eat solid food… “

Claire took his hand in hers. Tears were rolling down on her cheeks. “Choose what seems the best for you… You’re the only one who knows how you can live… No one knows you better than you do… And right now, the only question you have to ask yourself is: what do you truly desire?”

He pressed her tiny hand in his. She was such a good heart when it came to advice… She knew how to talk to people. She knew how to make people feel safe. And it was all he needed. He didn’t lie years earlier when he said to Andrews she was his best communicator. 

“I don’t know what to do…”

“I won’t tell you what to do… Because it’s not my role … It’s up to you to choose… All I can tell it’s that of course, there’s a scenario I prefer.. I won’t tell you which one because it’ll influence you and I don’t want to do that. It’s your life, your health, your disability. You have to decide what to do with your own life. All I’ll say is you can live with a disability. You can make of it a strength and inspire people. Look at Shaun. When he came here, no one believed in him except Dr. Glassman. And then he proved to everyone you can be autistic and you can be a doctor. That’s a pretty beautiful message of hope…”

They stayed like that, looking at each other in the eyes, for what seemed hours. Tears were rolling down their cheeks. “I should go… I’m going to be very late…” 

As she removed her hand from his, both felt emptiness. Life had to go on. But at which price? 

Claire took some time for herself and went to the locker room to get some stuff. As she joined Shaun and Park in Andrews’ office, she excused for being late. She stumbled on her own words. She was not in great shape. Her talking with Neil broke her. In order to live, he had to choose to be deprived of one of the best pleasure in life… It was harsh. She wished deep down herself, he’ll choose this option though. Because remaining on the transplant list was too risky and uncertain. And she was not ready to let him go. 

“Browne, you’re with us?”

“Oh sorry… Mrs. Weeks has been informed of the procedure yesterday.”

“There’s just one last change, you’re gonna do the procedure with Dr. Lim. Dr. Murphy, Dr. Park and I have another planned surgery…”

“Ummm Ok… But which surgery?”

Claire seemed puzzled. What was this big, important surgery that required 3 surgeons and let her alone for an open heart surgery with only Lim as a supervisor. 

Park, Shaun and Andrews shared a look. Andrews gave them a head up as to give them the order to leave the room. She remained alone with him. 

“Why are you booting me out of your big surgery?” She asked directly. 

“Because this is my choice, I’m your superior. And I want you on Mrs. Weeks’ surgery. You seem to have a good feeling with her. She likes you. And I think it’s important for a patient to like her doctor.”

Claire frowned. At this precise moment, she was sure Andrews was lying to her. But would he do that? She was one of his residents. What was the point to hide things from her.   
“Not buying it. What are you keeping from me?”

Andrews seemed embarrassed. He didn’t want to tell her about Melendez and the experimental trial. He didn’t want her to be a part of the surgery. But she didn’t stop looking at him, face to face, eyes to eyes and she didn’t look back. 

“I want to know what you are hiding from me. It’s about Neil, isn’t it?”

She called Melendez by his first name in front of her supervisor. She was so angry she didn’t even realize she had called him like that until she heard her tell him out loud. Andrews didn’t know how to start with. 

“Yesterday, I propose Neil to be part of a trial experiment… And this morning he made me call by the nurses and he agrees to be a part of it.”

So he did choose to be operate on even if it meant being deprived of eating properly, at least for a time… He chose what she would have chosen. And he moved her. 

“I’m prep…”

He stopped her.

“No you don’t.”

“Why?” She said it so aggressively she didn’t recognize herself.

“You can’t operate, Claire. That’s all.” She was so angry. How could he tell her that. She had worked night and day for more than 4 years to get when she was right now. She fought to be the best, to rise up, to play the game on her own terms and she was refused to be on a surgery which really mattered to her. What was that?

“But I’m here and I’m ready. Why are you preventing me from that?”

“Just take care of Mrs. Weeks. She needs to have her exams done before surgery this afternoon. End of discussion”

‘I can take care of Mrs. Weeks AND operate on Dr. Melendez!”

“Claire!”

“What?”

“I don’t want someone as involved as you are with Dr. Melendez in my OR.”

“What are you talking about? We’re just friends!”

“Oh Claire, we both know you are more than that…”

Andrews left the room and let her alone and disconcerted. She had not seen that coming at all…


	9. Chapter  9 : Trial

Chapter 9 : Trial

It was a hard, grueling, tiring surgery. Andrews was so focused his face was covered with sweat. The nurse next to him spent her time to soak up his forehead. Park was in front of Andrews ready to take the lead if Andrews was too tired. He was stressed to be in second position. But he was Andrews’ idea and he got it completely. He was probably the less close person around Melendez and he needed someone with a clear mind if there was any complication. 

Shaun was focused too. His role was to check on each step of the procedure to not forget any point. He was the well-placed person to do that. He was more than meticulous, he was precise. He was an asset to be successful. 

For a moment, Neil’s heart raced. Andrews slowed down his way of doing. Neil’s body had been tested a lot by the numerous surgeries he recently had: his leg, his hand and his liver were operated on the same day, just after the earthquake. 

Andrews knew he needed to be patient, to do the good gesture at the precise time. He had to save his dear colleague or some people could never forgive him. This surgery was gonna be long and exhausting but it was worth it. 

Claire joined Mrs. Weeks in her room. She needed some exams before going to surgery this afternoon. As she entered the room, she noticed Claire’s swollen eyes. 

“What happened sweetheart? Still your boyfriend?”

Claire couldn’t prevent her from smiling. This woman was really like her dear neighbor she had when she was a child. It was good to feel that someone really worried about you. 

“No… I don’t have a boyfriend…. Not have one for a long time… Don’t have time with work… This is just my friend I talked you about yesterday… He’s currently in surgery and I’ve been booted of the surgery…”

Mrs. Weeks took her hand. “Maybe it’s better this way, you can’t operate and be worried in the same time… And to be honest, I’m happy you are the one taking care of me. The two boys are pretty handsome but they are not as nice as you are.”

Claire smiled to her. She didn’t even know her and yet she was the only one who could make her feel better these days. 

She explained to her the procedure once again, giving any details. She took her to X-rays for some last exams and went to lab to get the results of her blood test. At noon, she was preparing to join Lim in the OR. Just before she entered the room to get prep, she took a look to the board and saw that Andrews was still in the middle of the procedure… And given the articles she quickly read this morning on her phone, it will at least last 3 more hours… if everything was going well. 

“Ready, Dr. Browne?”

Lim was just behind her. “Stop worrying about Neil… Let’s focus on Mrs. Weeks. She needs us right now.”

Claire always admired Lim’s professionalism. Even more in a moment like that. This woman was strong. She understood why Neil had fallen for her. She was really an exceptional person. She nodded at her and gave her a faint smile. 

“I’m all yours, Dr. Lim.”

The two women entered the OR and read the latest news about Mrs. Weeks. Good news, her heart was in good predisposition. Her blood test results were encouraging. Lim gave Claire the scalpel. 

“Dr. Browne, could you make me the honor to make the first cut?”

The surgery lasted for four hours. It was not easy to change an aortic valve especially on an 80-year-old woman. But she was strong and healthy. Claire stayed focused on her goal. She needed to save this woman and to give her more time. She had promised her earlier that everything will be alright. She helped Lim to remove the old valve. Lim even let her do several complicated incisions under the heart and let her connect the new valve with the aorta. 

As she was closing, Lim thanked her for her professionalism. “Nice work today, Claire.”

Claire nodded at her, smiling. She came out of the OR. She needed some air. Her feet were all sore. Her head ached. And she only thought about Neil… Was he still in surgery? Was he out? She wanted to go to the board to check. She needed to check. Deep down inside her, she knew despite the fact she was exhausted she needed to go and know if everything was alright with him. 

As she walked back to the OR lobby, she saw Lim. “I believe you were gone…” She was near the board too. Claire stumbled with words. “That’s just that… Ummm… you know… I needed to…”  
Lim interrupted her. “You wanted to know if he was out of surgery.” She smiled at her. They both went to the board and noticed that Neil‘s name was not on the board anymore. They both were relieved and let out a sigh of relief. “He’s in recovery room.” 

It was Nurse Nevin. “He was out of surgery one hour ago. From what I saw he was fine.”

Claire and Audrey nodded at her and walked to the cafeteria to eat something. No one told a word, they remained silent, lost in their own thoughts. 

“I’m gonna check on Mrs. Weeks” Claire stood up and left the table. She needed to be on her own for a while. 

“See you soon, Claire.”

Claire went to Mrs. Weeks’ ICU room. She was back from the recovery room. As she entered the room, Mrs. Weeks smiled at her. 

“I told you, I was a tough cookie, sweetheart.”

Claire smiled, then checked on her vitals. She was fine, really fine. This woman was as hard as stone! She was inspiring. 

“What about your friend? Is he OK?”

Claire repressed a sob. “He’s been out of surgery for 3 hours now… I have not…”

Her voice broke. 

“You should go and check on him, he surely needs you more than I do. I’m fine and all these adorable nurses will take good care of me for sure. You did your part. Now let me do mine: go and check on your dear friend.”

Claire hesitated. She didn’t want to let her patient alone, especially after such a complicated surgery. Mrs. Weeks waved her to go. She went out of the room and took Neil’s file from the nurses station. 

“Room 12” Nurse Petringa was right behind her. “You should go see him.”

She nodded and found her way to room 12. Neil was there, lying. He seemed peaceful. The room was quiet. Not a sound except the beeps of the machine. She couldn’t stop the tears from her eyes. He was there, he was alive, he was free from his ostomy bag. And even if she knew his future was not gonna be bright each day, he chose to live. And it meant the world to her.   
She entered the room and came close to his bed. She took his hand and squeezed it. Just for him to know she was there. Just for him to know he was not alone. Just for him to know he was alive. She wiped her tears with her sleeve. She shouldn’t be crying right, she should be thanking Andrews for his brilliant ideas and his excellent work. Instead, she chose to stay here for a while.

She was pulled out of her dreams some times later. “So here you are.”

It was Morgan. “Oh my God, I’ m sorry! I forgot about our dinner. I’m so sorry but..”

“No need to excuse you. I understand, you had a hell of a day.”

Claire smiled. “Give me just a few minutes to change”. She left the room. Morgan stayed alone in the room with Dr. Melendez. It was weird to see him like that. He was very impressive when he taught them medicine. And here he seemed so small, so fragile. She felt sorry for him. But she also knew he had done the right choice. If he ever had died, he would have destroyed her friend. 

Despite everything Claire was saying, she knew for years Dr. Melendez and Claire had a special connection, something she couldn’t explain, something special. She witnessed it the day she had caught them running together before shift or the time she had seen them dancing at the prom Claire had organized for a sick patient and her boyfriend. 

“Ready to go?” Morgan jumped. 

“Did I frighten you?” Claire was laughing. 

“Yes, of course! Girls night, here we go.”

As they left the room, she could have said for sure, she saw one of Claire’s hands pressed Dr. Melendez’ one for just for a few seconds. She told nothing and she left the room with Claire.   
On their way to Morgan’s house, they stopped to make some shopping to prepare dinner. As they arrived at Morgan’s house, they made their way to the kitchen. 

“Do you want some wine?”

“Sure”

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“Me too.”

They smiled at each other. Morgan had been here when Claire lost her mother. She was the one who was with her when she threw the ashes away. If she hadn’t been there, she wouldn’t have been able to do it. As weird as it seemed, Morgan was one of her closest friends. She never knew she could have said that three years ago when she had first met. And yet, here was she: at Morgan’s house, sharing a pretty good meal and laughing about life. Because life had been really harsh for both of them since years now. 

“You are close from Dr. Melendez, aren’t you?”

Claire remained silent. But Morgan knew her well by now. “No need to hide Claire. Since the moment, I saw you two together, I saw this special connection. You two are close… This is obvious and I don’t judge you. You should just remain careful. Even if he’s a patient, he’s still remaining your attending…”

Claire looked down. She stumbled with words. “This is just… He’s my friend… a good one.. Like you are...” Morgan put her hand on Claire’s one.

“I do understand that... Just be careful. You’re a soft touch, Claire and the world around is harsh and cruel. If you do one simple mistake, it could endanger all you have been building up to now. I’ve worked with you. I know you’re skilled. But other people won’t see it that way. There are rumors, there will be. I was one of these people. I filled a favoritism complaint… I’m sorry I did… I should never have done that… But I was jealous of you having the whole attention of Dr. Melendez… And then my hands happened… I understood then that you had Dr. Melendez’s attention because you never thought of you first. You put the patient first and you didn’t care if your ideas were disconcerting or disturbing.”

Claire was moved. She never heard Morgan talked like that before. Her hand surgery really changed her. She was more open, less competitive. She was just Morgan, the girl who helped her to bury her mother.

The two women talked a lot for at least two other hours. “Should go home. Working tomorrow and it’s past midnight. Thank you so much for this evening. We should do this more often.”

Claire hugged Morgan. It was obvious she never really hugged like that before. She had a difficult childhood too, not for the same reasons. And she had learnt to interact with people for only a few months. She just needed to show people she can be loved even when she was not loveable. 

Claire came to her apartment. She took a long shower and went to bed. She slept for only a few hours. At 5 AM, she couldn’t sleep anymore. Her sleep was really bad this time. In fact, it had been bad since the earthquake. She was still panicked and stressed about it. She was afraid it happened again. She was scared Neil got hurt again… She couldn’t stop dwelling on this awful night when everything changed forever…

She got up from her bed, got dressed and called a taxi. As she arrived to the hospital, she went directly to the room 12 of the ICU unit and sat in the chair next to Neil’s bed. He was sleeping. She took his hand in hers and waited for a change… until she deeply felt asleep too.


	10. Chapter 10 - Recovery

Chapter 10 : Recovery

It had already been a month since Neil had been operated. Each day, his body was getting better and showed good signs of recovery. His mind was not as well. Claire spent most of her evenings with him but he was kind of distant. Never mind, she needed really more bad moods and grumpy times than this to give up. She knew one day – when he will have finally accept his new condition – he will be more eloquent. 

She spent hours to explain to him the procedures she was working on, she came to him to ask for advice... Even if sometimes she already knew the answers. She was sure he liked these moments, even if he didn’t say a lot of words. 

Morgan was doing her part too. Each afternoon, when she was not at her doctors’ appointments, she came and sat with him for hours. She was talking about her new life, her new passion for cooking (she made perfect carrot pancakes!), the fact that she was about to adopt a dog from a shelter soon. Everything was a good reason to make him talk and tell what was on his mind. 

To be relevant enough, Morgan and Claire shared the information they managed to get each day. Better be two to try to understand what was happening in Neil Melendez’ s head. Getting through this together made Claire and Morgan closer than ever. This friendship was refreshing for Claire. She had finally a female friend she could share her private stories with. It was good, especially in this hard time. 

Andrews came to see Neil and told him the good news. After a long month in ICU, he was about to be transferred in a normal room this afternoon. Melendez mumbled. “Not happy about it?” Andrews was teasing him. Neil finally gave him a faint smile. 

“I prefer when you’re like that. I’ll come to see you tonight after my shift to talk to you about the next chapters. But you have already come a long way. Happy for you!”

Andrews left the room. Neil was alone again. Not that he was in the mood to see people but when he was alone, he couldn’t stop thinking about his new condition. 

“Lost in your mind again?” It was Morgan. “I told you I’ll be back. Nurses told me you’re leaving the ICU this afternoon. That’s huge!” Once again he was quiet. 

“Not in the mood. I’ve got it. I’ve been there. And you know why? Being disabled is not the end of the world. It just changes your daily life, the way you look at other people and the way they look at you. But more important, it gives you an unexpected strength, like you can do anything... Which is crazy because everyone always tells you that being disabled makes you weaker. In fact this is the contrary! So stop being an asshole, Dr. Melendez and talk to me… Talk to Claire who spends all her evenings and free time with you, because she’s such a devoted friend and such a good person! You shouldn’t treat her like that. She seems to like you a lot… And you don’t even give a chance to what she’s doing for you! Anyway, keep sulking because you’re not anymore the big, powerful doctor you used to be. I’m gonna see the nurses to know when you’re being moved to second floor.”

Morgan left the room. Neil was kind of disturbed by what Morgan just said to him. When he thought about it, she was not wrong. He had not been an easy person since his surgery. He barely talked to the people who came to see him… It was hard for them… He had been a douche… He had good friends who cared so much about them they came almost everyday to see him and all he had done was being disrespectful to them and ignore them. Who did that? Except a jackass… It was what he was, a stupid jackass! Damn, Morgan was right… He really fucked up. 

Andrews took good care of him, Park and Shaun went to check on him on a daily basis, Audrey came as soon as she had free time just to be sure he was OK, Morgan spent almost all her afternoons with him even if it meant spending an afternoon without saying a word. And of course, there was Claire…

Later nurses came to transfer him to the second floor. On his way to his new room, he saw a lot of familiar faces. All smiled at him and squeezed his arm or his shoulder. They were there for him, so he needed to get better for them. He was disabled and he couldn’t do anything against that. But he was alive as Morgan reminded him earlier. He had a bunch of good friends. Diabetes and his bionic liver were a real pain in the ass but they were also what was about to build the new Neil Melendez. 

As he reached his new room, he saw her. She was there, right next to the door, smiling at him. Their looks locked for seconds as if they were alone in this lobby. He wanted to say her how he was sorry for his behavior, how he regretted to have been such a jackass with his friends, colleagues and especially with her but he didn’t know how to do that. He was not good at excuses. 

Days passed. Neil’s health improved. Shaun removed the plasters from his hand and leg. His rib was not broken anymore. And he learnt days after days to deal with his diabetes. His liver device was well-accepted by his body. No sign of rejection. The most difficult part remained the food. Most of his food had to be blended. He couldn’t drink anything but water at the time. For a person who loved to cook as he and drinking fine whiskey, it was really complicated to deal with. 

Morgan brought him a lot. She came every day with new articles about his conditions. She spent hours to study them – as she said, she had a lot of hours to kill – and was sure everything will improve in the next two years. The trial was very successful and the doctors in charge of it were about to patent and turn it into a common procedure. 

They spent hours to discuss about it. It was electrifying. Morgan was really a smart person. He noticed that when she was his resident. But he didn’t like her haughty behavior and her disdain towards other interns. He made her notice a lot of time but she didn’t care at the time. And then, there had been this favoritism complaint… He thought he could never forgive that… He had always tried to be fair with all of his residents, to give them equal chances… He knew Claire was smart, special. He had even told her out loud. The other residents were jealous. Morgan was jealous. But since, she had understood she did wrong. 

Morgan was happy to be there too. At first, she did it for Claire because she knew her friend was in pain and needed someone to share her burden. Then, she understood Claire sent her to see Melendez because they could share so many other things than years of residency. Claire insisted on the fact they both shared a disability, that only both of them could understand each other because they were at the top of their skills and their worlds just collapsed in a few minutes. Morgan thought she was telling that because she was desperate to find someone to check on Melendez. 

That was not the case… The more time she spent with Melendez, the better she was feeling. This friendship stimulated her intellect and brought her confidence. 

“Ready for your check up?” 

Neil could recognize Claire’s voice anywhere. “What are you doing here? Thought it was a busy day.”

“Andrews gave me two hours off. I asked if I could take you to your exams. He approves. So am I. Ready to get good news?”

"Always so confident…”

“There’s no reason not to… It’s been more than three months since you’re here, two since the surgery. If something’s gone wrong, it should have already happened.”

She smiled at him, and he knew at that moment she might be right. And it was what scared him the most. In the hospital, he was like in a cocoon. But once he will be declared healed, he will have to confront the outside world and he didn’t know if he was ready for that. Claire pressed his shoulder as she was pushing his wheelchair to the X Ray room.

“It’s gonna be OK”

She was really the only person to know how to read his mind, even when he didn’t say a word. He put his hand on her and looked at her in the eyes. “Thanks for being such a good friend to me”. 

Neil took his exam with success. The device was really well-integrated to his digestive system. From now on, any sign of rejection was dismissed. The X-ray showed that his liver was getting better. Of course, he had to be examined by Andrews at least once every two weeks to be sure everything was OK. 

“Congratulations, Dr. Melendez! You can go home.” 

Neil was still shocked by Anthony’s words. He knew him for years. He used to ask him for the results of the patients. He trusted his professionalism and his seriousness and he believed him when he told him he was soon discharged. But he was still in denial. Something inside of his mind still prevented him from believing he was soon leaving the hospital where he had just spent more than 3 months as a patient. 

Claire entered the room. She was grinning. She came closer to him to help him to sit in the wheelchair and enjoyed the moment to whisper in his ear. “I’ve always knew you were gonna make it.”

Andrews came later in Neil’s room to explain to him how the next days will go by. First, he will be equipped with an insulin pump, then he will have to rent an hospital bed for his apartment – at least for a few months. He will have an appointment every week with him to check on his device. And as his leg and hand were finally freed from their plasters, he could start physiotherapy in a few days. 

So many ideas came in Neil’s mind at this moment. He was both happy and scared, relieved and frightened of the future. Nothing will ever be the same. He will have to adapt to a new life, to learn to live a different way. Not an easy thing for a man like him. But he will have too. First step, he had to rehabilitate in order to walk again. Then he could think about going back at work. 

All these ideas collided in his mind and made him panic inside. How could he do all of this? How could he have a normal life? Where to begin with? All of this made him feel anxious, stressed, oppressing. 

And then he looked up and saw Claire right there in one of the corner of the room. And he knew right away that everything will be alright.


	11. Chapter 11 - Getting better

Chapter 11 : getting better

First day at home. It was really weird to be there again. It was both a familiar and an unknown place. Everything was the same and in the same time, completely different. He enjoyed leaving the hospital. Not that he didn’t like the place, he did but he preferred to go there when he was a doctor, not a patient. 

From now on, it was time to adjust, to get used to his new life. Claire had taken care of renting a hospital bed for him and made it place in his bedroom, next to his actual bed. She also did some shopping and filled the kitchen cupboards. Just in case as she said. It made him smile. This tiny woman was able of a lot of incredible things! 

She was the one who was there the day he left the hospital. Audrey also came to help. They took care of what he needed, then left. He was alone in this big apartment. It was so strange because for almost 3 months he had seen nurses, doctors, colleagues and friends every day, sometimes several times a day. And at this precise moment, he could hear the sound of silence.   
Claire came back a few hours later because she had forgotten her phone in the kitchen. As she saw all her messages waiting for her, she became paler. 

“What happens?”

“Don’t worry… Just a last-minute problem… I can fix this... Just give some minutes.”

She scrolled her phone and then went out in the landing. He heard her talk on the phone but couldn’t decipher what she was truly saying. As she entered, she seemed defeated. 

“I’m sorry… The nurse who should come take care of you at home had a problem. Her son fell and broke his leg. So she can’t come… I tried to find someone but couldn’t… I’m so sorry…”  
“Don’t worry Claire, you already did a lot. I may take care of myself alone…”

“Are you crazy? There’s no way you stay alone with what had just happened to you! I ‘m gonna… I suppose I can take of you... At least for a few days, just for me to find you a nurse… Anyway, if it doesn’t bother you… I don’t want to impose me…”

“Stop Claire… I can never tell you such a thing… That’s really nice of you to propose… And I accept with great pleasure… To be fair, I won’t be really able to take care of myself alone… And I will kill you if you repeat this to anyone.”

Both laughed and relived the pressure of the previous minutes. “Just give me an hour or so for me to go home and take some clothes.” Claire left Neil’s apartment in a hurry, letting him alone in the living room with a blissful smile on his face. 

As she drove to her apartment, Claire was wondering why she had acted this way! She literally proposed to Neil to sleep in his apartment. How could she have suggested this? He was his friend but he was also his attending! She reminded of what Morgan had told her. But she liked spending time with Neil. He got her. Sometimes, she didn’t even have to say a single word for him to understand what she was about to say. It was destabilizing at first. Then she found it reassuring. 

She never had this kind of person in her life. Her mother was a wreck for all her life. She liked Kalu but he never understood her and she has troubles to communicate with him. Shaun was her best friend but she couldn’t really talk with him. Morgan revealed to be a very caring friend. But not as close as Neil. He had something the other hadn’t and she couldn’t explain what it was. 

When she came back to Neil’s apartment, he was in his coach, reading a book. “Hi… I’m back… Sorry it took so long.. I...”

“Glad you’re back. I ordered some Thai food for you… Hope it’s OK…” 

She was standing in the lobby. She was embarrassed. “Thank you, that’s perfect… But what about you?”

He showed her the bowl of soup on the table. “Thought of everything.” He smiled at her. She put her bag on the floor. And joined him on the sofa with the food. 

“Sorry you have to stay…”

She smiled to him in the way only her know to do this. “Happy to help”. For a moment, no one talked. She was uncomfortable. He was too. But being next to each other was yet the thing they both enjoyed the most since a few months now. After long minutes, Neil broke the silence and asked her about the case she was currently on. She talked to him about Mrs. Weeks, how she reminded her of her old neighbor when she was a kid, and how she was such a tough cookie. He laughed at all the stories she told him. This Mrs. Week was really a funny woman! And seeing Claire laughing made him feel lighter, as if he was not disabled anymore, as if he was the old Neil Melendez, a fighting fit, a normal man… Which he was not anymore. It hit him right in the heart. He tried to hide it from Claire. 

“Everything’s Ok?” You seem tired” She looked at her watch. “Oh sorry, it’s so late. You need to go to bed, you need to rest.” 

She helped him to go to his room and let him some time to change. As he finished, she heard he tried to lie down in his medical bed. She burst into the room. “Don’t even think to do this on your own.” She came next to him and helped him to get in bed. “You call me anytime you need, I’m not joking.”

He loved when she used her bossy tone. It made her dimples dig more. He knew he shouldn’t have noticed that. When he thought like that, he was more than a boss or a friend to her. But he couldn’t stop, it was too hard not to think about. She left the room and lit the light off. “Goodnight, Neil. “

Days passed and Claire and Neil found their routine. She was still looking for a home nurse but it was rarer than she had never expected. She asked for some days off at the hospital. She had a lot of them. She never found time to take them. Now was an opportunity she couldn’t miss and it will be easier for taking care of Neil and looking for a qualified nurse. She was exhausted. On days, she worked at the hospital, on her lunch breaks, she studied the procedures to perform. On evenings and nights, she took care of Neil and looked for a nurse. Some days off were very welcomed. 

For days, she called nurses but no one was available right away. She even discovered there was a waiting list! She couldn’t imagine what it was for people struggling with money! Neil had money and could employ a very expensive nurses service. What about people with no money? They had a right to be healed too! She stopped her researches for a while. She needed to take some time for her before Neil woke up from his nap. She took a book and started to read. As far as she turned the pages, her eyelids were more and more heavy and she finally fell asleep on the sofa, which was her bed for more than 2 weeks now. 

She was waking up by someone shaking up lightly her shoulder. It was Neil. “Time to wake up, It’s almost 10 AM.” It took her some minutes before realizing she had been sleeping a whole full night. Even more to be fair. “Sorry to wake you up but you told me yesterday you have an appointment at noon. Thought you need some time to prepare before you go.”

She jumped from the coach. Her back ached. She slept almost seated and her neck had not been supported by anything for more than 12 hours. She felt like she had been sleeping in a car or a bus. She stretched a little. 

“Any back ache?”

“Ohhh it’s Ok.. It’s just that I felt asleep while I was seated. I should have lain… My mistake. Next time, I’ll know.”

She left the room to get prepare. She met Morgan at noon for lunch and she didn’t want to be late. As she left the apartment, she told Neil she’ll be back in a few hours. He told her to take her time. He was seated in his easy chair. She gave him all he needed, even more. He could spend some hours alone. She smiled and told him goodbye. He waved at her. Even if she was glad to see Morgan, she was sad to let him alone. 

She arrived at the restaurant just in time. Morgan was already there. She joined her. 

“Hi! How are you going? You seem so tired. You scared me when I saw you enter the restaurant!”

Claire liked Morgan because she was direct, frank. Even more since she lost the ability to use her hands normally. They talked about her last appointments with the doctors, things were getting better and better. Soon she‘ll be able to start physiotherapy. She couldn’t hide her joy. It was a real breakthrough in her recovery… and her possible future as a doctor. 

Claire told her about her work, the surgeries she had been recently performing. This year had been particularly challenging and the fact that there were less surgeons in the service added many more challenges. But it was OK, she’ll only be better at the end of her residency because she had been able to succeed despite all the obstacles. And she still had to choose her specialty. She didn’t even think about it seriously. She had some leads but she was not sure yet. 

“Is Dr. Melendez Ok?” The question was so sudden, Claire didn’t have the time to realize. “He sent me some texts but I didn’t see him for almost a month now. Didn’t dare to come to his apartment… I don’t know if I can… I mean we had a good feeling at the hospital and I loved sharing and talking with him, but…”

At this precise moment, Claire had an idea. “Would you agree to be Neil’s nurse? I’m sorry to ask you this... I’m looking for someone serious… Can’t find anyone… And I don’t have many days off anymore…”

Morgan looked at her Claire puzzled. “Um… Of course I can do that… Are you telling me you were taking care of him till now while working ?!?”

“I may have done that for a month… But he had no one and his nurse dumped him the day he came back from the hospital… He couldn’t stay alone… And I was there… And I had some days off I had to take for years…”

“Sweetie… You don’t take days off for that... You take them because you need them to rest and free your mind… Of course, I’m going to play the nurse for Melendez. At least, it‘ll fill my days… Not as if I was super busy by now. “

She winked at Claire. The two women kept talking while they finished eating. As they were leaving the restaurant, Claire proposed Morgan to go to Neil’s apartment to talk to him about what they had previously discussed. 

“I follow you… I presume you know the way better than I do…”

Claire looked at Morgan and burst into laughing. Claire took her car and drove to Neil’s apartment. She knew the way by heart by now. As she parked in his garage, she met Morgan at the entrance of the building. She didn’t ask a question about her using his parking lot and having his keys. She just gave her a faint smile. 

As Claire opened the door of the apartment, Morgan noticed all her stuff scattered all around. She had no doubt now. Claire was living here. For sure, she was living her since Neil had come from hospital and she couldn’t find a nurse. She was bringing back to reality when Claire called her. 

“Morgan, you can come… Neil, Morgan is here because I ask her to help you… As I can’t find a nurse … She can be very useful… She’s more than competent... And you like spending time with her, so…”

She was stumbling on words. Neil smiled at her. “It’s OK. To be fair, it’s a very good idea. Morgan has been a good friend at the hospital and helped me through a lot. Never have thought about this possibility. But it makes sense. So you can focus on work and your residency.”

Morgan was glad to be helpful. She didn’t feel that way since the day of her surgery on. But she also couldn’t miss that when Neil ended his line his looks was lost in the vague and full of melancholia.


	12. Chapter 12 - Rehabilitation

Chapter 12 : Rehabilitation

Morgan was taking care of Neil for almost a week now. Claire went back to work and came to Neil’s apartment every night, for him not to stay alone for the night. He was getting better and better. Being with Morgan was a good thing for him. She made him feeling better and she learnt him to deal with his disability with some kind of philosophy. 

Today was a special day. Exactly four months after he collapsed during the earthquake, it was Neil’s first day of rehabilitation. “The day when the rest of your life starts” as Claire used to repeat him. She was always positive. . Even when she was exhausted as hell, she kept the force to remain positive. He didn’t know where he’ll be if she had not been there. She even managed to organize with the physiologist that he did his physiology sessions in the same time than Morgan. “You won’t be alone… And neither will she.” 

Even in the darkest moments, she was helping people. She really was the soft touch that he had missed his whole life. 

Morgan came to pick Neil in her car and drove them to the hospital. Their first session was scheduled at 10AM. 

“Ready to walk again? I can’t deny. I’m pretty excited! I know it will hurt and I’ll have my ups and downs but it also means I’m starting a new part of my life.”

“The rest of our life…”

Neil thought of Claire as he was saying these words. And he smiled. Morgan kept talking while she was driving. She was so excited that she didn’t even let Neil tell a word. 

“Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t even let you talk… “

She was feeling so bad. It was a great day for him too and she didn’t even let him express himself. He smiled at her. 

“It’s OK, Morgan. I don’t have a lot to say anyway.”

She dropped Neil in front of the hospital and helped him with his crutches. Nurses were there to welcome him. Morgan joined him inside the hospital where he seated in the waiting room a little while later. They stayed silent, lost in their minds for quite a moment. Today was a big day and while Morgan was excited about it, Neil was scared that something went wrong, that all he managed to bring back together for the last 4 months now finally fell down like a card castle. 

He knew nothing will be like before but he believed he might find peace and happiness in his new life. All he had to do is believe in his future as Claire often told him. 

Morgan broke the silence and asked him if he wanted something to drink. The doctor was late and they had to wait for at least one more hour. “Water… Don’t have any other choice”. And they laughed! It was good to laugh! The other people in the waiting room watched them so badly it made them laughing even harder. God, life was really worth it for this kind of moments.   
The physiologist came later and apologized deeply for being so late. Dr. Alonso asked them if it didn’t bother them that she received them in the same time as they seemed to be so close. Both nodded. They already knew a lot about their mutual pathologies. And doing their physiotherapy in the same time was very funny. She brought them to her office and explained to them their reeducation plan.

Morgan needed to regain at least 85% of his hands ability to practise again. She was only at 40% after the surgery. She looked down and Neil would have sworn he saw tears rolled down her cheeks. But Morgan was the kind of person who didn’t want to show any of her emotions. So he didn’t even underline anything and chose to ask Dr. Alonso what was planned to allow Morgan to get her ability back. 

Dr. Alonso detailed all the process, the sessions, the exercices. She planned it would at least take 6 months for her to go back to medicine. But she will have to work hard even if sometimes, she will want to throw all away. “I told you that because many of my patients react this way…”

Morgan looked up and stared at her doctor in the eyes. “I’ll never give up. I’ve not done all of this to abandon because of my hands. Of course, I could never become the great surgeon I’ve always dreamt to be. But I can become the best doctor I think I can be.”

Dr. Alonso approved her state of mind, nodding and smiling. “Love your way of thinking. I’m feeling we’re gonna go very far together.” She took a deep breath and looked at Neil. It was his turn and he didn’t know if he was ready to hear what she had to tell him. 

“Dr. Melendez, your head injury is over and that’s a pretty good thing. Like your broken rib. Your latest digestive system surgery is a real success. So let’s now focus on your right leg and your left hand which have been pretty badly injured. The plasters have been removed some weeks away. Right now, they are your priorities.”

She detailed him all the process, the sessions, the different exercices. He will need at least six months to feel the differences and to be able to walk without his crutches. Most of the patients found their mobility at the latest one year after starting the physiotherapy. His hand mobility should take a little less time to recover. It was hard to hear this even if Neil had been knowing for sure it will take a lot of time… He couldn’t hide his disappointment. 

“I know it’s a lot to hear but I promise you, soon it will only be a nightmare you’ll be laughing about. For your first session, I’d like to test your ability to stay standing and to hold things with your left hand. And some other measures that will help me to adapt your training for the weeks to come.”

Neil nodded. He had to try, he had to be the actor of his change. At this moment, he remembered how Claire spent hours in the last weeks to explain to him it was impossible to live as before, because everything had changed and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had to learn to build a new life, a better one where his disability will make him stronger. 

Dr. Alonso brought them in her training room and placed Morgan and Neil in the same room but each one in a corner of the room. So they could be together but worked properly without talking too much. Dr. Alonso gave Morgan some instructions and left her alone to do the exercices. Then she came closer to Neil to monitor his ability to stay standing, the strength he had in each of his legs and hands. She noted all on a small pad and talked in a low voice. She asked him to do many other moves to test and appreciate his level of mobility. 

One hour later, the session was over. Morgan was exhausted. Her hands had not worked like that since she stopped working at Bonaventure. Neil asked her if she was good at driving. She nodded. “It’s not gonna stop me.” And she left him in the lobby just for her to get the car. 

“I hope you were still there.”

Claire was there in the lobby. Judging by how she was dressed, she was just out of surgery. And still she came to check on him. He smiled blissfully. 

“Everything went fine? I heard Dr. Alonso was really good. You’re a lucky man.”

Their eyes locked and for some moments they were only the two of them. 

“Dr. Melendez! Glad to see you. How are you?”

Park came from nowhere and interrupted the moment. Claire wished him a good day and made a reference only him could understand to make it clear they will keep talking about it when she’ll come home. He remained with Park talking, time for Morgan to arrive with the car. Park was happy to see Morgan again. She left the hospital after the surgery and didn’t answer his messages since. 

“Morgan… Glad to see you’re Ok…” He smiled at her, he was embarrassed, she was too. Neil could feel it. There were too many unsaid things between these two. He will talk to Morgan about it… Just not now, it was neither the place, nor the time. Park wished Neill all his best and hoped he’ll see him soon. Morgan looked down, told Park goodbye and fled to her car. Neil followed her. 

On the way back to his apartment, he would have loved to talk about what had just happened with Park. And he didn’t. He needed to dig a little more to know what had gone wrong between them. Maybe Claire knew more about them... He could ask her tonight… Morgan dropped him at home and took care of him for the rest of the day. But he felt she was not in the same mood as she was before. As Claire went back from the hospital, she left in a hurry. 

Claire and Neil spent the evening talking about his therapy. Several times, Neil tried to bring Park and Morgan in the middle of the talking but Claire was so thrilled talking about Dr. Alonso and her very good reputation that she eluded all of his questions… Or rather didn’t even pay attention to them. It didn’t mind, he liked when she was so passionate. 

As the night progressed, his leg suffered from being in the same position for hours but he didn’t want to stop Claire from discoursing about physiotherapy. She noticed he was ill at ease and understood he was hiding something from her. 

“You’re aching, aren’t you?”

He told nothing. She got it so easily. No need to lie, she’ll know. “Maybe a little... But please go on.”

“No way!” She got up and helped him to stand from his chair. Together, they walked up to his medical bed and he lay down. 

“Thank you for all you do for me, Claire…”

They were both embarrassed. She wanted to say something but she couldn’t. He wanted to continue his sentence but he was like paralyzed. Some minutes passed. Eyes to eyes. Not a word. Just the silence and them. Claire finally moved. As she was leaving the room, he stopped her. 

“Don’t really want to sleep… What if we keep talking here…”

She was in her pajamas and wanted to sleep. But she liked to spend time with Neil…

“Why not? “ She said with a smile. She sat on the edge of his large abandoned bed and continued to share her thoughts about physiotherapy and Dr. Alonso. Until he didn’t hear her anymore. She was lying on the bed, deeply asleep, cuddling the tartan rug which was on the bed for now years.


	13. Chapter 13 - Choices

Chapter 13 : Choices

Morgan arrived early in the morning at Neil’s apartment. She needed to clear her mind. Seeing Park yesterday made her remember many things she had dug deeply. At least she hoped to have done so. But it was not the case… She would have preferred she did. No matter what, this old situation was not gonna ruin her day. She had to focus on something else. 

As she opened the door, she saw the table was not cleared as always. It was weird. Claire always cleaned everything. She was not on the sofa either. No one had slept there last night. She started to freak out. What happened to her friend? As she entered Neil’s room, she found Claire in Neil’s big bed while he was sleeping in his medical bed. Their hands were almost touching in a very innocent way. Morgan smiled. They were really sharing something special. And the more time they spent together, the more the connection became obvious… Except for them who fought it so hard, it was ridiculous.

Morgan took some times to clear the table and clean the kitchen. Thanks to the physiotherapy, her hands were getting better and better. Dr. Alonso had made miracles in only one month. She couldn’t imagine what it will be like at the end of the sessions. Suddenly, her future seemed brighter. 

Claire woke up first. She was embarrassed to find Morgan in the kitchen while she was out of Neil’s room. “You’re here… Yesterday…”

“No need to justify, honey. I’ve made coffee if you want some. Been here very early… Should have warned you…”

Claire lowered her head. She hoped Morgan didn’t catch her sleeping in Neil’s bed. What was she going to think now? Nothing happened with Neil, nothing will ever happen... He was his friend, his attending and she couldn’t cross this line. She drank her coffee. She didn’t dare say a word.

“I know nothing happened, Claire… It’s clear you want to keep this friendship purely friendship. But think about being honest with yourself. I know I told you he was your attending… I just wanted to warn you… Because life is hard enough when you are a resident, and even more for a female resident… Even more when she has a tortuous relationship with an attending… But I also think that you only live once, and that finding someone you can’t live your life without is hard… Just think about it… I’ll always be there for you, you know that?”

Claire nodded. She was confused. She didn’t know what to think of her platonic friendship with Neil. Once, he almost dumped her because of a favoritism complaint. But he came back to her despite Lim’s warnings. And he never failed her again. And then all this craziness happened and she never left him. She couldn’t even imagine going anywhere. She might feel something more than platonic for Neil… But she was still a resident and it was out of the question that she ruined all her work for whatever it was. She went to prepare herself and went to the hospital. As she was leaving, Morgan was mixing food. 

Neil woke up later. His appointment with Andrews was only in the afternoon. And his next session with Dr. Alonso was tomorrow. He decided to take some time for him. Claire left earlier. She spent the whole night next to him. She was so exhausted. And sleeping in the coach was not a way to get her more rest. Maybe he should do something to fix this… He was interrupted in his thoughts by a voice he knew too much. 

“Good morning, sleepy beauty. Did you sleep well? Claire is gone to the hospital.”

She gave Neil his drugs and brought him his food. They talked about the afternoon appointment but Morgan stayed deliberately silent about what she saw when she arrived and what she had talked about with Claire. It was none of her business. And she already told Claire what she was thinking of the situation. And she was sure Neil was questioning himself a lot. She could see it in his dark eyes. 

He ate his breakfast. Morgan asked him about the intensity of his pain. He told her it had decreased since last week. The pain was unbearable at the beginning when the plasters were removed. He didn’t tell a word about it to Claire, she would have freaked out. And he made promise Morgan to remain quiet about this. By now, pain was less strong. Sometimes, he even forgot about it until he was standing. But he was improving he could feel it. 

In the afternoon, she drove him to his appointment with Andrews. They quickly talked about it. Melendez was scared something went wrong since the last appointment. He was always frightened when about it he went there, as if he could only imagine the worst when everything was improving. Morgan saw in his eyes he was not in a good place. 

“I can tell by the way you’re looking at the road that you’re not well. Everything’s gonna be fine. I don’t even understand why you’re scared about. Your body is improving. You can eat more and more food. I know mixed food sucks but you’re alive. You should see the bright side of this.” 

“You spend too much time with Claire, you start talking exactly like her”

They laughed. Claire was a very important person for both of them. Neil reminded of this little, tiny resident who had dared to go against him in the ER, only 6 months after she had arrived in Bonaventure. And she had proved she was right. She knew how to calm the most anxious patients, how to convince the most stubborn ones. He reminded of the moment she disobeyed him in the OR and he booted her out of his team. She had so much grown up in 4 years. And he liked the woman she had become: strong, sensitive and dedicated to her patients. 

Morgan will always feel guilty to have filed this favoritism complaint. She now understood she was jealous of Claire, of Neil, of their so special relationship. And now she knew she just wanted to have the same kind of relationship as her two friends based on equality, mutual respect and admiration. For now on, they didn’t come clear with their feelings. They were hiding behind the resident/ attending thing but time was ticking. Claire was about to choose her specialty. 

In less than a year, she will be an attending too and Morgan hoped her two friends will see things clearer at this time. She secretly hoped she would see clearer in her life because despite the fact that her hands were almost healed, her personal life was a disaster… And the conflict she had with Park a few months ago didn’t help her to see anything more distinctly. 

As always she dropped Neil next the entrance and went to park the car. On her way to the waiting room, she saw Park. She tried to hide but he already saw her. It would have seemed too suspect to give away. She answered as he waved at her. He came closer she didn’t like that. She was comfortable with this at all. 

“Hi Morgan… Twice in a few days. It’s an event… Oh that’s not what I wanted to say. Just wanted to say. I miss having you on my back … Claire and Shaun are cool but not as caustic as you...”

Morgan looked down. She didn’t know what to answer. She missed too being in Bonaventure, doing surgeries one after the others, hanging with the other surgeons and … arguing with Park. They were often on the same way of thinking but it was what made residency so exciting.

“Miss you too… Um… I mean…Miss the surgery and my residency. If you excuse me, I have to join Dr. Melendez. He’s meeting Dr. Andrews today for his last daily check-up.”

She almost ran to enter the hospital. She couldn’t believe she said this out loud. She wasn’t supposed to tell him a word. Their last talking had been so harsh. She needed to focus on Neil. Today was a great day for him. As she reached the waiting room, Neil was not there anymore. The secretary confirmed her Dr. Andrews welcomed him in his office just minutes ago. “You want me to knock for you” Morgan nodded her head. “No, it’s fine. I’m gonna wait here” as she was pointing to the waiting room. 

Neil was anxious as he saw Andrews appeared. He was alone. Morgan had not parked the car yet and Claire was in surgery for the whole day. She tried to make her available for this appointment but didn’t manage to free her schedule. She worked as hell since almost 6 months. Bonaventure lacked two surgeons and the direction didn’t want to replace them even temporarily. 

“Good afternoon, Neil. Ready for your last daily check-up?”

Andrews was excited. Neil could tell it by the tone of his voice. He was not. Actually, he was a little but he was afraid of a bad news to be completely excited. He followed Andrews to his office. He walked faster and faster with his crutches. Dr. Alonso told him two days ago he could remove them and walk by his own… Very carefully of course and not for a long time to begin with. As he sat in front of his friend and colleague, Marcus Andrews, he had a knot in his stomach. 

“Neil, I’ve just received your lastest tests. And they are excellent. Your recovery is impressive. I just would like to check on the device to be sure.”

He let Andrews do all the checks he needed. He finally let a small smile escape. “You can smile Neil. You’ve been through hell but you‘ve made it. The device is perfectly integrated to your digestive system. How are things with food?”

“Better and better. Actually, I ate kiwis and bananas in my smoothie this morning. I’ve not eaten one of them since…”

He stopped before finishing his sentence. It was still painful to remember his time when he could eat all he liked when he wanted. 

“It will come back, Neil. Give your body some times to process, to adapt, to progress. Human body can do magical things. You have witnessed some of them. Let the time to your body to process its magic. I know it won’t be immediate but it will come. You need to be patient.”

Neil smiled to him. He knew he was right. His body needed time to heal, to adapt. But how to live as before when everything was different? That was when he heard Claire whispering in his hear that nothing could ever be the same, that he was in the edge of a new life and he had to live life to the fullest. From now on, he had to take this advice seriously. 

“Can I ask for something?”

“Of course. After all you did for me, that’s the least I can do.”

“I would like to write an essay about your clinical trial. Would you agree? Of course, I’d like to include you and your name to this article. To talk about this surgery and show to people living with an ostomy bag they have an alternative. And maybe to generalize the procedure in the country and why not in the world? What do you think?”

“It would be an honor.”

“One other thing… If you’re feeling ready, you can come back to work only part time and just as a consultant when the first part of your physiotherapy will be over.”

“I’ll be happy to!”

He thanks Andrews for all his work. “Thanks, but I’m not the only one to thank. You were pretty good too… Like your dear friend, Claire…”

Neil lowered his head for Andrews not to see the smile on his face. As he left Andrews’ office, he saw Morgan sitting in the waiting room. She seemed puzzled and upset. Something must have happened while he was released from one of his heaviest burdens.


	14. Chater 14 - Confession

Chapter 14: Confession

As they were on their way to Neil’s apartment, Morgan was still worried. He talked to her about what Marcus told him. The device was a real success and he proposed to him to get back to work as a consultant after his physiotherapy. She was listening to him and in the same time, he knew she was not really here and she had no idea what he was saying.   
“And then he asked me to jump from the window. So did I and here I am.”

“Wonderful!”

Her answer confirmed what he was thinking. He pressed her arm to get her out of her reverie. “What happened? You seem disturbed.”

Morgan turned her head. “Sorry, I was lost in my mind. Did everything go well with Andrews?”

“Perfect. I can believe it… The device is really working. I had to be checked every month for a couple of months. And then every other month, if everything is ok. And last but least, he offered me to come back as a consultant after my physiotherapy is over.”

At this precise moment, Morgan felt happy for her friend but also very sad for her. What was she gonna do when he’ll be back to the hospital? She’ll be alone again. Claire will be all focused on her specialty and graduation. Neil will be dedicated to his new job as a consultant. She didn’t really talk to Park anymore because of their last fight. 

“Morgan, are you alright? You’ve just missed the road and engage to the highway. Not that I’d like to see the beach but today it’s raining. It’s not the best moment to enjoy the sea”. 

“Sorry... Was lost in my thoughts… Got a lot in my mind today.” She gave him a faint smile. 

“You know you can talk to me, tell me if I did anything wrong.”

She nodded. “Just overwhelmed. Will be better in a few hours, give me just a few hours to process it.”

Neil stopped asking her questions and looked by the window. They came to his apartment and Morgan helped him to get comfortable in the sofa. Claire’s stuff was still in one of the corner of the sofa. Her books, her pad even her hairbrush. He smiled. Claire was a good doctor for sure, but she was really not a good lady of the house. Too much messy. And she was not a masterchief. Last evening, she burnt the pasta she was cooking. Instead she ordered pizza. Even if the kitchen smelled burning for hours because of that, all he could remember was their giggles. 

As the day passed, Morgan was less and less annoyed. Neil decided it was time to talk to her. 

“I’m sorry for earlier, Morgan. I just wanted to help you… You’re really weird since last time you saw Park… Just tell me if something went wrong. I’m your friend, tell me if I can do something.”

She remained quiet for a while. Neil could see she was debating with herself. At one moment, she sat next to him in the sofa. “You promise not to tell a word about this to anyone including Claire?”

Neil agreed with his head. 

“Park and I had a violent clash about a patient before I was operated. He was sure he was suffering from kidney stones, I was sure he was simulating and just wanted drugs. We argue for hours over this case… Then the talking took another watershed… from medicine, it became more personal and he told me I was too mean and heartless while I could be more sensitive. That for maybe once in my life, I could demonstrate some empathy…”

She stopped here. Neil finally got some information about Morgan and Park’s awkwardness of the other day. But he knew she was hiding more. It will take some times before she told him the truth but she needed to do it to get better. 

“… And now you told me Andrews wants to hire you as a consultant. And I’m thinking about my not so bright future. And it kills me…”

As she was finishing her sentence, tears rolled down Morgan’s cheeks. Neil put his hand over hers. 

“You’re not alone in this. I’ll always be there to help you. You helped me to get through this nightmare. I won’t let you down.”

She raised her head. She found a great friend in Neil Melendez. Six months ago, they barely talked and now she was in the middle of his living room crying over her future and her argue with Park. She was not anymore the woman she used to be. Her broken fate as a surgeon had acted like a rebirth for her and she wanted to do better this time. No more jealousy, no more arguing, no anger. This night, she left Neil’s apartment and promised to herself she will start to work on her future from tomorrow. 

Morgan was gone for less than thirty minutes when Claire came from the hospital. She was exhausted. She was holding a lot of papers in her hands and almost made them fall on the floor. She dropped them on the kitchen table before she made another mistake. 

“Hard day?”

She jumped as she heard the voice coming from the sofa.

“Thought you were resting. How was your appointment with Andrews? Is everything OK? Sorry I couldn’t be there but I was in the OR non-stop for 8 hours and after I needed to fill the patients’ files and...”

“No need to apologize. You had a lot to do, I know. I’m glad to announce you, I’m cleared!”

“For real? Like for real?” Claire had tears in her eyes. “That’s huge.”

At this precise, she would have liked to hug Neil, put her arms around him. But she restrained herself. He was still his attending and she needed to focus on her residency which ended in only one year. And she changed the subject. 

“I’ve ordered some Italian food for tonight. You’re eating a minestrone tonight while I’ll be eating pasta!”

He seems puzzled that she changed the subject so quickly. “Great! But will kill for some sushi right now!”

They laughed. He knew how to soften intense, awkward moments. “And what are all these papers you take with you?”

“My specialty application file… I delay it for a long while… But I have no other choice to do it tonight, the deadline is tomorrow morning… And I was wondering if you could help to clear my mind. I reduce my choice to three fields but I don’t know which one to choose over the others.”

“I’d like to help you seeing clearer in all of this but it has to remain your choice. I can listen to you and give you some advice but this choice will forge all your career. And it’s all yours.”

“I just need you to clear some ideas I had in my mind for months now. I really trauma, neuro and cardiothoracic surgery. I really imagine me in one of these fields but I can determine which one. Trauma is the real action takes place, neuro is very precise and requires seriousness and cardiothoracic is where I spend more time during my residency. So this is the field I know the best. It’s kind of reassuring…”

“It’s not so hard Claire. Where do you imagine you in 5, 10, 20 years? You have to follow your heart. What motivates you the most? What gives you the strength to get up in the morning? Why are you the most excited by?”

“In this case, I eliminate neuro... I like it but surgeries are not exhilarating enough for me. I need to be in the rush, to be challenged. So one less, two left and only one to choose.”

Neil looked at her. She was drowning into her papers. For a moment, he thought she was so pretty even with her disheveled hair and shadows under her eyes. Then he stopped. It was not an appropriate way to think of his resident. He was his attending, his mentor and he had no right to feel like that, to look at her that way. He had to push these ideas away, very far away. And it started with him eating his minestrone! Food was just delivered. Perfect timing! 

“Neil, what are thinking?”

“Sorry?”

“I think I’m gonna choose trauma… Sorry for you… I love all you taught me in cardiothoracic surgery, I really do. But I need something that stimulates me… I think I realize this was what I’d like to do when I was sent to the ground after the earthquake. In trauma, you need to think quickly and smartly, be the one who find a solution when no one can, be proactive. I love helping people and I think this is the best way I can find to do so.”

“Think we have a winner… To be fair, this was the field I‘d have chosen for you first. But I couldn’t tell you… Until now because you decided it on your own.”

So this was it. She was gonna be “Claire Browne, Trauma surgeon”. She finally did it. In less than one year, she’ll be a full-time attending at Bonaventure or anywhere else. Who knows? She didn’t know if Bonaventure will recruit after the end of her residency. There were only a few places. She’d rather stay careful and consider the rest of her career was in a different place… Away from Neil. And this part was the worst to consider… 

“And you, how do you choose to become a doctor in the first and to choose cardiothoracic surgeon?”

Neil was surprised by her question. He didn’t know where to start. He never told anyone about it… He was still confused about it himself. Claire looked at him. He was so uncomfortable.   
“If you don’t want to tell me, I’ll understand.”

She smiled at him. And at this moment, he knew that she was the only person he could tell this story which still broke his heart now…

“Long story…. Hope you have some time to waste… I never told anyone about this. I’ve hidden this part of me because it scared me, because it so deeply attached to my past that I’d like to make it disappear. But I can’t because as well as I would like to be freed from it, it also has been what had built the person I am now. My parents never accepted I gave away faith to focus on medicine… But I needed answers. My whole childhood I heard my parents wondering why God had given them such a burden. I had not understood right away. I was young. And then all made sense when I was 16. All these hours they prayed for erasing their burden. They were talking about my lil sister, Gabbi. I don’t think I ever talked to you about her…”

He paused. She smiled at him while nodding. He had never mentioned her, he never told her something so personal. She felt both flattered and moved by what he was doing. She knew bad family story too well…

“Gabbi is amazing, she loves life, butterflies and puzzles. But she’s…” He paused again. His voice broke. She put her hand over his. “Disabled… She was born with brain damages and she’ll always be 7 years old in her head. My parents never truly accepted her. Of course, they always took care of her. She was loved, well-dressed, she ate well. But they could never overpass the fact she was disabled. They raised her well. But they never understood why God had given them a daughter like this. And all I could think about was how God had given them a funny, great daughter but they blamed Him because she was not normal, as they used to say.”

Neil couldn’t stop tears coming in his eyes and rolling down his cheeks. Claire pressed his hand harder. She was here no matter what. 

“I love my sister. I really do. She is the most important person in my life. She always has been and always will be. She gives me strength. This is for her that I’ve got into medicine. So I can find a way to save her. It’s crazy when you think about all this story. I could never cure her. But I was an idealistic young man, full of passion and hope for his young sister…. Cardiothoracic came later. I can’t explain, I just felt it was the path I needed to follow. And here I am.” 

Claire remained silent and looked at him in the eyes, not saying a word, not ruining this moment which brought them closer then before whatever they could say.


	15. Chapter 15 - End of an area

Chapter 15: End of an era

End of physiotherapy was near. Neil and Morgan couldn’t believe it was almost 6 months that they had started physiotherapy with Dr. Alonso. This woman literally changed their life. Morgan was able to do more and more things with her hands. Neil was able to walk by his own. He didn’t use his crutches for 4 days and he felt so free. 

Dr. Alonso welcomed them with a big smile. “Ready for your last session?”

Neil and Morgan placed in their own spot and started doing their moves. After 6 months of practice, they knew them by heart. She grabbed the weighs and raised them above her head. She could have never imagined doing this 6 months earlier. What seemed so impossible at that time was so easy now. Of course, her hands will never operate again but they will heal.

She had just taken an interview for a position in a local clinic near San Jose a few days ago. This morning, the director called to tell her the place was all yours. She agreed to join the staff. It was not very well-paid compared to her position in Bonaventure but she could be a doctor again. And it was all that mattered to her! 

Neil took place on the stationary walking rails and started going back and forth. His right leg was very strong now. His left hand was still a little shaky and he suffered when he leant on it. His old fracture healed but he still had sequels which prevented him from holding things tight. That was what he feared the most. What will happen if he couldn’t find his sensations again? What if his hand never stopped shaking? For one moment, he panicked. 

“You’re panicking again! Stop thinking this way and focus on the positive!”

Morgan interrupted his dark thoughts. The more time she was spending with Claire, the more she was becoming wise. And the more she could read him and he was kind of crazy. He smiled.   
“How do you know I’m freaking out?”

“Claire told me to be careful to your eyes. The darker they become, the more your mood is low. So stop thinking about bad things, you’re not gonna make it, push all your dark ideas far away and focus on your job waiting for you.”

Dr. Alonso joined them. It was time for her to evaluate them both. She started with Morgan and measured the strength in both her hands. She asked her to throw balls, to grab them, to pull on a rope and to stretch devices. As soon as she was over with Morgan, she came next to Neil. “Your turn now ! Let’s see what you can do with this leg and hand!” 

Neil listened to Dr. Alonso. She asked him to walk with his two hands on the stationary walking rails, then to do the same with only his left hand, then only his right hand and finally without any hand. She asked him to punch in a bag with both hands, to pull, to press, to grab some devices. And after all of this, she simply left the room and told them to keep working. Morgan and Neil looked at each other puzzled, perplexed. 

Half an hour later, she came back and told them to meet them in her office. Time to know if they were cleared. Despite being confident for weeks, at this precise moment, they were both stressed and anxious. Their future went on now and they didn’t know if they were ready. 

As they entered the office, they shared a last look and sat each other on a chair. Both were anxious. Dr. Alonso could feel the tension in the room and chose to make a joke to relax her two patients. “No need to worry about your results, I have already told you everything was really going great last month. And I won’t tell you otherwise now. After almost 7 months of physiotherapy, you are free to go. I don’t want to see you around. Do you hear me?”

So many ideas rushed in Neil’s head right now. He was happy to be finally healed, he was also scared to come back to daily life and he was confused when it came to say what was gonna be his life about. Morgan was more confident. Tears rolled down her cheeks. But this time, it was tears of joy. She knew that tonight she needed to tell Claire and Neil she got a new job and will soon leave her position as Neil’s nurse and integrate Santa Clara’s clinic. 

They both thanked Dr. Alonso for her hard job and went out of the office as new people. Their rehabilitation was over. It took them 7 months to recover but they did it. Either of them didn’t know what to say, what to do. They were overwhelmed with emotions right now. 

“Neil? Morgan?”

They both turned back. It was Claire. “I have some times before going back to surgery. So I come back to know what Dr. Alonso said. Is it Ok? Are you alright? What did she say?”  
Morgan and Neil shared a conniving look. Claire was hopping up and down with impatience. She needed to know, she had to know. “You can go and operate peacefully, Claire. We are both released. Physiotherapy is over.”

At that moment, Claire literally jumped with joy. Neil could see tears rolling down her cheeks. She threw in Morgan’s arms and hugged the person who had become her best friend in the last months. Morgan was still surprised to receive so much love. But she couldn’t hide how happy she was right now. She was not alone anymore. As Claire freed her from her hug, she realized how much her life had changed in less than a year, 10 months to be exact. 

This was at this moment, she witnessed her friend throwing into Neil’s arms and hugged me so hard, as if her life depended on it. She could see her friends hugging in the lobby of the hospital and she was so glad for them. For at least a moment, they let their feelings supplant their reason. When they separate, she saw both their cheeks blushing. They were embarrassed, stumbling on words. It was funny to see. It reminded her of her teenage years when she had a big crush on Tony, the captain of the football team and neither of them knew how to tell the truth to each other. 

On their way back to the car, she could have bet she saw him smiling all way long. She didn’t say a word. She would have loved to but it was not to her to say anything. They will figure out later what she had been seeing from the beginning. 

“You didn’t turn on the right lane?”

“I know ! But I know what I do this time. Just trust me.“

She brought them to the beach. He was pleasantly surprised. 

“As we’ve been through hell for almost one year, I told myself it could be a good idea to take our afternoon off and enjoy the free air of the sea and the beach.”

The afternoon went well. They sat in the sand and talked about the way they got through since they had been operated, their new lives and their disabilities. He thanked her for helping him getting through this nightmare. She had given him a lot of great advice and he could never forget that. They ate ice creams and came to Neil’s apartment late in the evening. Claire was already back from the hospital and seated at the kitchen table working on her files. 

“Hanging on the streets now you’re both healthy?”

They laughed. 

“Morgan took me to the beach to celebrate the end of our physiotherapy.”

“Great idea! Hope you had fun! I let some food in the fridge if you’re hungry! I’m gonna abandon you. Day had been pretty intense and I really need to sleep.”

As she was about to join the sofa to lie down, Morgan asked them to stay in the kitchen. “I have something very important to tell you. I wanted to tell you earlier. But I really wanted you two to be there when I’ll do it.”

Claire and Neil shared a look. They were intrigued and scared of what was gonna happen. Claire broke the silence as Morgan was looking down. “Everything’s alright?”

“Oh yes… I’m fine. Don’t worry about that. It’s just that I have something to tell you… Weeks ago, I applied to a job in a clinic in Santa Clara. I met them last week. They recently called me back to tell me that they hired me. I’ve got the job. I don’t know how but I did. But that means I can take care of Neil anymore… And I didn’t know how to tell you all that… I’m starting next Monday.”

Claire looked at her in the eyes. She was so happy for her friend! She finally found her path and a way to practice medicine. “I’m so glad for you!”

“Me too, Morgan. That’s really huge! And don’t worry for me! I can take care of myself now. You did enough. You need to live your life now and start your new career. I’m very proud of you, really.”

“It’s not so huge… I’ll be their GP and I’ll receive families who can’t afford to go to the hospital. Won’t earn as many as in Bonaventure but that’s a start.”

Claire and Neil congratulated Morgan and encouraged her to follow this new way. They were sure she’ll finally find what she really wanted to do. This night, Morgan left Neil’s apartment with a lighter heart. She was just sad not to know when she’ll see her friends anymore. 

Claire and Neil stayed in the kitchen for a while. As they were happy for their friend, they were also sad they were not gonna see as often as they used to. It was as that moment too that Claire realized she will have to move soon. Neil will soon reintegrate Bonaventure and she couldn’t live here anymore. Her heart broke a little but she tried to hide it. 

“Hell of a day… I think I’m gonna go to bed… Goodnight Neil.”

As she was heading to the sofa, he stopped her. They were so close, they were both uncomfortable. He stumbled on his words.

“Hum… As it is my last night with the medical bed, you may enjoy the bed…I want to say, it’s better for your back... You say the other day, your back was hurting and…” 

“If you’re OK with it… I’m OK…”

As this precise moment, Claire asked herself why she had said this out loud. To avoid more uneasiness, she took her pillow and went her way to the big bed and hide under the sheet. Neil came and lay down in his medical bed. He could feel they were both embarrassed and joked to relax the atmosphere.

I promise you, tomorrow, this bed is all mine!”

She let her head get out of the quilt and laughed. Hearing her giggles made him eased off on the pressure of the last minutes. Then silence again…

“You scared me, you know that. Do not ever do this again. I won’t survive this. I lost too many people who matters to me... My mom Breeze, my best friend Kayla, my former lovers… First Jared who left San Jose in a hurry, then Kane who died in Bonaventure under my supervision. I don’t want to lose anyone else. I can’t lose anyone else. I won’t handle it this time. You saved me when I was in a pretty bad place. You show me that life was worth it. You’ve leant me to be myself again. And for this, I’ll always be grateful to you. I don’t know where I’d be if you have not been here…”

“Glad to have been there for you. I was just in the right place at the right time. That was all you. You’re gonna be OK, Claire.”

While saying these words, he had an impression of déjà-vu. He couldn’t say why. It was as if this scene had already happened. Except it hadn’t. Really weird. 

“Goodnight Claire.” 

“Goodnight, Neil”. 

Their looks locked for a moment until Claire closed her eyes because she was too tired to stay awake. 

Neil’s last thoughts before falling asleep was about his new first day at Bonaventure…


	16. Chapter 16 - New Beginning

Chapter 16: new beginning

On Monday, when he entered Bonaventure, Neil both felt as he was home and in the same as he was the new student coming into class months after the beginning of school. He knew this place by heart even if he didn’t practice medicine for more than 10 months now. 

A lot of things had changed since he last left this place. All his residents had now chosen their own specialties and new ones were running in the corridors of the hospital. As he was waiting in the lobby, he was welcomed by Marcus. 

“Glad to see you here, Neil!”

“Me too… The place is still the same, at least almost.”

“Almost, as you say. New residents arrived three months ago. And your old residents have all chosen their specialty. In 9 months, they will be real doctors. Time flies, doesn’t it?”

Neil remembered when he first saw Shaun, Morgan, Park and of course Claire for the first time. Innocent, students with so much conviction and hope in their eyes. He remembered how he misjudged Shaun, how he thought he’ll never succeed and will give up before the end of the first year, how he undermined his residency before he could ever start it. He still felt guilty about his behavior till this day. Shaun was one of the most impressive brains he ever met. This kid was the future medicine and he was honored when Claire told him he had chosen to specialize in cardiothoracic surgery. He had so much to learn to and from him! 

Andrews came with Neil to the HR so he could take a new badge. He was so proud to pin this little card to his blazer. He was a doctor again! For the moment, he had no right to operate as he was told by the HR manager but he could work on any case he wanted. Dr. Andrews will supervise him at first. And as soon as his left hand was cleared, he could go back to the OR. Dr. Alonso gave her prognostic back. She believed his left hand will stop shaking and recover in 5 or 6 months at max. 

Andrews led him to his office. Neil felt better right away. He was glad to see his old office where he spent so much time alone, with his colleagues and friends, his residents. He looked at the furniture, the balcony. Everything was there, in order… And then he looked at the library and the books were not tidied correctly. He gave a faint smile. It was Claire’s fault if the books were not anymore in alphabetical order. She took some of them to work on a case when he was hospitalized. 

“I leave you alone to take your mark again, be back in one hour. I’ve to check on some of my patients.”

Neil remained alone in his office looking at these walls, pieces of furniture and prizes he had missed so much. From his chair, he could see all that was happening in the corridor through the big glass doors. He saw Claire running to the OR. She didn’t even see him. It was funny to see her like that. She was still the soft touch she had been 4 years ago but she was also more determined, more mature. She was becoming a fully-fledged doctor. She was not the young and idealist intern he met 4 and a half years ago. 

He also saw Shaun, always so focused, lost in his mind, trying to visualize each part of his next surgery. Park was more practical, rational. It was not surprising he chose neurosurgery. It was also weird not to see Morgan. He sent her a text this morning to get news from her new job. She hadn’t answered yet. She was probably too busy. 

For a moment, he enjoyed the calm surrounding him. He was used to it now. And getting back to work meant more noise, more people around him. He kind of panicked a little. He loved his job of course but the break the earthquake imposed him for almost one year learned him to enjoy the simple pleasure of life. 

“So this is where you’re hiding?”

It was Audrey. He smiled his oldest friend. They used to be more two years ago. It worked at first till she understood they didn’t want the same type of life. She wanted to focus on her career only, no matter what and he wanted to embrace life. He liked being a surgeon but it was not as important as it was in Audrey’s life. She ended things with class before it was too late and he’ll always be grateful to her for this. 

“Glad you’re back. Not too complicated to find your feet again?”

She knew him really well. They knew since college. They became friends and rivals in anatomy class. She was his classmate and they often did their class works together. They quickly became best friends and they finally got hired at Bonaventure at the same time. And they never left. Audrey never hid her desire to run the hospital or at least one of its services. Today she was the chief of surgery and she deserved it. 

“Not easy to come back after almost one year of break. It has taught me that there are more important things that my career in life. I do love my job but I want more…”

She smiled. She knew what he was talking about. It was the reason they could never be a real couple. He wanted to have a family, to enjoy life and to put his career aside from time to time.   
“I know what you want to say. You always wanted more. Maybe this earthquake helped you to see things more clearly and to re-evaluate your priorities.”

She remained silent for a while, looking at him. He was thinking, he was lost in his mind. And she had her little ideas when it came to know what he was thinking about. “Got to go. My patients are waiting for me. I’ve got two surgeries scheduled this afternoon. Claire will assist me. You know she chose trauma… You do know that, don’t you?”

She gave him a crooked smile. She did know he knew what specialty Claire had chosen. But he didn’t confirm it. He didn’t know what to say. He was unable to define his relationship with Claire Browne and it puzzled him. She was her friend for sure but he also knew that deep down she was more than that and it disturbed him… Because he couldn’t feel like that for one of his residents. Audrey left the room before he could say her goodbye. 

He remained a while motionless. What Audrey told him shook him. She did know him really well. She was not her best friend for nothing. Andrews suddenly entered the office. “Ready to get in action? I’ve got a case for you!” Neil jumped from his chair. His leg was more and more cooperative, not like his hand which shook because he just leant on the office with it. “On my way!”  
As they reached Mr. Odom’s room, he saw Shaun at the end of the corridor. He was still the same. This kid was a genius and he wasn’t even aware of it. 

“Good morning Shaun”

“Good morning, Dr. Melendez. I heard you were back. Claire told me this morning. She was smiling. So I asked her why she was smiling and she told me nothing. But I knew it was not the truth. She always touches her right ear when she’s lying. And she finally admitted you were coming back.”

Neil was blushing. Andrews let slip a laugh. Neil looked at him and he became serious again. They came in Mr. Odom’s room. He was fully awake reading his newspaper. “Three doctors just for me, I have the impression of being a star!”

“Mr. Odom, I present you Dr. Murphy who will lead your surgery and Dr. Melendez who’s here to help us to see clearer about your case. Shaun, I let you present the case.”

“Mr. Odom, 48-year old man. He’s suffering from severe stomach ache for 6 months. This is weird because he has nothing to his stomach. I’ve checked his X-Ray and echography. Are you sure your stomach aches?”

Mr. Odom laughed. He confirmed he was suffering from violent stomach aches. They were coming back and forth but since the last 3 weeks, it was getting worse. As he was speaking, he vomited a part of his lunch. And then he apologized for the inconvenience. 

“Is this happening often?” Neil asked. 

“More and more often. Especially the last three weeks. As soon as I laugh, eat or cough, I vomit... This is really embarrassing. Is this any relevant?”

Neil nodded. It was a lead he couldn’t let down. He looked at Shaun, he was already analyzing this new piece of information with his super brain. The three men promised Mr. Odom to come back with an answer and left the room. For the whole afternoon, Neil and Shaun stayed locked in Neil’s office looking for an answer. Shaun wrote on the board all the great ideas he had in minds after having exposed them to Neil out loud. 

Neil appreciated to be back at work. Of course, there was noise everywhere but he had the impression to live again. He was barely here for 5 hours that Shaun was already challenging him. Neil refuted some of his theories he had just defended passionately. Shaun counterattacked. He didn’t like to be contradicted. But it was like this that he’ll become an even greater doctor.

Andrews joined them hours later. They left the hospital after their shift with still no answer and a lot of theories to check the day after. Neil checked his phone. One missed call. He got some distance to answer. As he hung up, he joined Shaun and Marcus who were discussing over Mr. Odom’s case. They took separate ways at the main entrance of the hospital. You two have a good night.”

Neil sat on the bench in front of the hospital. Claire finished her shift at 7PM. She will be there any minute. She was his driver. While his left hand was still shaking, Dr. Alonso forbade him to take his car. Claire joined him 10 minutes later. 

“Sorry, I’ve to check on a patient at the last minute and she’s kind of talkative. I go and get the car or you can walk to the car?”

Neil followed her to the car. Walking was not a problem anymore. He was very a lucky man. Ten months ago, he didn’t believe any of his doctors when they had told him everything will be fine. He just had to believe and worked hard. And here he was. “Doctors make the worst patients”, he told once to Claire when she confessed she was seeing a psy to help to get through the loss of her mother. 

“Ready to go? “ Neil nodded and got in the car. As she was driving, Claire was always focused on the road. She had an accident when she was just twenty and it marked her forever. Nothing grave but she could remember she was talking with her friend when it had happened and she was not looking at the road. Neil stayed silent not to break her concentration. “You do know that you can talk? I’m just not really answering or looking at you. But you can tell me how your day had gone! It’s so weird hearing no noise in this car.”

He laughed and told him about his first day: the meeting with the HR, Mr. Odom’s case, meeting the new residents, Shaun’s preciseness with the diagnosis and the way he hated to be contradicted. She laughed. Oh God she knew how much he hated to be refuted. She often bore the consequences of this. 

As they arrived to the apartment, Neil got more and more excited. He couldn’t hide it. “What are you hiding from me? Why are you smiling like a 14-year-old boy?”

She giggled. One of his favorite sounds. “Open the door and you’ll see.” She frowned and put the key in the lock. She entered the apartment and noticed her stuff was not on the sofa anymore. For a moment, she panicked. “You’re kicking me out of your apartment?”

He could see she was frightened. It was not what he intended to do. “No… Of course not… Be more careful.” He was stumbling on his own words and led her to his office. “I made you a real bedroom… You know to avoid all your back aches…”

She was surprised, speechless. He literally offered her a room, only for her. She could see all her stuff put in a corner of the room, waiting to be tidied. And she didn’t know how to feel about this. “You turned your office into a bedroom…. For me?! I don’t know what to say. This is…. The nicest thing anyone ever did for me… Really.”

Their eyes locked for a minute. Their hands brushed. Their hearts raced. Time stopped. 

“Is it not weird we‘re still living together while you came back to Bonaventure?” Claire asked as a way to escape from what she was feeling right now. Neil was flustered at the moment, not knowing what to answer, what to do, what to feel. 

“No .. maybe… No… We’re roommates. And we both know coming home to an empty apartment really sucks…”

She didn’t know what to say so she took his hand and shook it. She knew she had to let it go. A hand shake didn’t take this long but she enjoyed one more second, her skin against his. It was a deal. They were not only friends, they were also roommates now.


	17. Chapter 17 - Revelations

Chapter 17 : Revelations

This morning, Neil was in a hurry. Mr. Odom’s case enthralled him. He was totally dedicated to it and spent hours to make researches about his symptoms. Even out of his work hours. He allowed him not to overthink about what happened with Claire a few nights ago. When he showed him the bedroom he had made done for her, he had felt this connection everyone was talking about him and Claire. He didn’t know how to call it: Complicity? Collusion? Chemistry? He’d rather not think about it…

He ate his breakfast. Claire was still sleeping. She finished her shift very late last night and was off today and tomorrow. Since this awkward moment, neither of them had really talked. He took refuge in Mr. Odom’s case. She didn’t count her hours in Bonaventure. She was Audrey’s loyal assistant. He smiled and thought of these two women. He was lucky to have them in his life. Audrey was his best friend, his confident, his advisor, sometimes his conscience. Claire was more like his soul, the person who understood him and made him confront the ghosts of his past, the one who made him evolve, grow up…

He left a note on the kitchen table, took his stuff and closed the door. Andrews was waiting for him in his car. 

“Thanks for picking me up.”

“Glad you asked! I’m way better than a cab!”

Marcus and Neil enjoyed the ride together and talked about music, restaurants and books. Marcus encouraged Neil to take tickets to go to see some jazz bands and some festival next summer. After what he had been through, he really needed to refresh his head and take a fresh start. He could help him to find ideas to go out, to meet new people or to bring some people out. Andrews didn’t tell her name but Neil understood right away who he was talking about. 

He knew about Claire. He knew she was more than a friend, he knew she was an important part of his life. He gave him a faint smile. “Maybe later for going out, for the moment, I’m gonna start slowly and take some nights out… Nothing crazy just some small gigs or stand ups.”

“That’s a very good start!” Marcus was enthusiastic. “Maybe you should take some times for yourself and do something you really care about. I don’t know writing, singing, even fishing if it’s what you like!”

Neil laughed. It was good to have a friend like Marcus who was always in a good mood. Even if life was hard on him. He tried for years to have kids with his wife, they never succeeded. He knew he was one of the biggest disappointments in Marcus’ life but it turned it into a strength. And for that, Neil was impressed. And he made him relativize about his own life and problems. 

The day spent so quickly. He met once again with Mr. Odom and talked a lot with him. He wanted to understand his symptoms. The better he knew about, the surer will be his diagnosis. On his way back to his office, he saw Shaun. He was in a hurry, he was just in time for his next surgery. And he was pretty excited – in his unique way – because it was the first time he’ll perform a sternotomy. “Be sure to pay attention to cut very precisely not to cut the mediastinum and ..”

Shaun didn’t let the time to finish. “I know what I have to do. I read all the studies and the articles about it last night. But thank you”. And he vanished at the end of the corridor to join the OR. This kid was destabilizing but in a good way. He gave a fainted smile and went to his office where he spent the rest of the day. 

As he went home, he found Claire on the kitchen. She was cooking. Or at least, she was trying to. “Oh you’re here. I’m making a pie… At least, I’m trying… Cooking is not my best skill. And I’ve made you some tomato soup with beef ! Morgan gives me the recipe.”

They shared their dinner. Neil talked to Claire about Mr. Odom, Claire talked about her latest surgery with Audrey and how she let her resect the small intestine after they found clots in it. “It was exhilarating! I’ve never done this before, Dr. Lim let me do the whole surgery on my own. I was like… The attending!”  
“You almost are. Just a few months before graduating. You must be so excited.”

“Of course I am…” And her voice broke. She didn’t know what to answer. Of course she was glad to be a doctor for real, to practice on her own. But she was panicked to the idea of leaving Bonaventure, of losing all she had known for the last 5 years… And obviously to leave Neil who had become the most important person in her life. She got up and cleaned the dishes. She wanted to clear her mind and at that moment, cleaning the dishes was the best idea she had to do so. 

“Do you need any help?” Claire told him no with her head. She could do this alone. “Gonna go to bed early tonight so. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow… Goodnight Claire.”

“Goodnight Neil.”

Next day, Andrews came to pick up Neil. Claire was still off shift. And to be fair, he was glad not to meet her in the morning. The end of yesterday night had been really weird. They were talking about her graduation and then she closed, locked in silence. Even if thirty seconds earlier, everything was OK. She must have thought about something which upset her and she preferred not to say a word. He knew the feeling. He used to feel this way too…

“You’re very meditative this morning.”

“Didn’t sleep tight last night. Heard some weird noise and I was thinking about Mr. Odom.”

They made their way to the hospital. Neil went to his office, Shaun joined him later and they spent hours to compare their ideas. One was very promising, they just needed to check if it was the good one. 

“Murphy, take Mr. Odom to ultrasound and confirm our diagnostic. If it is really a hiatal hernia, we’ll need blood tests too and an ECG. Could you take care of all that?”  
“Of course I can. I know where all the exams rooms are in the hospital because I work here for 4 and a half years. And I also know what kind of exams I have to do before a surgery. You already learnt me that when you were my attending during my residency.”

“Perfect, Shaun. Could you just give me the information as soon as you get it? I’d like to inform Mr. Odom myself.”

“OK.”

He looked at him walking away in the corridor and thought about something crazy. He just needed to confirm his crazy theory and to talk with Dr. Alonso. He dialed her number on his phone and left her a message, asking for her to call him back as soon as she got his message.

Andrews came later to ask him if he wanted to eat something. It was already 2 PM. “With pleasure.” The two men went to the cafeteria and bought some food. They sat at a table and exchanged about Neil’s device. It was the perfect time to talk about the article Marcus wanted to write. They agreed to mention both their names in it and to explain every tiny detail of the procedure. Neil was still a little ashamed to be “not like the others” but he was also so grateful to Marcus to have found this solution. Unless he could be in a hospital bed waiting for a hypothetical liver transplantation. 

Shaun came back to Neil’s office in the afternoon. The diagnosis was confirmed. Neil asked to Shaun to let him announce the good news to Mr. Odom who suffered more and more each day. Shaun agreed even if he didn’t really get what it was so important for him to do so. 

“One day, you’ll understand Shaun. You’re too young to get it. But I’m sure you’ll understand later.”

Shaun left the office. His shift was over. Neil gathered his stuff and went to Marcus’ office. They left the hospital. Once at home, Neil took some times for him. He took a long shower and proposed to Claire to make her some salmon spinach lasagna for tonight. He loved cooking and even if he couldn’t enjoy this kind of meal (yet!), he could offer his skills to someone who definitely needed to learn. 

“Maybe I can help?”

“For sure! I can teach other things than medicine, now you’re almost a true doctor.”

He loved to tease her. He could see her blushing. They spent the evening to talk about cooking and Neil gave Claire some advice not to miss some easy recipes. “It could help you to get out from trouble”. They separated later. They were both tired and needed to rest. 

In the middle of the night, Neil heard weird noise coming from the other side of the wall, from Claire’s room. It was like a yelling. No. More like a moaning. He got up and went to Claire’s bedroom. Door was half open. He remembered Claire hated to sleep when the door was closed. Reminiscence of her childhood. But she didn’t give more details. It was likely some stories related to her mother. She had never hidden him she had suffered a lot because of Breeze not being a true mother to her.   
He heard once again this moaning, Claire was talking in her sleep. He couldn’t understand what she was saying. It was not the first time he heard her during the night. It started just after she slept in this room. Was she not feeling fine in this room? Was she hiding things from him? She had the right to. After all they were friends and roommates, nothing more. She didn’t have to share all her thoughts with him. At this precise moment, he felt his heart aching. 

No, he shouldn’t feel that way. It was inappropriate. He knew that. He moved away from the door and walked to his bedroom. He had to focus on his work. Soon, he’ll be able to operate again and he won’t be thinking that way again. At least, he hoped it’ll be the case because it was very disturbing. 

As he was closing his eyes, he heard her yelling. He was sure of that. He got up in a hurry and went to her room. This time, he opened the door and found her seated in her bed, tormented and sweating. Her eyes were distraught. She was not well. He didn’t say a word and sat on the edge of the bed. She was shaking. He put his hand on her shoulder. She nodded. They stayed like that for what seemed hours; he couldn’t say. 

She finally stopped shivering. And he could see she was still shaken by whatever she saw in her nightmare. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t want to be too invasive in her private sphere but in the same time, he was not sure she was feeling good enough to stay alone. She pressed his hand harder. “Can you just stay?”  
He was surprised by her question. “Um... Yeah… Of course.” He sat on the bed and leaned on the head of the bed. Both were feeling awkward. But still she knew she couldn’t sleep alone tonight. Her nightmares were haunting her. The last nights, she slept really badly.

Memories from her past were coming up since she could sleep in a real bed. When she slept in the coach and took care of Neil, she was so tired she slept like a baby. But now she returned to her normal rhythm, her old demons came back to the surface. And it was bad, really bad. She knew it was not good to ask to Neil to stay but she also knew he was the only person who could calm her down. And right now she needed to sleep and be peaceful. 

She lay down in her bed next to Neil. “Thanks for being here.” She closed her eyes and felt sleep coming to her. Claire’s nightmare seemed to have faded away. She was sleeping deeply. She moved a little and turned on her left. As it was a natural gesture, she placed her head and her hand on Neil’s torso. He didn’t push her. Actually, he liked the feeling to have her touching him. And he finally slept asleep too.


	18. Chapter 18 - Come back

Chapter 18: Come back 

Neil woke up next to Claire. She was still lying on his chest. He gently shook her shoulder. 

“Claire? Time to wake up. We both fall asleep last night and we haven’t heard the alarm clock. We have to be in Bonaventure in 45 minutes max.”

Claire jumped from her sleep, almost noticing her head and her hand had spent the night stuck to Neil’s torso. Both were focused on preparing well and fast. More than 20 minutes, they were in the car on their way to Bonaventure and neither of them was talking. Still lethargic because of the brutal waking up or too embarrassed by what had happened last night. Likely a little from both. They took two different ways when they arrived at Bonaventure claiming they had to hurry not to be late. It was not wrong and it was easiest to talk about being late rather than confronting the truth of the closeness of last night.

Claire joined the locker room, swapped her urban wear for her blue doctor coat. Lim was waiting for her to proceed a very complicated surgery on an 80-year-old army veteran. As she was tiding her hair, Audrey showed up in the locker room. 

“Change of plan! Mr. Russell will have to wait a little more to move his leg again. Big incoming in the ER. Big accidents on the highway. Multiples casualties. All the surgeons are requisitioned. Meet me in the ER when you’re ready. I’ve told Mr. Russell he’ll be operated only tomorrow. Hope you’re feeling well because it’s gonna be a long day.”

Claire hurried to prepare and forgot about how tired and confused she was when she arrived earlier this morning. She ran into the ER. The first patients were arriving. She could hear the sirens of the ambulances coming to the hospital and for a while, it reminded her of the traumatic night of the earthquake. She tried to get rid of this idea. At the same moment, she saw Neil arriving in the ER and he had the same fear in his eyes as she just had a few seconds earlier. She waved at him and winked at him, as a way to give him the courage to confront this event which brought him back almost one year earlier. 

She stayed next to him for a while and pressed his hands in hers. “It’s gonna be OK. You’re stronger than all of this. Just focused on the patients and everything will be alright.” He nodded looking at her. Not a word, just the intensity in their eyes and the warm in their hands.

“Time to go!”

Audrey woke up them from their private moment. Claire lowered her head and hurried towards the stretchers which invaded the lobby of the ER. She was sure Audrey had seen something, she had seen her hand in Neil’s one and it embarrassed her. Why couldn’t she remain far away from this man? He was his attending for God’s sake! She didn’t want to waste so many years of work. The best way to erase this image from Lim’s memory was to work harder and proved her she was a great surgeon. 

Neil was surprised to hear Audrey’s voice and to feel Claire’s hand leaving his. He shared a meaningful look with Audrey before looking at Claire rushing to the patients. He had to do the same, to focus on the patients, to help the residents to choose the right treatment, to reassure the victims and empty the already too full emergency rooms. He will talk later with Audrey to clarify things.

As the flows of the patients still continued, Neil treated as many people as he could. Andrews took care of the most injured ones and entrusted them to Park, Glassman and Shaun. The three of them left the ER and went to the OR. Andrews stayed with Neil to help. “Are you feeling good enough to help me to do simple procedures today? I’m gonna need your help. This is totally crazy and I’ve just heard many more are on their way. This accident on the highway is really bad.”

Neil nodded. “Wanted to talk to you about it later… I’ve asked to Dr. Alonso if I could do simple procedures from now on as my left hand is no longer shaking. Waiting for her call.”

“For today, I give you green light. I’ve been following for almost two month since you’re back at Bonaventure and I’m feeling you’re feeling better, you’re more confident, your gestures are surer. Neil, if you’re feeling as I’m feeling you are, please tell me, you are going to help today.”

“I do.” 

The two men exchanged a conniving look and headed towards the entrance of the ER where the stretchers were piling up. In less than one hour, they made stitches, removed pieces of glass in some eyes, closed open wounds, replace elbow, shoulders and hip dislocations, and stabilized open fractures. Four hours later, the ER was empty. All the patients had been taken in charge or had been dismissed. Only the major victims were still in surgery and Marcus and Neil could finally breathe again. “Time for some minutes off, what do you say?”

“With pleasure.”

While the ER was finally emptied, Claire was still in surgery. The poor woman she was operated on had a bar in her abdomen. Lim had abandoned her to go and take care of a more critical patient. She was alone to lead this surgery and she was both frightened and excited. She knew the only way to succeed was to focus on her patient and nothing else. She was not really alone, the nurses were all with her and they helped her to do the right thing at the right time. 

“Nurse Petringa, can I ask you to assist me? I can’t do this alone and you seem to be the most experienced person in here.” She came closer and nodded. “I need you to help me to contain the bleeding as Nurse Johnson removes the bar.”

Nurse Petringa nodded and Claire gave the go to Nurse Johnson to take the bar away from her patient’s chest. As she predicted, the abdomen of her patient filled with blood and she did as quick as she could to clamp the bleeding vessels. Nurse Petringa followed her instructions and helped to contain the hemorrhage. Claire was focused and let no one or no external thought or event disturbed her. She was in her element, she knew her subject well and she was gonna save this woman’s life.   
After she closed her patient’s chest two hours later, she thanked warmly Nurses Petringa and Johnson for their cold blood and all the staff for supporting her in this difficult time. “I couldn’t have done this without you all.” And as she was saying these kind words, Neil and Andrews were looking at her from the gallery. 

“She’s very gifted.” Andrews said to Neil. “And really humble. She’ll go far.”

At this moment, Neil was out of words. He just looked at this tiny woman. Every day, she amazed him a little more. She had taught him to be modest, be better, accept he couldn’t be the best every time, that the patients mattered. And each day, he fell more and more for her. He knew he couldn’t feel this way. He had no right to. She was his student and he will never allow him to abuse from his position. He will just keep enjoying her presence near him to become even better than he was thanks to her. 

In the afternoon, Neil came to Mr. Odom’s room to explain to him what he was suffering from. He spent at least one hour with him to detail the reasons of his sickness and to explain to him what was gonna happen. 

“You have what is called a hiatal hernia. That means that a part of your stomach has climbed up in your oesophagus. And it prevents your diaphragm from working well. It causes both your hiccups and gastric reflux. We’re gonna put your stomach back where it should be and reconnect it correctly with your oesophagus to stop the bleedings and prevent any breathing complication. It’ll hurt for some months. You’ll have some troubles to eat at first. But then all will be alright and all this will be a bad dream.”

“I don’t know what to say… Thank you, thank you for finding what’s wrong with me. Will you perform the surgery? “

“I don’t think so. Dr. Murphy will. He’s pretty gifted, one of the best. Don’t worry you’re in good hands.”

As he left the room, his phone rang. It was Dr. Alonso. She wanted to see him to be sure he can operate on Mr. Odom. He proposed to see her right now. He had some times off before meeting with Shaun and talk about tomorrow surgery. She agreed and they met in her office. 

“I’ve got you voice mail. So you think you’re ready to operate again? Maybe it’s a little too early, don’t you think?”

He explained to her what happened when he met Mr. Odom. He had like a spur. He knew at this precise moment, he had to do the surgery. Maybe not all the surgery but a part of it. Shaun could do the rest. He was pretty good. Then he explained how he helped Andrews this morning in the ER and how he made him even surer he could do this. 

Dr. Alonso listened to his arguments and asked for examining him. She looked closely at his left hand, she made him do some exercises. She took notes and finally looked at him with a smile. 

“You had the right feeling. Your hand is perfectly clear. I’ll call the HR this afternoon to tell them you’re back in business. Congratulations Dr. Melendez, you’re officially cleared.”

He couldn’t describe how he felt at this precise moment. Glad, proud, free. He was a surgeon again. He did it. He succeeded to fight all the obstacles this stupid earthquake put on his way. He could really cry right now. But he won’t do it here, maybe later when he’ll be alone. He thanked warmly Dr. Alonso for all her help and her advice through his moments of doubts. And he left her office full of trust and confidence. A new day had come and he was ready to grab it with his both healthy hands.


	19. Chapter 19 - In the ring

Chapter 19 : In the ring

As he returned to his office, Neil felt relieved. He was glowing, smiling. He was sure everyone he met on his way back to the office could feel how happy he felt. He never heard so many people said hello or good afternoon to him. He locked in his favorite room and remained alone for a while. He needed to focus on what had just happened to him. Shaun was still in surgery. He was finishing a very complicated lung ablation on a cancer patient. In less than one hour, he will be here. 

He heard a knock on the door. It was Claire. “Have some minutes left before checking on my patients in ICU. Come to see if you were alright after this morning…”  
He nodded and gave her a faint smile. He liked when she cared about people, when she cared about him. 

“Great… By the way, I would like to thank you for what you said to me…what you did. It means a lot…You really helped me to fight my fears… And I was terrorized as hell. Believe me!”

He paused for a while and his look lost in the space.

“When I saw all these people coming in the ER, it reminded me of one year ago when I was stuck under a beam and everybody was screaming and moaning around me.” 

He paused once again and swallowed hard. He was still feeling all this pain, this fear. He looked at Claire in the eyes. 

“I thought I was gonna die this day. And this morning I thought I was gonna leave the room and hide in a corner waiting for this to be over. But thanks to you, I fought this feeling and it was awesome… Andrews asked me to help him to perform some minor surgeries, to do some stitches… And I had felt alive again…My love for medicine won over my fears and this is my finest victory.”

Claire looked at him while he was speaking. She was glad he was himself again. She had seen him in his worst moments: when he didn’t believe he will be better, when he believed his disability will be a burden and when he was asking if life was worth living it, when he doubted about his own ability to be stronger than everything that was happening to him all of a sudden.

“And this is not all… I wanted to tell you tonight but as you’re here now… I don’t think I can keep this away from you any longer… Just got out of Dr. Alonso‘s office… I’m back in business. She checked on me and she agreed to let me go in an OR again… I’m ecstatic right now. I could yell from the top of the building… I could dance in the middle of the parking lot… I could…”

He stopped right in front of her. A step closer and he could have kissed her. Which he wouldn’t do because she was still a resident, her resident, her friend and he didn’t want to break all the trust, the respect they had been building for almost 5 years now. She deserved so much better than being kissed because he was too much enthusiastic. He moved away from her, somewhere where he couldn’t hear her breathe in his ear.

Claire tried to remain impassive. She liked - loved this too much – when he was close to her. Feeling his breathe in her ear, feeling the heat of his body… But she couldn’t keep feeling this way. Some lines were made not to be crossed. And it was clearly one of those. 

When he moved away, she took a deep breath, cleared her head and decided it was time to go back to work…At least pretending to. She had still 30 minutes before her patients came back in ICU after recovery room. 

“I’m glad for you… Really… This is awesome… I have no word to express how I’m feeling right now…I’m proud of you, of what you have accomplished, of all the efforts you have made to be back, of how you have been growing up since all this happened to you… And I’m grateful to be your friend…”

She lowered her head. She couldn’t look at him right in the eyes now or he could have seen something she wanted to keep buried deep down herself. 

“Sorry… I have to go…My patients are waiting for me… I need…”

As she was stumbling on her words, Shaun appeared at the doorstep of the office. She took advantage of this moment to escape from this awkward moment. She waved at Neil. “Bye”

And she left the office in a hurry. She almost pushed Shaun as she was reaching the corridor. “See you, Shaun.”

Neil remained overwhelmed, overcome. He also felt this awkwardness between them. He didn’t like when things went that way. He remembered before when everything was simple and now that their world had collided, everything was much more complicated…. But also very enjoyable when they pushed away the uneasiness to only let their true yourselves talked. 

“Shaun, come. How was your surgery?”

“Good, really good.” Shaun explained in his own way how he had been able to remove one of the lungs of his patients and to cut all the metastases around his heart giving him very good chances of recovery. 

“Of course, he couldn’t run anymore.”

Shaun let out a fake laugh. He was trying to make a joke. Obviously, it was not funny but the situation was. So Neil laughed …hard. Shaun seemed to be happy to see him like that. At least, he seemed to be. It was hard to read in him. But Neil couldn’t explain why he felt something, as if Shaun was less in his working mood and allowed him to be more himself. 

They talked for hours about Mr. Odom’s case. Neil told him he could practice again. So tomorrow, he will be with him in the OR. Of course, he’ll intervene to give him advice. He’ll make some moves but the surgery will still be his. Shaun agreed, nodding before standing from his chair. 

“Got to go, my shift is over and Dr. Glassman is waiting for me, I’m eating with him tonight. It’s tacos time!”

He collected his stuff meticulously and before he left the office, he turned back to Neil. “See you tomorrow in the OR.”

He swore he had seen a faint smile on his face as he was telling him goodbye. 

On the day after, he came back to the hospital. He didn’t sleep well. He was too excited because of today. And Claire had still had bad dreams and yelled several times during the night. He didn’t go to see her this time, not after what had happened in his office. It would have been too much tricky. But when he had heard her last night, it broke his heart. She was hiding so much behind her humor, her smiles and her kindness. 

He left the apartment early in the morning. He called an Uber and let Claire sleep. She too had a bad night and he didn’t want to bother her as she was deeply asleep this morning. He let a note to tell her he was already gone to Bonaventure to work on his procedure. He locked himself in his office. Here he was peaceful, away from any external temptation. He worked his technics, his gestures, his surgery. He was surprised when Shaun came in his office. 

“Already here, Shaun?”

“I’m here because it is time to go to surgery, Dr. Melendez. Remember yesterday you asked me to come and join you in your office at 9:30 AM to go to the OR together. It is 9:28 PM and I’m here to go to the OR with you.”

It was already time to go to the OR, he didn’t see time passing! He stood up and followed Shaun. On the way to the OR, he listened to Shaun detailing the procedures. Despite his outside self-confidence, he was so anxious! Going back to the OR was huge, he didn’t operate since more than a year. 

As he entered the OR, he saw Mr. Odom on the table. 

“Dr. Melendez you’ve finally made it! Glad you’re here!”

Seeing Mr. Odom so happy, so confident to see him in the OR gave him the confidence he needed. He explained once again the procedure to Mr. Odom before he was anesthetized. As soon as he ended to do it, he joined the nurses to talk about the latest information they needed to share and Shaun came by his side.   
“Time to begin or we’re gonna be late on our schedule.”

The surgery went well. Mr. Odom was perfectly responsive to the procedure and there was no complication. Melendez helped Shaun for the most complicated parts, to show him the details of some gestures or to do the most delicate parts of the surgery Shaun was not familiar with. He was surprised how easily his hands operated on the patient. It was as if he had never stopped doing it, as if last year had never existed. After releasing Mr. Odom’s stomach and reconnecting it with his oesophagus, Shaun closed the abdomen and the patient was transferred to the recovery room. 

“Good work Shaun!”

Shaun nodded and got out of the OR. As he was washing his hands, he turned to Neil: “ Thanks for supervising me and show me some technics I didn’t know about.” 

Before Neil could tell anything, Shaun had already left the room. He was moved by what Shaun just told him. In his own way, he told him he was glad he was his mentor again.   
[…]

“Can I drive you home or you prefer to take an Uber again?” It was Claire sticking her head by the half-open door. 

“Ah ah ha good joke! Sorry for this morning, I wanted to be here really early to work on my surgery. Will be ready in half an hour. Is it OK for you?”

She nodded and vanished in the corridor, her mind already busy with so many things. Neil finished his report about Mr. Odom’s surgery, turned his computer off and left his office. He really needed to sleep. His sleepless night was weighing on his today energy. He dreamt about a good, warm soup and lying in his bed. As he reached the parking lot, Claire was already waiting for him in the car.

At home, he took a long shower while he listened to Claire playing some guitar. She was good at this. He often heard her hum in her room or in the bathroom. But he‘d rather say nothing, fearing of embarrassing her. He also played guitar when he was a teenager. Hearing this familiar sound made him remember all these moments when he played lullabies for his sister, Gabbi. He was not bad at it. He kind of enjoyed it. And then he went to medical school and everything stopped. When he thought of it, he regretted this time when he was nothing but carefree and oblivious. 

Not that he didn’t like his life. He was the one he chose, the one he built for himself and he was proud of it. It was just that he was missing something… And the sound of the guitar made him feel a little bit nostalgic of this time which seemed so far away now. Maybe he could play guitar again… 

He joined Claire to eat. She was reading a novel. As him, she was really tired. “Think we both need to sleep.”

She agreed before continuing her reading. He knew she was afraid of going to bed because of her nightmares and he didn’t know how to calm her down. “Sleep tight…”

She gave him a melancholic look. “Hope so…”

He left her in the living room, feeling a twinge of sadness when he walked away towards his bedroom. He lay down in his bed. This day had been so emotional he needed a break. And at this precise moment, it really hit him. He had to call Morgan to propose her something very interesting!


	20. Chapter 20 - Offer

Chapter 20 : Offer

In the morning, Neil took some minutes to call Morgan. He wanted to tell her something really important. He didn’t manage to reach her and left a message of the voice mail. “Call me as soon as you’ve got this message. I’ve to tell you about something that crossed my mind yesterday night. Hope you’re alright.” And he hung up.   
Time to focus on his patients! He had to check on Mr. Odom. And he was taking a new one in charge. A certain Mrs. Weeks. She had an open heart surgery 6 months ago and she was complaining about pains in the chest for a week. As he was reading her file, he discovered Audrey and Claire were the ones who operated on her. He had to talk with them about this case. He called Audrey but she didn’t answer. She must have been in surgery or in one of these meetings which never stopped he hated so much. 

He’ll talk to her later. He went to see Mr. Odom to be sure he was alright. As he arrived in his room, he was surrounded by his wife and children. 

“Dr. Melendez, my savior! Please meet, Maria, my wife and Gus, Evie and Amy, my kids.“

Neil nodded to tell hello to the whole family. “I thought I told you to remain calm for a while.”

Mr. Odom laughed and told him he would love to stay calm but he was missing his family too much and he needed to see his three little devils. He couldn’t tell why but Mr. Odom really moved him. He was this kind of man who could do anything for his family even if he was suffering or tired. 

Neil explained to him the surgery went very well and he should be up and about in a few months. Just the time for his stomach and oesophagus to recover. In the same time, he needed to be careful to his food and strictly followed the rules giving by the nutrition expert who was about to come and meet him in the next few days. He told him he will be back in a few days too to check on him and give him the right to go home. Mr. Odom and his wife thanked him warmly and asked him to give their best wishes to Dr. Murphy they didn’t see after the operation. 

“It’ll be done. I let you to your family now. Have a nice day.”

Neil left the room, a smile on his face. This man made him feel fine. He was brought back to reality by his phone vibrating. Morgan was calling him back. He got out of the service and went to the staircase to pick the call. 

“Morgan, glad you call back. Sorry to bother you. I imagine how much you must be busy with your new job. But I have a very important thing to talk you about. Don’t be worry. It’s nothing grave. I’m fine, Claire too. It’s just I had this crazy idea in mind months ago and yesterday it just came back as a boomerang.”

Morgan agreed to come to his apartment to talk. He invited her to dinner promising Claire won’t be cooking, at least not all the dinner. 

“So she still lives with you?” Morgan asked naughtily.

Neil was wordless for a few seconds. He knew Morgan was giggling on the other side of the phone. “Yeah… She’s my roommate… She has a room now, you know. And we both hate to come home to an empty apartment… So you know…” 

“Yeah it’s a 50/50 agreement. I get it!” She knew she was embarrassing him but she liked to tease him. Was it not what you did with your friend? She’ll have done the same with Claire! “Be there by 8 tonight. Is it Ok for you?”

Neil agreed and hung up. He needed to find Claire about tonight’s plans and also to ask her about Mrs. Weeks. Audrey sent him a message to tell him she was blocked for the day in this huge meeting but he could ask first to Claire about Mrs. Weeks, She had spent a lot of time with her months ago when she was hospitalized. She will come tomorrow to his office to give more precise details if needed.

He texted Claire and asked her if she would be available to lunch to talk about a case. Answer came immediately. “Of course, see you at 1 at the cafeteria”. He smiled. Lunch was gonna be good. 

They met in the cafeteria and talked about Mrs. Weeks. Claire told him how adorable this woman was. She told him about her condition. She had multiple open heart surgeries because of a valve which didn’t work at all. It started when she was 45. Now she was 80 and she had been through 4 big surgeries. And despite all of this, she was always happy and joyous. “She’s truly inspiring!”

Neil enjoyed Claire’s company while eating. She was so enthusiastic and cheerful when it came to talk about her patients. Thanks to all the information she gave to him, he was able to understand what was wrong with Mrs. Weeks or at least to imagine what could be wrong with her. 

“She must have a leak… Did you notice the last time you operate on her if her veins were shrunk? I want to say thinner than usual? Was his heart pumping correctly? Or was there any irregularity in her rhythm?”

“Not that I remembered… She had some irregularities in her heart rhythm but nothing weird for someone who had been operated 4 times of the same disability. Her veins were normal, the blood flow too… Dr. Lim and I were happy because the surgery went way well than we had been thought about… Did we miss something? Poor Mrs. Weeks, she’s so sweet…”

He put his hand over hers. “Sure you didn’t miss a thing… If you have some free time, you could come with me to talk to Mrs. Weeks… I’m sure she’ll listen to you…”  
She looked at his hand over hers. She liked it that way. She shouldn’t but she couldn’t fight it. “Ok, I’m coming with you. She can be pretty stubborn when you think of it!”

They stood up as if nothing had happened between them and walked to Mrs. Weeks’ room. Before entering, Neil told Claire that Morgan was coming to dinner tonight. “I invite her. I need to talk with her. I’ve an idea and I want to know if she’ll be interested in… And you too… It’s just a project but I really need your opinion… You’re my best friends and I really care about what you think.”

Claire was both flattered that her opinions mattered so much to him and frustrated he didn’t tell her more right now. As she entered the room, Mrs. Weeks recognized her right away. 

“Oh this is my sweetheart! How are you? And your friend?”

Claire blushed. At this moment, she didn’t know what to do, to tell. “He’s fine, thank you… Ummm… What about you? Don’t expect to see you so soon!”

Claire kept talking with Mrs. Weeks. She could feel Neil’s look directing right at her. She was not sure he didn’t pay attention to what Mrs. Weeks had said. Of course, she quickly changed from subjects but Mrs. Weeks’ voice was very loud. All she needed to do now was to remain calm and to talk about the patient’s heart conditions and everything will be alright. So she did for long minutes, talking about her changes of valves, her cardiac rhythm, her veins… And she only stopped when Neil concluded he had anything he needed to make his own diagnosis. “Thanks you Claire, you really light me up. Mrs. Weeks, it has been a pleasure to meet you. See you tomorrow. I’ll be back with some leads and I hope some solutions.”

She nodded and wished him a good afternoon. “He’s your friend, right?” Claire remained silent. “No need to hide sweetheart. I saw how you’d blushed when I talked about your friend and he was right there.”

Claire didn’t say a word. She was too embarrassed at the moment. “Don’t be bothered with me. Your secret is well kept with me. I understand you like him, he’s pretty handsome. And he seems really smart too. Good choice, my dear…And by the way, I can tell you by the way he’s looking at you, he’s feeling the same way... Just believe an old, crazy woman.”

Claire kept her head down for a while and finally lifted it up to look at Mrs. Weeks. “But it’s not right… I shouldn’t feel this way… He’s my boss…”

“Sweetheart… All I can say is the heart not always listened to the reason… I listened to my heart more than once. And I’m happy to have done it. He’s your boss. Ok, I get it. But you’re almost a doctor now, aren’t you?”

“Finished my residency in two months now…But I’m not sure to stay here. There’s only a few vacant jobs in Bonaventure and I’m not sure I’ll be proposed one…”

“If they didn’t propose one to you, I swear I’m gonna riot! You’re the nicest and most caring doctor I’ve ever met and believe me, I’ve seen a lot of doctors in my life! Love is a one-time thing. Once you find the right person, you have to fight to keep him. Don’t let your work or some stupid hierarchical rules dictate your heart…”

Claire thanked her for all. She really was too nice with her. She was like the grandma she had never had. “Let’s finish with this new heart surgery and I’ll take good care of you.” As she left the room, Claire felt a little better. It was good to have someone to talk to. 

Morgan called Neil to tell him she’ll be a little late. She had a last late patient to see before leaving the clinic. In one way, he was happy he’ll have more time to prepare the meal he had in mind. Claire was slicing the onions. She was pretty good at it. It reminded her of the surgery as she told him earlier. The bad side of this was that she was crying like a baby. 

Morgan arrived thirty minutes late. She brought some wine and an organic orange juice. It was good to be reunited again! Like old times when they stuck together against all the pain and sorrow that came after them. Neil’s meal was excellent. Claire and Morgan enjoyed the “mijoté” he had prepared. He was eating the same meal but all was mixed. But still it was excellent. 

“Morgan, I ask you to come tonight because I have an idea in mind for some times now… It came to my mind when Claire was complaining about not finding a nurse for me just after I came home. At this moment, she made a remark I’ve kept in mind since. She was surprised to have so many troubles to find a nurse although I had the financial means to afford one, even a very expensive one. And she asked how difficult it must be for people who didn’t have a lot of money to have access to medical care.”

Claire and Morgan were looking at him very concentrated. 

“Then I looked for information and in fact, many people give up. They sacrifice their health because they can’t afford it… And I find this completely stupid! As a doctor, I want to help people. But people can’t come to see me because I’m too expensive. This is not how I conceive my job! Not how I want to practice it. I recently talked with the Bonaventure foundation and it turns out that there’s a call for proposals which had been recently done and they’re looking for new projects to fund… And I was hoping you’ll accept to help me to accompany me in a crazy project: building a clinic for the most penniless ones…”

The two women didn’t let out a word out of their mouths. 

“So what are you thinking? Am I crazy?”

Morgan was the first to talk. “This is absolutely… amazing! I’m totally in!”

Claire remained silent. She was looking at him intensively, she was proud of the man he had become, of the doctor he was. “I’m with you” were the only words she could say at this precise moment.


	21. Chapter 21 - Building

Chapter 21: Building

Neil was proud Claire and Morgan agreed to help him with his crazy project to build a clinic for penniless people. At first, he thought he was insane. He didn’t have the soul of a philanthropist. And then he almost died and it changed a lot of things in his life: the way he looked at the world, the way he thought about people, the way he considered his future. 

He planned to meet Morgan and Claire two nights later to talk about the project. The end of the call for projects was in three weeks and they had a lot of work to do: building the arguments to convince Marcus, Audrey and all the others members of the committee that it was a good idea, finding ways to finance the clinic by itself once the foundation financing will be over, and just making them believe it was a good idea…

But before that, it was time to go to work. Claire pulled him out of his reverie. She couldn’t be late this morning. She had a big surgery with Audrey which was already reported twice. She was already focused on her subject and didn’t talk too much this morning. It was OK he had a lot to do to with all his patients and his clinic project. As they arrived in the lobby of the hospital, he remembered her to tell Audrey to come to talk with him about Mrs. Weeks. He texted her yesterday evening and she didn’t answer. “Will do it! Have a good day. See you tonight!”

And she hurried. She was right in time to change and get to the OR. She let her stuff in her locker, put her blue scrub and met Dr. Lim just before entering the OR.   
“Right on time, Dr. Browne.”

They washed their hands and joined Mr. Russell who was already installed on the table. He was grumpy this morning. But who could blame him? It was never an easy thing to be operated on. Audrey explained the procedure to him once again. He nodded in agreement. “I know you’re stressed but we are pretty confident.”

After Audrey finished her sentence, he seemed more relaxed. The anesthetist enjoyed the moment to inject the solution in his arm. The patient fell deeply asleep in a few minutes. Now was time to remove from his leg a piece of a shell splinter which was in his leg since the Vietnam war and caused him to hop more and more years after years. Audrey made the first cut. It was a hard one just next to the femoral artery. Claire looked at her precisely. She was impressed her hand was not even shaking a little. 

When the leg was open, Audrey held out the surgical plier to Claire. “Your turn!” She took Audrey’s place and watched inside the leg. The shell splinted was under Mr. Russell’s bone and to reach it she needed to pass the femoral artery. With a lot of precaution, she put the pliers in the leg and lifted the soft tissues. Audrey was watching her and her every move to fix them if she needed to. After a while, she managed to reach the shell splinter and to grab him firmly. She pulled on it to take it out. But it was kind of stuck. 

Audrey noticed the problem. “Be very careful, Claire. If you pull to stronger, it could tear the artery just below. Do you see why it is stuck like that?”

“Seems like the shell splinter has merged with the soft tissue just under…”

“Ok so you’re gonna take the scalpel and make a small incision under the splinter. Then I’m gonna hoover the blood and cauterize the cut while you take the splinter away.”

Claire listened carefully to Dr. Lim and followed her instructions. The two women stayed really focused – even more than usual - on their job for the next minutes. Claire pulled on the splinter while Audrey took care of the bleeding. In less than 30 minutes, Mr. Russell was freed from this little piece of metal which caused him so many problems for almost 5 decades.

As they went out of surgery, Audrey congratulated Claire for her cold blood. “It’s the best quality you can have when you choose trauma surgery.” Claire nodded. As they were about to split, Claire asked her to go Dr. Melendez. “I saw him this morning as I arrived. He asked me to tell you he wanted to see you about Mrs. Weeks”. Audrey told her she was on her way to see him now and left Claire alone in the lobby. 

Audrey met Neil in his office. He was reading his file and taking notes on his pad. “Still pen and paper? You know you have a computer?” He smiled. 

“You know I’m an old school guy!”

“You wanted to talk about Mrs. Weeks yesterday. What information do you need?”

He explained to her Mrs. Weeks’ pain in the chest for almost a week. He asked her about the last surgery, Mrs. Weeks’ medical history. She told her all she knew. 

Nothing more than Neil already knew thanks to Claire. He kept listening to Audrey. She gave him some more details about the treatment Mrs. Weeks used to take. He wrote the names of the drugs. He was familiar with some of them. He needed to make some researches on the others to know about their side effects. 

“You should ask to Claire, she was pretty close from this patient.”

“Already did. But I wanted to have both your two points of view.”

Audrey winked at him. She was sure he already asked to Claire. She knew from the beginning there was something, a special connection between the two of them. 

“And have you found what you were looking for?”

“Almost… Just have to check some details… I think Mrs. Weeks has a leak in her valve? This explains the whole chest pains. If ever I have to operate on her, can Claire assist me? She knows Mrs. Weeks very well, and she already operated on her so it’ll be easier to…”

Audrey interrupted him. “You can have Claire for this surgery…. By the way, you’d have picked her anyway. Am I wrong?” And she left the office leaving Neil astonished. Why did she say this? He only wanted to be sure he was doing the best thing for the patient and Claire operating with him seemed to be the best way to be sure Mrs. Weeks will receive the best treatment. He decided to get through this moment and to focus only on his patient. He sat at his desk and turned his computer on. 

Neil did research on all the side effects of the drugs Mrs. Weeks was taking. He knew some of the drugs but some were really new molecules he didn’t know about. He needed more information about them. He looked for articles on the Internet, called the laboratories. At the end of the day, he was sure Mrs. Weeks was suffering from a leak in her valve. 

Neil visited Mrs. Weeks to tell about his idea of diagnosis. He explained to her he needed to run some more tests to confirm his suspicions. He took her to the lab to make blood tests and he went to the ultrasound service. Just a few hours later, his diagnosis was confirmed. He went to see Mrs. Weeks to tell her about the news. Unfortunately, she had to be operated before the end of the day. 

On his way to Mrs. Weeks’ room, he met Claire at the nurses desk. “I’ve got your message. Are you sure I can operate with you? Couldn’t see Dr. Lim today to tell her… She was on a big surgery with Dr. Glassman all the afternoon. And she’s still there.”

“Don’t worry about this. Already talked to her this morning. She agreed… I was on my way to Mrs. Weeks’ room. She needs to be operated right now. Just booked an OR. ” 

They went to Mrs. Weeks’ room and explained to her the situation. She needed to go on surgery right now because she had a leak in her valve and it was better if it was stopped as soon as possible. Neil said to her he was gonna operated on her with Claire. She knew her medical conditions. Mrs. Weeks couldn’t hide her enthusiasm when she heard the news. 

“Not gonna say I’m happy to go back to surgery. But I’m happy this little sweetheart will be with me in the OR. I trust her with my all heart.”

They brought her to the OR. It was time to fix this valve. Neil made the first incision and dove his hands in his patient’s chest to reach the valve. He was careful to her heart, not to make any harm to the muscle. Claire was standing next to him, anticipating every one of his moves. He managed to seize the valve and to find the leak. The valve was defective. He took the new one and put it in Mrs. Weeks’ chest. In the blink of an eye, he changed the device and checked the heart rhythm before closing the chest. 

Before finishing his shift, Neil went to the recovery room to check on Mrs. Weeks. Claire was right. This woman was really endearing. When he arrived, she was still sleeping. Her vitals were correct. He asked to the nurses to call him anytime if anything went wrong with her. “You like her too?” Nurse Johnson was teasing him. But he couldn’t contradict her. He really liked her. She was so sweet and refreshing. “Kind of… Keep me posted if anything changes.”

He went back home with Claire and went to bed pretty quickly. They were both exhausted. The day after, they were off shift but they woke up early to work on the clinic project. They started with some researches on the internet. They had to find other clinics in the state and in the country to talk with their directors. They needed guideline, advice to build a rock-solid file and present it in two weeks in front of the selection committee of the hospital and the members of the foundation. 

Neil was aware it was a very short time to prepare such a project but he was so passionate by it, he knew he could do it. Especially with Claire and Morgan’s help.   
Morgan joined them before lunch. She had some appointments in the morning she couldn’t cancel. When she arrived at the apartment, Claire and Neil were both on the phone speaking fervently. She put her bag in a corner and went to the kitchen to prepare some little snacks. She was hungry and she was sure they must be feeling the same way. As they hung up, they shared the information they had just gathered. 

Neil talked to the director of a clinic in Houston, Texas, Mr. Sullivan. He gave him many pieces of advice about the way to balance and handle the economic stability of the clinic. Claire got in touch with the head of a clinic in Modesto, California. She was in charge of the clinic for two years now. The creator of the clinic gave her the plain powers to run the establishment as he decided to found a new clinic in Bakersfield and was only there to promote it and to give her some advice from time to time. 

“Good start…” Neil seemed thoughtful. 

“And she wants to meet you. Modesto is not so far away. Thought you can go there tomorrow. She’s waiting for your call to confirm the appointment.”

Neil smiled to Claire and took the phone and the piece of paper she was holding out to him. On it was the phone number of a certain Mrs. Herrera and a little note just below “Good luck but I know you can do it :-D”. He grinned and left the room to make his phone call in his bedroom. 

Claire and Morgan enjoyed this time off to talk about their lives. They had not seen each other for one and a half month! They had so much to catch up. Claire talked about her specialty residency in trauma, Morgan explained to her how she was treating almost 30 people every day and felt alive again. Neil went out of his room. He was smiling. He was gonna meet Mrs. Herrera tomorrow morning and she was gonna help him with the administrative and legal aspect of the application. 

They spent the afternoon and a whole part of the evening to work on the technical aspects of the file: the location of the clinic, the specialties which could be practiced inside, the kind of people they could reach… 

“I think it’s time for me to leave you, I need to rest if I want to help you tomorrow.” She stood up from her chair. “By the way, can I take the file about the location? One of my friends could help on this point.”

“Of course, just need you bring it back tomorrow before I leave for Modesto.”

Morgan agreed with a nod of head. The morning after, she came to drop the file very early. She had to go to Santa Clara to check on her patients before coming here and work with Claire on the writing of the project. She let the file on the kitchen table and noticed Neil asleep next to Claire in her bed. She had her head on his chest.


	22. Chapter 22 - Information

Chapter 22: Information

In the morning, Neil woke up peacefully. Claire was still sleeping next him, cuddling. She once again had a hell of a night and he had to come to calm her down at 3 AM. This time, he took the time to tell her she needed to talk to her psy about her nightmares. It was getting worse week after week and she desperately did need to sleep. 

She agreed with a nod. She was so tired, so exhausted. All she wanted was to lie in her bed and fall deeply asleep for more than 3 hours long. She couldn’t stand to wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and sweating, just after she saw her mother getting killed again. Or Kayla being carried off by illness. Or Kane being taken after his surgery. She was still traumatized by what had happened to her last year, whatever she was saying. PTSD was still there and it was rooting her life. 

This morning, when Neil left the room, she was still sleeping. He let her sleep. She needed to rest and Morgan won’t be there before noon like yesterday. As he reached the kitchen, he saw the file Morgan borrowed on the kitchen table. She must have come very early this morning while she was on her way to Santa Clara’s clinic. He didn’t ask her for the key back. In a way, he was reassured to know someone outside of this apartment could have his back. 

He got prepared and went to the garage. It was the first time he took the car alone since the earthquake incident. He drove a little with Claire to get used to it but today he had more than 80 miles to drive all by himself and he was a little scared and anxious. Even if he knew he could do it, it was still impressive to actually do it. He started the car, left the parking lot and joined the highway. 

One hour and a half later, he was in Modesto. He found the clinic pretty easily. His appointment with Mrs. Herrera was at 10:30AM. He was just in time. He parked his car and entered in the clinic. He was welcomed by Daisy, the receptionist. She told him Mrs. Herrera will be late, she was still stuck in a meeting. 

“But if you like I can make you visit the clinic? Jessica can take care of the reception desk without me. Right, Jessica? ”

Jessica nodded. Daisy took Neil by the arm and brought him in the corridors of the building. She explained to him the clinic was composed of three departments: general medicine, emergency and pediatrics. Neil listened to Daisy. She really knew her subject. He looked at all the materials. It was pretty impressive. She explained to him that at the beginning the clinic was not as big as it was today, they lacked of basic materials: compresses, gloves, masks, painkillers. And then they were supported by local communities, they made agreements with the local overcrowded hospitals and received some helps from the state. 

“You met Daisy, from what I see. You couldn’t find anyone better to present you the project. She’s with us since the beginning. May you join us while I’m talking about the clinic with Mr. Melendez?”

Daisy accepted the invitation. She knew this place like the back of her hand. As Mrs. Herrera gave a lot of information about how to manage and run a clinic, Daisy gave him previous advice about the way of dealing with the community. He thanked them warmly for their kindness and help. He learnt more in coming here than in taking any class about management and social issues. He went back to his car in the middle of the afternoon. The moment he spent with these two lovely women had been priceless. 

Claire woke up. Neil was already gone. As she raised her head from the pillow, she looked at the alarm clock. It was already 10AM! She had slept for 6 long hours. And it felt so good. She stood up from the bed and went to the kitchen to get some coffee. On the table, she found a note left by Neil: “Gone for Modesto early. Let you sleep. Think you needed to rest before working hard on the writing this afternoon with Morgan. Wish me luck. BTW, took your post it with me :-D”. 

She smiled like an idiot teenager. She didn’t like to feel like that for her colleague, her boss, her roommate, her friend. But she did and even if she tried to push all her feelings away, they always came back to her right in the face. Working on the project allowed her to take some distances with her inner war.

She got dressed, sat at the table and read the file again. She needed to know all the elements by heart to write a perfect project. Morgan joined her after her work at the clinic. She had some patients to see this morning. When she arrived with pizza and orange juice in her hands, she found Claire focused on the documents put on the table. 

“Hi! Sorry, I’m a little late but my last little patient was not really cooperative regarding vaccines. Had to run after all her to explain I was not the bad guy in this and all I wanted was to give her some help to fight viruses.”

She put the pizzas and the bottles of orange juice on the table. “Time to eat now. This girl exhausted me! Please tell me you have saucy stories to tell me!”

Claire told her about the choice each resident made for their specialty, she told her about Shaun and Lea’s umpteenth break ups (she didn’t count anymore and Shaun knew exactly what she thought of her). Morgan asked her about the people she knew there; Andrews, Lim, Glassman and of course Park... Even if they had a misunderstanding with him, he was still a nice guy… One of the nicest she ever met to be fair. 

After this girly time, they started to write the project or at least, the first draft. It was a huge work to do and they had to make it fast and well. Tough work for two perfectionist people. But they took this as an exercise to improve and get better. They spent the whole afternoon to build a plan and find the guiding lines of the project. Next step was to fulfill each part with ideas and strong arguments Neil could present and defend in front of the jury. 

“Do you want some coffee?” Claire got up from her chair and went to the coffee machine. 

“Of course… By the way, I can ask you something…”

“Yes, what?”

“Are you alright? You seem tired, lost… I know you’re pretty interested in the project… But you seem far. You know you can tell me everything. You know that… You saw me at my worst time, you knew me when I was a bitchy doctor… You know I’ve changed and only want to help you…”

Claire remained silent. She didn’t know where to begin with. Her life was way too complicated right now. Morgan kept talking and chose the moment she thought was the best to tell her about what she saw this early morning. 

“Claire, sweetheart, you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever met and I don’t like to see you this way… I was wondering… Um… I came this morning to drop the location file and…” She stopped for a short while to gather all her courage. “”I saw you Claire… He was in your bed and you were sleeping and your head was over his chest…”

First, Claire lowered her eyes, then she looked at Morgan right in the eyes. She needed to talk to someone. She had to let out all the feelings she had buried deep down for over a year now. Maybe way too more to be fair. 

“I’m completely lost, Morgan… This is the first time in my life, I’m like this. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to feel this way. But I do. And it scares me. All my life I’ve known where I was going even when my mom fucked up and I had to fix her mistakes. I’ve learnt to be independent, to be alone… Even when I was with Jared, I was not like that…”

“Sweetie… It’s because…”

“Don’t say the word… It can’t be… I have to end my residency before anything happens. If ever something happens. I have to focus on the end of my residency and this project. It helps me keep distracting and then we’ll see.”

Morgan nodded just before adding some words. “If it can reassure you, he feels the same way…”. Claire rushed to the coffee maker to take the two cups. She smiled to Morgan. She understood her, she didn’t judge her, not anymore. She was her best friend. And it felt good to have one, especially in this pretty weird moment. 

“Time to go to work!” Claire told as she was coming back with two hot cups of coffee.

Claire and Morgan worked on the writing of the project for some more hours again. Each of them worked on a special part of the writing. Then they exchanged their work ad corrected the other. Four hours later, they had already written a third of the whole project. 

Morgan’s phone rang. It was her friend who worked in real estate. She went to the kitchen to take the call. He had some news about the location. Some abandoned warehouses were available in the Evergreen neighbor. The city hall rented the place for a modest price because they wanted to renovate the area. He proposed her to come with her friends tomorrow to visit. 

As she hung up, she put her thumbs up. Claire understood the message right away. 

“Your friend found something? Where? Tell me everything!!!”

Morgan told her about the warehouse in Evergreen neighbor and that she booked an appointment to visit the place tomorrow. “Time to celebrate!”. Claire went to Neil’s bar and took a bottle of bourbon. She poured two glasses and offered one to Morgan. They cheered and drunk the precious liquid. While they were pouring their second glasses, they heard a sound. Someone was opening the door. They drunk quickly and put the bottle in place.

“Is anyone here?”

It was Neil’s voice. And he was not alone, Park was with him. Morgan turned pale as soon as she saw him. The last person she was expecting to see. Neil explained he went to Bonaventure after coming back from Modesto. He needed to go to his office to take some books and files. And also his laptop he forgot the other night when he left work. That was when he met Park on his way back to his car. 

They shared some words and Neil told him about the clinic project. And Park was very enthusiastic. So they went to a bar to take a drink and talked more precisely of the clinic. Park knew a lot of people who could be interested in visiting the clinic. He was working in a community center in Phoenix while he was studying medicine. He could help them to analyze what kind of people could come to the clinic and how to communicate with these people, who were often afraid and reluctant to come to a medical place. 

“Welcome to the team!”

“Thanks Claire. Glad to join you.”

They sat around the table and Claire started to explain what Morgan and she had done the whole afternoon – except for the bourbon glasses. Some things needed to remain secret. Neil talked about his meeting with Daisy and Mrs. Herrera in Modesto and never stopped to say how wonderful they had been to him. He thanked Claire for finding them. She grinned at him. 

Morgan noticed her friend had forgotten – almost for a moment what she had said earlier. She was in love, deeply in love. And she was sure he was feeling the same by the way he was staring at her. Then, she raised her eyes and saw Park, seated right in front of her. She knew she had to talk with him. She hated the awkwardness between them. Some things needed to be told. But not tonight, it was already late, she was hungry and she couldn’t stop looking at the two idiots just near her who were unable to say out loud at which point they were caring about each other.


	23. Chapter 23 - Hard work

Chapter 23 : hard work

Park joined the team on the day after. He also used his days off to help as much as he could to assemble the file and try to make it successful. This idea reminded him of the young man he was, believing in solidarity, kindness and good will. Not that he was not like this anymore but life had learnt him to be more sarcastic, biting. As he arrived, Claire, Morgan and Dr. Melendez were already working. 

“Sorry for being late, Dr. Melendez.”

Neil laughed. “You can call me Neil.”

“So call me Alex.”

“Done!”

“So now we can work?” Claire was teasing them. She loved to make Neil ill at ease. His cheeks always blushed. Alex lowered his head. “I was joking, gentlemen.” Morgan let out a laugh and shared a conniving look with Claire. 

They spent hours to rewrite the draft and to improve the contents. The file had to be perfect to have a chance to be examined by the jury! Claire and Morgan chose to work on the location part while Alex and Neil took in charge the financial section. 

In the afternoon, they all went to Evergreen to visit with Morgan’s friend the warehouse he had talked her about yesterday over the phone. Neil parked the car in a little street not far away from the meeting place. Morgan called her friend to tell him they will be there in a few minutes. He was already there when they reached the warehouse. 

Morgan introduced them to Harry. He was his childhood friend. They met in second grade and had never separated since. Claire looked at her friend sharing words with Harry. They looked like a brother and a sister, true siblings separated at birth who met years after accidentally. She liked to learn more and more about Morgan. She opened up since her surgery. She might have lost the opportunity to become a surgeon but she was becoming a really cheerful and altruistic person. 

Harry explained to them the city wanted to change the neighborhood. It was built in the 1920s and the buildings were very old. As they were protected as “historical memories”, they wanted to turn them into something useful. But as Evergreen was far away from the downtown, they had troubles to find renters. If they were interested, they could ask him to take care of the file at the city hall. He knew a lot of people there and could accelerate the procedure. Neil nodded in agreement.

“Let me show you the inside.”

As they entered the building, Neil could feel good vibes. He looked at Claire who looked at him back. This place was special. They could feel it! Harry showed them the first and the second floor. All had been renovated and the rooms were very practical. Morgan fell in love with the patio which had been designed at the second floor. Park appreciated the calm of the street which was favorable for good concentration. 

Harry let them strolling around the place. After a while, they met in a corner and talked about their impressions. Neil let them talk first. He didn’t want to influence their judgment. All agreed to say the place was worth it. It was big, but not too big. It was easy to arrange, to create dedicated spaces. They asked to Harry for joining them. They had a lot of questions for him. Harry proposed to go to his office where they will be more comfortable. 

They spent hours talking with Harry there. He knew the neighborhood very well for someone who wasn’t raised in San José. He explained he came here right after high school and entered the world of real estate thanks to a friend of his family. At the end of the day, he shook Neil’s hand and promised him to come back to him as soon as he had an answer from the city hall. 

Days passed and after one week, Neil began to really believe his crazy dream was possible. Thanks to Morgan, Park and Claire’s help, the clinic was more than a preliminary draft, it was a concrete project. Harry just called to tell him his offer had been accepted by the city hall. It could have the key of the warehouse as soon as his project was accepted by Bonaventure’s foundation.

Now that the materials and financial problems were solved – at least in the writing – they had to decide how to make the clinic live day after day. Neil read about workshops to help people to learn people the first aid techniques. Alex was ready to take this in charge at first if needed. Claire proposed to spend some hours each week with the young girls to learn about the means of contraception and the danger of self-abortion. Morgan offered to hold a class about how to live with a disability. 

Almost one year and a half after having lost her biggest dream, she had the impression to be born again. Her disability had taught her to be better, to be open to other people, to simply be the best of herself. And she wanted to share her experience with people who moped around, who needed to be helped. As she was saying this, she winked at Claire. She had been her guardian angel while she was at the bottom of the well. And that was when she realized it was time to talk with Alex…

She was not ready to tell him right now, day was almost over and she wanted to go home and prepare for this talking which was gonna be difficult. As she came back home this night, she sent a text message to Alex. She proposed him to meet him on the day after at Simon’s. They used to go there to get some coffee when they both worked at Bonaventure. 

The day after, they met in the café. Morgan and Park were both feeling so awkward, they didn’t even know how to say hello. That was so stupid. They used to work together for 4 years and a simple moment changed their relationship, their friendship and she didn’t like this. She needed his friend back.

“Glad you came…”

They sat at a table and ordered a moka and a deca to the waitress. The atmosphere was heavy at this precise moment, each of them didn’t know what to say, where to begin with. The last year had been very complicated for both of them – he decided to stay in San Jose when his son and ex-wife moved to Phoenix and she lost the ability to operate – and their last talk had even made it harder. 

They always had been in competition. Morgan loved to be the best and to show her abilities. It was likely the result of her lousy childhood. He had been an elite athlete before he went into medicine school. He won several karate competitions. And from this time, he kept the taste for challenge and rivalry. And that was what she liked about him: she had a rival on the top of the game. Claire was pretty good at this game too, even if she didn’t notice it at first sight. 

“I wanted to talk… I can’t stand that we are so awkward all the time, especially when we work together again…”

Alex nodded in agreement. 

“I know I’ve been the queen of the bitch… I should have never have reacted this way… What you said to me… It was not completely wrong. At the time, I didn’t see it but all this mess with my hands, it has made me grown up and…”

He put his hand over hers. “You’re not the only one to blame in this story.. I may have been too hard on you, I shouldn’t have said you this…”

She smiled at him. She was happy to be able to talk with his friend like that. It was as nothing happened. This awful argument in the locker room left them broken. Alex told her she was selfish, a real bitch when she was with her patient at this time. Her name was Mrs. Green. She will remember this name for the rest of her life. He was not right. She literally said in front of her patient she had no chance of recovery at all. Ok, it was true but she should have taken into account the patient’s feelings. 

At the time, she didn’t even know what it was. She only wanted to win. After her hands’ curse, she knew the patient’s feeling was the most important thing in the world. She will have never recovered if she hadn’t been surrounded by benevolent people like Claire Browne or Dr. Alonso. 

“I’m sorry to have these words to you. I didn’t mean them... I mean…Yeah I mean them. You’ve been a real bitch to Mrs. Green. But I shouldn’t have told all of this the way I did.”

She laughed. “You were right. I was a damned bitch this day… And the days before. For my whole residency, I‘ve been mean because I believed it was the only way to reach my goals. I was wrong. Sometimes you can be a bitch, and sometimes you just need to be nice.”

She could feel tears coming from her eyes. She used her sleeve to dry them. Alex was looking at her. “I really like the woman you‘re becoming, Dr. Reznick! Very proud to be your friend.”

They spend some more hours to talk. It was even better than before; more conniving, more obvious. This long talking they had waited for so long had arrived and their new relationship could begin. 

“Time to go to Melendaire!”

“Who?”

“Melendez and Claire! Found them a nickname few months ago but I had no one to share with. Now, I have you.” She winked at him. “And don’t tell me you notice nothing? It’s so obvious!”

Alex made no with his head. “Men, men, men! What will I do with you?” She developed her theory while they were driving to Neil. She explained to him she didn’t understand how they were not together yet. He kept listening to her. He had to be more careful. He didn’t see a thing. 

As they arrived to Neil’s apartment, Neil and Claire were working at the kitchen table, seated next to each other. Morgan gave Alex a nudge. “You see, told you.” She took off her jacket and entered the living room. “We’re here!”

Both Claire and Neil were surprised to see Morgan and Alex came at the same time. The last time they saw them they were cold as ice towards the other. “Something must have happened.” Claire whispered to Neil who was standing just next to her. “Not your business, Claire.”

“We’ll see” And she stuck her tongue at him. He burst into laughing. 

“Did I miss something?” Morgan asked coming from the bathroom. Alex smiled at her. She sure did. Why did she choose this precise moment to get her hands wash! They spent the rest of the day to work on the project. The presentation in front of the committee was only in a few days and they had to refine the application file for it to be perfect. They will not have a second chance! 

By the end of the day, it was done. They couldn’t believe they did all of this work in less than 2 weeks. He was proud of his team. He could never have done anything without them. He went to his own wine cellar and came back with a prestigious Château Latour. 

“It’s too much Neil!” Alex said. 

“My pleasure! You’ve done so much! You help me in my craziness and now you’ve built a whole file to lead a clinic for disabled and penniless people. You use your days off and some leaves to work with me. You deserve a little reward. Sorry not to join you but the doctor didn’t give me the right – yet – to drink some wine.”

They ordered some Italian and Japanese food. It was easier now that Neil could eat some solid food! Nothing crazy yet but he could eat half of a risotto without having stomach aches. The whole evening spent very well. Alex couldn’t stop but watching at Claire and Neil. Morgan was right, something was going on between these two. But they were not even aware of it. It was kind of cute when he thought about it. Neil couldn’t stop teasing Claire about her little height and she blushed every time. As was he when she was joking about his obsession for alphabetical order. 

Before leaving, Alex and Morgan were stopped by Neil. 

“I had something to ask you before you all leave.” He seemed nervous. He was chewing his lower lips. “I’m thinking about it for days… Morgan, I was wondering if you would like to become a full-time attending at the clinic if the project is picked up… I know you love your job in Santa Clara but…”

He didn’t have the time to end his sentence. “I‘d really love to, Neil!” And she went and hugged him. “Sorry… I think I’ve spent too much time with Claire!”

They all laughed. Then, Neil asked to Park and Claire to be a part of the clinic too. He knew they didn’t have too much time now because of the end of their residency but it could be later. He just wanted to know if they would like to be part of the project once it will be real. Alex gave him a nod to show his agreement and then shook his hand. “Will be proud of!”

Finally, Neil raised his eyes on the tiny person who was at the end of the room, this tiny person who represented so much in his life. He could see tears in her eyes. She didn’t have to say a word. He already knew the answer. But he was really moved when he heard her melodic voice: “Of course I couldn’t even imagine not being a part of this crazy adventure with you…”


	24. Chapter 24 - Stress

Chapter 24: Stress 

The great day was finally there. Neither Neil nor Claire could believe it was today they were auditioned by the commission of the foundation. The last two weeks had passed so quickly! They were so busy writing, searching, studying, rewriting, and making calls. In a way, it was a good thing for both of them because they had no time to think about their inner wars, especially the one that involved them both and that they were trying to bury deep down inside, hoping it will never come out again. 

When they arrived to Bonaventure this day, they were stressed. Morgan and Alex were waiting for them in the lobby. They were as anxious as they were. All the hard work they provided for the last two weeks, all their crazy ideas, their almost sleepless nights were about to be judged in less than one hour. They had to be persuasive, they had to clear and precise. While they were exchanging some last words, Marcus came to tell them it was time. They all shared a conniving look and walked to the meeting room where the commission was taken place. 

As they entered the room, all the members of the foundation were already here, seated around the table, Neil felt so stressed. He could see the same feeling in the eyes of the others. He needed to show them the example, to lead them. After all, he was the one who brought them here with his crazy idea of building a clinic for penniless and disabled people! 

He took a seat around the table in front of all the members and invited Claire, Alex and Morgan to do the same. When they were all around the table, Marcus closed the door and joined the table. He proposed to everyone in the room to introduce. When it was finished, the president of the foundation, a certain Mrs. Lynch, explained how the commission was taking place. Neil was more and more anxious. Claire, seated just next to him, could feel it. She put her hand on his arm and pressed it for a while. He was not alone in this. 

Mrs. Lynch allowed Neil to introduce the project in front of the committee after she gave him some instructions. Neil stood and used the white board at the edge of the room. He took a deep breath – he was never so stressed before a surgery. But here, he had the impression to lose all control over his body – and he looked at his three friends who helped him a lot. He couldn’t disappoint them, he couldn’t disappoint Claire who had been with him since the day when his life had fallen down and never let him down. 

“Dear members of the committee, I would like to thank you all for accepting to give me some moments of your precious time in order me to present you the project I’m working on with Dr. Morgan Reznick, general practitioner in Santa Clara’s clinic and my two colleagues from Bonaventure Hospital: Dr. Alex Park, neurosurgeon and Dr. Claire Browne, trauma surgeon. 

First of all, I’m going to tell you about the project. As you may know, I had been badly injured during the earthquake that happened in San Jose almost 2 years ago. I almost died but thanks to Dr. Marcus Andrews here I was offered a second chance when he proposed me to be part of a trial. I had also the chance to be surrounded by warmly and devoted friends who helped me to go through this terrible ordeal.”

He paused a minute to glance at Audrey, Morgan and finally his dear Claire who gently smiled at him. He could feel all the strength he needed to continue his presentation. 

“When I left the hospital, I was confronted to a problem that surpassed me. I needed a nurse to take care of me because I was alone in my apartment. I was disconcerted when I realized it was so difficult to find one. And yet I had the means to afford one nurse, even a very expensive one. But I didn’t find someone. Fortunately for me, Dr. Reznick and Dr. Browne offered to help and took care of me despite their own busy schedules. But what about people who don’t work in the medical field? What about people who don’t have enough money to make ends meet at the end of the month? What about people who work two jobs just to make their family eat? This is the whole point of this clinic.”

Neil could see Mrs. Lynch was writing a lot on her pad, like the man on her right whom he forgot about his name. He understood she was gonna be difficult to convince but the project was worth it. 

“I let the place to Dr. Park, who worked in a clinic in Phoenix before studying medicine and will tell you about the necessity to have this type of institution in our city to help people who need to have access to medicine but can afford it right at this moment.”

Park nodded at Neil and took his place next to the whiteboard. He took some minutes to adjust his powerpoint and then explained to the committee the importance of having a clinic in a city like San Jose. He gave them numbers, examples and facts. When he was done, Morgan took his place and enhanced the significance for Bonaventure to have such a project when the hospital wanted to promote its social image. She also explained that as a disabled person she understood when these people were reluctant to go to a hospital. A clinic would be more welcoming, more reassuring, less big and more like a family. It could help them to deal with their disabilities and learn that a disability is not necessarily a burden. 

Claire was the last one to talk. She was stressed. Neil, Alex and Morgan had been so convincing. She couldn’t disappoint her friends. She stood, took a last deep breath and let her heart speak, letting go of all the notes she had written before. 

“Coming from a disadvantaged neighborhood, I can tell you how hard it is for people from these areas to have access to medical cares. Many of them give up and forget about their illness, hoping for it to magically disappear. Others prefer to be treated by some third-rate so called doctors who let them hurt forever. But not one of them thinks about going to the hospital because it is too expensive. I’ve seen too many teenage girls having a baby when they were children again. I’ve seen too many elderly people die because they couldn’t afford their drugs for the heart or the lungs. I’ve seen to many people undiagnosed because they were afraid to be ruined if they were going to see a doctor. 

This project is a way to help these people, to show them medicine can be reachable, that doctors care about them, that they are not social outcasts. A clinic could help to create a link between Bonaventure and people from the disadvantaged neighborhoods, it could connect people from different areas. And beyond medicine, it could develop mutual aid networks. And redefine the definition of medicine in these people’s minds. Because to change things, we have to show doctors are not all about money, the real purpose of a doctor is to help people.”  
As she finished her speech, she went to sit at the table. Neil looked at her and whispered “thank you” as she was taking a pen in her hand. She was proud of not having drowned in front of so many people. Talking in public was not one of her specialty. She was much more at ease when she was in an OR. 

“Let me introduce you to Mrs. Herrera and Daisy from the Modesto free clinic.” Neil said as the two women entered the room. He asked them to come to explain the committee how their clinic was born and how it worked now. As they ended their contributions, Neil concluded the presentation with some numbers and solid facts. He thanked the committee for listening to them and went back next to his friends. The presentation was over. Now it was question time… and he didn’t know if he felt better or more stressed. 

After a 15-minute break, Neil came back to the room. He could exchange some words with Audrey during this moment and she gave him some advice regarding Mrs. Lynch. This little woman was tough, tenacious. She even could be tedious when it came to give money but she loved knowing the facts and having all the details. He just needed to be calm and always answered all her tricky questions with smart and well-thought answers. 

They were barely in place that Mrs. Lynch was already asking her first question. “Dr. Melendez why did you choose Evergreen neighborhood? It’s pretty far from downtown and from Bonaventure. And yet, you ask us money to finance your project… Sorry but I’m a little puzzled here.”

“To be honest, it was an opportunity. I didn’t think about a neighborhood in particular at first. I just wanted to help people. And then, I was told that the city hall rented warehouses there. I got in touch with someone who knew the place well. I got information about Evergreen and discovered it was a place so near us and in the same time so far from us when it came to medical access! I went to visit a warehouse and this was the moment I understood we were in the right place.”

Mrs. Lynch lowered her head and wrote something on her pad. It was impossible to say if the answers were the ones she wanted to hear. As she finished, she looked at Neil again. “Why this late vocation for charity? You could have done something way before! It could only be a temporary desire…”

“I could… I should have… But before I was – sorry for my rude language – a jerk. I was arrogant and only thought about me and myself. And then I met people who have helped me to grow, to become more mature, to become another man, a better doctor, a better surgeon, a better person…”

He stopped for a while and grabbed Claire‘s hands under the table to press it. He wouldn’t be there if she didn’t show him what it was like to be a benevolent person, if she didn’t remind him why he got into medicine. She grabbed his fingers and pressed them. She knew he was talking about her and he was moved she understood she was the person who made him who he was today. 

For a moment, his look met Audrey’s one and he knew she knew about the feelings he had for Claire. He knew he shouldn’t have felt this way for a resident. But she was special. And his heart, his body, his brain wanted to be with her. And he didn’t manage to fight all the feelings he had for her. He did try but it always had been a failure… He needed to talk with Audrey, to tell her nothing had happened, nothing will happen unless… He came out of his mind and continued his speech. 

“This earthquake acted on me like an electroshock. When I woke up after, I was lost, I had no idea what had happened to me. This was when I had understood my life will never be the same. I understood the importance of having someone to talk to, someone to tell about my fears and doubts. And this is why I want to open this clinic. To show people they are not alone, that they can be fixed or helped.”

“And what about the workshops you talked about earlier?” 

Neil was speechless for a moment. He was tired because of the previous questions. Claire, Morgan and Alex shared a conniving look and took his place. They explained how Alex was ready to take in charge a workshop about learning people the first aid techniques. Claire talked about her project to handle young girls to learn about the means of contraception and the danger of self-abortion. Finally, Morgan talked about her future class to learn people with a disability to apprehend their new conditions.

As the session was reaching its end, Audrey and Marcus helped the project by giving their blessings. Both were enthusiastic to have a clinic connected to Bonaventure hospital. Even if their opinions were only consultative, Neil felt confident that his two oldest friends supported the project. Then they were asked to leave the room to let the jury decide if they kept the project or not. 

Alex and Morgan left for a moment. They needed coffee. They proposed to bring something for Claire and Neil. “Please thank you! I need a double moka right now. And with a lot of cream!”  
“A sugar–free peach green tea for me, thanks!”

As they walked away in the corridor, Neil and Claire sat in the bench to wait for the jury’s decision. She could see how anxious he was. “You did all you could. You defended the project like hell. If they didn’t pick it up, so they are the dumbest people on the planet!”

He laughed. She was the only one in the world who could make him laugh in moments like this. And they started to wait. She didn’t know what to do to help him to get better. He couldn’t stop moving his legs in a series of stressful jolts. She took his hand in hers and pressed. Her hand seemed so tiny in his. But still, it seemed like she had already been there. And she liked to feel his skin against hers. And they remained there hand in hand while waiting as if the outside world did not even exist.


	25. Chapter 25 - Decisions

Chapter 25: Decisions

Morgan and Alex came back from Starbucks 15 minutes later, the hands full of cups and muffins. They were talking and stopped next to Claire and Neil who didn’t even notice them. Morgan and Alex saw right away their hands clutched. She winked at him, he smiled at her.

“Ok, ok, you were right. I shouldn’t have bet against you!”

“You learn well my dear. Now give me my 10 dollars!” She held her hand to ask for the money. “I told you Melendaire will be very close when we’ll be back form Starbucks. I don’t even understand how they are not together yet!”

“I’ve my idea on this and stop calling them like this.” And he gave her a mischievous look. She laughed. She really liked the way they were. Their complicity was growing day after day. Their previous rivalry had turned into camaraderie and she liked the new relationship they were building.

“Tell me more.”

“Not here. They are just next to us.”

“You could dance with a banana hat on your head right in front of them at the moment, they wouldn’t even notice. When they’re together, it’s like time stops. And believe me, I’ve spent a lot of time with them when I was taking care of Neil while he was recovering from his multiple surgeries. They don’t even pay attention to anything or anyone right now. So tell me what you think!”

Alex smiled. “I’m sure nothing will happen till she’s not an attending. He has too much moral. He won’t even allow himself to fall for her before she’s his equal… Even if we all know he has fallen for years ago…”

Morgan nodded at him. They shared the same feeling about their friends. They just hoped one day they will go over all these moral and social worries to reach the place where they should already have been for a while. They dropped the cups and muffins on the table next to them. Claire thanked them, Neil didn’t even notice to what was going on, too far away in his mind.

Claire and Neil remained hands in hands until Audrey and Marcus came to look for them because the jury finally decided about the fate of the project. At this precise moment, Neil knew that his friends had seen what Claire and him were holding hands but he preferred to remain impassive.. It was not of their business.

He came back in the meeting room, followed by Claire, Morgan and Alex. The moment of truth was there. They were all stressed. They sat in front of Mrs. Lynch and waited for her to talk. She didn’t do it right now, letting the tension settle in the room. And she seemed to like it. After long minutes, she eventually spoke:

“We examine your file with the jury, we also talked about your presentation and your project. We appreciate that you chose St Bonaventure hospital to finance it. Some elements are missing from your file. For instance the part about human resources is pretty short, not developed enough. How will you manage your clinic if only the four of you work there, when you all have other jobs… Except for Mrs. Reznick who will be a full-time attending from what I understand. Excuse me but this is really not a lot of people.”

Neil answered immediately. “I know but once we will be assured we have money to finance our project, we will hire a secretary to coordinate all the activities of the clinic. Then we will hire a receptionist.”

Mrs. Lynch agreed with a nod. “Well, I see you already think about it… This is interesting to see you’ve anticipated this problem. So why don’t you write it in the file? This is awkward from you, I mean… So anyway, I have to admit the financial side of the file is pretty well-written. As the location one. And the partnership you talked about with the city hall is interesting…”

She once again paused. She looked at Neil, Claire, Morgan and Alex slowly to analyze each of their faces.

“Mr. Melendez, the jury has validated your project. Congratulations.”

Neil didn’t know what to do at this precise moment, he was like paralyzed. All the energy he put in this project paid off. He stood from his chair and turned to Claire. Without thinking, she jumped in his arms and he lifted her up from the ground. He pressed her against him. “We did it, we did it!” Claire whispered in his ear. He did the same. “Yes, we did, thank you for fighting with me”. Once the euphoria was passed, she released her embrace. He dropped her on the floor.

They were both embarrassed by their behavior so they went to talk with the board committee. He shook Mrs. Lynch’s hand when she came to see him. It was real, the clinic was real. They succeeded. He went to thank Audrey and Marcus for helping him while Claire, Morgan and Alex thanked the other members of the committee. Audrey came close to Neil and asked him to talk privately.

“You wanted to congratulate me even more or…”

She cut him. “Neil you need to make things clear with Claire. I saw you during the hearing, I saw you in the corridor and everyone saw you a few minutes ago. You do know rumors spread quickly. I’d already warned you before your accident… I do it again. There’s something remotely inappropriate going on between you two. You can’t tell me otherwise. Maybe last time you managed to escape from this. Not now, not anymore.”

She left the room and let him puzzled in the middle of the meeting room. He took him some minutes to clear his mind. It was time to celebrate their victory. His own sentimental drama could wait till tomorrow. He invited the people in the room to join him in his office. He had ordered some food and drinks to thank all the people who helped and supported him. And now it was a way to celebrate their birth of the clinic. 

They spent all lunch to talk and share the feelings they had during the hearing. And also the challenges that waited for them to build the clinic for real. Neil was gonna take in charge the lead of the clinic while Morgan will be the person in charge of the activities and the workshops. Claire and Alex will end their residencies in a few weeks and then they’ll have more time to help her with the workshops. In the same time, Neil will have the time to hire at least two people to run the clinic with him and Morgan.

He let the members of the committee to the buffet and joined Mrs .Herrera and Daisy who were eating in a corner of the room. “I could never thank you enough for all your good advice, the time you gave me and all the questions you answered. For sure, I could have never done this without you.”

The two women assured him they were very happy to have helped and they had been honored to be invited to his final hearing. “We helped a lot of people before but no one has ever invited us to their hearing. So thank you to you for this! Really hope your project will be a success. But I have no doubt about that. And by the way, if you need anything, I’ll be glad to help you. Really, do not hesitate.”

Mrs. Herrera shook his hand and left the office. Daisy took her chance and hugged him. Neil was kind of surprised but he appreciated the spontaneity of the woman. “Wish you all the luck you deserve. And be nice with this tiny lady here that you seem to like so much.” She winked at him before joining Mrs. Herrera in the corridor.

As the day went on, more and more people were leaving the room, but not before they all congratulated Neil. Claire, Morgan and Alex spent the afternoon to talk with Andrews and Mrs. Lynch. They shared their visions of the clinics and all the ideas they had for the workshops. Alex was surprised to discover that after all, Mrs. Lynch, was not so much evil. She could even be some kind of nice. And he was even more puzzled when she confessed she was the one who convinced the other board members to finance Dr. Melendez’s project.

At the end of the day, after everyone was gone, Claire, Neil, Morgan and Alex took some times together to let the anxiety and the stress of the last few days disappear. It was so good to be between friends, just hanging out and took some pleasant times, away from rough and freaking days. Alex was the first to go. He had to go to the airport to pick up his son, Callen, who was coming to San Jose for the next two weeks. Then it was Morgan who had to go because Santa Clara’s clinic just called her. There was an emergency to handle and she was the only available GP tonight.

“I’m afraid I’m the only one left.” Claire said, laughing. She started to tidy the office, gathering all the empty bottles and plates. The more she fulfilled the trash bag, the more the room seemed to look like an office again. It took almost two hours to Neil and Claire to tidy the whole room. The party in Neil’s office was now an old memory. Everything was like before. Except that now, they had a clinic to build and run.

“Thanks for helping me but if you have anything to do, don’t feel forced to stay with me.”

He smiled at her. In fact, he was glad he was alone with her. He cherished all the moments he spent with her. He didn’t try to hide it. He couldn’t anyway. Spending time with Claire made him feel more alive, happier.

“I think my book will forgive me if I arrive late tonight.”

She put the pieces of furniture when they were used to be with Neil’s help and finally cleaned the desk where some people had put their glasses. He took the trash bags and brought them to the bin at the first floor. When he came back to his office, Claire was seated in the sofa, the phone in her hand.

“Can I offer you a last drink?”

He was holding her a glass of white wine. He had a glass of sparkling water in his.

“With pleasure!” She took the glass and followed Neil to the balcony. It was good to only be the two of them. Just like before when he was just out of the hospital. They enjoyed this moment to talk heart to heart about the project and the last two years. Claire couldn’t hide her emotions. She let out some tears.

“It had been a quite complicated two years for me. I’ve been through difficult times in my life but these last two years have been pretty intense. I mean … I had to complete my residency, chose my specialty and … I’ve almost lost you...”

They shared a long, meaningful look. No word needed. Just this connection they couldn’t explain, this connection which had always existed and that the others were jealous of. Neil came closer, Claire did the same. They felt the urge to be near to the other, to fell the warmth of the other, to be in contact. They both knew it was forbidden. You couldn’t be so close of your superior or of your subordinate. But their bodies told them otherwise. They became even closer and they finally kissed.

It was like a firework when their tongues eventually met and started to dance slowly together. He enjoyed her sweetness, she was captivated by his strength. Their mouths remained connected for a long while, only taken a few second to breathe till Claire stopped the moment.

“I can’t, I just can’t… Not now… I’m so sorry, Neil. I just don’t want people to see me as the resident who succeeds because she kissed her boss. I want to be the resident who becomes a doctor because she deserves it. Because she worked hard. Because she is good at what she does...” 

Her voice broke. Neil’s hand touched her chin and made her look into his eyes. 

“I’ll wait for you, Claire Browne. Whatever the time it will take, I’ll wait for you.”

And they stayed together eyes in the eyes for long minutes before they both gathered their stuff and went home. At least, they were aware of their feelings for each other. Only the timing was not on their side.


	26. Chapter 26 - Aftermath

Chapter 26: Aftermath

When they got home, Claire and Neil went each other in their bedroom. They were both feeling a little awkward after this long-awaited kiss. Neither of them regretted what had just happened. They both wanted to share this moment, their moment. It was not an impulse. It was the result of years of underlying hidden feelings which finally came to the surface. 

Except, Claire would have loved it happened later when she was truly a doctor. Her graduation was in only two weeks and she didn’t want people to think she had succeeded as a surgeon because she was favored by Neil. She had worked too hard for this, even when the odds were not in her favor. She couldn’t screw up now, even if she felt something very deep, strong and different for Neil. 

She put her pajamas and opened the door of her room to check if Neil was still here. Good news: he was not anymore in the living room and she did need a glass of water. She was so thirsty! She sneaked out of her room quickly, grabbed a bottle of water in the kitchen and ran to her bed in a few seconds. All she needed now was a good night of sleep. And she hoped to make it because she had talked a lot about her nightmares with her psychologist. She helped her to understand what they meant: she told her everything was linked to her harsh childhood and her deep anxiety to end her life alone and never be loved by someone as her mother predicted it, to lose everyone she loved as she had already lost her mom, Jared and even Kane.

On the morning, she was ready to confront what had happened last evening. Maybe she was not, but she had to. She had no other choice. Neil was right here in the kitchen, in front of her, drinking his tea. 

“Hey…”

He seemed as ill at ease as she. He could barely tell some words. “Hey Claire… Do you… sleep well?”

She felt he was embarrassed. She was too but she didn’t want to let things like this. Especially when they shared so many good moments… Including the one of last night. 

“Well…Thank you. And you?” She let her voice go down while she was looking for her next words. “I owe you an explanation for last night…”

“You do own me nothing, Claire… I’m sorry for letting me down, that’s all…I shouldn’t have…” 

He lowered his head. She took his chin with her fingers and stood up his face so she could look at him in the eyes. “I do own you my safe mind and my sanity. Without you, I’d have sunk after my mother’s death.”

“And I’d have sunk after the earthquake if you have not been there for me, so we’re even. You saved me the way I saved you before.”

She put her hands on his torso and didn’t unlock her eyes from his. He finally conceded to his deepest envy and grabbed her in his arms. She didn’t resist him pulling her to him. She even let her whole body follow the lead he was given to her. She placed her head on his warm chest, hearing to his beating heart and put her arms around him, holding him tightly. He let his face met her hair and his nose breath her perfume. He finally put his head on hers and her arms around her. They remained embraced in the middle of the apartment for quite a time before separating, their cheeks blushing.

“Time to go to work, I guess.”

“Indeed.”

While she was driving to the hospital, they stayed silent. They didn’t know why. Maybe a little of embarrassment and also the need to keep in mind this precious moment shared just a few minutes earlier. They took separate ways as soon as they arrived in Bonaventure. Neil had a new patient to see and things to handle for the clinic with Morgan during lunch. And Claire was in surgery for a good part of her day. 

She joined Dr. Lim at the 7th floor to take a look to new patients’ files. They had just been admitted yesterday and she already knew it was gonna be a busy week. Now that she was almost graduated Audrey let her operate on her own when the cases were not too complicated. So she could assist to the meetings of the board committee. Today was one of these days. Claire sat in Dr. Lim’s office and started to read the files she let her on the desk. Most of them were marked with post-its. On them, there were some advice and observations written by Audrey. 

Claire selected the cases which seemed to be the most urgent. She had to join Audrey for lunch so they could decide if her choices were relevant. But before this, she had to scrub in: the ER had just beeped her, a young man had just arrived with a metal tub in his thigh. She ran to the OR and talked with the ER doctor for him to give her all the info she needed to operate quickly and safely. 

She ended the surgery just for lunch. She went to Dr. Lim’s office to pick the files and joined her at the cafeteria. As she was gonna sit with Audrey, she saw Neil and Morgan at a table talking about the clinic. She stopped for a while just to say hello and ran to Audrey, who was waiting for her. They quickly shared their opinions about the cases and concluded Claire’s choices were good. “You become better every day, Dr. Browne. I’m impressed. Soon, you’ll run this hospital and I could go to Cancun to take some days off… Have to go, I have a big meeting with the director of the hospital this afternoon regarding the budget of our service. Wish me luck.”

Claire waved at Audrey as she left the place. She took some times to finish her meal. Morgan joined her; Neil was already gone. He had a new case on his own and a surgery planned in the afternoon. As they talked about everything, Claire was called to her own duty when her beeper reminded her she had a surgery to perform in less than 30 minutes. 

“Had to leave you but if you’re free this weekend, we can go and make some shopping together?”

Morgan agreed. It was a good idea and she won’t refuse to buy her a new dress or new shoes. Or both. Claire asked her to call at the end of the week before vanishing in the hospital corridor. She was already focused on her surgery in the afternoon: she had to fix an internal injury on bowels caused by toothpicks! Her patient had a bad habit to chew these little wood sticks when she was mad and sometimes she had swallowed some of them and today they were almost piercing her intestine. She went to pre op room to get prepared and entered her favorite playground, the OR. 

She opened Mrs. Jane’s abdomen and fixed the part of the intestine which were suffering from severe bleedings. She cauterized all the leaking and stitched the wounds. It was so easy to do so on her own. It was as if she had done these gestures all her life. She didn’t think, she just did. And it felt so good. 

As she was finishing her surgery on Mrs. Jane, she saw Nurse Petringa came in a hurry in her OR. She seems to be panicked and asked her to come as rapidly as she could with her. Claire seemed puzzled. What did require her presence so quickly? Nurse Petringa’s face which used to be so smiling was now stressful, anxious. She led Claire to another OR where she could see Shaun alone. He was focused on the patient lying on the table. From the window, nothing was weird. Except that when she entered the OR, she found Neil seating on the ground like paralyzed. He was shaking and his look was lost in the empty space. 

“I call you because Dr. Murphy asked me to do so. And honestly, I really think you’re the best person to solve this. Dr. Murphy, Dr. Browne is here as you asked.”

Shaun turned to Claire quickly as he was almost done with the surgery. “Claire, thank you for coming.”

“Shaun, what happened? Why is Dr. Melendez sitting on the floor and seems so terrorized?!?”

“Good question. We were operating on the patient and at a moment, I will say it was 32 minutes ago, he just stopped and felt on the floor and since he has not moved. And he has not said a word. But as he really likes to talk with you, I thought it was a good idea to call you. And as I am in the middle of a surgery, I asked to a nurse to come and get you.”

“Ok… Thank you Shaun… Can you tell me more? So I can help Dr. Melendez.”

As she was talking with Shaun, she saw Neil was getting worse. Without even thinking, she threw on the ground, sat behind him and grabbed him in her arms. She pressed him against her body, just for him to know he was not alone. She was there as she always had been. She put her head in his neck and whispered in his ear. They stayed like this for what seemed hours to her. She couldn’t say how much time it took before Neil’s tetany stopped. She could feel the weight of the looks surrounding them but she didn’t care. She wanted to help him and that was all that mattered. 

Shaun ended the surgery on his own and commented on every move he was making, as a way to reassure him. Nurses Petringa and Johnson assisted him till the patient was gone to the recovery room. Claire admired his calm, his way to stay focused on his point, no matter what happened around him. She was sure he will be a great surgeon. He had all the skills to be one. Then he left the room followed by Nurses Petringa and Johnson and all the staff who worked in the OR. Claire remained alone with Neil stuck in her arms on the OR floor. Everyone was gone. They were only the two of them. And she preferred it stayed this way. 

Minutes after minutes, Neil regained consciousness and his panic attack was soon a bad dream. At first, he didn’t say a word. He was probably still confused and embarrassed by the situation. So Claire didn’t say one either. He finally stood up and looked all around him. 

“They’re all gone. Surgery is over for almost an hour now. Shaun did very well. Do not worry about this. You already have enough in your mind…”

He looked at her, then lowered his head. He didn’t like she saw him this way. He was better and he didn’t know why he had been overwhelmed by emotions and stress when he saw all this blood. He couldn’t explain what had just happened. He was there, he was operating and then he lost every control over his life, his body, his mind and he fell hardly on the floor. The bruise he was feeling on his leg was there to remind him how hard he reached the floor. And then it was a blackout. Until he woke up in Claire’s arms. 

“You had a panic attack... I know… At least, I imagine… it’s scary but it’s completely understandable. You’ve gone through hard times and this spleenectomy reminded you of your own nightmare after the earthquake… You’ve just freaked out. It happened. It’s not pretty but it’s life. And that’s why make life, life. You don’t have to be ashamed, Neil… Even if you are one of the most gifted surgeons I have ever worked with, you’re also a human being. And sometimes, human beings break…”

He turned to her. She was right even if it was hard to admit it. By chance, she was always there to help him, to comfort him, to show him the right path to follow. 

“Thanks for being here.” 

It was the only words he could say before leaving the room. She remained alone. She knew he was embarrassed and shameful. It was better if he was alone for a while. She’ll wait to talk to him. So she came back to her work: the patients’ files and surgery reports were waiting for her. 

Neil walked fast to his office, following the walls. He didn’t want to see anyone right now. He was so mad at himself, at his fears, at his anguish. He just wanted to be alone, and also to forget about this nightmare. But it was not what the universe had decided for him: as he entered his office, the phone was ringing. He grabbed the receiver and answered. It was the HR; they wanted to see him at the end of the day to talk about what happened in the OR…


	27. Chapter 27 - Proof

Chapter 27 -Proof

He was on his way to the HR office. It was already 6PM and all he wanted was to go home, take a long and hot shower and hide under his quilt. But before that, he needed to talk with the HR. And he was not ready for this. What happened to him in the OR in the afternoon really shook him. He was still shivering. He gathered all the courage he had and knocked at the door of the HR office. 

“Come in” It was the voice of Lizzie, Mrs. Cooper’s assistant. “Oh nice to see you, Dr. Melendez. Right on time. Mrs. Cooper is still on the phone. May I offer you something? Tea, coffee, water?”

Neil politely declined. He was so stressed he even had troubles to swallow. He sat and waited for Mrs. Cooper to be available. The few minutes he waited seemed to be endless. When Mrs. Cooper appeared at the door, he didn’t know if he was relieved or even more anxious. 

“Dr. Melendez. Thank you for coming. Please come in.”

He stood up and entered her office. He sat in the only chair in front of her desk. She sat and looked at him for a while before telling a word. He was more and more ill-at-ease. Eventually, she asked him her first question. 

“Are you alright Dr. Melendez? I’ve been informed of what had happened in the OR this early afternoon.”

Neil lowered his head. He perfectly knew why he was here. He just didn’t know what to answer, what to do. He remained silent, waiting for Mrs. Cooper’s next move.   
“I see… You’re not talkative about this. Yet, you will need to explain to me why you collapsed in the middle of the OR. If you can’t assure the safety of your own patients, I’m sorry but you can’t be an active surgeon anymore.”

These words deeply hurt Neil. Being a surgeon was one of the best parts of his life and he didn’t want to see it fade away because he had screwed up just once. He fought what had happened to him after the earthquake, he could fight the HR director. 

“I panicked. I don’t know what had happened to me. It never happened to me before. I know I totally screwed up this afternoon and I promise you it will never be the case again. I’m going to work on myself, maybe going to a psychologist and finding how to overpass my fears… My anxiety connected to the earthquake and my condition. But please don’t take away from me my career as a surgeon. This is what counts the most for me…”

“I hear you, Dr. Melendez but you understand that I can’t let one of our surgeons panicked in one of our OR and do nothing. The nurses were really afraid. Fortunately, Dr. Murphy did his job well and finished the procedures on his own as he’s almost graduated. But imagine, it happens with a young resident with no experience at all. How do you think he or she will react? What will happen? You understand I can’t let another moment like this take place in Bonaventure…” 

“I do understand you but you also know I’m one of the best surgeons of this whole hospital. I had some troubles in the past two years. I was ill, I still am. I’m disabled but it has nothing to do with my work. I’ve evolved, I’m adapting every day to my new condition. I even had the crazy idea to create a clinic to help people who had problems to deal with their disabilities… Or people who had troubles to afford the medical help they need. I’m not telling you than what happened this afternoon was nothing – because it definitively was something – I’m just telling you that for once I screwed up and it was bad.”

She interrupted him. “So you do recognize you’ve made a mistake…”

“I won’t call this a mistake. It was bad, pretty bad when you think of it. But it was unconscious. I’d rather call this a pretty inconvenient timing. Let me do another spleenectomy tomorrow. I have one already scheduled. Come and observe me during the surgery. And if I screw up again, then you take away from me the title of active surgeon. If I don’t, then you will see it was only a misunderstanding.”

Mrs. Cooper looked at him for a while, silent. She was thoughtful, she was analyzing what he had just said. He was wondering if it was a good sign. It could… And in the same time, it could not. All was topsy-turvy in his mind. It was as if all his neurons were not connected anymore. Until she opened her mouth.   
“I agree with your offer. I will come tomorrow to check on you during your surgery. I will observe you from the gallery. Then we will talk again and decide what will be the best for your career.”

Neil left Mrs. Cooper’s office a few minutes after they came to an agreement. Tonight was gonna be a hard night. But he knew he could do the surgery on his own and not having a new panic attack. What happened this afternoon was just the result of old fears coming up to the surface. But he knew he shouldn’t be afraid anymore. Andrews told him he was healed for sure. As did Dr. Alonso. He had nothing to be afraid of. 

He came back home using the car. Claire was spending the evening with Morgan, which was a perfect timing. She will be come late and at that time, he will already be in his bedroom. And he won’t be sleeping. But it didn’t matter. Claire didn’t need to know what was going on with the HR. She will probably freak out and he didn’t need this right now. And by the way, she had already given him so much, she needed some time just for her. 

As he was thinking too much, he had troubles to find sleep and only slept a few hours. He left the apartment early. Claire was still sleeping and was off duty today. He took the car and drove to the hospital. He went hiding in his office and worked on his patient’s file. He needed to be well-aware of the least details in it. He pictures the surgery in his head. And it was finally time. 

He went to the pre op room, scrubbed in and entered the OR. It was show time and he was determined to prove to Mrs. Cooper, who was watching from the gallery, he was the best surgeon of this hospital. He took a deep breath and made the first cut. He isolated the bleeding spleen from the rest of the digestive system and let Shaun take the lead on the surgery. He helped him to cauterize some unexpected wounds and let him cut and get out the organ. 

Once it was done, he helped him to ligature the vessels and Shaun closed. In less than three hours, the patient was in the recovery room and Neil and Shaun were out of the OR. As usual, Shaun left the room and went directly to his next activity. All was so well-planned in his head, he couldn’t let anything troubled his routine.   
“See you this afternoon, Shaun. We have to change Mr. Raven’s pacemaker.”

“Ok… Is it a good thing I come to your office before the surgery?”

“Of course. Come at 1PM. We will work on the file and the procedure.”

“Ok.” And Shaun disappeared in the corridor. His brain was already thinking to his next patient, his next mystery to solve. Neil joined Mrs. Cooper in the gallery. She was waiting for him, seated on the bench. 

« You’d been very accurate during your surgery today… I have to say I understand why they all call you the best surgeon of San Jose Bonaventure… Dr. Andrews strongly defended your case this morning when he came to my office to explain how it will be a mistake and a great loss if you were kicked out of the hospital. He told me how you successfully separated these conjoined twins a few years ago and also how you offered a dying woman 6 more months to live for her to fix all her stuff.”  
Neil was flattered Marcus came to Mrs. Cooper to talk in his favor. But he was also embarrassed. He didn’t want to be the doctor who needed help from another colleague. He wanted to be the doctor who proved this woman he was gifted. At this moment, he understood what Claire had told him the night they kissed. She wanted to be recognized for her skills and her qualities. She couldn’t let anyone think she was where she was because she had been helped and favored by one of the attendings. 

“You seem to be a hell of a surgeon, Dr. Melendez. So why did you screw up yesterday? I’m very curious… Why did you fall yesterday? More than two years after the earthquake… Almost one year after you came back to work, almost six months after you’ve been operating again… It seems like a wrong timing. Don’t you think?”  
Neil lowered his head. This night, he understood why he fell down yesterday. But he didn’t want to say anything to anyone… In one way, it scared him because more than two years after the earthquake, he was still traumatized and he had no power over this. For a lifetime, he had control over what was going on in his life and IT happened. And since, a part of his life slipped away from him. And for a control freak like he was, he was very frightening. 

“Anything to say, Dr. Melendez?”

“Well… Yesterday marked the second anniversary of my device surgery… The day I officially became a disabled person… This idea was on my mind for weeks… And then I had to make this spleenectomy and it reminded me of all the mess I’ve been through. And I think my brain just blanked… To be fair, I think I needed to completely blank to move on with my life. It’s like my brain rebooted itself to start over. But as you just saw, I’m fine by now. I’m ready to move forwards.”  
“So no need to talk about your panic attack again… What about your relationship with your former resident, Dr. Claire Browne? I’ve heard you’re very close to her since the earthquake accident. Or should I say since before. I’ve seen Dr. Morgan Reznick, who was your resident at the time, filed a favoritism complaint against you because to use her own words, you were too close to Dr. Browne and always encouraged her ideas over the others’ theories.”

Neil was not prepared to this question. He didn’t see it coming but yet, he had to answer to the question. Or it might be too suspicious.

“I don’t understand why you want to talk about this but I have to admit Dr. Browne had become a close friend since the earthquake. She helped me a lot during my recovery. So did Dr. Reznick, who by the way, has become one of my closest friends too.”

Mrs. Cooper gave a faint smile to Neil. “Dr. Melendez, be honest. There’s something more between Dr. Browne and you, right? All the staff told me about the way she came to calm you down yesterday, like she was the only one who knew how to do it. And she did since you’re here and your last surgery was successful. I understand she’s a very close friend. But don’t lie to me, she’s more than this…”

“Nothing happened between me and Dr. Browne, I swear. I’m one of her attendings and it’ll be inappropriate.”

“But you have thought about it…”

“Never. I will never compromise her promising career. She’s too good at what she does, too skilled not to be recognized by her colleagues for the great surgeon she’s becoming.”

Neil lowered his head. He might have said too much. He had said too much. He could see it in the eyes of Mrs. Cooper. The severity in her eyes had moved on to a kind of softness. He couldn’t really explain what he was seeing right now. 

“Just be careful, Dr. Melendez. You’re pretty gifted. She seems to be too. I read her file. You’re right. She’s one of the most promising surgeons you’ve trained here. Other people have seen how you both acted. They all know you two are special friends… They all talk about your special connection. Just be sure that if one day you start something with her, she is an attending too… People will always talk, people will almost spread rumors, people will always be jealous. Just be sure to be able to answer them with strong arguments… For me, the incident is closed. Goodbye, Dr. Melendez.”

She stood up and left the gallery, letting Neil lost in his thoughts. The whole world knew about Claire and him and their special connection. They hid well yet. He didn’t understand how he came to this situation. All he knew was that it was out of the question that Claire will hear a word about this conversation. She was only a few days from her graduation and he didn’t want to ruin everything with his uncontrolled feelings.


	28. Chapter 28 : Graduation

Chapter 28 : Graduation 

It was finally the day, her day. Shaun’s and Park’s day too! They did it, they were finally true doctors! Today was their graduation day which marked the end of their residency and specialty. Tomorrow, they will be true doctors. No more attendings behind their backs. They will be the attendings! It was a little scary when you thought of it. But Claire was sure it was the beginning of a new journey. 

When she talked about this day, a few weeks ago with Park and Shaun during lunch, Shaun had been more own-to-earth as usual. “This is the natural way of studies, Claire. We can’t be a resident for your whole life. There are other residents coming next. This is the circle of life.” 

She liked him for this. He was direct. He couldn’t be otherwise. That was what made him Shaun. And she couldn’t live without him by her side. He was his best friend, the little brother she never had and she wanted to protect against the ugliness of the world. “You’re right, Shaun. I’m just nostalgic of it. This is like a part of my life has just reached the end of the way. I know a new one will be starting soon but I’m kind of sad I won’t ever be a student or a resident anymore.”

Park smiled at her. She knew he was feeling the same way. They became very close in the last months, since he had been working on the clinic project. She discovered a fragile and sensitive man who loved laughing at his own jokes. Being graduated in the time as them was like an honor for Claire. They had been together since the beginning, through their best and worst moments. And still no one was judging the others. They were just colleagues, doctors, friends, family. 

On the afternoon, as she was taking care of a post-op control for a patient, Audrey came to see her. “Could I see you a few minutes outside?” Claire finished the last checks and apologized for leaving so soon. She’ll be back later to answer all the questions he could wonder about the recovery and the treatment. She left the room and joined Audrey who was waiting for her at the nurses’ desk. 

“Dr. Lim, you wanted to see me?”

“Yes, Claire, I would like you to meet me tonight in my office. There’s a lot I would like to discuss with you and I don’t want to do so while you’re on shift. Is 7 ok with you?”

Claire agreed. She finished work at 6. So it let her time to fulfill her patients’ files and to get dressed other than with a scrub. “See you later, Claire.” And Audrey vanished at the end of the corridor, leaving Claire both curious and frightened. Not to think about this secret meeting, she quickly came back to work. She had to explain her patient he will always be hopping because he cut one of his nerves with a saw and she had not been able to totally fix it. Then she had to tell another patient he needed another surgery because she was not able to remove all the dead tissues around his femoral aorta. Hard day! 

Eventually, the end of her shift came rapidly. She went to Neil’s office to be in a peaceful place. He was in the OR with Shaun for at least 2 more hours. She completed her ongoing files and prepared the files for tomorrow. She had just the time to put her trousers and her blouse. At 7, she was in Dr. Lim’s office. She will never forget this day. She had never been convoked in the office of a superior before. Except when she had this argument with Neil about him willing to save the world and finally depriving a woman from her uterus… 

When she entered the office, Audrey was there with Dr. Andrews. Why was he there with her? Had she done something wrong? Was she fired? Claire was already so stressed because of the graduation. She didn’t need this amount of additional anxiety. 

« Dr. Lim, Dr. Andrews. »

« Claire, just in time. Take a sit. We have a lot to discuss. I’ve asked Marcus to join us. It could be easier to talk about some subjects. »

Claire was more and more stressed. Why on earth was she here? She thought it would only be her and Audrey. And it was already too stressful for her. And now Dr. Andrews was there too. She thought about her last surgeries. Everything went well. Unless one of the patients had complained about something without telling her. It was weird because Mrs. David, Mr. Bishop and Mrs. Parker were all so nice… Too many ideas ran through her minds in such few time. She was brought to reality by Dr. Andrews’ voice.

"Claire, are you with us? You seem distracted."

"Sorry, I'm just tired. It's been tiring days at the hospital. But you know what I mean."

She gave them a faint smile. She didn't want them to see how anxious she was inside. Audrey was the first to talk. She knew Claire was ill-at-ease. She was working almost every day with her for more than one year. She could say she was not good at the moment. She broke the silence.

"Claire, if I ask you to come and meet me tonight, it's because I have an important offer for you. I would like to be more invested in the hospital life and be less present in the OR... Technically, I'm not leaving my job as a surgeon. I just say I want to be more in the background. I want to take in charge some administrative files for Bonaventure, which I can do now because I'm a full-time attending. So here is my question: would you like to take my place as the trauma leading surgeon of this hospital?"

Claire was surprised. It was the last thing she was expecting to hear. She was not even graduated yet and she was offered a big job with a lot of responsibilities. Of course, she was flattered. But why did she propose this to her? She was so young for the job, so inexperienced, so new as a real doctor. She remained silent for a while. 

“So Claire, what are you thinking of this offer?” Marcus asked her. 

“Uh… I’m flattered… Really flattered. Of course, I’ll take this offer. This is a huge opportunity. But why me? I mean I’ve just been graduated. I’m pretty new….”

“Not so new, Dr. Browne. You’ve been in Bonaventure for 5 years by now. You know how the hospital works. You have been working in cardiothoracic and trauma services. You know all the nurses and I hear they like you a lot. You’re one of their favorite doctors. And you know many surgeons. That’s an advantage. And by the way, you’re one of the best residents we‘ve ever had. I don’t know if you know this Dr. Browne, but you’re pretty gifted.” 

Claire blushed at what Dr. Andrews had just said to her. He considered her as one of his colleagues. She was not a resident anymore. She was Claire Browne, trauma surgeon at San Bonaventure hospital and future lead surgeon of the trauma service. 

“So this is a yes?” Audrey asked her with a smile. Claire nodded and smiled. She was going to work at San Bonaventure as an attending. No need to stress anymore. She was anxious when Park told her he was gonna be hired as a full-time neurosurgeon in Glassman’s service, starting next month. Glassman was about to retire and he needed someone to replace him. Park was the perfect fit. And she asked where she could go from next month… Bonaventure only hired the best students and she was afraid to have to go far away from this hospital she liked so much, from her friends, from Neil…

“Very happy you accept this offer, Claire! I can call you with your first name now. We’re gonna be colleagues by the end of the month. By the way, there’s something more I would like to ask you. “

Claire frowned. What was Andrews gonna ask her? He had this mischievous look she couldn’t decipher. And she didn’t know if she could love this or not.   
“I would like to ask you if you could say some words at the graduation ceremony. You’ve been through a lot for the last 5 years and you’ve succeeded anyway. Your journey to become a doctor is pretty inspiring and could help other students who are in a bad place. Would you agree?”

“Of course… I mean… Yes. It’ll be an honor…”

Claire was dazed but tried to hide her feelings. She took a leave from Andrews and Audrey and joined the bus station. She was coming home alone tonight. She got in the bus and sat just behind the driver. She lost time reading all the text messages she had received during the day. She was so focused on what she was doing that she almost missed her stop. She rushed to the door and got off the bus. She went to the apartment and decided to take a long bath. She needed this to let the stress and anxiety of the day go away and think of nothing. 

Neil went home later. His work day had been very busy. He found Claire in her pajamas, sitting in the coach, watching a movie. He waved at her. She smiled. “Good day?”  
“Good but hard. What about yours?”

“Interesting and unexpected...”

“You’re arousing my curiosity! Tell me more.”

She paused the film and sat cross-legged. He sat next to her, bringing some snacks for both of them. He really enjoyed being able to eat some food in pieces. She was dying telling him the good news. 

“Dr. Lim convoked me in her office tonight. When I arrived there, she was not alone. Dr. Andrews was there too. At first, I was so stressed. I don’t even know how I didn’t freak out in the office. By the way, I sat in front of them and waited for what they had to tell me. And oh my god, it was so good! Audrey, I mean Dr. Lim, offered me to be a trauma attending at Bonaventure. She wants to be more invested in the administrative side of the hospital life and she was looking for a replacement. And she thinks I’ll be perfect for this. I was so afraid when Alex was offered by Glassman to be an attending at Bonaventure. And I was still with no job by the end of the month.”

“That’s great, Claire. That’s awesome. I’m so proud of you. It’s so well-deserved. You’ve worked so hard to be there. And this is your reward…”  
He looked at her in the eyes and smiled. The young resident was far away by now. The woman he had in front of him was a confident and brilliant doctor who soon will lead a service by her own. 

“And this is not finished… Dr. Andrews offered me to be the one who makes the graduation speech. Because my journey to become a doctor is pretty singular. Do you believe it? I’m both frightened and excited about this but I did agree.”

He didn’t find the words to describe how he was proud of this tiny woman by now. “Claire, you deserve all that is happening to you. Just enjoy and be you. It’ll always work as long as you are you…”

They stayed in the sofa for a while, eyes locked, blissful smiles on their faces. Time stopped. They didn’t care. They were at the place they preferred on Earth.   
On the morning, Neil met Audrey on his way to his office. He said her hello before vanishing in his office. He didn’t want to talk, he had a big case and he’d rather focus on it quickly. And also forget about last night with Claire. He fell for her everyday a little more and he didn’t know how to hide it… He was taken back to the reality when he heard a knock on his door. It was Audrey.

“Can I talk you for a minute?”

Neil was puzzled. He didn’t know why she was coming in his office. They had not cases in common for weeks and he didn’t go to see her to tell her he was glad she kept Claire in her team. 

“Yeah, of course. Come in. What can I do for you?”

“In fact I would like to talk to you about… Your relationship with Claire. I’ve seen things have changed since the earthquake. You two had already a very special relationship from the beginning to be honest…”

“What are you talking about?”

“From the day she arrived in Bonaventure, you had shared with her a special connection. You’ve always been hypnotized when she was near you. I’m not judging you. I’m just saying you’re different where you’re with her. And since the earthquake, you seem to be even closer.”

“Claire is one of my best friends. She helped me a lot after the earthquake, took care of me during my recovery. She even asked Morgan to help and to be honest, it was one of her best ideas.”

“Neil, don’t lie. Not to me. You’ve been friends for something like 20 years. We even used to date for a short time. I know where you’re not telling the truth.”

Neil lowered his look, he was trapped. Audrey will never let him out of this talking without an explanation. He had to find something, a parade to escape from there, to get back to work peacefully. 

“Claire and I are nothing but friends. I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“I saw you, Neil. She’s more than that and you know it as much as I do. I saw her when you were in a coma and when you were hospitalized. She never left your room. Nurse Petringa even put a bed for her to be more comfortable… I did see you two in the meeting room after the clinic project was validated by the committee. She literally jumped into your arms. Who did this to her boss, to her friend? Morgan and Park are your friends too from what you’ve told me and they didn’t do this. I saw you when she was in your arm. You were different, you were happy, Neil… I won’t blame you. I just want you to be honest with yourself…”

Neil slowly raised his eyes to Audrey. She was not wrong. But he didn’t want to admit this in front of her… But he was stuck… And it hurt him to tell the truth out loud to someone else than Claire. But here he was. 

“I may have felt for her years ago but I did understand it only a few months ago when I realized I could lose her forever once her residency here was over… Just tell me you have not kept her here just because you knew how I felt about her. Because I would rather leave my position here and get another job than she discovers you keep her not to hurt my feelings…”

“Do not worry about this, I’m keeping her because she’s an excellence doctor. One of the best residents I have been working with… I just wanted to be sure, you know where you were with her too. Maybe you should tell her… A love like you feel for her happens only once in a lifetime, you know…”

And she vanished in the corridor before he had the time to answer.


	29. Chapter 29 - Overbooked

Chapter 29 : Overbooked

It’s OK. Everything will be OK. Claire must have repeated herself these lines for thousands of times since Dr. Andrews had asked her to make a speech during the graduation. She was proud he chose her to do so but she was also so stressed. She didn’t like to speak in public. She had spent the last 2 weeks locked in her room as soon as she could to write her speech. As she was about to tell it in front of everyone, she looked at the audience and she felt all her stress rose a little more. 

“You’re gonna kill it.”

She turned to see Neil whom she had recognized the voice right away. What she didn’t expect to see was Mrs. Weeks who was just next to him. Without thinking, she rushed into her arms. This woman had a talent for calming her down. She winked at Neil. It was very adorable from Neil to have brought her there, when she was so anxious. 

“I let you for some minutes. Mrs. Weeks, wait for me. I’ll come back for you.”

As he was walking away, Claire warmly thanked Mrs. Weeks for being here with her, for her. It meant a lot. 

“Anything for my sweetheart! When Dr. Melendez had asked me if I wanted to come to see you become a true doctor, I accepted right away! I needed to see you being a doctor for real. I mean finally having the official title. Because for me, you are a doctor for a long time!”

“Thank you, really thank you. You have no idea what it means for me. I mean you’re like the grandmother I’ve never had.”

She once again hugged Mrs. Weeks. She needed all the possible strength she could find to go on stage and tell her speech in front of thousands people she didn’t know. As she eased the embrace and started to climb the stairs, Mrs. Weeks grabbed her by the arm. 

“You can call me Greta, you know.” Claire smiled and nodded. “And by the way, you are beaming, my dear. I won’t be surprised if you’ll tell me the handsome doctor has something to do with this…. Speaking of the devil, here it is! I was telling Claire she was gonna be the best.”

Neil agreed with a nod. Then he offered his arm to Mrs. Weeks. And they walked towards the ball room to take a seat. Claire tried to focus only on his speech. She needed to free her mind and just delivered it to the audience. Easier to say, not so easier to do. And when she heard her name, she knew there was no turning back. 

Eyes on her paper, she walked to the stand and took one last deep breath. She raised her eyes to the audience. It was time to go. So she cleared her voice and started to read her speech. 

“Saving lives is inspiring. It shows you at which point it is fragile. It makes you realize life is a gift and you have the power in your hand to save it. It is electrifying, galvanizing, terrifying. When I arrived in Bonaventure 5 years ago, I met young doctors like me: self-assured, maybe too much when we were just out of book studies, excited as it was Christmas morning, proud as peacocks when we had everything to prove. We went through these amazing and awesome years together, we loved, hated each other. We fought, we united. We argued passionately for our positions. We discovered we were not the best, that we still had a lot to learn. We have grown up together. We have evolved as a group. We have become better doctors, better surgeons, better people.”

At this moment, she took another deep breath. She looked at the audience and saw all her friends. She was coming from so far and she had built her own family. People who loved her for who she was. She put the paper on the stand. She didn’t need it anymore. 

“Today, we are graduated. Today we are real doctors, real surgeons. But we will never stop learning, we will never stop doubting. This work is so special, so intense. It takes you all your energy but it’s worth it because at the end, you give other people a chance to get better, to have a new life, to consider new things. And this is the most important. Maybe I’ll seem too idealist, too utopian but I do believe doctors can change lives even when they are not in an OR. Just by being benevolent, by listening to the others. Today, I’m proud to tell I’m a doctor, and I do hope you too. So let’s never forget our years of residency because they have built who we are today. And let’s focus on our future as surgeons. But before let’s celebrate!”

As Claire stopped speaking she could hear the amounts of applause praising her speech. She did it and apparently well. People were standing and looking at her. But all she could see was all her friends smiling at her. And at the moment, it was what meant the most. She left the stage and joined them to listen to Dr. Andrews’ speech. As he ended it, all the residents were called on stage to be given their medicine degrees. Alex and Claire stayed next to each other. Shaun was not far away, in his own world as usual. They wanted to share this special moment together. As she left the stage with her precious degree in her hands, Mrs. Weeks welcomed her. 

“Congratulations sweetheart. I can still call you like that even if you’re a real doctor now, right?”

“Of course, Greta!” She giggled. Greta hugged her before telling she had to go. She was tired. Spending so much time outside her home was not of her age anymore. Neil was gonna take her home. She went to the cloakroom to get her coat back while Neil shared some words with Claire. 

“Have fun with Shaun, Alex and Morgan. I’ll be at home. Forget about everything tonight and just enjoy!” 

Before he left, she grabbed his arms and pressed it. She locked her eyes with his and smiled. “Thank you for having brought me here. You’ve been a great mentor to me. I could never thank you enough.”

“You don’t have too. You saved me, remember.” He grabbed her hand and pressed it firmly. “Got to go or Mrs. Weeks is gonna kill me.”

They laughed and Claire watched him disappearing among the crowd.   
[…]

The first months as an attending were pretty hard for Claire. She didn’t count the working hours. Audrey, who was now one of the main members of the boarding committee was less and less present in the trauma service and Claire had to take care of the new residents and of her surgeries. Most of nights she came home exhausted and was barely able to exchange a few words with Neil before falling deeply asleep. The good news was that her nightmares had gone away. She was too tired to even dream. She just needed to rest to be even better on the next day. 

She loved her job but sometimes she thought it was hard to replace Audrey. Dr. Andrews often came to see and told her she was doing an excellent job. “You’re killing at it” was his exact words. And to be fair, she liked this, even if she was tired, even if her social life summed up to only say hello to other hospital staff. She was doing what she liked the most. 

Her only regret was not to see Neil as often as she would have loved to. Of course, she met him in the corridors of the hospital and when she was coming at the apartment late at night. But they couldn’t spend as much time together as before. As a consequence, some nights when she was coming home a little earlier, she didn’t find him there. He had probably found another person to talk to because she was never there. He was right... She was being a really bad friend at the moment. She will make amends later when she’ll be more familiar with the trauma service. 

After six months of craziness, Claire finally found her balance between her work life and her personal one. It was good to spend some times outside the hospital too. To go and get a drink with Alex, to go shopping and girl chat with Morgan, to do some karaoke with Shaun (and sometimes Lea, it depended on how their relationship was at the moment). She loved to go to the clinic and watched Alex and Morgan arguing for hours because of a little detail. She was sure there was something between the two. It was not of her business but she was sure there was some unfinished talking here! She enjoyed giving her first classes to young girls and taught them about contraception. 

When she got home that night, she was tired. She wanted to eat a little and go to bed. As she opened the door she heard an unusual noise in the living room. Someone was playing the guitar?! She entered the room and saw Neil playing in the sofa. She did know this song. She liked it a lot. Maybe she listened to it a little more. He didn’t notice her at first. She came closer and listened to him. He was good. Why did he never tell her he was playing the guitar? They could have played together!

When he raised his eyes over her, she started to sing for him not to stop playing. She didn’t want to stop the moment, to break the spell. 

“I heard there was someone but I know he don't deserve you  
If you were mine I'd never let anyone hurt you, no, no  
I wanna dry those tears, kiss those lips  
It's all that I've been thinking about  
'Cause a light came on when I heard that song and I want you to sing it again

I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me  
Like it was a private show, but I know you never saw me  
When the lights come on and I'm on my own  
Will you be there to sing it again?  
Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories?

Can I be the one  
Can I be the one  
Can I be the one  
Oh, can I, can I be him?

Won't you sing it again?  
Oh, when you sing it again  
Can I be him?  
Oh, sing it again, yeah  
Oh, when you sing it again  
Can I be him?

I swear that every word you sang, you wrote 'em for me  
Like it was a private show, but I know you never saw me  
When the lights come on and I'm on my own  
Will you be there, will you be there?  
Can I be the one you talk about in all your stories

Can I be him?  
Can I be him?  
Can I be him?  
Can I be him?”

Her voice broke at the end of the song. Her eyes locked in Neil’s ones, like hypnotized. None of them moved, none of them wanted to break this precious moment. Then, she knew it was the time, the point of no return and to be fair, she didn’t care. She let her feelings took over her body and she leant to Neil and dropped a kiss on his lips. He didn’t push her. She made the kiss deeper. She let her tongue met his, she let their tongues dance a while before moving away. 

“Claire, we shouldn’t… We can’t…” He stood up from the coach. She did the same. They were both standing, face-to-face, in this large room. Only a few inches from each other. 

“I’m tired of waiting, I’m tired of fighting my feelings with all my heart because of moral principles and good manners. I just want to do what I want and right now, I want to kiss you. So throw me back if you feel like this or let me do it. “

She came closer to him. He didn’t push her. He had been dreaming of this moment for years but never dared to believe it will become real one day. She put her lips on his. This time, she was more rushed. The kiss was more intense. She once again put her tongue in his mouth. He welcomed her and joined the kiss. The taste of their mixed tongues was like a firework they hoped will never stop. They wished their mouths will never get away from the other. As they stopped kissing to take a deep breath, they glared at each other for long seconds. 

Nothing happened. Silence. Just the sounds of their jolting breaths, of their beating hearts, of the kiss they just shared. Neil took her by the shoulders and pushed her against the wall. She didn’t fight and let him take the lead. She lit the fire. He was feeding it. He started kissing her neck. She was literally shivering. She could feel his hands against her body and it felt so good, as they had always had been there. 

He pushed her harder. She loved feeling his warmth against her. She let her hands explore his chest. She unbuttoned his shirt to be able to feel his skin against her fingers. She needed to feel him even closer, to connect her skin with his. She loved the contact of her palms with his pectorals, his back, his shoulders. He deepened the kiss and ran through the rest of her body. He took off her blouse to finally kiss her chest. She moaned. It felt so good and so right. 

He took her hand and led her to the room. Their eyes were locked. From now on, no one and nothing will tear them apart. She took off her skirt, he took off his trousers. They were where they were supposed to be. After years of frustration and denial, they were finally here. He led her to the bed and let him take the lead. He did know how to make the things even sexier. Or was it because she was so impatient, so excited? She kissed him as if her life depended on it, he answered her with even more fury and passion. She pressed him closer to her, she needed to feel him near her, in her. 

They had waited for this moment for years. They both knew it now because the moment they were sharing was magical, unique. They were connected, together. No matter what was happening outside, they didn’t care. She enjoyed the moment, he was taking her to places she never had been, making her discover sensations she hadn’t even expected. She was happy, like blissfully happy. He was too. She was all he ever wanted and this moment will be forever in his mind. 

He let her take the lead, he let her kissing his body and make him shiver of pleasure. She was soft and wild in the same time. He liked that. He loved being taken in place he didn’t know, to explore places he never thought before. He heard her moan several times, he did the same because God it was too good not to be told out loud. They keep exploring each other body, every nook and cranny, every portion of their skin before falling asleep when the sun was about to rise again…


	30. Chapter 30 - Bliss

Chapter 30 : Bliss

When she heard him sing the song last night, it was like the universe was telling her to go to him and never let him go. They had suffered enough, they had kept their feelings buried deep down for too long. She had not controlled herself and had sung with him. And when all was over, she jumped over him and let the passion talk and here they were.

When she woke up, he was there next to her. Her hear was lying on his chest and she could see his antler tattoos and the scars of his multiples surgeries. She was wondering why he had so many deer tattooed on his body. It was not common. She will ask him one day, just to know, just for fun. Her fingers ran over the deer but she didn’t dare to touch his scars. Instead, she was listening to the rhythm of his heartbeat as she used to do in the hospital when he was in a coma, when he was deeply sleeping because of the anesthesia. She was feeling well, appeased, tired of last night that had been the craziest she had ever had. And also the most connected and sweetest one she had ever known.

She kept losing herself in her memories when she felt Neil moving. She looked up at him. “Hey” was the only thing she could say. She was so well, so fine, so at her place, she didn’t know what to say other than this simple word.

“Hey” was the only thing Neil could answer. He stroked her hair again and again. Oh God! He loved running his hand through her curly hair. He had dreamed for years to do so and always retrained him to even come close to her, no to be tempted. She let her fingers run over his body. His skin was so warm and soft.

They remained like this for hours. Neither of them wanted to be separated from the others. It had taken them so long to finally find each other. And the feeling of their skins against each other brought them new sensations. They had just met and in the same they seemed to know forever.

“So last night was not a dream… “ Neil finally talked out loud to break the glass that neither him or Claire dared to.

“No it was not… Or maybe it was… I don’t know… All I know right now, it’s that I’m glad we are here, at this precise moment… I have dreamed about a moment like this for years now… But I forced myself to get over it because you were my superior and it was unbelievable to imagine such a relationship… And….”

He made her be quiet as he lay over her to kiss her lips. These lips he had dreamed about for years too. These plump and sweet lips that answered his kiss as soon as he put his on them. He took his time, their tongues met again. Once again, it was like a firework. And in the same time, they danced so perfectly together, they seemed to have met since like a hundred of years. It felt liberating. Intoxicating. Powerful. As they eventually pulled apart, they both had a blissful smile on their face.

She rested her head on his shoulder, he rested his head over hers. Life seemed so easy. Why had they fought their feelings for years when they could have had this for so long? Sometimes brains were too stubborn, rules were too stupid and moral way too heavy. They stayed like this, like the last two people on Earth, as time stopped. It didn’t matter how much time they wasted like this, they were just where they were supposed to be. After a while, Neil broke the silence.

“I shouldn’t tell you this… But I’ve thought about this time for a while… Even if I hadn’t understood right away what I was feeling for you, you always have been special… I have always had troubles to define our relationship. Of course, I’ve been your mentor, your attending, your boss. But I was feeling you were more than this. But I was unable to put words on it. From the beginning, I’ve known you’ll take a special place in my life. I just didn’t know you were the someone waiting for me…”

Claire smiled and buried her head in Neil’s neck. She needed to breathe him, just to be sure she was not dreaming. “You’re a romantic, Mr. Melendez… You know I hate romantics, right?” And she laughed so hard for teasing him than he burst into laughing too. He kissed her once again. It was like an addiction, he needed to feel her lips under his, to breathe her smell and to feel her skin under his fingers. 

“Come with me!” He took her hand and she followed him through the apartment. “Get dressed, I’ll take you somewhere.”

He was so mysterious. She picked the clothes from last night that were on the floor and went to her room. Such a crazy and wild night! She couldn’t stop smiling, she had the impression to look like the Cheshire cat in Alice in Wonderland. She had this kid of ecstatic smile on her face she couldn’t remove. By the way, she didn’t want to. She was too happy. She pulled a pull and a pair of jeans and joined Neil in the leaving room. He was wearing jeans as well. And his Stanford polo, the one he was always wearing when they ran. They went to the car and Neil drove for like an hour before he cut the engine. 

“Welcome to one of my favorite place. The place where I think about ones of my most complex surgeries, where I come when I have dilemmas to solve, when I want to be alone after…”

His voice broke. 

“I know.” And she put her hand over his. He raised his eyes and smiled. He really met an angel. Claire was too good to be true and yet, she was there with him, in his car and they had just spent the night together. The first of so many other ones. The beginning of something new he had never thought of but he had dreamed about a lot. 

They came out of the car. He came closer to her and his hand brushed her fingers. She shivered. He felt like an electroshock. He gathered all the courage he had and took her hand in his. She let him do. She was unable to move. She had dreamed for a moment like this, with him for years and it happened right now. She’d rather enjoy the moment that to analyze everything. She will have time for this later. 

They walked for hours on the beach. Sometimes Neil was talking about his best memories there, sometimes she told him about her childhood ones, sometimes they remained silent and just enjoyed being together, away from the hospital, away from any rumor, away from people they knew, just them and the ocean. 

So it was this being in love? Claire was just feeling good as she hold Neil’s hand in hers. They were walking on the beach, enjoying the fresh air. Yesterday she had yielded to her deepest desires and showed Neil her true self. No more hiding, no more subterfuge, no more mascarade. She couldn’t anymore. She had tried, for years, to fight her feelings for him, to let her heart accept she couldn’t love him. But here was the truth: he was his everything. 

She had never felt like this before. Of course, she had boyfriends but never someone had made her feel like that. She had the impression to be over the moon. He was the best and the worst thing it had ever happened in her life. Best because she had never felt this way before. When she was with him, she didn’t have to pretend. He knew her as if they had been together for at least a hundred of years. Worst because she knew if she ever lost him, she would never recover from the pain. And that was what scared her the most.

She didn’t want to be scared. At this time, she was with the man she had been waiting like forever. Damned some scary fears! Her therapist told her to focus only on the positive things in her life because she deserved to be happy. She looked at Neil who was talking about the day he came here after his break up with Jessica and she already felt better. He opened to her when he was nothing but a talkative person. It reminded her of the day he asked her if she wanted kids during her first year of her residency. 

Neil enjoyed this moment too. Being here with Claire was so natural. Yet, he had never brought anyone here. It was his secret place… But he felt the urgent need to show it to Claire. This tiny person had changed his life forever. From the day she arrived in his team and forced him to fight for his own ideas, to accept he could be wrong, to admit she was better than him on some points. Because even if she seemed to be fragile and soft, she hid a strong and fierce personality. 

They finally sat in the sand. His right leg ached a little… He could thank the earthquake for this. Old wounds had a hard life. Even though his fracture was healed, he always felt a discomfort when he was walking too much. And last night must not have helped his leg to feel better… But it was worth it. It was nice to be here, not alone this time. Claire pressed against him and put her head on his shoulder. He dropped a kiss on her hair. 

“Not a problem, I’m tired too. I haven’t gone to the sea for decades… And the fresh air is so tiring and in the same time, this is so beautiful. I’m glad you’ve taken me here. I’m glad I’ve spent the day with you.” 

“I’m glad too.”

And they spent the rest of the day to watch the sea and the boats which were passing on the horizon. They enjoyed being just the two of them. Awkwardness was gone, uneasiness too. Only bliss and peacefulness. They knew they will have to confront the reality soon. But right now, all that mattered was that they had found each other after so long. They had reached the place they were supposed to be from the start. 

They came home late this night after sharing ice creams on the beach like crazy in love teenagers. They lay in Neil’s bed and stayed there next to the other, cuddling stronger and stronger to be sure it was not a dream. 

She put her head over his chest and her hand too. She wanted to feel his body under her hands and to stroke him. It was more than necessary, it was vital for her at this precise moment. Like a need she couldn’t control, a desire she had deeply buried down for so long. She once again turned around his scars, without touching them. She didn’t dare too. It was too intimate… 

“You can touch them, you know…”

“Don’t dare… It’s a part of you, your history… And I don’t want to intrude…”

He put a finger on her mouth. “And you are a part of my life. I want you to touch my scars… I just want you to touch my scars…”

He took her hand and placed her fingers over his multiple scars. One scar at the time. “This one is the first surgery I get after the earthquake. This one is the one from when they remove a part of my digestive tube. And this one is the one that saved my life. The one I let Marcus did to me because you had convinced me life was worth it…”

She let her fingers run over his scars. She could see he was shivering but he let her do it anyway. She raised her head and dropped a kiss over each scar. 

“Hope I can bring you some relief moments… Hope one day, you won’t suffer at all…”

He pressed her tighter against him. She had already done so much. And she will certainly do a lot in the future. He kissed her slowly and fiercely. She nestled against him to feel his warmth. 

“Goodnight Claire.”

“Goodnight Neil.”

Before they had the time to think about anything else, they were deeply asleep, hugging each other as if nothing else existed.


	31. Chapter 31 - Hidden

Chapter 31 : Hidden

When they thought of it, the most difficult part was not to have admitted and confessed their feelings to each other. It was to hide their relationship to others. Neither of them wanted to reveal it to the world before they were ready to. And they wanted to do it the right way. The chivalry scenes you saw in the movies where the two in love doctors revealed their relationship by kissing in the middle of the ER in front of everyone was certainly not the way they wanted everyone to know about them. 

Before anything else, they needed to be sure about them, their feelings, their relationship. To be certain to be on the same line. The mutual attraction was important – and there were absolutely no problem on this point – but it was not what made a couple last. They needed to know if they shared common hobbies, ideas… Being a couple was not easy. And they both knew that once it’ll be official, some people will come after them and at this point, they will have to be more than strong. Rumors could break a career, a life, them. 

On the first days of their relationship, they tried to stay as professional as possible. But their bodies told them otherwise and it was sometimes hard to hide. They wanted to touch each other, to kiss, to make love. They needed to be connected, they could feel this need in their whole body. But they couldn’t. During one of their work meeting, they let their knees met just to feel each other. And both felt like their bodies were about to blow up with desire. Both were shivering. 

Another time during a presentation in the meeting room, Neil’s fingers brushed Claire’s ones. And once again it was like nothing else mattered, except they were in the middle of a crowded room. Claire’s heart raced. Neil’s one too. As the meeting ended, they went on separated ways, not to arouse the curiosity of anyone in the hospital. Sometimes, when no one was around, they loved to sneak around in the locker room or the supplies closet to kiss and touch each other.

They had always believed this kind of things only happened in movies and TV shows but they had troubles to control themselves. Since they were together, they were both feeling like two stupid teenagers. Neither of them had felt this before. And to be fair, it was kind of refreshing, especially after the moments they had been through. He reached her hand and pulled her to one of the unoccupied rooms. 

“Dr. Melendez, why are we here? “ She said, giggling.

“Just needed to do this.” He put his lips over hers and kissed her. Deeply, slowly, passionately. She joined him and deepened the kiss. After a few minutes, they separated. “Sorry but I couldn’t wait anymore.”

They went out of the room, with supplies in their hands as if they had entered in the first place to get some medical supplies. He bent over Claire and whispered in her ear: “Clever idea, Dr. Browne.”

The next days, the next months, Claire and Neil learnt to be more careful. They didn’t want to break what they had. It was way too precious to be brutally unveiled. And they liked to be kept in the dark. It made their relationship even spicier. Not that it was not the case. Sex was incredibly amazing, better than they had never expected. But sneaking around during the day in the nooks and crannies of the hospital just to share a stolen kiss and to hug, sharing a conniving look or sending naughty texts during a boring meeting made their relationship way more hotter. 

Sometimes, when they thought people were suspicious about them, they planned fake argues to give the change. They could spend hours before sleeping to imagine them. And it was very funny. To be honest, Neil had never been in a relationship where he was so natural, so comfortable. No need to overthink. No need to anticipate. He was who he really was and it felt so good not to hide…Except in front of the whole world. But it was another story Claire and he were not ready to tell for the moment. 

“What about a fake argue in the ER? Or in front of the nurses’ station? “

She giggled. She loved to plan them when she was cuddled in Neil’s arms. It was somewhat funny to make believe the others they were at odds when in truth, they were in love. Because she was sure at least on her side that she was in love. She was appeased, calm, at peace with herself. Her therapist even proposed her to allow intervals between sessions. She found she was finally less hard with herself, as her old demons had gone. She told her she was seeing someone who had a good influence over her, who knew how to ease her fears. She encouraged her to keep seeing him because she was really acting better. By now, she only had two sessions per month. 

“You really want to go once again with a fake argue?” He was clearly referring to the first one they planned almost 3 years ago after Morgan had filed a favoritism complaint. The beginning of a series of tricks… which were brutally interrupted by the earthquake episode. 

“Don’t you dare to tell me you didn’t have fun when you did this for the first time. I almost burst into laughing! Hopefully I didn’t. But it was so fun.”

“Ok it was! But I doubt people will buy it anymore… We’re kind of in good terms by now while at the time you were my resident.”

“Are you saying I can’t argue with one of my colleague?!?”

“He laughed. “I’ll never do that. I care about my life. Just tell it may not be the best way to make the rumors end… I’ve seen some people looking at us in a weird way for a few weeks. I know we’re trying to be careful, but I’m not sure we are enough. And I don’t want to expose us more than we need… I mean I don’t want to… “ 

He stumbled on his words. He wanted to use the right words to describe how he felt. “What we have… I mean… I’m feeling really fine when you’re around.”

She chose not to tell a word. This intimate moment was great the way it was. She just smiled at him and dropped a kiss on his lips. He didn’t let her go and deepened the kiss. He needed to feel her, to touch her. He missed her tiny body. As she was taken her sweat off, someone rang at the intercom.

“Are you waiting for someone?”

Claire made no with her head. Neil answered to the call. It was Morgan. She needed him to sign some contracts for the clinic. “Oh god I forgot, Morgan was coming!”   
They got dressed as soon as they can and found an explanation why they were both here. Claire ran in what used to be her room and hid under the quilt as Neil grabbed a book and sat in the sofa. 

“Hi! It’s me. Everyone’s there?”

Morgan entered the living room and found Neil with his book. “So this is how you spend your day off while I work as hell to make the clinic work?”

He became livid. “I was kidding, Neil. You’re right! Life at the clinic is intense but not as stressful as a life in an OR. Here are the contracts I was talking about in my text messages. A local pharmaceutical company proposed to lend us some technical machines if we promise to put some posters of their new painkillers. I know what you’re gonna to say and this is why Alex and I looked for information about the painkillers and it turns to they are validated by the national drug agency and they are even less noxious that the ones we used to give.”

Neil was impressed by Morgan. She did change a lot since her surgery. She had become one of the most responsible people he knew and he was proud she had agreed to help him run the clinic. He only got there twice a week by now. She took care of the rest. Alex helped her a lot because he had already worked in such a place. And to be fair, whatever the two of them said, they liked to spend time together. It was fun to see how life could take a surprising watershed… Like it was the case with him and Claire. 

“Claire is not here? Thought it was her day off.”

“Um… I think she’s still in her room. You can go and check if you like. I’m gonna keep reading.” And he hid his head in his novel. Morgan could feel his uneasiness. Something was definitively going on here. As she reached Claire’s room, she knocked on the door. Claire was in her bed reading the medical files of her patients and writing the notes she had taken on her pad on her computer. “Stop working, Claire, this is an order.”

Claire turned and smiled at her friend. “Almost done!”

Morgan remained a little while with her. Time for the two of them to share the latest news. “So this is a deal, we eat together on Saturday night!”

“Promise! You come and take me here. I’m not working up to Monday.”

“Sure.” And Morgan vanished in the corridor. Both Claire and Neil were relieved. They managed to hide their relationship to one of their best friends. They spent the rest of the day in the sofa, watching movies and TV shows, hugging each other. 

“I may have an idea to make the rumors stop...”

Neil looked at Claire, puzzled. 

“Maybe we could ask Greta, I mean Mrs. Weeks to be our accomplice during our fake argue…”

“Tell me more!”

[…]

Morgan went back to the clinic. She really needed to send the contracts to the local companies that gave her their trust. She was proud of her, she was a hell of a bargainer! It must have been her tenacious and bold side she got during her medicine studies. She dropped her stuff in her office and met Cassie, her assistant, in the kitchen. 

“Stopped at Dr. Melendez’s apartment to get the signatures!”

The two women filled their cups with coffee and came to Morgan’s office to work on the contracts and prepared the day. Morgan was glad they hired Cassie. She was really efficient and organized. She taught a lot to her when it came to administrative tasks. She didn’t really like this. Yet, Cassie showed her it was not so difficult. The two women kept fulfilling the papers. They were interrupted by Park who came to say hello. 

“Hi! Just arrived. Need me for something?”

“As you propose, we’re gonna receive some new medical devices tomorrow but before we need to make some spaces in the storage room. Maybe you could help me move the boxes we had put there when we first moved in…”

“What do you give me in exchange?”

He winked at her. She laughed. “My whole gratitude is not enough?”

“To others, not to me. I know you too well. Ok, I’ll buy you this big turkey sandwich you like so much.”

“Deal! I’ll meet you in the storage room in about 5 minutes.”

Park left the room to drop his stuff in the locker room. Morgan apologized to Cassie for letting her with all the papers to do. “Not a problem, it’s kind of my things! Go and move these boxes with Dr. Sexy Park.”

Morgan laughed. She knew since the beginning Cassie had a crush on Alex and it was kind to see. She didn’t even try to hide it. She was not looking for something serious. She just got out of a long relationship and wanted to enjoy being single for a while. She walked to the storage room and started to write on the boxes what was inside. It was gonna take at least three hours to clear the room. She was already exhausted. 

“Where do I begin with?”

“I was wondering the same minutes ago… We need place for the medical devices the pharmaceutical company is delivering tomorrow and also for the drugs. I don’t want them to be in an unlocked place.”

Park and Morgan spent the rest of the afternoon drowned in the boxes. As they had almost finished, a series of boxes fell on the floor and opened in the middle of room releasing all their contents on the ground. Morgan and Alex shared a conniving look before bursting into laughing. They were closer than ever. And they were comfortable with it. As they could share anything, as they had finally found someone in this world they could be totally honest with. Speaking of honest…

“Ohhh I forgot to tell you! I went to Neil’s this morning, and I’m sure I interrupted something between him and Claire!!!”

“Here we go again.” He laughed. She was nagging him with this for months now, almost a year to be fair. Time fled so fast! But he had to admit she was not completely wrong. He also noticed some attitudes, some gestures that let no doubt about how “Melendaire” was feeling. They were just too shy and too afraid to confess because once it’ll be done, there will be no turning back. 

“I swear, I’m not dreaming. There’s something going on between these two. I can feel it. I’ve spent a lot of times with them in the last two years. And this morning, the vibes were different. I talked a lot with Claire, less with Neil. But Claire was blowing. Not that she’s not blowing in normal time – God I hate her she has perfect hair and skin! – but this morning, I don’t know it was different. That’s all I can say.”

Park looked at her. He liked when she was curious like that. It made her prettier… Maybe he shouldn’t feel like this, maybe she didn’t feel the same after all. Maybe it was just a crush that lasted for almost a year now… He couldn’t say. He was just better when she was there talking about so many things that he often didn’t listen to everything she said. To be fair, she spoke so fast and so much, it was easy to lose the thread. 

“Are you listening to me?!?”

“You know me, I did and then I’ve become lost in my mind. I have to say… Maybe you’re not so crazy after all… I suspected something after a while too. But I prefer not to deal with it. It must already be complicated enough for them. They don’t need us to come and ask them questions. That must be really confusing.”  
He knew what he was talking about. He was very confused at the moment. So he started to pick the little boxes on the floor and put them on the shelves. It was not a good idea to put them again in the storage boxes.


	32. Chapter 32 - Faking

Chapter 32: Faking 

When she entered the hospital this morning, she had the impression the staff was literally staring at her. She lowered her head and ran to the locker room. Neil told her many times, it was only her imagination playing her tricks. She had doubts. But it was better for her to stay focus on her job. She had two scheduled surgeries today and some consults.

The days passed and seemed the same. At least for her. Neil was more of a philosopher. But he agreed to organize a fake argue with Mrs. Weeks. Claire proposed him to include their favorite patient into their staging. They needed to be convincing. She knew he didn’t want to do this, but he did it for her. And for Claire, it meant the world. She was insecure and he accepted to do something to make her feel better. 

She talked about it to her therapist who was very surprised that Neil agreed to stage the fake fight. “He must really like you to do such a thing.” Claire smiled. An idiotic smile. “I think he does...” 

Some days later, they went to see Mrs. Weeks. She needed some supplies. As they brought her what she asked for, she invited them to eat. She cooked a salad and a pizza. It was the perfect moment to tell her about them. To ask her to be a part of their plan.

“Greta, this is really too kind of you. You shouldn’t have.”

“You went to the supermarket for me, I can cook you something! Now sit and eat. And tell me what’s going on. You both look so serious!”

They took a deep breath. Claire went first. “Greta, There’s something I… We wanted to tell you for months now… But we didn’t know how to tell it out loud… Neil and I are… Together... I mean we are a couple…We’re dating for a few months now…”

When she heard these words, Greta could do nothing except let out a scream and applause. “I’m so happy for you, kids.” She stood and came to them. She hugged them so strongly, they thought they were gonna miss some air. “If you knew for how many years I’m rooting for you!”

Claire and Neil were so relieved. They finally told the truth, they finally told someone they were dating. It made their relationship more real, more concrete. They were together. He took her hand under the table and pressed it. A simple gesture which meant a lot for both of them. 

After lunch, they sat in the sofa. Greta didn’t want them to go home before they ate her famous apple pie. “Greta... We would like to ask you for something.”

“I’m listening, sweetheart.”

“How to say… That’s complicated… “ Claire stumbled. Neil continued to explain. 

“We’d like to ask you if you could help us to organize a fake argue at work. Claire is afraid other people could know about us… When we try hard to stay under radar and we think that seeing us argue can give them what they need to let us alone… not that we want to hide forever.. It’s just that we don’t think it’s the good time to tell the truth…”

Greta was flattered they thought of her for this and she agreed right away. They explained to her, she just would have to be there and they were going to argue about her medical case. Nothing too complicated. She just needed to seem puzzled and surprised by what was happening under her eyes.

“Seems like I’m gonna practice the theater lessons I took at summer camp!” 

[…]

“You’re nervous! We can stop all now and just act normally.”

“No. I want to do it. This is important. I’m tired of people trying to invade our private life and …”

He didn’t let her the chance to end her sentence and pressed his lips against her. She answered him by making her tongue dancing with his. She knew she shouldn’t have but it was the best way for her to calm down. He could make pretty clever things with his tongue. She would have been a fool not to answer his kiss. She pulled apart from him after a few minutes. 

“You’re cheating. You know how I love when you kiss me and you’re taking advantage of me.”

“But you like it anyway.” He came closer to her but this time, she put her fingers on his mouth. 

“Not this time, Neil. And be careful, we’re next the hospital. Someone could see us. Our plan is not to hide?”

She stuck her tongue out at him and walked towards the entrance of the hospital. She entered first. He waited about 10 minutes and did the same. Mrs. Weeks’ appointment was at 3PM. He had time to work on his files, in his office. Claire will probably do the same, she was off from the OR today. The morning spent really fast and soon, Mrs. Weeks called Claire to tell her she was there for her appointment with Dr. Melendez. 

Neil received Greta and checked on her heart. She had been operated almost one year ago but she needed to be monitoring every six months, just in case as he used to say her. “I’d rather be careful. I don’t want something happens to you. By the way, Claire will never forget me!”

She laughed. Claire had really found a good man who respected her. Greta was happy for both of them. From the beginning, she had felt the connection they shared. But both were stubborn. Fortunately, they finally came to their senses. And now she was helping to hide their relationship. In a way, it was fun! Even if she hoped one day they could live their singular love in plain sight. 

The plan was simple. Claire was coming in the corridor randomly. She will see Greta coming out of Neil’s office and she’ll be mad at him because he didn’t ask her to come. Speaking of the devil. “Show time!”

Neil smiled at her and they got out of his office. It was time. “Mrs. Weeks, what are you doing here?”

“Oh Dr. Browne. So glad to see you, sweetheart. I came to see Dr. Melendez for my bi-annual appointment.”

Claire frowned and looked at Neil in the eyes. She needed to stay focused and not to laugh. “You could have told me! I was one of her surgeons too, Dr. Melendez.”  
“Didn’t think it was necessary as you are not working in cardiothoracic service anymore.”

That was harsh. Greta was impressed. And apparently, the whole hospital was looking at them fighting. Greta put aside and looked at her two sweethearts. 

“But I was there for her two surgeries. It would have been nice to invite me at her check-up, or at least to inform me. But as usual, we do what you want, Dr. Melendez.”

“And now I want you to leave and I want to go back in my office to work. You should too. If you excuse me, I have to see my patient to the entrance. See you later, Dr. Browne. ”

Claire stayed in the corridor, all the looks pointing at her. She raised her head and walked to her office. She fainted to be pissed and angry. Inside she was exulting. But in the same time, she was sad. Why did they have to act like this? It was her idea to put the rumors away, but was it really a good idea? Neil did it for her because she was scared the hospital staff could suspect something about them. Was it really worth? They were both growing-ups, they were both attendings. And she reached her office, the head full of doubts. 

From the end of the corridor, Morgan and Park watched the scene as if they were at the movies, minus the popcorn. She was glad to have come to lunch with Alex! 

“I’ve told you, something is happening. I can feel it!” 

Park nodded, something was really weird, Morgan was right. “Maybe we could ask her questions, or you go to talk to Neil, while I’m taking care of Claire.”

“So you do feel something like me, Mr. Park!”

“No nothing happens, you’re telling yourself stories in your head”!”

He made a face to her. He didn’t know what to say. She always had the last word and it was annoying. First, Morgan felt like offended before she burst into laughing. He looked at her and laughed heartily too. Everybody around were looking at them but no one understood what they were sharing. And it made them laughed harder. They were very glad to have found each other wherever it could lead them. 

Later this day, Neil joined Claire in her office. She was working on her patients files. “Almost done?”

She smiled. “Almost… But it can wait till tomorrow. I’m tired and I need to eat!”

“Can do a pie for tonight if you like.”

“Would love too.”

They remained silent for a while. “I wanted to thank you for this afternoon. It was nice of you to do this for me…”

“Always. You know that.” He stopped for a while. “But I guess it’s time… I mean I like sneaking around and keeping this whole thing we have for only the two of us… But I’m tired of hiding. Playing teenagers was fun. Especially with you. But I’m feeling I need something more. I need to be with you... You know... I mean…”

He stumbled on his words. Claire loved to see him this way. When she first met him, he was so arrogant, so proud. And now, he couldn’t say her how he felt. “I agree too. It was fun, really fun. But we’re not kids anymore…”

“You’re very wise, Dr. Browne. That’s why I like about you. You always know how to use the good words. So you agree to do this… You’re not afraid anymore?”

She grabbed his hand and pressed it. “No… Not anymore… This afternoon, during our fake fight, I’ve understood we didn’t have to hide anymore. In fact, I don’t care what people are thinking about. I just want to be with you because when I’m with you, I just feel myself. And fine… It has been a long time ago since I had felt this way…”

He pressed her hand back and they pulled apart. What they were about to do was nothing but romantic. Yet, it was very important for both of them. As they were in front of the door, they stopped. 

“Are you sure? Once it’ll be done, there’ll be no turning back.”

“Never been surer of anything.”

They came into the HR office and asked to see Mrs. Cooper. She received them in her office. They sat in front of her, they were as stressed as they were on the first day of their residency. Maybe more. They didn’t know. 

“You wanted to see me. I’m listening.”

Both Neil and Claire took a deep breath before diving in what was like one of the biggest confessions of their life. They shared a conniving look. Claire was the first to talk. 

“Dr. Melendez and I wanted to tell you that we are dating… for a few months. But we wanted to be sure it was not only a passing thing before making it official at the HR. We know we have to file some papers to be in order with the hospital policy, so…”

She stopped talking abruptly. She had said everything she had prepared in her mind. Neil knew it was time for him to end what she had started. 

“I know what you’re telling yourself now. She’s the third woman I’m dating in this hospital but I swear this time, this is the last time you’ll see me file these papers.”

Claire was touched by what Neil had just said. She was not fond of big romantic gestures but she appreciated the move Neil had just done. In his very own way, he had just told her he was gonna be with her for the rest of their life. Mrs. Cooper nodded and held them the file to complete.

“Take your time. I have to go and see Dr. Andrews for a contract problem. I come back in about 30 minutes.”

As she left the office, Neil and Claire let out a sigh of relief. It was done, they were officially a couple. From now on, they didn’t need to hide. Claire shivered. “Claire, you’re alright?”

“I think this is just the adrenaline going down.” 

He pressed her arm. He was emotional too. She could see his eyes were wet too. “Are you crying Dr. Melendez?”

“Never! You know me!”

They laughed and then fulfilled the documents to officially declare their relationship. As Mrs. Cooper came back, they handled her the papers and prepared to leave the office. 

“Hey… I just wanted to tell I’m happy for you. I’ve always suspected something between the two of you. Glad you’ve seen too.”

They smiled politely, nodded a little embarrassed too and wished her a good evening. When they got out of the HR office, they felt as if a huge weigh finally fled away from them. They were free. They had just made their relationship official. Neil held his hand to Claire who smiled and grabbed it. They left the office hand in hand. There were no reason to hide anymore. People could tell whatever they wanted. All they both knew was that they were feeling this little idiotic happiness they were looking for for a long time.


	33. Chapter 33 - Home

Chapter 33 : Home

Rumors spread in the hospital quicker than they thought. They could feel that people’s looks on them. On the mornings, when they arrived together, when they ate lunch at the cafeteria, when they were simply walking in the corridor debating a case or exchanging ideas over a patient. They chose to ignore all of them. People were always jealous. It will end one day or another. They just needed to be patient. And to focus on their patients’ files. They had plenty to complete before sending them to Bonaventure administration. 

After hours spent the nose buried in their files, Neil proposed to go home. It was late and they were both exhausted. He could see she was suffering from the atmosphere she was evolving in. He knew Morgan and Park were helping her a lot. Morgan knew this kind of people, she used to be one. Even if Claire didn’t tell her face to face she made things official with Neil in front of the HR. 

“We should invite Morgan and Alex to come to dinner in the next few days. What do you think?”

She was taking off her shoes. She was sad. He went to her and hugged her. 

“You know I’m here right.”

“Of course, I do. And I’m glad you’re in my life. I know deep inside me that days will change. I let them talk… I know what I’m worth, I know I’m here because I’ve worked like hell. I just want to do my job and to heal people. Jealousy will eventually pass, I’m just tired to see some childish behaviors like that.”

“Claire, I don’t like you being attacked like this. You’re an excellent doctor, one of the best I’ve ever trained. Bonaventure is really lucky to have you. I AM really lucky to have you.”

She pressed her body against his. She put her arms around his waist and placed her head against his chest. She loved being here. It was her safest place on Earth. When she was here, she didn’t fear anything, or anyone. She liked even more when his face got lost in her hair and he dropped kisses over her skull. They stayed like this for a moment. Just the time to forget about everything that surrounded them, just to be the two of them. 

Days like that repeated themselves until they finally vanished… Rumors about Neil and she were still spreading but people probably found a new way to occupy themselves. They had enough of saying she only had been graduated because she had slept with Neil and he had given her good marks and good appreciations. They let the last rumors die on their own. She will remember these 10 days as the worst of her professional life. 

On the next weekend, Claire and Neil invited Morgan and Alex to dinner to tell them the truth. Except they didn’t tell them it was for a special occasion. Both Claire and Neil were excited to finally tell the good news to two of their dearest friends and in the same time, they felt so stressed about their reactions. 

Neil woke up early to cook. He kissed Claire’s cheek before leaving the bed, got dressed and made some tea. He was happy to be able to eat almost as before by now. He enjoyed preparing good meals. He was almost as normal as before, except for his diabetes. 

He went to the local market to buy the food he needed. When he came back home, Claire was waiting for him in the kitchen. She was wearing the tiny shorts he liked so much. He smiled idiotically. “What?”

“Nothing. Just come back from the food market. I’m ready to cook.”

“And I’m ready to help!”

“Are you sure about this?” He laughed hard. “The last time she offered to help she had burnt the pie.”

“Practice makes perfect! And I can peel the fruits and the vegetables.” She stuck her tongue. 

“Good point!”

They spent the rest of the day to prepare marinated meet, vegetable fritters and a chocolate and pear pie. As she was mixing up the sauce and the pastry, he came behind her and kissed her in the neck. She shivered from pleasure. And often she turned to drop a kiss on his lips. Except when she was too focused on her missions.   
Morgan and Alex arrived at 7 PM as planned. They were as excited to be here as Neil and Claire were to receive them. Claire noticed Morgan and Alex were closer than ever but did say nothing. Until she eventually joined Neil in the kitchen.

“Did you see this? “

“What?”

“Morgan and Alex. They seem really close, like really close. You really didn’t notice?”

He loved when she was in her gossip mode. Her nose was frowning and made her freckles appear more clearly. And her eyes were glowing. 

“You don’t even listen to me!”

“I do but I do not notice something. They’re friends, that’s all.”

“They’re more than this, I can tell you this. Mark my words. Something is definitively happening. I can feel it.”

At this moment, he wanted to walk through the kitchen and kissed her. But he couldn’t. Their friends were there and they didn’t know about them. He came closer and took her by the waist. 

“I’d like to kiss you right here, right now.”

She looked behind and in a second, she turned her head and kissed him on his lips. “Don’t think they saw something.” She giggled, took the snacks and walked to the table to join Morgan and Alex. Neil joined them afterwards. The evening was nice. They talked a lot. About the clinic, Bonaventure. About Morgan’s new love for knitting, which Alex qualified of “old mood”. They laughed a lot when Alex told them about Kellan’s new girlfriend in college who threatened to leave him if he didn’t take his exams. 

As they were about to clean the dishes and to bring the pie on the table, Neil and Claire’s looks met. It was the perfect time to tell about them to their friends. Neil cleared his throat to turn the attention on him. Claire was the one doing it in front of the HR. He could do it in front of Alex and Morgan.   
“I wanted to share an important news with you.” He looked at Claire and turned to his friends. “Claire and I are together… For almost 6 months now. We made things official at Bonaventure last week. And we wanted you two be the first of our friends to know about us.”

Silence was all over the place until Morgan exulted and turned to Alex. “I’ve told there was something and you made fun of me. You’re gonna pay it!!! By the way, I’m so happy for you guys!!! You so deserve this.”

She stood and went to hug them. “Very glad for you guys. But to be fair, everyone at the hospital already knew that one day or another you were gonna take the plunge. You were the only ones who didn’t see it coming. Some of the nurses are rooting for Melendaire since Claire arrived at Bonaventure!”

“Melendaire?” Neil and Claire asked in the same time. 

“Yes. For Melendez and Claire. This is your nickname.” Morgan told them proudly. 

Claire and Neil laughed. They had a nickname! He took her hand under the table and pressed it. It was true. They were together. People knew about them and the world was not falling apart. It was good to be where they were. And they will never swap their places for anything else in the world. 

This weekend had been like a little break from her crazy current life. She did hope things would have changed when she went to Bonaventure on Monday. 

On Monday morning, when she actually came Bonaventure, Claire was still sleepy. She did not sleep enough last night and for once, it was not Neil’s fault. She just could not sleep correctly. Yet, Neil took her in his arms all night. She was just afraid of people’s reactions towards her. Her weekend had been so wonderful. She hoped her week kept that way. She went to her office to check on her emails. She was waiting for some results for a patient. The surgery was scheduled in three days and she needed to study the results before. 

Nurse Johnson interrupted her in her thoughts and analysis. “Sorry to disturb you Dr. Browne but we have an emergency. The ER just called and they need a trauma doctor to help them with an incoming patient really quickly. And as you are the only trauma surgeon available…”

Claire stood from her chair. “Give me two minutes, time to change. When does the incoming patient arrive?”

“The EMT tells they were 7 minutes away.”

Claire rushed in the little room next to her office and put her blue scrub. She ran to the ER and got there when the patient had just arrived. Perfect timing. “What have we got?”

“Anna Evans. 44 years old. She was involved in a bike accident while she was on the sidewalk. A car had hit her and now the bike handlebars is in her abdomen. The firefighters have cut the rest of the bike before we leave the place.”

Claire stopped for a minute and watched the patient. She noticed the angle of the handlebars. According to her, it was located just under the lungs and the digestive system could have been damaged. The most important thing to do right now was to stabilize Mrs. Evans and to control the internal bleeding. To be fair, it was what bothered her the most. She had to remove the metal bar in the OR and stopped the bleeding at the same time. She will need residents, a lot of them. She saw Mariam and Barbara in the corridor. 

“Mariam! Barbara! Please come here. I’m gonna need all the hands I can find in this OR. Call Deniz and Ela too and meet me in OR 2. Nurse Tennant, help me to stabilize the handlebars and then you come with me in the OR too.”

Claire took all the bandages she could find and built a big wedge to prevent the bar from moving. Then she helped the nurses to push the stretcher to the elevator. Less than 5 minutes later, they were in the OR. Claire ran to the prep room to get ready. The residents were already in the OR waiting for her. 

As she entered the room, she could feel all the tension. It was a big, difficult surgery. And she was the leading surgeon. She was anxious. She had never done such a surgery before on her own. All the eyes in the OR were looking at her. And she was only looking at her patient. She asked to Nurse Tennant to keep the bar firmly in her hand while she was working on cauterizing the patient’s vessels. 

After a long moment, she asked to Mariam and Deniz to come closer. They had to remove the bar very closely for her and Nurse Tennant to contain the bleedings. Ela and Barbara will come at this time to help her to clamp the veins. Mariam and Deniz waited for Claire’s instructions and pulled the bar when she told them to do.  
“Remember. Just do it quickly and right when I told you to do so.”

Mariam and Deniz nodded. When Claire gave them the signal, they pulled the handlebars outside of Mrs. Evans. Blood came everywhere in the chest. Claire was cold-blooded. She dived her hands into Mrs. Evans’ chest and looked for the leak. Nurse Tennant followed every one of her moves. At one moment, she grabbed her hand and asked her to pinch the aorta which was cut as hard as she could. 

Claire turned to Ela ad Barbara who were behind her and told them to go and get more blood. She had not imagine the aorta could have been hurt at first. She remained calm and started to stitch the vessel. She was so focused that she didn’t see the time passing. Many of the residents panicked. She told them to remain quiet and to focus on the case. She also needed calm to save the life of the patient. Despite all her efforts, Mrs. Evan kept bleeding. She could hear all the people in the OR freaking out around her. 

“Could you please all shut up? I need to figure out where the bleeding is coming from and believe me I’m sure there’s a piece a metal which is hidden somewhere. Thank you!”

The nurses and the residents looked at each other, puzzled. Claire continued her work, as she was in her world, asking for help from time to time to nurses and residents. Until at one moment, she got out of Mrs. Evans’ chest a tiny piece of metal. She put it in a plate and ended to stitch the aorta. Mrs. Evans was saved. 

“Dr. Browne, we were right!” was the only sentence Mariam could tell at that moment. Claire smiled under her mask. It reminded her of her first surgery with Neil when they found this little piece of metal causing so much trouble to their patient. She had to go home quickly to see him. She really missed him.

On her way to her office, she met Shaun. It had been days since they last saw. “Oh, Claire, it’s good to see you. But you look exhausted.” 

“Thank you Shaun.” She smiled. “Just had a rough day. I just want to go home and go to sleep.”

“You’re living with Dr. Melendez now? I heard you and him were a couple now.”

Claire blushed. She didn’t have found some free time to come and talk about her new relationship with Shaun. She was afraid he was mad at her for this. 

“I told so, you do make flirting gestures at Dr. Melendez.” And he laughed. Claire laughed too. 

“So you’re not mad at me for not having told you in person.”

“At the very beginning, I was angry at you and then I remembered I have known about you and Dr. Melendez for years. Since you brushed your hair back, right hand, side sweet heck at the nurses‘ station. He said good for you and you said you’ve just had broken rules and smiled and giggled at the same time. And brushed your hair back. And then it was OK. I am glad for you Claire. You deserve it.”

She pressed his forearm to thank him. He was one of his best friends and she hoped one day he will find someone who will make him as happy as she was right now, every time Neil was around. 

“Goodnight, Claire. See you soon. “

“Goodnight Shaun. Let’s have lunch together next week. To talk.”

“Ok” 

And he disappeared at the end of the corridor. His mind was already busy on other things. Claire stopped at her office, gathered her stuff and went home. She was exhausted; she wanted to have a calm evening. When she arrived at the apartment, Neil was not there. She was a little disappointed, though she enjoyed the silence. She really needed this moment for herself to relax and make the accumulated stress go away. 

She took off her clothes and went to the bathroom. She switched the shower on and walked into. The hot water on her skin made her shiver. All the stress, the anxiety, the rumors she had to face off daily, the gossip she had to confront and which caused her and Neil to fight sometimes faded away from her mind. She was just happy at this precise moment and far from all the drama which filled her days since her relationship with Neil had been made public. 

As she was soaking her hair, she felt a presence behind her. She turned and saw Neil standing there in the shower with her, naked. She smiled at him and kissed him deeply. His mouth felt like home, like a same place where her tongue was safe. He deepened the kiss and leaned on her. She could feel he was in the same urge as she in this precise moment. She dropped kisses on his chest to make him understand she was in the same place. 

He grabbed her and pressed her against the wall of the shower. The hot shower was running along their skins, their bodies, making the moment even more intense, passionate. She looked at him deeply in the eyes, jumped and held on to his waist. He was surprised but pleased. She was a real lion. 

He liked when she was taking care of the things and revealed her wilderness. He let her kiss him in the neck, on the chest. Life was really worth it. She was right when she told him to fight years ago after the earthquake. She made him even more excited, the hot water did also its work. After minutes of foreplay, they finally reached the moment they had been waited from the beginning. Claire let out a moan. He did the same. It felt so good, so intense. They were in perfect harmony. For some minutes, the world had stopped turning. They were only the two of them, in their world, dominated right now by the pleasure they were able to give to each other.

Claire tightened the embrace once more time not to let this magical moment go. She needed to feel him near her, in her. She could tell by his looks he didn’t blame her to make the moment last a little longer. She released the embrace and came back to the floor. The water was always running. Heat was so intense, there was steam everywhere. She smiled at him. He answered back. The smiles of two people in love and satisfied.


	34. Chapter 34 - Meeting

Chapter 34: Meeting

Days passed and finally rumors about Neil and Claire faded away. Claire‘s big surgery had been enough to prove to the sharp tongues that she was here for a reason and that Neil was certainly not one of them. In fact, people started to admire her and her work. She was preparing in parallel of her trauma career two other certifications: one to validate her cardiothoracic knowledge so she could practice along with Neil if needed and another one in pediatric care. 

Neil encouraged her to do this kind of things at the beginning of her career. “After a few year as an attending, you’ll be as lazy as I am and will remain your field. When you’re young in the job, you are full of energy. Do it if this is what you want. Don’t even doubt of you, Claire. You’re clever, you’re smart, you’re good at your job because you’re committed to your patients and dedicated to medicine.” 

Of course, time was not always so peaceful at home. As all couples they had fights. And in a way, it made Claire more confident with their relationship. It meant that they were able to get through tough times and always want to be together. The other days, they had an argument over toothpaste! If one day, someone had told her she will have an argument about this, she would have laughed. And it was kind of reassuring for her. She was really in a solid relationship where they could argue about a detail and then talking about medicine and finally sharing their thoughts about a book or a movie. And she loved this. 

She went home that night after a long day, he was already here, preparing the dinner. His diabetes had become so common for them, they didn’t even pay attention to it. The devices and the special diet was an old memory and tonight, they enjoyed eating a ham and cheese gratin. 

As they went to bed, she laid on his chest. He loved when he felt her warm cheek against his abdomen and her hand stroking his arm. They could have stayed like this for years. Last night had been crazy. She made him discover places he had never gone. He couldn’t stop kissing her lips, her skin, her breast. She was like a sweet candy he couldn’t do without. He always wanted more and she was ok with that. 

“Promise me, you’ll never leave me… I couldn’t go through another loss again. I mean… I wouldn’t make it… The past years have been too difficult.”

He stroke her head placed on his torso. He loved feeling her so close to him. She enjoyed his hand in her hair and the pleasant warm of his body against her cheek and chest. 

“Won’t go anywhere… I’m too good right now to go elsewhere... I’ve fought my feeling for too long, I’ve denied them to avoid the truth, not to break my moral principles… And at the end, where does all of this lead me? I’ve got a favoritism complaint against me while I was pushing my feelings away, I’ve almost lost my life during an earthquake, I’ve become dependent of a device to live and couldn’t eat solid food for more than 2 years…”

His voice broke. She cuddled near him and pressed her body stronger against his. She was here, she wasn’t going anywhere either. It was the moment he understood it was the time, the perfect time. He had kept this for him for too long now and to be honest she was the first and only person he wanted to share this part of him with. 

“Would you like to come with me somewhere right now?”

He seemed so mysterious. Claire was mysterious. Why moving when they were there like the last two people on Earth. She got up from the bed and went to get dressed in the bathroom. She put her jeans and Ramones tee-shirt and hoped it will be enough for the place he was taking her. As she went out, Neil was waiting for her sitting in the sofa. 

“Where do you bring me so late?” 

He took her hand and pressed it strongly. “Just want to take you somewhere I’ve never taken someone else.” She pressed his hand tighter. “Trust you with my life.”

They went to the car. Neil drove for about 45 minutes in silence before he parked the car. Claire looked at the building in front of her. It was huge. Not the place she imagined Neil will bring her one day. He took her outside the car and didn’t let her hand go away from his. It was like she was giving him the strength to do what he was about to do. 

They entered the building and walked through long corridors until they finally reached an office desk. Neil went to see the woman on the other side. He seemed to know her very well. Claire wondered who she could be. Alone in the corridor, she remembered her young years when she was taken in by the social services while her mother was god knew where. She shivered. She wanted to push away those memories far away from her mind. She didn’t want to remember these hard moments. But in the same time, where would she be if she didn’t experience them? These moments had built her, made the person she was now. 

As she was lost in her mind, she heard Neil’s voice. He was coming back to her. He led her to a door in another corridor. “I want you to meet someone” and he opened the door. There was a little girl in the room. Neil went to see her and hugged her strongly. Claire stayed away, she didn’t want to break the moment. As he separated from the little girl, he turned to Claire. 

“Claire, meet Gabbi, my sister. Gabbi, meet Claire, my fiancée.”

Claire didn’t know what she was the most shaken by. Meeting the famous Gabbi or Neil calling her his fiancée. She came to Gabbi and knelt to be to her height. And held her out her hand. Gabbi took it. 

“Nice to meet you Gabbi. Your brother talked to me a lot about you. I’m Claire.”

“Nice to meet you, Claire.”

Neil looked them for a while, then went away and let the two women alone. They needed to get to know each other. As he closed the door, Gabbi and Claire were seated at the table. 

“So, Gabbi, what do you like?”

“Puzzles!”

“I can see that. You have a lot of them here.”

“Neil brought me a lot. He often makes gifts to me, you know!”

“You’re a lucky girl, Gabbi. You have a very nice brother who loves you very much.”

She helped her to finish her puzzle. Gabbi told her about her life here, in the facility center, and how she often teased her big brother so he brought her more puzzles. She was really a great person as Neil told her. She was naughty, funny and full of energy. As they finished the puzzle, Claire asked her what she wanted to do. 

“Do you have a favorite animal? Because mine is otter …And seal!”

“Otter and seal, that’s so cool. Same as I! I do love dolphins too!’

Gabbi stood up quickly and went to his bed and came back with her little seal push toy.

“It’s Beebee, my seal. Do you like him?”

“He’s pretty cool. You want me to tell you a secret? I have one too!” 

Gabbi’s eyes opened wide. “Could you show him to me?” Claire agreed with a nod. She made her a hug. Claire knew she already like her. “I promise I’ll bring him next time I come. Of course, if you want me to come back…”

Gabbi seemed so excited by the news she jumped from her chair and went between Claire’s arms. Claire asked her a question to calm her down. 

“Where did you get him?”

“Papa gave Beebee to me!”

At that moment, Claire remembered what Neil had told her about his childhood, when his parents asked God why He gave them a little girl like her and Neil never understood them to even dare to ask a question like this. She was lost in her mind when she felt Gabbi pulling her arm. 

“Can I do your hair? You look like a princess…”

Claire saw stars in Gabbi’s eyes. She was not a fan of someone touching her hair –except for Neil- but she was so cute and she was asking so kindly. 

“Of course. But be careful, I’ve got a lot of hair! It can be difficult to comb.”

“I know how to do it. I comb the hair of all my dolls and they never tell me they are aching.”

Claire laughed. “So, let’s go.”

As Neil came back to the room, he remained for a while at the doorstep looking at the two women who counted the more in his life. Gabbi was combing Claire’s hair and put some unicorn clips everywhere. Claire was laughing and answering her questions about princesses and magic powers. 

His life finally made sense. Of course, his professional life had always been a success but his personal one had been a disaster: Jessica and him got separated after only three years of relation because she didn’t want to have kids, he started dating Audrey after getting drunk. The physical attraction was there, he liked her but there had never been the sparkles that made a relationship magical. To be fair, she was more a friend to him. He couldn’t imagine a future with her. And then there was Claire. With her, everything seemed easy. She was just there and it was enough. No need to get drunk (even if it was fun sometimes and drunk Claire was hilarious!). No need to make drama. Of course, they had some fights. It happened in a couple life but they always found a compromise. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt so happy, light, complete. When he thought about it really deeply, he came to the conclusion he never had. 

“Having fun girls?”

“Yeah! Look, Gabbi is making me a perfect haircut. Think I should go to the hospital like that. What do you think?”

“Definitively!”

Gabbi was so focused on Claire’s hair that she didn’t even look at his brother. 

“Gabbi, sweetheart, we’re gonna have to go. Mrs. Cooper was kind enough to let us come tonight when I didn’t even warn her in advance. But it’s getting late…”

“You really have to go?”

Gabbi had tears in her eyes. Claire immediately took her in her arms. 

“Oh sweetie… Don’t cry. We’ll come back really soon… If your brother agrees of course. Promise I have to bring you someone special!”

She looked at Neil with Gabbi in her arms. “Of course…. We’ll come as often as we can…” And he joined the hug. He didn’t think of anything else and put his arms around the two women he loved the most in the world. 

On their way home, both Neil and Claire were silent. This meeting brought too much emotion for the two of them. Finally Claire put her hand over his on the gearshift.

“Thanks.”

He used two of his fingers to grab Claire’s ones. They stayed like this until they came back to his apartment. This night, they made love. It was sweet. It was powerful. It was inspiring. He let his hands running all over Claire’s body. She let him do whatever he wanted with her. She trusted him. She wanted to be with him at any point. She kissed his body, drew his tattoos with her fingers, stroked his scars over his belly. They were still sensitive, she could feel him jump each time she touched them but he didn’t push her away. He let her do whatever she wanted to do. She was the only one who could do this, the only one he wanted to do this.

They shared this perfect moment. His lips over her body, her lips over his. Body against body. Their hands clutched. Their eyes connected and nothing else mattered except the moment of intimacy they were sharing. When they were too tired to keep going, they lay in the bed against each other and fell asleep skin to skin, only making one. 

On the morning, sun was all around the room. They didn’t close the shutters last night. Their instincts had given them other things to do, other territories to explore. And who cared to close shutters when your apartment was at the 25th floor with view all over the bay. Claire woke up first. The sun was right in her face. She was literally lying over Neil’s chest as she was afraid of him going away from her… Like anyone in her life up to now. He was the only person who remained constant in her life, who had given her the force to continue when her world had fallen apart two years ago. 

She looked at him. She saw his chest risen with each breath. She reminded of the time when she believed she had lost him forever, when she realized she might never see him again. And she measured how lucky she was right now. She was lying next to the man she loved. Of course they never told the three words out loud. But it was so obvious, so implicit. She didn’t even imagine spending her life with another man. Every fight made them stronger, every moment shared together increased their feelings. 

She finally woke up and made some coffee and tea for breakfast. When she came back to the bedroom with an ashtray, Neil was awake. 

“Hi”

“Hi”

Despite the fact they were together for almost a year, they were still shy when it came to talk. Like two teenagers so crazy in love they couldn’t put words on what they were experiencing. She sta in the bed next to him and gave him a cup of tea. 

“Thanks for yesterday. Gabbi is a really nice soul and I’m glad you introduced me to her.”

“I’m glad you’re a part of her life too… A part of our life… Claire, you literaly change my life forever. Yo know that? You know you won’t get rid of me by now…”

“Don’t plan to get rid of you old man.”

She giggled and lay on his chest, almost spilling the coffee and the tea over the blanket. He laughed. “Well done, Claire.”

“Oops… I almost ruin your blanket!” And she smiled. 

“Doesn’t matter.” And he pressed her closer to him. The blanket was nothing compared to the love he had for this tiny person. One day he’ll be able to tell her with words how he felt about her. But not today. He was not ready. He was still scared all of this was a dream. She put her rms around him and kissed his tattoo on his left shoulder. 

“One day, you’ll have to explain to me the story behind these tattoos.”

He laughed. “I’ll do.” And he pressed her tighter against his body. The day was really starting well.


	35. Chapter 35 - Celebrations

Chapter 35: Celebration

Claire was more than busy these days. She was about to validate her two new certifications in cardiothoracic surgery and in pediatric care. She was sad not to have enough time to help with the clinic. Neil told her it was not a problem. Morgan and Cassie were in control of everything. He helped too every Friday as he managed not to work at Bonaventure on this day. And Alex was always ready to come and give a hand. 

Today she passed her last exams. Six months of hard working, navigating between her patients, her surgeries, the trauma department, the studies and the work to do to validate her degrees. Neil had been nothing but supportive to her, even when she was annoying as hell. Did she really yell at him about a missing shower gel? OMG she was the worst! 

She decided to go to the clinic to see her friends and help with the patients they were receiving. More and more people were coming to be cared. Mrs. Lynch even called Neil the other day to congratulate him on the success of the clinic. She also announced him that Bonaventure committee agreed to sponsor the clinic for another two years. When she entered the clinic, Morgan was in the middle of the waiting room calling for patients. 

“Mr. Bamba. Come with me. I’m gonna take care of your foot.”

As she turned to go the consult room, she saw Claire in the doorstep. “Can I do anything to help?”

“Oh God, yes! Please take a scrub in the locker room and take care of some patients. Today is a crazy day!”

Claire went to the locker room and changed. She came back to the waiting room and started to examine the patients. One at the time. She treated a sprain, many colds, a twisted knee and a head injury. At the end of the day, she joined Morgan and Alex in the main office. They were drinking some scotch to relax. 

“Hey, look who’s here!”

“Hey Alex! Glad to see you!”

“How is our crack head? Did you finish to take all your exams?”

“Finished this morning. Now wait and see!”

They kept talking. Then, they went to the restaurant. Claire texted Neil she was coming home late this night. He answered her he was still at the hospital taking care of unexpected patients who came to the ER this afternoon. He will not be home anytime soon. She enjoyed spending the night out with Alex and Morgan. They talked a lot about their lives and the crazy decisions they had taken over the last few years. Morgan drove Claire and Alex at home. 

“First stop, Mr. Park! See you tomorrow?”

“I don’t think so, I have a big brain surgery in the morning and it’ll take the whole day to take care of the patient. Then I had to make a debrief with my residents. See you on Thursday, instead? Always Ok to go to the movies?”

“Yes. I come to take you at 7 PM at Bonaventure If it’s Ok with you?”

Alex nodded and smiled at Morgan. “See you then. Goodnight Claire, goodnight Morgan.”

He closed the car door and entered his building. Claire was smiling. 

“Soooo, Alex and you go to the cinema together…”

“Don’t go there, Claire.”

She laughed. “Oh come on, Morgan. I know something is going on between you and Alex since he joined us to work at the clinic. And it’s fine. In fact, I’d love to see you both happy…. And Alex is kind of hot!”

Morgan seemed embarrassed. “Come on…. Shut up… No Claire I assure you, we’re just friends…”

“To others, Morgan. Not to me. Not after what I had lived with Neil… Time is precious. Don’t waste it. I lost too much time not telling Neil how I felt about him and hiding behind some moral principles which only caused us too much troubles… Accepting my feeling for him and telling him the truth had been one of the most frightening moments in my life but also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Alex is a really good guy and I think he likes you too. Don’t be shy, don’t be scared. I wish I had been less shy with Neil because today I’m the happiest person in the world, believe me.”

Morgan remained silent for a while. “Thanks Claire for being such a good friend… Especially after what you’ve been through, especially after what I’ve done to you…” 

Claire got off the car and made Morgan promise to her she will think about what she had said to her. “Time is precious. Finding someone you can’t imagine your life without, it’s hard… Goodnight Morgan. See you tomorrow. I’ll come to the clinic, I’ve a group of teenagers to take care of!”

As she was walking to the entrance of the building, she looked at Morgan’s car fading away at the corner of the street. She hoped her friend will take into consideration her advice. She deserved to be happy. When she came to the apartment, it was empty. Neil was still at the hospital. She took a shower and went to bed. She was exhausted. 

This night, Neil came home late as he had predicted. Claire was sleeping in their bed. He remembered the time when she had nightmares. They were gone for long by now. Dr. Malkin had done a perfect job to allow Claire to move forwards from her past demons. He went to the bathroom to change and joined in the bed. She moved when she felt him under the quilt. He kissed her hair and her cheek. Then he put his arm around her waist and pressed against her. She let out a sigh. She knew he was here. He put his head on her shoulder and fell deeply asleep. 

A month later, Claire received the confirmation she had taken all her exams. She was officially certified in cardiothoracic surgery and pediatric care. She wanted to scream when she received the email giving her the good news. Instead she jumped in her office. She had to call Audrey and Marcus to tell them the good news. But right now, the only person she wanted to tell about was Neil. He had been so supportive of her project, and so nice to stand her when she was hypersensitive because of stress or tiredness. 

She made her way to the 5th floor and entered Neil’s office. He was so absorbed in his files that he didn’t see her coming. She looked around, came closer to him and dropped a kiss in his neck. He shivered. 

“What was this for? I thought you didn’t like to do this kind of love demonstration in public.”

“I did it. I did it. I passed!!!”

“Like you passed and you’re officially graduated in cardiothoracic and pediatric surgery?!?”

She nodded, smiling. He stood from his chair, grabbed her by the waist and lifted her up. “I knew it! I told you you were gifted Dr. Browne!!!”

He kissed her. “Let me take you to dinner tonight to celebrate! I promise I won’t offer you flowers. I don’t want to be classed as a lame or a romantic guy.” He laughed while putting her on the floor. 

“I don’t like romantics… except when it’s you.” She kissed his cheek and got out of the office. “I need to tell the good news to Audrey and Marcus.”

Neil was surprised by her answer. She always told him she hated romantics. From the very beginning, when they were hanging out as “platonic friends”, she confessed she thought guys sending flowers were a lame. He was proud to have proved her, romantic men were not always desperate guys or losers. Sometimes they were only men who were in love with their girlfriend…

On the evening, Claire and Neil joined at the entrance of the hospital. He grabbed her hand and told her to follow him. They left Bonaventure and Neil drove till a tiny street next to the harbor. They came out of the car and Neil led us to a tiny restaurant. She remained at the doorstep. “Wait for me just a minute, I come back right away.”

He was back a few minutes later. “If you want to follow me…” He showed her the way and led them to a small yard behind the restaurant. Here was a table and two chairs. A bottle of wine was waiting for them. Claire smiled blissfully, shaking her head. 

“What have you done?”

“Something to celebrate you. And as you say I was the only romantic guy you like…”

She jumped to his neck and put her head in his neck. She was fine here. She was safe. She was happy. Up to now, her life had been a mess. Meeting Neil had probably been the most important blessing in her chaotic life. She whispered in his ear “Thank you”. They joined the table and sat. “Time to choose our courses.”

Time fled when you’re with someone you like. They laughed, smiled, talked, shared new secrets about their pasts. 

“Can I ask you question? I’d understand if you didn’t want to answer…”

“Why all this mystery? What would you like to know?”

Claire cleared her throat. “In fact this is a question which is in my mind for almost a year… Or more…I couldn’t tell. But let’s say it became more insistent since you know… Our first night…Why antler tattoos?”

He looked at her, with a severe look. He could see her face crumple. And he laughed. She didn’t know what to think and then she laughed too. 

“Long story… you really want to hear it? We’re supposed to spend a pleasant dinner to celebrate your success.“

“I do!!! We spoke enough about me anyway. I really need to know about all the deer upon your chest.”

“Well if it’s what you want… Promise you, it’s not a funny story like an university bet which turned bad. In fact, I did make them when I was at uni but it was to honor the memory of my uncle who often took me with him when things were a little too hard at home… You know with Gabbi and my parents. Uncle Marty used to come and we went in his cabin in the woods. He loved hunting. I was not a fond of but at least, I was far away from drama and it felt good just to be a kid again. He learnt me a lot about animals and nature. And he died when I was 17… Just a few months before I got graduated and went to Stanford. So for his spirit always be with me, I tattooed antler on my chest. You know as a way to remember Marty.”

He remained silent for a while. She grabbed his hand. “Beautifully tragic story. Marty must have been a wonderful man! “

“He was.” He smiled at her. “He taught me a lot and made me believe in myself. He was the one who forced me to apply to Stanford to study medicine. He was there for me and Gabbi when my parents had given up.”

“I wish I could have met him.”

They remained quiet, looking at each other. She loved when he confessed to her about his past. He loved to tell her because she was listening carefully each time and never judged him. He finally broke the silence. 

“Done with the depressing stories! In fact, I’d like to tell you about something. I’m thinking about it for months but you were too busy. But now you’ve passed your exams, I think I can talk to you about the idea I have in my mind.”

Claire was both curious and puzzled at the time. What was in Neil’s mind? For a moment, she panicked. OMG he was gonna break up with her. All of this was too beautiful to be true. Each time, she got something good in her life, this thing vanished. She lost her mother when she tried to improve their relationship, she lost Jared when she was trying to reconnect. Why did everything needed to end badly for her??? 

“So I’d like to know if you agree to take some vacation with me… Far away from San Jose, from Bonaventure, from the people we know. Not that I don’t like our friends but I’d like to spend time with you and only you… And it could a way to celebrate your success. What do you think of this?”

Claire was hit in the feels. It was the last thing she was thinking about. She had imagined the worst when Neil was only thinking about taking her to vacation. “Of course. I’d love to go on holidays with you, Mr. Melendez! Where do you want to go? Have you any idea? I’ll take anything. I’ve never been anywhere except San Jose, San Francisco and Minneapolis. Some days off in Los Angeles or Seattle could be cool…”

“Claire, I’m not talking about a few days off… I would like you and me go on a big adventure in a foreign country, away from the country we’re living in like Thailand… I was thinking more about 4/6 months off… Because we need this time to heal, to discover one another, to simply live our story. I want to spend time just with you. I want to be 24/7 together because I miss you too much when I’m working and I’m feeling like we’re missing something… I went to see Mrs. Lynch in the HR to ask her some questions, telling her one of my residents was thinking about taking a sabbatical and it’s not that complicated… “

Claire was stunned. She was thinking some days off, not almost a half year. She was kind of freaking out because if she left with Neil, it would imply she set aside her career for a while and she had worked so hard to build herself. The time when her mother stole the money from her to buy drugs and the one when she fled from home when she was 18 was far away but she was still feeling insecure. But she was so tired. Those last few years had been such a bitch to her: she lost Jared, Breeze, she got kicked off her residency and she almost lost Neil during an earthquake she was still traumatized by. 

“You can tell me if this is a bad idea or if the timing is not Ok with you…”

“No Neil… Not at all… I love your idea… I was just… Thinking about us, my career, how tired I am after those last damned years…”

“And you came to the conclusion it was too early. I understand. You’ve just been graduated in cardiothoracic and pediatric surgery. And you’re only a doctor for more than a year… Not counting the residency years of course. We could go far away later. Just leave for a few days, it can be…”

She interrupted him. “Neil, I say, let’s do this. I’ve always been the person who follows the rules when it comes to my personal life. And all I know is that my life has improved since the day I’ve chosen to break those damned rules. So do it! Let’s spend 24/7 together and see if after this, we can still stand each other! I definitely need to go far away and any place will be great as long as I’m with you…”

For any answer, Neil stood up, came close to Claire and kissed her deeply. She loved when their tongues met. It was as if her body was crossed by electric shocks. When their mouths finally separated, Neil grabbed her waist and pressed her tightly against him. “My life has definitively improved too since we have broken the rules”.


	36. Chapter 36 - Madness

Chapter 36 : Madness

« Are we crazy?” 

Claire couldn’t stop repeating this line in her head since she agreed to take a sabbatical and to go in a foreign country she knew nothing about. She had never left the United States, not even for a medical colloquial. This morning, she went to the city hall to make a passport just before going to work. She was both excited to live this great adventure and completely panicked to the idea of living all she had ever known, all she had ever built. 

But Neil was right. She was exhausted and she needed to rest. The last years had been really rough. Rougher than what she had lived before. Her life had only been a succession of pain and suffering until she met Neil. He trusted her first as a doctor, then as a friend and finally as her better half. When she arrived at the hospital, it was the same routine: she went to her office. Audrey – once again – was not there for several weeks because she was on a business trip in New York with the board committee. She had to plan all her surgeries before leaving. She also had to find someone to replace her while she was away. 

Days like these repeated themselves. Long hours of work. Tons of patients. Neil was very busy too. They talked about their projects to Mrs. Lynch. This woman they had feared so much to begin with was in fact really nice. She helped them to fulfill the files and explained to them how their return in Bonaventure will be like. They could lose their positions if ever the board decided to. Neil and Claire told her they understood the consequences but they just needed to take a break, to breath away from San Jose, away from their bad memories to have a fresh start. 

They found a moment to talk with Park and Morgan. They met at the clinic after work. It was the easiest place to see each other as they were all overbooked. 

“You sounded so dramatic over the phone. Is everything ok?”

Morgan looked very preoccupied as she let them enter in her office. Neil and Claire smiled at her. 

“Alex is not there yet?”

“On his way. He was in the OR till one hour ago because of an emergency. Speaking of the devil. Look who’s calling. Ummm Ok. See you. He’s just arrived, he’ll be there in a few minutes. You want something to drink?”

Both made no with their heads. Alex arrived just a few minutes after. “Sorry I’m late, a bike accident Pretty bad one. The poor guy will make months, even years to recover… But enough talking about this, what about you two? Why did you ask us to come so quickly?”

“Actually… We have an announcement to make… And as you are our closest friends, we wanted to share with you first…”

“OMG you’re pregnant… Or you’re getting married… Oh yes that’s it ! Can I be your bridesmaid???”

Claire laughed. Alex looked at Morgan. She was really unbearable. “Please let them talk first, then you could be excited.” Morgan bent her head. 

“Morgan, I’m not pregnant. And you’re not getting married. In fact, we’ve decided to take a 6-month sabbatical to enjoy each other. We’re leaving in two months. Time to make things clear with Bonaventure.”

For once, Morgan remained clueless. Alex looked at her, laughing. “I’m very happy for you guys. You really deserve this break.”

“And as we leaving for quite a time, Claire and I have been thinking of you two to handle the clinic. Morgan, I’d like to give you my full power over the clinic while I’m away. Already talked with my lawyer and if you agree, you have just to sign some papers and it’ll be effective by the day we’ll be on the plane.”

Morgan didn’t know what to say. Too many emotions in a short while. She was happy for her friends but also sad not to see them for such a long time. In the same time, Neil was letting her lead the clinic on her own. It took her some minutes before she could tell some words. Claire notices Alex’s hand on her back and pressed Neil’s thigh. They exchanged a conniving look. She was right about them. Something was going on. In a way, they made them think of them. 

“I’m very flattered you think of me and I’m happy for you too. But it’s gonna be weird not having you around.”  
They agreed to spend as many evenings they could together before Neil and Claire leaving. But not tonight, they were all exhausted and they needed to sleep. 

[…]

Time fled when you’re busy. Claire and Neil didn’t count their working hours. Sometimes they were sleeping in their office to have more time to take care of their patients. They suffered not to see each other as often as they like but they also knew it was for a good cause: soon, they’ll only be the two of them. 

On his last day at work, Neil took some time to share his lunch with Marcus. His colleague had always been there for him, especially during the earthquake episode. He saved his life when the others let him down. He came with the device idea. He was the one who included him in the trial. He was the one giving him his normal life back. Diabetes was a small price to pay in the end. 

“Hey, ready to have lunch, traveler?”

“Hey Marcus! Yep. Just finish to sign these three files and I’m all yours. And it’s…done! Where are we going?”

“Was thinking about the little Italian restaurant on St James… Veronica’s ! That’s the name!”

“Perfect!”

They left the hospital and went to Veronica’s. They both ordered pizza. 

“So this is your last day here? I can’t imagine you’re leaving Bonaventure. You arrived only a few months after me. It’s gonna be weird not seeing you around. But I’m glad for you. You had a shitty couple of years and making a break is the best way for you to forget about all of this. I’ve never told you but I’ve always rooted for you and Claire… You’ve always had this special connection you can’t explain even how hard you try.”

Neil smiled to his friend. “You’re not the first to tell me this, Marcus… Deep down, I think I was rooting for us too from the start… I just didn’t know what it was. She had always been the resident who I was more conniving with. But you know, me and my moral… I convinced myself, she was too young when she was able to  
do her own choices, she was my employee when in fact she was my equal… And this big incident happened and I totally changed my way of seeing life.”

He remained silent for a moment. An idiotic smile on his face. “Enough talking about me. How are things between you and Isabelle?”

“Arg, I don’t want to break the mood but Isabelle and I are divorced… My fertility problems condemned our marriage… But it’s better this way. She’s happy, she has found someone and they’re about to have a baby. It’s better for the two of us… We were even bitter at the end of our relationship. And who knows what the future is planning for me?”

The two men kept talking for another hour and then finally made their way back to Bonaventure. 

“It was good to have lunch with you, Marcus.”

“Don’t forget me while you’ll be on the adventure of a lifetime with your better half.”

The two men separated in the elevator, each other returning to his office. Files were still waiting on Neil’s office. He wanted to make everything clear before leaving Bonaventure for the 6 next months. His patients will be taken in charge by Marcus and Alex while he will be away. And he wanted to be sure they will have all the information they will need. He wrote a lot of annotations on post its and stuck them in the patients files. He recorded some audio when the cases were too complex. His patients deserved the best, especially when he let them alone for quite a while.

This night, he came home late. A lot of work to finish before enjoying some time off. He was exhausted but before leaving Bonaventure for 6 months, he needed to have a clear out and close all the ongoing files. Or at least, to pass them to his colleagues with all the explanations they needed. It was a mark of respect for his patients but also for Marcus and Alex who were kind enough to take them in charge. 

He was just sad not to continue to take care of Mrs. Weeks. This nice woman was getting so much better since they replaced the defective valve. He entrusted her into the hands of Alex and Marcus. Of course, it was not their specialties but he needed to know Mrs. Weeks will be taken care of very well. Claire and he really loved this woman. She brought them more than they could have even thought of. She was a real member of their family (because it was what they were, weren’t they?). She was so kind and good-hearted. And she was there for them all the time. It’s gonna be weird not to see her for such a long time. 

Claire often went to her home to bring her some groceries and spent the rest of the day with her talking and cooking (she learnt her to make delicious cakes and pies!), he went to her home to help her do some gardening or move things she couldn’t shift by her own. She was like their granny and they both liked this.

When they told her, they were taking some months off to travel away from San José, she was even happier for them than they had been when they decided to do so a few weeks ago. They explained to her they wanted to take some times for them, away from the hospital when people were still gossiping about them. Even if they didn’t care, they were tired of this and they needed a break from all of this. Far away from rumors, far away from San José, far away from any traumatic memories linked to the earthquake.

He took off his clothes and took a long shower to make all the stress of the day fade away. In the blink of an eye, he realized it was the first time since almost 15 years he left San Jose and Bonaventure for a long while. He was feeling weird and in the same time, he knew it was the right decision to make. He managed to convince Claire it was too. At first, she believed he was joking. She never thought about leaving everything she had known to go on an adventure with him. And as he explained to her, she understood she needed to get away… At least for a moment because whatever she thought, she was still traumatized by what happened during the earthquake.

She told about this crazy idea to her therapist and she was very enthusiastic about it. Like she had been when Claire told her about the clinic project and her relationship with Neil which was “inevitable” to use her own words. Claire had always been honest with her, what did she have to lose? She saw her in her best and worst days. At first, she was miserable. She had just lost her mother, she was alone, frightened, shaken. 

Dr. Malkin had been more than a blessing. She helped her get through her PTSD. She was with her at every step of her relationship with Neil. From the boss to the boyfriend and all the steps between… And there had been many of them: friend, best friend, secret crush you don’t talk about, secret lover you’re so proud of but you can’t tell anyone, the man you plan to remain with for the rest of your life and maybe having kids with…

When Neil went in the bedroom, Claire was deeply asleep. She must have been waiting for him because her head was literally inside the book she was reading. Her nose was crushed again the pages and her hands were not holding the book anymore. Neil laughed. He liked to see her this way. He liked to be with her, to spend his free time next to her, not necessarily doing something, just be there and chilling. He loved his life as it was. It was the life he always had dreamt about and thought he never reached. 

He removed the book from Claire’s face and put it on the night table. She moaned for a moment. She always did this when he bothered her while sleeping. It was kind of cute. At least for him, it was. She finally chose to turn over to join the part of the bed she preferred. Neil burst into laughing. She slept so deeply on her novel that the ink of the page was printed on her cheek. 

At this precise moment, he realized this little tiny sleepy person, who had just fallen in a book and whose cheek was printed with ink was THE one. The person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, no matter what. She was his person and he hoped he was hers. He lay just next to her, kissed her head and put his arms around her. He held her tighter just to feel her, to know she was here, that she was not a dream. And he fell deeply asleep too to the rhythm of her peaceful breath.


	37. Chapter 37 - Away

Chapter 37: Away

He was crazy, she was crazy. Together they were crazy as ever. They left their jobs to go in a foreign country. She never took a plane to go this long before! As she sat in her seat, she began to stress. How will she react when the plane took off? What if everything went crazy and she broke up with Neil? Everything mixed up in her mind. As she was starting to freak out, Neil took her hand in his. 

“You know everything will be alright, right?”

“Yes, I do know that. I’m just scared, you know. I’ve never got on a plane to go this long, I’ve never left the country and I’m about to go to a foreign country, I left my job to take a sabbatical and I have absolutely no idea what’s going on…”

He laughed. “Be honest, you’re about to tell me I’m your worst mistake?”

She looked less tense. “You know that’s not true! I’m glad to do this crazy travel to Thailand with you. I’m just scared because this is the first madness I’ve done in my life. The only thing I can’t control. I’ve always been in control of my life. I had no other choice because of my mother. When I left at 18, I exactly knew what I was doing…”

“Let me guide you, Claire. Enjoy the moment, just be you, this is enough.”

She smiled. He was the only one who knew how to talk to her when she was freaking out. She pressed his hand. “Thank you for supporting me no matter what.”

“Always.” They share a long, meaningful look. No word needed. Just them. And the rest of the world vanished. 

“Now you enjoy the moment and you sleep because you’re gonna need to be in great shape to discover Thailand with me! You’ll see, this is an amazing place! I spent one of my happiest moments on Earth there… That’s why I want you to go there with me. Because I want to build more happy memories there with you…”

She kissed him. After a long moment, they separated, leaving their foreheads in contact. The flight attendant smiled at them and asked them to fasten their seat belts. “Happy honeymoon to you two. I bring you some champagne later to celebrate.” Before they had time to answer, she was already gone. Neil and Claire looked at each other and burst into laughing. “Married?”  
“Tssshh! We’re gonna have good champagne. What a better way to start this new chapter of our life and your first trip on a long-distance plane?”

The flight attendant came back later with two cups of champagne. “As I promise! See you when you get on the plane. You’re very cute together and seem so happy. Don’t change a thing!” And she left them. She had work to do. But she promised to come back with some little things for them. Claire and Neil felt embarrassed. She gave them two cups of champagne. It was enough but for a reason they didn’t understand, she kept offering things. And the flight was 16 hours left. They had to tell her the truth. 

“Sorry.” Neil told Tabhi, the flight attendant who had been so generous to them since they got into that plane. 

“You need something? I can get you...”

“No…Thanks, that’s very kind of you… You’ve done a lot for us… But...’” He stumbled on his words, not finding the right ones. Claire decided to continue. 

“But there’s a big misunderstanding. Actually, we’re not on our honeymoon… We’re not even married. We’re just on holidays… Our first ones to be exact… We’re very grateful to you for all   
you’ve done for us but we can’t accept anything anymore…”

Neil and Claire thought Tabhi would be embarrassed. Instead, she smiled at them. “Married or not, you seem like soulmates. I can feel this. You both release so much positive energy and I’m very sensible to this. That’s why I thought you were just married! Don’t be sorry, I’ll keep spoiling you for the rest of the flight. For me, this is your honeymoon, no one can tell me otherwise.” And she left to join her colleagues who were giving free juice boxes to the passengers. 

During the flight, Claire and Neil fell asleep. Both were exhausted. Their last months at work had been very hard. They needed to rest. Head against head. Hand in hand. Like two teenagers. As they woke up, Tabhi brought them some food. She really was the nicest person they ever met (with Mrs. Weeks of course!). As the plane landed, they waited all the passengers to be out of the plane to go and thank her for her kindness. 

“My pleasure! Wish you all the best. Hope this trip in Vietnam will help you to find what you’re waiting for.”

Claire and Neil got off the plane and put their feet in a new country, the head full of dreams and uncertainties but all sure they had made the best move of their life. “Time to grab the baggage.”

[…]

Here in Vietnam, time fled like hell. Every day, they discovered new places, new people, new customs. In Bangkok, time seemed to be different. Claire had never taken free time before. She fled from home when she was 18, she had to work two jobs to get money because her mother had stolen everything from her just to buy some drugs and alcohol. She accumulated roommates to pay the rent. Then, she had been accepted in medicine school and she worked twice harder. And then she arrived in Bonaventure and continued to work hard to be the best resident. Her efforts paid off: today, she was almost leading the trauma service, she had a triple competence in trauma, cardiothoracic and pediatrics surgery. 

And right now she was literally six feet under in a cave, miles away from San Jose, holding Neil’s hand and looking at the beauty the world offered to them right now. Khao Luang Cave was so gorgeous, so rich, so pure, so awesome. She had never imagined traveling so far to discover this kind of natural treasures, she had never dreamt of leaving her country to go on an adventure with the man she loved in a foreign country. And though, she was there and she didn’t regret to have left behind her her patients, her surgeries, her service. 

“Amazing, isn’t it?”

She just smiled at him and he knew she was happy. “We should bring Gabbi here one day.” It was his turn to smile at her. She was right. One day they will be back here and show Gabbi all these treasures. But right now, Alex accepted to take good care of her while Claire and him were not in San Jose. And he knew she was in good hands because when he introduced Alex to his little sister, she immediately took his hands and talked to him about puzzles and puppets.

“Could you excuse me for a moment? I just need to check on something.” And Neil disappeared for like one hour. Claire was puzzled but preferred not to ask more questions. She was on holidays and had to enjoy the place she was visiting. Talking about Gabbi should have woken up Neil’s protective instinct and his deep need to call Alex to know if everything was alright in San Jose. When he was back about an hour later, she just smiled at him and showed him one of the temples she had discovered in the cave. 

They kept exploring the country and visited Mae Salong. There, only silence and tea fields were surrounding them. Then they drove to Phu Thok mountain. The whole place was so peaceful and powerful in the same time. This mountain was so impressive. As they were hiking, they met monks in the monastery. They took some times to pray with them and also to allow Neil to calm down. Claire didn’t know he was afraid of heights. And walking in the mountain was not exactly the definition of spending a good moment for him.

“Didn’t say anyone… Except you right now but I think you’ve already guessed I was not enjoying the moment…”

“You should have told me… We won’t be here and we won’t be walking those footbridges with nothing but emptiness around us…”

“No… This is the place you wanted to visit, you were so enthusiastic when you talked about it in the plane… “

“And you choose me over your fear???”

“I’ll always choose you, Claire…”

She didn’t think for a second and jumped to his neck. She hugged him for a while before dropping a soft and warm kiss on his lips. He answered her. It felt like he put all the fear he was feeling in this kiss. Claire could feel all the passion and the strength of his embrace. She cuddled more strongly against him and deepened the kiss. After a few minutes they stopped, their foreheads touching. “I always choose you too, Neil… Hope you know that.”

She took his hand and finished to hike and go to the monastery. This retreat away from the city, in the middle of the woods was like a rebirth for both of them. The more time they spent together, the more they knew they were a perfect fit, their perfect fit, the one they were looking for years and had never found... until they came to terms with their feelings.   
Their trip continued to the south of Vietnam. They were on the roads for almost two months now. And it felt like it was only a few days since they left San Jose. Time fled where you were with your special someone. They stopped at Lake Cheow Lan to take some rest. The place was amazing, away from everything. They felt like they were lost, back in an old time where cellphones and microsurgeries were only a fantasy. 

“How did you know about this place?”

“If I told you, I have to kill you.”

“You know I can make you talk, right?” 

She looked at him with her naughty, mischievous eyes. God, he loved when she was so impish! People believed she was only a soft touch, an emotional person when in fact she was way more than this. She was funny, strong, smart, special. And she was his. At least, a part of her was because she was a free spirit and she was free to do whatever she wanted. 

They spent more than four weeks here, meeting with locals, learning their customs, their traditions. Neil often looked at Claire while she was laying with the children of the village. They didn’t talk about having children. In fact, they did but not about having children together. During her first year of residency, just a few time before he broke up with Jessica, he confessed her he couldn’t imagine his life without kids. She never said she wanted kids, she just said it was lucky that Jessica realized it before it was too late because some women like her mother didn’t and she almost drowned her. Did that mean she was reluctant to have kids because of this? It hoped it was not the case because when he saw her playing with these little boys and girls he knew she was the woman he wanted to have kids with. 

They left their house by the lake a few days after, heavy-hearted. All the moments they had spent here will be forever in their hearts and minds. These people showed them what living was worth for. They shared strong moments, met special people and learnt a lot about themselves. By now it was time to go the south and explore Ko Tarutao. When they arrived on this island, which served as a prison for years, Claire couldn’t believe her eyes. Once again, this place was stunning. Neil took her hand and left her to the shadow of a tree. On the ground, there were tiny monkeys. Some of them had babies on their backs. 

“Let me introduce you to our only neighbors for the next days!”

She stayed in awe for a while. She had never seen a monkey in liberty. It reminded her of her childhood when sometimes her mother was sober and brought her to the zoo. She smiled. “What   
are you thinking about?”

“Oh nothing, just an old memory.” She remained silent for a while. “Thank you for bringing me here, thank you for making me discover all these treasures. Thank you just for being you… I love you, Neil Melendez.”

She finally said it loud. She never shared these three words with him before. Even though she knew what she was feeling for him was very deep and strong. In fact, she couldn’t remember having said these words to a man before. She had been afraid for months to tell him how she really felt. She had been abandoned so often in her life that she didn’t trust human beings anymore. Then she met him as her attending, her mentor, her friend, her boyfriend, her everything. And she needed to let these words come out to know if he was feeling the same. 

She deeply knew he was caring about her. He always had. She was just wondering if he was as attached as she was. 

“I love you too Claire Browne. Thanks for having turned my life upside down, to have forced me to give up all my stupid moral principles and to show me every day how amazing life can be… Even when we argue about the best way to tidy our socks.”

He came closer to her and put his arms around her waist. He let his lip met hers and then enjoyed her presence in his mouth. All their kisses had been amazing but this one had something more, something special. They were in love and now they both knew how deep their feelings were for each other.


	38. Chapter 38: Alone

Chapter 38: Alone 

Claire woke up first. Neil was still sleeping on the sand. It was the first time she had ever had sex on a beach. This man revealed her craziness, her wildness, her freedom. All her life she had lived by the rules, now she was making them and it was funny, liberating. She loved being feeling this way. As if she had no ties anymore, like she was able to do anything. 

She jumped as she felt something touching her feet. A monkey was literally seated on her ankle. It was so unrealistic she didn’t get it right away. And she burst into laughing. Her giggles woke Neil up. 

“Sorry but lil monkey sat on my feet and it was so funny.”

She bent on him and kissed him. “ You know how I love this little noise of yours. I can’t be angry at you by waking me up like this.” He kissed her back. “Not tired because of last night?”

“Still have a lot of energy…”He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her to him. She giggled again and again. It made him feel like crazy. The heat of their bodies made them shiver. It was like a chemical reaction. When their skins were melting, they could feel the electricity running through their bodies. It was new and exciting. Even if they were together for one year now, they never got rid of this mesmerizing feeling. 

They spent a little more time on the beach before packing her stuff back and put on some clothes. This island was likely inhabited by monkeys but it was not a reason to stay naked all day. Taking each other’s clothes off was one of their favorite foreplay after all. They walked along the idyllic beaches for the whole day, only waiting to watch the gorgeous nature surrounding them. 

Neil told her about his previous trip in Vietnam just before he entered medicine school, his passion for Moby Dick and how he almost wrote an English literature thesis. 

“You really are into Moby Dick?!? It’s like one of the most boring books I’ve ever read.”

Claire burst into laughing. “How do you dare saying something like this? Moby Dick is a piece of art of the 19th century. Herman Melville wrote it after he got the idea when he was a whaler! Deep down he knew hunting whales was a bad thing and he showed people the strength of nature in this novel. He was such an avant-gardist when you think of it…” 

Claire looked at him captivated. He was so handsome when he was passionate, defending his point of view. And he was her man. And he told her he loved her. After all that she had been through, she couldn’t believe she had found her happy place. It was as if she was waiting for something to go wrong. Because in her life, everything had always gone wrong at some moments. 

“Claire? You’re alright? You’re not freaking out because you’re scared something is about to go wrong, right? You do know we’ve experienced our worst moments and now we can only live our best moments…” 

He took her by her chin and made her look at him in the eyes. Her eyes were wet. “You do know I will never let you down. I’ve literally survived an earthquake for you! “

She laughed. He did know how to talk to her. “I do know that but you know me… Always expecting the worst. Experiences made me think nothing is granted forever…”

“You grant me forever, dear. Deal with it!” He kissed her on the mouth and started to run. She ran after him trying to catch him because he was the only person in the world she wanted to follow in this world. 

Days on Ko Tarutao were melting like the snow under the sun. Neil and Claire left the island to join the continent and rent a new car to visit the eastern coast of the country. Neil had already planned everything and Claire had nothing to do but sitting in the car and waiting for the new place to discover. Her new hobby was to read maps and help him to find their way in the middle of the jungle, of the countryside or of the rice fields. After hours of driving, Neil parked the car in front of a hotel in the middle of nowhere. 

“Welcome to Erawan National park! This is where I almost broke my ankle diving in a waterfall. I’ll tell you the whole story later. Let’s go inside, it’s getting dark.”  
Claire dreamt of lying in a large bed. She was exhausted. All these hours in a car had finally fought her usual energy. She followed Neil inside the hotel. They waited in the lobby. She sat in the sofa, she was so tired she couldn’t stop yawning. A young woman came to see them. 

“Mr. and Mrs. Melendez, your room is ready. Sorry for the waiting. To excuse us, you’ll find a bottle of champagne in your room. If you want to follow me.”  
Even if she was half-sleepy, Claire was surprised to be called Mrs. Melendez once again. Of course, she hoped to get married one day but she never thought of this possibility since she was with Neil. Maybe because she was too scared to lose this little bubble of happiness they had built and thanks to which she was finally appeased. Neil winked at her. “Stop freaking out. And we have free champagne waiting for us.” 

“I’m not freaking out… This was just unexpected.” She stuck her tongue to him. And entered the room. The hotel employee explained to Neil how to reach the waterfalls and then let them alone while the groom was dropping their baggage in the bedroom. Neil thanked him, gave him a tip and closed the door. “Claire, where are you? I need you to hear what the hotel employee just told me, we…”

He found her on the bed, cuddled against the cushions. She was sleeping, snoring a little too. He made her slip on the left side, removed her shoes and hand bag, and covered her with the quilt before kissing on the forehead. “Have sweet dreams, Mrs. Melendez.”

Neil woke up the next morning, smelling coffee and croissant. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” Claire was already awake. She was sitting at the table, reading the newspaper.” I was waiting for you to start. I’m soooo hungry.”

He jumped from the bed and joined her at the table. Before sitting, he kissed her in the neck. She shivered. He knew it was a very sensible part of her body. For their first day here, they chose to rest. They had already travel more than 1500 miles and walked in the woods, tea fields and beaches. A little time to relax was more than welcomed. They enjoyed the commodities of the hotel: the spa, the sauna, the swimming pool and finally the restaurant. “I’m like in a dream!”

“You deserve it, Claire, you know that?”

She blushed. Even after all this time together, he knew how to move her. ”I’m not that remarkable, you know.”

“Sorry to contradict you but yes, you are, Mrs. Browne. I won’t be there if you’ve not been by my side and I won’t be the humble man I’m today if you‘ve not set me straight more than once.”

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it. This night, they fell asleep cuddled in each other’s arms. Them against the world. The next day, they took their backpacks and went in the woods to find the waterfalls Neil had so often talked about. As they reached them, Claire was once again amazed by the beauty of the place. They sat for a while to enjoy the nature surrounded them, the calm of the place, the sound of the water. 

Claire never thought she had the soul of an adventurer and here she was, in the middle of nowhere with the man she loved. Her mother would be surprised to see her like that. She had always told her she will end up alone because no one except her could love her unconditionally. She was toxic, always had been. She just wanted to keep her under control to have someone to take care of her. Parts of her childhood had been ruined because of her. She got back to reality when Neil asked her if she wanted to have a swim in the waterfalls. 

“I’d love to!”

On their way back to the hotel, hand in hand, still wet from their improvised bathing, Claire asked him about his almost broken ankle. “And tell me the truth!” He told her how he came here by accident, how his best friend asked him to jump from a rock and how he did it and almost landed on a huge spike. He only got bruises but he was shocked, traumatized; he could have been badly injured, or even worst, he could have killed himself. 

“I was young and stupid. But it’s a perfect story to seduce women.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. And promise me not to do this kind of things again!”

She turned and took a moment to hug him. Her head against his chest, her arms around his torso she liked so much, listening to his heartbeat.

“Never.” 

As the time passed, they continued to travel through Vietnam. She couldn’t believe there were so many treasures in only one country! Claire had a little heartache when she thought it was almost time to go back to San Jose and find her routine again. Not that she didn’t want to be a doctor anymore. She loved her job so much. She just felt new desires in her heart. Surely a brief off moment, the nostalgia of the end of the holidays. 

Sam Phan Bok was their last destination before going back home. Such a beautiful name for such a bittersweet memory. Yet the place was gorgeous: a large canyon and rocks worked by the time and the natural elements. Around them, nothing but emptiness. Claire started to like not being in a big city, she liked the big spaces when she had the impression to be free, to be without ties. 

“Lost in memories?” Neil asked her, putting his hands on her waist. 

“Just enjoying the landscape. This is so stunning…” Her voice lost in the wind. 

“We’ve just getting started, you know that?” He kissed her in the neck. “Plenty of other places are waiting for us. It’s just the beginning…”

She took his arms around her waist in her hands and pressed them. “I do know this, I’m just feeling nostalgic… I kind of really love the moments we’ve been spending here, just the two of us. No more gossiping, no more judgmental look, just us and infinite possibilities…”

Without a word, he took her hand in his and pulled her. They walked for another ten minutes. The place was over there, far from the ordinary paths. She followed him, he knew the place better than she did. But she was anxious, not knowing where she was going. They finally stopped a few miles away from the last hiking sign. 

“When I first come here, I got lost. I came hiking alone and don’t ask me why, I lost track of the hiking path and found this place. As I was looking for my way back, I saw this so special rock and I made myself a promise. If one day, I was in love with a woman I will bring her here… And here we are…”

He pointed to a special rock on her right. She came closer and see a heart-shaped gap in the it. How cute was it! She turned to him smiling. “I think you’ve brought all your girlfriends here.”

“Nope, not only one until you. You’re my first one, Claire Browne.”

“Really? In that case, I’m pretty honored, Neil Melendez. Even if I’m not fond of romantic gesture, this one is very nice.”

“So I’m not a lame?” 

He loved to tease her. She was always blushing. Then she stumbled on words and finally giggled. Which she once again did this time. This was at this moment, at this precise second, he knew. He searched in his pocket what he was hidden for several weeks now. He had bought it in a small shop in a small village he couldn’t even remember the name. He was waiting for Claire who bought some food for the road. And when he saw it, it had been so obvious, so he bought it and kept it in his pocket since. 

“Stop teasing me! I shouldn’t have told that. And by the way, I may like lame people…”

She turned back to the heart-shaped gap to take a picture. It was really too cute, she had to send a picture of it to Morgan and Alex, who seemed to be closer than ever, judging by the last email she shared with Morgan. She turned and raised her head to show Neil the message she was about to send to their friends when she saw him with something in his hands, something really tiny. Oh my God, it couldn’t be…

“Claire Browne, I won’t put one knee on the ground because you’d say, I’m so romantic and old-fashioned and you’d say you don’t like this. But I want to give you this ring because I want the world to know you’re mine and I’m yours. So here, in the middle of nowhere , in front of this spot I found randomly decades ago, I have a question for you Miss Browne, would you like to become my wife?”

Claire was stunned, like literally paralyzed. Will Neil just ask her to marry him? It seemed so unreal and in the same time, so obvious. She came closer to him, eyes full of tears. “Are you asking me what I thinking you’re asking?”

Neil smiled, she could see tears in his eyes too. He was shaky, sweaty and as insecure as she was. ”I think. Will you marry me, Claire Browne?”

“I will assuredly, Neil Melendez.”

Without leaving each other’s eyes, he put the ring with a jade stone on Claire’s left ring finger before kissing her with passion. As their lips got apart, they shared a conniving look. He pressed her hands in his. “Think we’re engaged then.”

Claire gave him a faint smile and reached his hand. She was engaged to Neil Melendez!


	39. Chapter 39 - Together

Chapter 39 : Together

Claire and Neil spent another 5 days in Erawan National park to enjoy the nature and the calm before going back to their crazy life in San José. 

This day, when they came back from the heart-shaped rock, they both had this idiotic smile on their lips. Hand in hand. Not a word. They made their way to their bedroom and made love. It was sweet. Claire loved when Neil stroked her breast, her stomach, her legs. It was so soft and so hot at the same time. She could feel her internal temperature getting so hot, she was sweating. He knew she liked when he did this so he kept skimming her so soft skin. He could feel her shivering under his fingers. Her body was contracting. 

She could not stop kissing his chest, his neck. She let her hands running through his hair, his torso, his muscled bottom. Oh God she liked to touch his body, to feel him close, to feel him inside her and making her feel sensations like no one before. He helped to reach an orgasm, she was like on a cloud, surrounded by Neil’s arms. He was good, he was really good. She could do anything else than moaning of pleasure. 

Neil was glad he had had one day the courage to tell to this little tiny woman he loved her. When he was with her, in her, it was like nothing else mattered. She was pretty gifted in many fields. She was full of surprises. Never a woman had made him so satisfied. As she was on him, he couldn’t restrain a deep sigh of pleasure. Touching her breast, her legs, her whole body was so mesmerizing, so intoxicating. He will never get rid of it. As they got tired of exploring their bodies, they lay against each other. They were naked, they were free, they were happy. 

“Have sweet dreams, future husband.”

“You too, future wife.”

Neil kissed her forehead. She fell asleep quickly, her head on Neil’s chest. He could listen to her breath. Sometimes, she sighed, sometimes, she snored a little. She was adorable. She was perfect. She was his. And he could never thank the heaven enough for this gift. He fell asleep looking at Claire and thinking about the last present he could give her here in Thailand before going back to reality. 

When she woke up, he was still asleep. She looked at him, skimming his skin, just to check everything was real. As she was contemplating her man, she noticed a new tattoo on the inside of his left arm. She never saw it before. And if she remembered well, until a few days ago, he had a dressing at this place. Had he gotten a new tattoo recently? She should have noticed! She looked closely. It was a little angel. It was nice but definitively not coherent with all the other antler tattoos across his chest and on his right forearm!

A few minutes later, Neil woke up too. He turned his head to see Claire’s face. “Good morning, pretty face.” She smiled and giggled. “Good morning, handsome man.” 

He laughed, not expecting this answer. Then, they remained some minutes silent, looking at each other. The idiotic happiness from yesterday was still there, it ran all over their bodies, making them feel all over the place. 

“I found out about your new tattoo.”

“Oh this one?” he showed the little angel inside his left arm. She nodded. “I made it in Khao Luang Cave. When I left you for a while… In fact, I saw the monks of the place were making special tattoos and I wanted to do one just to celebrate the two of us, here, together, alone…in love….” 

She dropped a kiss on his chest and locked her eyes in his. She didn’t know what to say. It was the nicest thing someone had done for her. She pressed herself closer to Neil. She was not good with words to show her emotions. To be fair, she too often stumbled on them trying to express how she felt. He dropped a kiss on her hair and stayed a while to smell her perfume. 

“Why an angel? Is there a figurative meaning? I mean… As much as I like it, it has nothing to see with your antler collection…” 

She let her fingers run over the so-called tattoos while talking with him. He reached her hand and took it in his. 

“I made it because you’re my angel… Without you, I’ll be six feet under. You force me to fight, to believe in life again and to forget all about my demons…”  
This afternoon, they didn’t leave their bed, enjoying each other’s bodies again and again. 

As the days rose, Claire was up. The entire last day had been so deliciously good, she still smiled thinking about it. Making love with Neil was one of the sweetest things in her world. He could be so soft and passionate in the same time. She loved this mix, revealing her own wilderness. She got up early to make her baggage. Their trip in Thailand was coming to an end. Bittersweet day. Tomorrow at the same time, they’ll be in a plane for San José. 

Of course, she was glad to see her friends again and to practice medicine. But she was sad not to be only with Neil. She really enjoyed those last 6 months away from any negativity, any judgement. She just missed being a doctor, it was written in her DNA. 

“Already up?”

“Yes, I wanted to prepare my suitcase for tomorrow. You know…”

Neil woke up. He came closer to Claire, put his arms around her waist and placed his head in her neck. He loved being there, just kissing her and smelling her hair, her perfume. “About this… We’re not leaving tomorrow finally… I have one last place to show you before we get back to San Jose. It was not planned but it means a lot to me and I wanted you to see it…”

Claire turned to see his face. “What? I thought…” She looked puzzled. She didn’t see this coming. 

“Oh but if you like I can call the airplane company and ask them if there’s still…”

She put her forefinger on his mouth. “I just want to be with you. Any more moment spends with only you is the best thing I could ever have ask for. But how do you convince Mrs. Lynch to give us more days off, I think 6 months was the maximum we could take without risking our positions in Bonaventure…”

“What can I say? Mrs. Lynch adores me!” He kissed her on the mouth. She kissed him back. 

A few hours later, they were in the car, ready to go on the road again. “Where are we going?” Neil stayed silent, smiling. “You won’t tell me, right?”

“Guess you’re right! Even if you look at me with your puppy eyes.”

He drove for hours before stopping the car in front of a large lake. The view was amazing. Lotus everywhere, this was unbelievable! “Neil, this is beautiful!”

“Welcome to Talay Bua Daeng. It’s even better when we get out of the car!”

They got out and enjoyed the view for several minutes. The panorama was stunning. Claire remained voiceless for a while. Neil enjoyed the landscape too, then gathered all the strength he had left to ask Claire if she’ll be too crazy to agree to the idea he had two days ago. He took a deep breath. 

“Claire, I’d like to talk to you about something…”

“Yeah… What is it? You seem so mysterious. It scares me, Neil…”

He reached her hand. “No need to worry… It’s more like a proposition, an offer, an idea I’ve got two days ago…” She looked at him with questioning eyes. He continued. “As we are engaged then, I was thinking about getting married here… Only the two of them…”

She was surprised. She was delighted. She was… She had no words. On the contrary, Neil was stressed, anxious. “So would you agree to marry me here? I know it may sound crazy but I want to do it when we’re only the two of us. Of course, we could host a little ceremony at home with our closest friends. But first, I would like just to be with you… What do you think of this? “

For any answer, she kissed him deeply, made his tongue turn upside down before totally connecting with hers. Then, she put her head on his chest, listening to her favorite sound in this world. She pressed her body against his and finally looked at him in the eyes. 

“No one has ever asked me to do such crazy things. I don’t know why but when I’m with you, I feel like I can do anything and it’ll be an honor to become your wife here… If you do accept to marry me in shorts and flip flop because it’s all classy I have in my backpack!”

“I think we can figure it out this last point.” 

He drove up to the hotel on the coast of the lake. As they arrived, a man waved at them. “Hey Neil, how are you?”

“Hey Ben. Glad to see you! It’s been so long. How are you?”

“I’m fine. Happy to have never come home to be fair. I’m so glad to see you! How life is going? And most important, who’s this beautiful woman with you?”

“Ben, meet Claire, my fiancée.” Claire literally shivered when she heard Neil telling these words. “Claire, this is Ben, my childhood’s friend who made me jump into the waterfalls.”

Claire couldn’t restrain a laugh. “Nice to meet you.”

“Let me just a few minutes and I show you your room!”

Ben left them. “So this is the man who almost killed you?”

“Yes! This misfortune both taught us so many things: for me, it was my faith in medicine, for him, it was that he never wanted to go back to the States.”

“Glad you chose medicine then.” She winked at him. 

“And I’m back if you want to follow me.” Ben led them to a stunning room which overlooked the lake. Both were in awe. “This is beautiful…” 

“And it’s all yours for the week to come!”

“We can’t accept, this is too much.”

“Anything for you my friend! Speaking of anything, I found a priest who’s ready to officiate on Thursday…”

Neil went to him and shook his hand. “Perfect!”

“And Claire, I think you should talk to my wife, Hansa. She may have something to help you! You can meet her tomorrow, if you like. Tonight, she had to pick our sons to their drawing lesson.”

Claire nodded. This last escape was full of surprises. Even Neil seemed to know nothing about what was going on then. “See you tomorrow!” And Ben closed the door, leaving Neil and Claire alone in this amazing suite. They spent some more minutes to explore the room. It was so huge and the nature surrounding them was absolutely stunning. 

“I’ve the impression of being in a dream… except it’s real. But I can’t believe it. Is this crazy?”

He looked at her and smiled. They were at the place they needed to be. “Not crazy, just perfect….” She smiled back at him. “Yes, perfect.” The evening went well, maybe too short. They had dinned in their suite. Ben ordered them two menus and made them deliver in their room. The food was delicious. After dinner, they sat in the sofa right in front of the patio door. Nature was amazing during the day. But in the night, it was more mysterious, more impenetrable. They could hear the noise and the yelling of the animals living in the jungle under their eyes. They tried to guess for hours what kind of animals it could: Monkeys? Lemurs? Varans? Elephants for sure! 

“I’m gonna miss this when we get home.”

“Yeah, me too.”

She cuddled along Neil and put her head on his shoulder. He placed his arm around her to keep her even closer than she was. “Forever in our heads, forever in our hearts.” 

“Always.”

They stayed like this for hours. They didn’t want to move, they didn’t want to go anywhere. They just wanted to be next to each other and enjoy the view. The definition of a perfect evening for the both of them.


	40. Chapter 40 - Forever

Chapter 40: Forever

They heard a knocking on the door… Sun was already high in the sky and they were literally sleeping on each other in the sofa. They must have felt asleep looking at the nature yesterday evening. Claire rubbed her eyes to help them open. She was not a morning person. Neil dropped a kiss on her cheek and walked to the door. 

“Coming.”

As he opened the door, he saw Ben. “Sorry to bother you. Didn’t realize you were not up yet.”

“It’s Ok. We didn’t hear the alarm clock. We slept very late last night.”

Ben smiled at him. “Not what you’re thinking of. We were busy watching the nature surrounding us.”

“You understand why I don’t want to live anywhere else?”

Neil nodded. He was a very lucky man. Ben turned towards a woman who were just behind him. “Neil, please meet Hansa, Hansa, meet Neil.”

“Nice to meet you! Since the time Ben is talking about you, it’s nice to see a face!”

“My bad! I promise him to come so many times and had to cancel at the last time…”

“He’s a bad friend.” Ben laughed. “And the person just here having troubles to wake up is Claire, Neil’s fiancée.”

Claire stood up from the sofa and came to see Hansa and Ben. “Nice to meet you, Claire. My husband told me we’re gonna spend the whole day together. At least if you’re OK with it. I may know some places that could interest you and I’d like to bring you there.”

“It’d be a pleasure to come with you. Just let me an hour just to dress up and have some breakfast and I follow you anywhere. These guys need time to talk about their past achievements.”

Claire stuck her tongue to Neil. It was one of their things. They loved teasing the other. Hansa looked at her husband and laughed. “They remind me of us, don’t they?”

One hour later, Claire was in car with Hansa. Neil and Ben had decided to go hiking for the day to remember their young years. “It’s very nice of you to help me.”

“My pleasure! When Ben asked me if I can help, I agreed immediately. You don’t get married every day! And I love to go shopping, so it was not too hard to convince me!”

Claire already liked this woman. She was fun, she was frank and she probably knew a lot of things about Neil’s past. The closest town was one and a half-hour drive from the hotel. Perfect time to get to know each other. Hansa asked Claire about her job, her life in California. It seemed so exotic for her who had never been anywhere else than in Thailand, Laos and Vietnam! Claire asked her about life here, about her first date with Ben and how they met. Before they had time to think, Hansa was already parking the car. “And we are in Ventiane! Welcome to Laos!”

Claire kept her eyes wide open. It was beautiful! All these temples, these statues, these huge stone doors. She was impressed. “Lost in memories?”  
Claire smiled. “No I was watching the panorama. Ventiane is absolutely stunning!”

“It is! Too bad I don’t have enough time to make you visit the city. Maybe next time! Today let’s focus on what you’re gonna wear on Thursday!”

Hansa brought her in a little shop in a tiny street. She knew the place so well. This shop was everything Claire could ask for. They spent the afternoon there. Claire tried a lot of dresses before choosing the one she wanted to wear for her wedding day. She couldn’t believe she was about to get married to Neil! She had felt something for him from the moment she met him. But what she was living with him was way more than a crush, it was a magical adventure, despite some disagreements and arguments. 

Hansa helped her to select the perfect dress and to choose the shoes to go with, and some jewels too. Nothing too big. Claire liked very discreet necklaces and earrings. When she had found anything she needed, Hansa took her to a small restaurant where they served true Laotian food. On their way back to Talay Bua Daeng, Claire thanked Hansa for her patience and her advice. 

“I’m very happy I could help you. Neil and you seem to share something really special. Ben explained to me Neil had always had complicated relationships. Two of them really marked him… You know… This woman who didn’t want kids broke him hard… And the other he had a short affair with, the one he confessed it was a big mistake…”

Claire lowered her head. She knew about these two. She knew the women she was talking about. She had even worked with them.

“Neil loves you, Claire. I can see this only by looking him watching you. He seems hypnotized every time you’re around. You’re a pretty lucky girl and I can say by the way you’re looking at him, he means the world to you too.”

Claire nodded. “He saved me, you know… When I was down, when I was alone because I had lost everyone around me, he came out of nowhere and helped me to get better. I don’t know where I’d be if he hadn’t been here to help me understand life was worth it.”

“You’re soulmates, sweetie. When I met Ben, I felt the same way. Almost 20 years later, after having 3 kids together, nothing has changed. I can feel the same passion, the same feeling between you and Neil. Believe me, God put him on your way for a good reason. He saved you, you saved him and now, you’re gonna start a great adventure together. Now get to sleep, tomorrow’s gonna be a big day. I’ll come to see if you need any help to prepare. Have sweet dreams, Claire.”

Before leaving Hansa, Claire hugged her. She needed to show her how grateful she was for the day they had spent. “Thanks for everything, really, it means a lot.” Claire joined her room. Neil was in their bed, reading a novel. She went to take a shower and came in bed. She cuddled next to him and put her head on his chest. 

“Hope I don’t bother you…”

He just smiled and dropped a kiss on her hair. “Couldn’t be better.”

The next thing, she knew was that she was deeply asleep. She had a lot to do on the next day. 

Thursday was already here. When she woke up, Neil was already gone. He let her a note. He was using Ben and Hansa’s apartment to get prepared. She could use the suite as long as she wanted. The ceremony was planned at 4 PM. She decided to stay in bed for a little while, just to empty her head and focus on the most important: Neil and she were going to be married in a few hours! She wanted to scream, to yell, to jump because she was so excited. But she had to get prepared first. 

Claire got her dress out of the box. She delicately put it on the bed and spent a few minutes to look at it. She liked it, she liked it a lot. It was simple but elegant, pure but a little naughty. She dressed up. She made up on her own, just a little of gold eyeshadow and mascara, some blush and red lipstick. She put her little zircon earrings and her jade necklace. Hansa joined her later and brought her a white jasmin bouquet. 

“For the gorgeous bride… You look amazing. Neil is a lucky man.”

Claire blushed. “Thanks for everything Hansa.”

She nodded. “Just tell me when you’ll be ready and I‘ll take you to meet your future husband.”

Hansa closed the door and let Claire alone in the room. Before going, she needed to stay by her own for a while. She had no doubt, she knew what she was doing was the right choice, the only one to be fair. She had fought her feelings for Neil for too long, she had lost a large amount of time trying to convince herself she was not in love with her then boss and mentor. All this time was far away now. She looked at herself in the mirror. She seemed appeased, peaceful, happy. 

Hansa left her near the alley that led to the altar. Lotus flowers were on the ground. Claire followed them and saw Neil wearing a black tuxedo waiting for her next to the priest. She took a deep breath and walked to him, pressing her bouquet in her hands. 

Neil couldn’t look at anything except her. He was in awe in front of this tiny woman. Her short white dress just fitted perfectly on her. He liked it, he liked it a lot. It looked like her: macramé on her shoulders, made in white linen, bohemian style, and a little lace belt round her waist. She even had a white orchid in her hair that she kept romantically undone with rough partings and soft, flexible tumbling natural waves.

She stopped in front of him. She was smiling idiotically, so did he. Before the priest started, he whispered. “You look beautiful”. 

“You’re not so bad yourself.”

He grinned and took her hands in his. It was time. The priest gave them a benediction. Hansa and Ben were there to assist him and bring the flowers to bless their union. Claire could prevent the tears from coming to her eyes. Neil refrained his too. This moment was so singular, so unique, like them. 

“I guess it’s time now for the young bride and groom to speak.”

Claire and Neil looked at each other, a little embarrassed, their hands tied. “You go first.” They laughed. How was it possible they said the same thing, at the same time. Hansa, Ben and the priest let out a laugh. “So if you don’t mind, I go first…”

Neil took a deep breath and began telling his vows: 

“This had not been quite easy to wake up one day and to learn I was disabled for life…The surgeries, the rehabilitation, the protocol device and finally the diabetes… Which is a simple price to pay when you think of it! During these hard times and even before that, you were here, you always have been here. From the beginning, from the day you went against me about a patient who needed a psych consult before surgery because he was not ready. You told me – reluctantly – the contrary of superior was subordinate. You were not scared of hierarchy, of embarrassing your attending. You did this in front of everyone, you discussed the words of your chief without even doubting. You just said what you had to say.”

He paused for a moment. She was looking at him, smiling and pressing his hands in hers, letting out some giggles from time to time when he remembered of this embarrassing but rewarding moment in front of everyone in the ER. He pressed her hands in his.

“You have been challenging me since, like anyone never did before. You’ve forced me to listen to the others, to admit that I was not always right… Even if I am many times…”

He winked at her.

“You’ve reminded me why I became a doctor in the first place, why I got into medicine. You’ve made me understand that arrogance didn’t make me a better person- as I was convinced before. That only good will and commitment to my patients can make me a better surgeon… A better person.   
You’ve given me a purpose, a goal…You are making me better everyday. I’ve become a person I’ve never thought I could become. I am a better version of myself. I would not have been like this if you have not been by my side. Especially when everything turned bad for me. You never let me down. On the contrary, you even spent more time with me.   
You’ve helped me to get through this nightmare, to learn things about myself, about you, about us. You’ve helped me to understand I can have a happy life with disabilities, that the same disabilities make me stronger… That the only thing I couldn’t live without is you… You’re my better half in life like at work. You’ve never failed me even in the worst moments…   
Sometimes, you just sat and listen to what I have to say and it’s enough. You know my strength, my weaknesses, my fears and you never judge me. You love me for who I truly am… You love me because I am who I am. And I am who I am thanks to you. I love you, Claire Browne. And every day, I thank God He put you in my path. Because without you, my life would have never been complete.” 

Claire let the tears coming out of her eyes. And seeing that Neil’s eyes were wet too didn’t help her to stop crying. It was her turn to speak, her voice was shaking.   
“Growing up I had nothing. My mother was never there for me. I learnt to take care of me by myself. I had no one to lean on. I built myself alone. And I made a promise to my young self: I will succeed in everything I’ll undertake. I will never become like her, I could not impose that to anyone. And if one day, I’d become even the half of what she had done to me, I will lock up myself away from anyone.”

He pressed stronger her tiny hands in his. He knew how difficult it was for her to talk about her past that, despite everything she said, was still haunting her. 

“And one day a teacher told to me I was gifted. And I started to believe in me. I worked hard every day and often I forgot about other people. As I was left to my own devices, I made some mistakes. I stole oatmeal and tomato soup form the supermarket to survive. .. I made it several times until a security guard saw me when it fell from my back bag. She was nice to me. She didn’t judge me… You don’t either. You accept me for who I am and I know sometimes I can be very stubborn.”

They laughed and shared one of their conniving looks. Right now they were alone, in their own bubble. 

“When I arrived in Bonaventure 5 years ago, my life came to a turning point. You taught me to be more self-confident, to defend my ideas with passion, to argue when no one was listening to me. You taught me I was more than a soft touch, I was as harsh as any other resident, as any other doctor. You taught me that being a soft touch was not necessarily a bad thing. It was MY thing!  
You change my life in so many ways…. Many ways I would have never thought of, even in my wildest dreams. You make me feel me, you make feel loved, you make me feel alive. I deeply love you, Neil Melendez, with my whole heart and soul.” 

Claire ended telling her vows, tears rolling along her cheeks. She finally said it out loud, she told him how she felt about him, how he made her feel. And judging by the way he was crying too, he shared the same emotions as she. The priest talked again and gave them the benediction. Ben gave Neil the ring for Claire, Hansa did the same with Claire. 

“Do you Neil Melendez, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do.” Neil delicately took Claire’s left hand and put the ring to her finger. 

“And you, Claire Browne, do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I surely do.” She placed the ring on Neil’s finger. 

“Then by virtue of the authority vested in me, I hereby declare you husband and wife, you may kiss the bride.”

They were both crying. It was happening, it was true. They were married, they were officially husband and wife. Their first kiss as a married couple had nothing to do with the first they ever shared. If this latter had been passionate and wild, the one they shared this time was more delicate, deep, connected. The promise of being together forever, of never letting the other go whatever the obstacles they were about to handle. Together as one, forever against the world.


	41. Chapter 41: Going back

Chapter 41: Going back

They were married. They barely believed it. Hansa and Ben came to hug them after the priest declared them husband and wife. “Congratulations!” They both yelled in the same time. “We are so happy for you!”

Neil and Claire hugged them back. “Now if you want to follow us, we prepared some little things for you.”

“No, you didn’t…”

“Seriously bro! You really thought I was gonna let my best friend marry without even preparing him and his loved one a wedding party?! Hansa helped me to plan something cool!”

Hansa and Ben took Neil and Claire to a small room at the end of the lobby. Inside, their three kids were having fun listening to a small band playing music. Some balloons, some orchids on a table, a little wedding cake on another. Neil and Claire shared a conniving look, it was perfect. They turned to Ben and Hansa. 

“We could never thank you enough for what you did.”

“Our pleasure, Claire. Thanks to you for making Neil so happy. Never seen him like this before.”

Claire let out a smile. “He changed my life too.”

Hansa and Ben called their boys and let Claire and Neil enjoyed their party. “Shall we dance with me, Mrs. Melendez?”

“Mrs. Browne-Melendez! Not letting go of my family name so easily.”

Neil laughed. She was stubborn and determined. That was why he loved her so much. “What are you laughing at? I’m not kidding!”

“I was sure you were about to tell me you only kept Browne and chucked Melendez out.”

“I’m not that awful!”

He pulled her closer to him and lost his face in her hair. She put her head against his chest. It felt so good to be like this. They kept dancing for a moment. They didn’t know for how long. Who cared anyway? They were just the two of them. 

After a while, he invited her to eat a part of their wedding cake and offered her a glass of champagne. This party might have been small and simple but it was all they liked. No need of embellishment when you already got all you wished for. “Promise me this is all real, Neil…”

“It is… Even better that I could have never imagined.” He kissed her, it didn’t matter her mouth was full of cake. Her lips were even more appealing. She kissed him back and giggled. “Stop Neil, I’ve got cake everywhere.”

“Don’t care!” And he kissed her again and again as if both of their mouths couldn’t spend a moment without connecting. He stopped for a moment, kept her head in his hands and looked at her in the eyes.

“Stay here, I’ve got something for you. It’s not a lot but I’d like to give it to you, right now.” 

Claire looked at him puzzled. “Ok I’m not going anywhere. By the way, you know that since this day, you can’t get rid of me so easily.”

Neil smiled. “Not even crossed my mind. Just stay here, I promise I’ll be back in a few minutes. He ran to the band and asked something to the singer. He came back to her with a ukulele in his hands. 

“You do know how to play ukulele?”

“What can I say? I’m a man of multiple talents!”

She laughed. Then she felt both embarrassed and blissful. What was he doing? He sat in front of her and started playing and singing.

[i]“Oh I hope you know,  
Oh I hope you know,  
That I was barely hanging on,

When I first saw you I was pitful,  
And I was losing every night.  
I asked if you might,  
Stay a while,  
Oh stay a while,

You said maybe if your voice could,  
Make me smile,  
Oh make me smile,

And I told ya give me one chance,  
I don't deserve you to give me this one chance,  
You're my medicine,  
You're my medicine.

Oh I hope you know,  
I hope you know,  
You pulled me up when I was down,  
You showed me love when I knew hoplessness,  
Breathing slowly softer sounds.

I asked if you might,  
Stay a while,  
Oh stay a while,

You said maybe if your voice could,  
Make me smile,  
Oh make me smile,

And I told ya give me one chance,  
I don't deserve you to give me this one chance,  
You're my medicine,  
You're my medicine.

And maybe I hold you,  
Maybe I look you in the eyes,  
And maybe I give it all to see you smile,

And maybe I hold you,  
And maybe I look in the eyes,  
And maybe I tell you that I love you tonight.

You're my medicine,  
You're my medicine,  
You're my medicine (Oh I hope you know)  
You're my medicine (Oh I hope you know)  
You're my medicine (Oh I hope you know)  
You're my medicine.”[/i] (Havelin – Medicine)

Once he has done, she was voiceless. He grabbed her hand. “I’m not a good singer as you are but I just wanted to show you how important you are to me…. Thank you for making me the happiest man on Earth, Claire Browne-Melendez.”

She embraced him and pressed him so much he thought he couldn’t breathe anymore. Their forehead met. Head to head. Not a word. Eyes locked. Just them connected.

“Even despite my messy habits and my stubbornness?”

“That’s part of the whole package. I can do with it.”

They danced again for a while. Then the band came to tell them goodbye. ”All our congratulations. You really do belong together. You look so happy. Love seems so easy with guys, don’t change a thing.”

Claire and Neil thanked them and looked them leave. “It seems that now it’s only you and me…”

“Forever, Neil.”

This night, they didn’t sleep a lot. As soon as they joined their bedroom, they couldn’t control their irrepressible urge to touch their bodies, to feel their warmth, to share their energy. They needed to be with the other, in the other. They needed to mix their tongues and show how much they meant to each other. There were soft moments, others were wild. One at a time, above and under, leading and following, learning and teaching. They fell asleep hours later. Neil’s head lying on Claire’s naked breast. She played with his hair – a little longer since they were traveling through Thailand – some minutes before falling asleep too. 

On the morning, when they woke up, they had this blissful smile on their faces. They were happy, they were married. Whatever they will find in San Jose, their lives will never be the same. They had made a promise to love and respect each other till death did them apart and they were determined to honor their words. 

“Ready to go home? “

“Not really… But I think we have to…” She looked through the window, enjoying the nature in front of her. Then she turned to Neil and took his face between her hands. “Thanks for this amazing gift you’ve made me. I had never imagined I’ll fly away from anything I knew, from anything I had ever known to go in a foreign country. But you made me do it and it’s amazing. I’ve seen things I’d never expected to see, I’ve met people I’ve never imagined they existed. And you have brought me so much happiness… I could never thank you enough for this, Neil…”

“You don’t have to… It’s the least I could do for the woman who saved my life…”

Their eyes locked. As Always, the world stopped turning when it happened. They were alone in their little bubble. And both hoped inside themselves it will last for the rest of their lives. 

At the end of the morning, Neil and Claire had packed their stuff in their suitcases and checked the room to be sure they had not forgotten something. Ben and Hansa insisted to pay them the taxi to Udon Thani airport. It was their wedding gift as they said. 

“Hey look who’s there?” Ben called them from the other side of the lobby. “How are my fav lovebirds?”

Neil ran to him, leaving his suitcase in the middle of the corridor and went to embrace his best friend. “Thanks for everything, Bro. From the bottom of my heart.”  
“You deserve it, bro. And Claire is really a nice person. And she loves you. I can tell it just by looking at her right now.” 

Neil turned and saw Claire looking at Ben and he, smiling. Oh God, he loved her too. “I’m a very lucky man…” Ben patted his shoulder. “Glad you finally find your Hansa! Speaking of the devil, look who’s coming to say goodbye.”

Claire, Neil, Ben and Hansa spent the next 30 minutes to talk and promise they will be back soon. They hugged and shared their email addresses and phone numbers. “And send us a message when you’re finally in San José!” Claire and Neil nodded in agreement and got in the cab. 

As they left the hotel, Ben and Hansa and the memories of their beautiful holidays, Claire couldn’t restrain tears from rolling along her cheeks. Neil dried them with his fingers. She could see he was sad too. She put her head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand. She looked at their hands clutched together and saw the wedding rings on their fingers. And in the blink of an eye, her smile came back. 

As they got off from the taxi, their long travel started. First, they had to take a plane from Udon Thani to Bangkok, then another from Bangkok to Hong Kong, then from Honk Kong to Vancouver to finally get on a plane between Vancouver and San José. More than 22-hour-flight because this time, contrary to the outward journey, there was no direct plane. 

“Ready for this very long trip?” He asked her as they dropped their luggage. 

“I guess we don’t have any other choice. Anyway, I’ve got a good book in my bag and I’m gonna sleep a lot! I’m very exhausted and I want to be in good fit to go back to work on Monday.”

“What about I don’t want you to sleep?”

“Good luck. I remember you last night was not quite relaxing.”

“Not wrong. But It was fun…” He winked at her. She left a kiss on his cheek. 

“And good!” She loved being naughty when he was around. She was crazier, happier, a better version of herself. And for this, she will be always be thankful to him. He gave her all the freedom and lightness she had dreamt of since she was a kid. 

They got on the first plane, then the second. They enjoyed their free time to speak about their trip in Thailand, about what they were about to find once back in Bonaventure. Of the next place they planned to visit when they will have caught all the hours they had to give back to the hospital after this long leave. On the third plane, Claire fell asleep, like really asleep on Neil’s shoulder. He could tell that by the snoring noise she was making. He put her hair behind her ear and watched her sleep. She was so pretty. Even if she was snoring. In fact it made her even more beautiful. He measured how lucky he was to have this woman in his life. Whatever was waiting for them in San José was nothing when she was standing next to him.

They were woken up by the stewardess who brought them dinner. Claire grumbled, turned to her right and continued to sleep while Neil awoke quietly. He thanked the flight attendant and ate some soup. He kept aside some bread, fruits and biscuits for Claire. Then he chose a movie to watch and spent the rest of the flight 

dozing. Claire woke up some moments to eat, placed her head on Neil’s shoulder again and fell into sleep again. 

As they landed in Vancouver, they took the courage they had left to catch their last flight that brought them home. Two more hours and they will arrive in their city they left 6 months ago. After getting their luggage, they took a taxi and finally arrived to Neil’s place. Their apartment as Neil used to say. Claire rented her own to a young resident from Bonaventure for a small price. Anyway, she hadn’t slept there in like two and a half years now. 

The place was as they left it, except there were flowers in a vase on the table and a card. It was Morgan and Alex, they left them a note to wish them a good return in San José. “This is lovely! Maybe we should call them to thank…”

Neil cut Claire’s sentence. “Claire, it’s 2 AM, I think they’re sleeping. And we should do the same thing.”

“Didn’t even notice the time! Totally jet-lagged.”

They took a long shower together, enjoying each other’s body for long minutes before going to sleep. Neil lay next to Claire and put his arm around her waist. She stuck her back against his chest. And before they even knew it, they were deeply sleep.


	42. Chapter 42 : Starting new

Chapter 42 : Starting new 

They had a few days off before going back to the hospital. But this morning, they were in Bonaventure. They had an appointment with Mrs. Lynch. It was really weird to be back there. Nothing had changed except the color of some walls. As they were walking through the corridors, people looked at them. They didn’t even know how to interpret those eye contacts. 

They finally arrived to the HR office and waited for Mrs. Lynch, she was in a meeting. When she joined them a half hour later, she found them talking about flowers and bowling. 

“That’s an interesting combo!”

Claire and Neil jumped as they heard Mrs. Lynch’s voice. “I didn’t want to scare you.” She let out a laugh. “If you like to follow me in my office.”

They enter her office and sat at the exact same place they did 6 months ago when they decided to take a break, away from Bonaventure. It was both weird and funny. They had so much changed since that moment. This trip in Thailand transformed them. Mrs. Lynch explained them how their return in the hospital will take place. Neil will have two new interns to supervise, while Claire was from now on the lead trauma surgeon in the ER. Both were surprised to have kept high positions in the hospital despite being gone for so long. 

“Apparently you’re difficult to replace.” She winked at them. “Your colleagues specifically ask for you to be back at your former position, Dr. Melendez. And for you Claire, Dr. Lim is back at her position in the trauma service. But she and Dr. Andrews explicitly insisted on the fact they needed you in the ER to run a new trauma unit… If you agree of course.”

“I do… Of course…” Claire stumbled on words. She was so surprised. Neil just nodded to Mrs. Lynch. 

“Your shifts start on Monday at 9 AM. Come to see me then and I’ll give you all you need: parking cards, badges and keys to your offices. Anything to add?”

Claire and Neil shared a conniving look. It was better to say her about them right now. At least, the administrative part, the less pleasant one will be done. Anyway, it had to be taken care of. 

“Actually we’re married now… We tied the knot while we were in Thailand…” Neil proudly announced, taking Claire’s hand. 

“Congratulations!”

“Is there anything to do?” Claire asked anxiously. 

“I just add this mention on both your files. But as you’ve already made your relationship official, there’s nothing more to do.”

Neil and Claire shook Mrs. Lynch’s hand and thanked her for her kindness. They left Bonaventure in a hurry, they didn’t want to see anyone and they were late. Morgan and Alex were waiting for them to lunch. They met them at Veronica’s thirty minutes later. Morgan and Alex were already here, standing next to each other. 

“Things are getting interesting.” Claire gave Neil a mischievous look. 

“Don’t start again. Let them alone.”

“Not doing anything, just saying they are standing very close.” 

He smiled at her. She was so cute when she was curious about her friends’ private life. He liked to see the sparkles in her eyes as she was watching at Alex and Morgan. She waved at them as they came closer. It was Morgan who saw them first. 

“Heyyyyyyyy” Morgan ran towards them and hugged Claire. “I’m so glad to see you!!!” Alex joined them and shook Neil’s hand. Morgan couldn’t stop talking, she was so happy to see her friends again.

“She’s waiting for this day since weeks!” Alex spoke in a low voice to Neil. “She was sad when you called to say you stayed a little longer in Thailand... She’ll never tell   
you because she’s too proud to say it out loud.”

“Sorry but we really needed this moment more with Claire.”

Alex smiled to him. “You both look well.”

Claire came and hugged Alex. She was glad to see him. “I miss you.” He hugged her back. It was good to see their friends again. They entered the restaurant and ordered food. Neil and Claire told them about their adventures in Thailand. The caves, the rice fields, the endless beaches, the monkeys… So many gorgeous landscapes. Claire showed them some pictures on her phone when Morgan stopped her. 

“What is this?” She said pointing at her finger. 

Claire blushed and shared a look to Neil. He got his hand that was under the table to unveil his fingers. He took Claire ‘s hand in his. 

“We may have something else to tell you…” 

Claire told them how Neil asked her to marry him in Erawan National park next to a heart-shaped gap Neil found when he was something like 20. “And we finally tied the knot in Talay Bua Daeng, just the two of us, a priest, Neil’s oldest friend and his wife.”

Morgan was both so happy for her friends and sad not to have been there. Claire noticed right away her friend was a little disappointed. “Don’t worry Morgan, we plan to make a small party here to celebrate. Alex and you are cordially invited.”

“Am I allowed to organize something during this party?”

Claire laughed. “Why not? But remember we don’t like big fancy things. Stay sober.”

Morgan nodded, her mind was already somewhere else, looking for the perfect event to plan. Alex punched her with his shoulder. She stroke his forearm. Claire smiled looking at Neil. No doubt their friends were together. They were just not ready to tell it out loud. 

“So when do you return to Bonaventure?” Alex asked as if he knew Claire and Neil were suspicious about something. 

“On Monday. But we already have seen Mrs. Lynch and the good news is that we have kept our position in the hospital. Claire has even been promoted. You have in front of you the new trauma lead surgeon in the ER!”

Morgan and Alex congratulated her. She was finally recognized for who she was, for what she was worth. Her years of hard working despite a complicated family history finally paid off. Claire thanked them for being so supportive with her. 

“You deserve it, Claire, that’s all.” Alex smiled at her. He was a really good friend. The only person she could talk for years about everything. He had understood she had feelings for Neil, even before she had figured them herself. He read her minds. And always had been there for her. She was glad to have met these people, she always had been a solitary, a lonely girl fighting for her life and now she was married to the best man in the world and had the most amazing friends. If only her mother could see this…

They spent the rest of the lunch to talk about what had happened in San Jose when they were abroad. Morgan told them about the awful heat wave, Alex focused on the internal stories of Bonaventure hospital. How the new residents were. How the hospital had been renovated. They also talked about the clinic. Morgan had done a great job, developing new workshops, recruiting new volunteers. 

As the lunch was over, Alex came to talk to Neil privately. “I just wanted to tell you that Gabbi is a really cool girl. If you don’t mind, I’d like to go and see her from time to time. We’re good friends now…”

Neil gave a tap on Alex’s shoulder. “Thank you for taking good care of my sister while I was away. It means a lot to me… You’re a very good friend, Alex. I’ll never forget what you did for me.”

“My pleasure, Neil. And Gabbi is a really great person. It was a pleasure to go and play with her every week.”

Morgan and Claire came to join them, sometimes later. They had their own moments going to the toilets together. They all left the restaurant and went to their cars to go back home. Neil and Claire promised to come to the clinic as soon they will have taken their posts and the rush of the beginning will be finished. When they arrived near to their car, Neil bent to Claire with his puppy eyes she loved so much. 

“I was wondering if you’ll agree to go and see Gabbi… It’s been a while since…”

“Of course!” She took his hand and smiled to him.” I’ll be glad to see my sister-in-law slash best friend. And I was telling myself just some minutes ago that I really needed some unicorn hair clips to go back to work on Monday.”

She definitively knew how to make him laugh. 

“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Probably nothing, or bad things…” She stuck her tongue to him. He loved when she did this. It was their thing, their way to communicate. He came closer to her and dropped a sweet kiss on her lips. “Thanks for being part of my life.”

She answered his kiss before putting her head against his chest and hugging him. “Thanks for having saved me, Neil.”

They got in the car, went back to the apartment to get the gifts they brought back for Gabbi and drove to the institution she was taken care of. The nurses recognized Neil right away and asked him how he was doing. 

“Long time, no see, Dr. Melendez. Your good friend Alex told us you were taking some time off. How was it?”

Neil told them about Thailand, the awesome places he visited with Claire, the animals they saw. “But the most important part of this trip is that I married this woman.” He paused a moment to look at Claire in the eyes. They smiled idiotically at each other as if the world around didn’t even exist.

“You two are so cute! Don’t ever change a thing… A love like this happens only once in a lifetime. Please don’t waste it… We were talking with the colleagues the other day about you two… The love you share seems so obvious, so easy… You’ve made us believe in true love and soulmates again… And both of us are divorced!”

Claire and Neil thanked them for their kindness and went to Gabbi’s room. They asked the nurses not to tell her a word. They wanted to surprise her. 

“Hello kiddo!”

“Neil!!!” Claire could see the sparkled in Gabbi’s eyes. She jumped in her brother’s arms as soon as he was next to her. They hugged for a while. Claire stayed two steps forwards, not to disturb their reunion. It was nice to see a man like Neil Melendez being so emotional in front of his little sister. She loved this kind of intimate moments, they made her love Neil even more. 

“Claire, you are here too!” 

“Yes, I’m here, sweetie.” She came closer to Gabbi so she could hug her too. “I’m so glad to see you!”

“Me too! We can play to the princess again?”

“Of course ! But before, look at what Neil and I bring to you.”

She gave her a bag with a lot of little souvenirs they bought her in Thailand. She was filled with wonder each time she got a thing out of it. As soon as she finished,   
Neil asked her some minutes. He had something very important to tell her. 

“You know that I love Claire very much, Gabbi.” She nodded with a smile. “So when we were in Thailand, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. So we got married there and now she’s my wife.”

“So she is like my sister?”

“Yes Gabbi, she is.”

“So my sister is a princess?”

Claire smiled to Gabbi. “If you want me to be a princess, I am!”

“But you are a princess!”

Neil and Claire shared a conniving look. “So now I know two princesses and one of them is my sister. Wow!”

Claire and Neil looked at each other. Who was the other princess she was talking about? Gabbi told them about Alex and the new princess she knew, Morgan. She often came with Alex to play with her. And when she didn’t come, she was sad because she couldn’t comb her long Rapuntzel hair. 

“But she was often there, and that was super cool. And Alex is super cool too. He brought me puzzles and books.”

Claire and Neil glance at each other, one of those looks only them knew about. They smiled. They couldn’t wait for their friends to confess them about them being a couple. But they did know this situation better than anyone and they knew it required time to finally admit to the world their true feelings.

They stayed with Gabbi the rest of the day. Gabbi combed Claire’s hair while Neil looked at them. “Don’t even look at me this and don’t laugh, Neil.”

“What?!? You look perfect with all these unicorns on your head... I let you for a moment, girls, good luck with your hair problem, I have something to do.”

Neil left the room, letting Claire and Gabbi talking about which princesses were the best. He reached the nurses station and asked to see Mrs. Kays. She came out of his office. “Mr. Melendez, you ask for me?”

“Mrs. Kays, so sorry to bother you. I just wanted to know if I could bring Gabbi with me for the evening. I’d like to go to the restaurant with her and my wife to celebrate our wedding. I’ll bring her back before 11 PM, I promise… I’d like her to share this special moment with us…”

Mrs. Kays looked at him scornfully before nodding. “Of course, but not later than 11 PM. She has some activities tomorrow in the morning and I don’t want her to be tired.”

“I promise.” He left the office and ran to Gabbi’s room. Gabbi and Claire were still talking about princesses but this time, they had dolls in their hands. He remained at the doorstep for a moment looking at them. Claire would be a perfect mom… So calm, so patient. He hoped one day they will have at least one child. He hadn’t been lucky with children in his previous relationships. He wanted to be a father more than anything, her girlfriends never allowed him to. He wished it will be different this time. Because he was really happy and having a kid with Claire will be the perfect way to seal their union.

“Look at who he’s spying on us, Gabbi.” She pointed Neil. “Not very fair, Mr. Melendez, to listen to women while they’re sharing their secrets!”

Gabbi giggled. It was nice to hear for Neil. “In fact, I went to see Mrs. Kays to ask her if we could all go to restaurant tonight…”

Gabbi started to applause. “And she said yes, but I have to bring you here before 11.”

Gabbi ran in Neil’s arms and hugged him strongly. Claire smiled looking at them. She loved her complicity, her connection. She gathered some of Gabbi’s toys to tidy the room and joined them giving Gabbi her jacket. 

“Time to go to eat, sweetie. What would you like? It’s all about you tonight.”

As she helped Gabbi to dress up, Neil glanced at her. He planned to celebrate their wedding and she was leaving her night to give Gabbi her special night. She was very one of a kind and she was his wife. Each one took one of Gabbi’s hands and they went to the car. They brought her to her favorite fast food, she wanted French fries and nuggets. 

A great night with the two women he preferred in the world. Once the meal was over, Gabbi started to yawn. She was very tired. It had been a long day for her, but he could see by the way she was looking at Claire and he that she was happy and it was all that mattered. They dropped her at the institution at 11 PM as promised. Claire kissed her on each of her cheeks promising they will be back soon. Gabbi hugged her. Then she hugged her brother before vanishing in the corridor. 

“Thanks for giving our special night to please Gabbi… It was very nice of you…”

“My pleasure, and I was glad to share a moment with Gabbi, outside the institution. She’s very nice…”

“Like her brother.”

“Don’t bring everything to you. I told she was nice, I don’t know about you yet.”

For any answer, he grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. He embraced her and kissed her hair. “You are amazing, Claire Browne. And even if we don’t agree on how to handle a house, I swear I won’t ever let you go.”

He hugged her stronger. “That’s good to know”.”And she lay her head on his chest. Her best place on Earth and for a long time she hoped.


	43. Chapter 43 : Welcome back

Chapter 43 : Welcome back

First day back at Bonaventure. Time to go back to their routine. This morning was hard for Neil and Claire whose minds were still in Thailand. As soon as they passed the doorstep of the hospital, they knew their holidays were over. They said goodbye in the elevator, sharing a kiss in front of the others. To be honest they didn’t care anymore. They had passed this moment when they were embarrassed to show signs of affection in front of people. Now they were married and whatever people said, their couple was solid as a rock. They were just jealous of what they shared.

“See you tonight.”

“Can’t wait for this… Have a good day, honey.”

She smiled and blushed. She loved when he called her this way. Her day was starting well after all. She was welcomed by Marcus and Audrey. Both asked her about her holidays. She told them about the beauty of Thailand but decided to remain vague when it came to Neil and her. She loved to keep people in the fuzzy. With Neil, they liked to see their curious faces and let them in the dark. A way to take her revenge for years of untold things and retained feelings because the stupid policy of Bonaventure. 

She asked them about the hospital. What happened here during six months? She only knew about Mrs. Weeks she had on the phone two days ago and she planned to see next weekend. They told her about the quirky surgeries they had to perform: the leg of man crushed by a yack, two people tied by a bar crossing their abdomen and a child who ate several pieces of lego. 

“I see you had a lot of fun without me!”

They let her some time to read all the files that were on her desk and promised her to come back in the afternoon to talk about her new position in the ER. And she had to go to the HR to get her badge and keys. She could take Neil’s one at the same time. Mrs. Lynch won’t disagree. She left her office some minutes to take care of this. 

Neil opened the door of his office. It was weird to be here. It seemed both familiar and unknown. Being in Thailand for 6 months with Claire had made him see life differently. Before, he believed Bonaventure was all his life but now he started to see things otherwise. He found Alex in the meeting room next to his office. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Working on my next surgery! My office is not ready yet…Dr. Glassman has troubles to leave the place.”

Neil gave him a faint smile. “He can be stubborn.”

“Yeah, let’s say this.” They laughed for a while before Neil came back to his office and opened his email box. Thousands of messages were waiting for him. A long day in perspective. After two hours, he had only read a hundred of them. 

“Can I come in?”

“Hey Marcus! How are you? Glad to see you!”

“I’m fine! And you? I just saw Claire this morning, she’s glowing. Like you. You seem to have found the one.”

Neil lowered his eyes and smiled. Oh, he did and she was his wife now. “I do and she agreed to spend the rest of her life with me…”

“Oh my God, you guys got married?! Congratulations, that’s awesome!”

Marcus shook his hand and gave him a tap on his shoulder. He seemed very happy for them. “I’m gonna tell you something, I’ve always rooted for you. From day one when I was told she contradicted you in the ER, I knew she was the perfect match. Really who dared to oppose you before her?”

Neil let out a laugh.

“Yeah no one! And she did. Add to this she went directly against me during a surgery, disobeying a direct order and I booted her out of my team.” 

Marcus burst into laughing. 

“You and your ego problem! She finally subdued the great Neil Melendez.”

Neil laughed. “Don’t think it’s because she’s tiny she can’t be scary. She can be pretty scary when she decides to be.”

“Anyway, it’s good to see you like this…”

Marcus remained silent for a while. Neil felt as if his friend wanted to talk to him about something but he didn’t know if he couldn’t. He preferred not to tell something about his behavior. Time will tell him the truth of Marcus’ uneasiness.

“Are you OK, Marcus?”

“Yeah… Will talk to you later.”

And he fled from the office, not even looking up. Something was weird. And he will find what it was. But first, he needed to work. A lot of files were waiting for him in his office. 

[…]  
Claire was alone in Lim’s office, working on her patients’ files. She needed to be familiar with the people she was about to meet in the next days. As she deeply focused on her work, she was interrupted by Audrey and Marcus. She found them abnormally close, she couldn’t say why but she was feeling something weird. She had a thing for this. A sixth sense. She will see this later. 

“Can we bother you for a few minutes?”

“Of course, Marcus! I was just checking on the files you left me. Pretty interesting cases. I’d be happy to assist you, just to get into the ring again.”

“I’d be happy too.” Marcus winked at her. He had always been nice to her, even when she had got into a fight with Neil years ago during her residency. 

They talked to her about her new position as the lead surgeon in the ER. She will be still attached to the trauma service but as soon as there will be a patient needed to be operated in the ER, she will be the one to be called. Her first shift will start in three days, to give her the time to become familiar with the new procedures. And she now had an office for her at the end of corridor, she could settle in from tomorrow.

“Any question?” In fact, she had a lot of questions right now but not about her new job. On this point, everything was crystal clear. What she was curious about was the reason why Marcus and Audrey were acting so weirdly since this morning. 

“No. But if I have one, I won’t hesitate to ask you.”

As they left the office, Claire noticed once again something. It was subtle but it was there. She had to tell about it to Neil. 

On dinner, Claire and Neil shared their work stories. There was a lot to be said. First days were always exciting to be fair. “You’re biting your lower lip… You’re hiding something, I’m sure.”

“Stop reading my mind, this is embarrassing… In fact, I witnessed something today. First, this morning, then I had the confirmation this afternoon. I’m not sure of anything yet… But I’m 100% sure something is going on…I’m just telling there’s something weird going on…”

“You’re making me curious, Miss Browne.”

“Mrs. Browne-Melendez! I’ve made my official request to change my name on my badge, this afternoon….”

He put his hand over hers. He was proud she took his name and kept her in the same time. 

“Anyway, Audrey and Marcus welcomed me this morning. And then they came back this afternoon to talk to me about my new position. Up to this, everything was normal. But then, I notice they were close, like very close. I know they’re friends but there’s definitively something else going on. It’s the same feeling I had when I told you about Alex and Morgan… I know what you’re about to say – Stop being involved in people’s personal life, stop overthinking… but I do know I feel something…”

He smiled. “To be fair, I notice the same thing with Marcus… He was very strange today. As if he wanted to say to me something but he didn’t…”

They spent the rest of the dinner to talk about what they had seen. She introduced him to the world of gossips. She loved to watch people and help them get better. And Marcus and Audrey were not in a good place right now. She hoped she could help them to move on. This night, they fell asleep in each other’s arms. They were tired, they needed sleep to win against the jetlag. 

Days became weeks, weeks became months and soon Claire and Neil were back to their routine for almost three months. They spent a lot of time Bonaventure. Claire’s new position was as exhilarating as exhausting; Neil warned her many times to go slower. Or she was gonna fall from tiredness. 

Last week, she performed a thoracotomy on an ER patient who just came after he was hit by a truck. The man was in bad shape. She stayed in the OR for 16 hours; Neil even went to help her and allowed her to take some time off. It turned out that the man was never getting better, despite all the vessels she was cauterizing. A massive internal bleeding was hidden somewhere in his chest and she had to find it. She finally saved the patient by removing the spleen. 

Days like this continued. On the other side, Neil did one surgery after the others: a couple of appendicitis removal, some pneumothorax to drain, tumors to cut and treat, even an esophagus removal. 

They spent their free time to do consults in the clinic because Alex and Morgan – who finally admitted they were a couple since more than 6 months - had too much patients to handle. Their holidays were far away, their time together was only memories. Each night they came home exhausted. And they started to question their way of life because they argued too often because of tiredness, because they didn’t see each other as often as they wanted to. 

This weekend, they were off shift. They decided to go and see Greta, they didn’t see her in months and they were missing her. 

“Oh my kids, I’m so happy to see you! Hurry, hurry and come, I’ve prepared something for you!!!”

When they entered the living room, they saw the table full with meals. “Oh Greta, you shouldn’t have... It’s too much…”

“Nothing is too much for you, sweetheart! And also for you, Neil, don’t worry I don’t forget you.”

They ate lunch all together, enjoying all that Greta had cooked. They told her about all the things they saw in Thailand, and saw us pictures on their phones.   
“What did I just see on your finger, sweetheart?”

Claire and Neil blushed. They wanted to tell her about their wedding later. 

“Oh this?

“Don’t be shy. I want the truth!”

She gave them a stern look before laughing. Claire and Neil looked at each other. “You go first. You’re Greta’s sweetheart after all.”

Claire giggled and took Neil’s hand in hers. “Neil asked me to marry him in Thailand. Just in front of a heart-shaped gap, in the middle of a canyon. And I said yes.”

“So you’re engaged, then?”

“In fact, you remember when I told you Neil and I were staying a few days more in Thailand? In fact, he took me to his best friend’s hotel and we got actually married here…”

“Meet Mrs. Browne-Melendez!”

Greta’s eyes were full of tears. “I’m so happy for you, kids. You went through so much and you finally found you. You are so nice, so cute. When you’re together, you glow. Look at these smiles on your faces, they can’t be faked. You’re experiencing true love. This is rare, this is unique. And you are in the middle of it. I could not say how I am grateful for the Heaven to have put you in my way, to have met you and for you to be in my life.”

She hugged them, strong. It was funny to see how a so tiny person could be so strong. He reminded Neil of someone. They showed her some pictures of the wedding and shared with her all the anecdotes. They gave her the gifts they brought her, some for good luck, some for fun. 

“You seem so happy… But so tired at the same time… Look at your eyes, these shadows… Please don’t tell me you’re doing additional hours to the hospital instead of enjoying your life as a young married couple?”

“It’s complicated, Greta… The hospital needs us... And as Claire and I have not been there for more than 6 months and they do keep us our position, even give a new one to Claire, it’s difficult to say no…”

“But we’re gonna make it… It’s only a matter of time…”

Greta looked at them sternly. 

“And when all of this will be over, it will be something else. Be careful. Think about you, Kids. Your jobs are great, you’re excellent doctors. But it is not everything. Think about you, about your life, about what you want, what you would like. We only have a lifetime, you know.”

The drive back to their apartment was very quite. Each one of them was lost in thoughts. What about their jobs? Were they too much? Were they impinging upon their private sphere? It’s true they didn’t speak a lot these days – months to be fair - and sometimes they argued for a little nothing. They were tired. They did love being doctors but their schedules in Bonaventure were absolutely crazy. 

Once at home, Greta’s advice was still running through Claire and Neil‘s minds. Impossible to forget the words of the woman they considered as their grandmother. They changed and went to bed. Neil took Claire in his arms, she cuddled near to him, enjoying stroking his bare chest. 

“Maybe we should go…”

Claire stayed speechless. She didn’t expect this and then, it made sense. 

“You think…”

He was surprised by her answer. “So you’re not against this idea…”

“I mean, I love San Jose, I love my life here but Greta is right…” She sat in a hurry in the bed. “What if this job is literally eating us up alive? What if we are missing something? What if we’re...”

Before she finished her sentence, he kissed her. Right here, on her lips, in a very surprising way. He smiled stupidly when he stopped kissing her. 

“What if we move away from here… In a smaller hospital… So we can have time for us, time to build a family…”

She remained silent, looking at his face. She liked to see him like this, fragile and unassuming. 

“I’d happy to build something with Mr. Melendez wherever you like… And if it can be in a place where we can spend more time together I won’t say no…” 

She dropped a sweet kiss on his lips. 

“So I imagine we’re moving soon…”

“I think we do…”


	44. Chapter 44: Elsewhere

Chapter 44 : Elsewhere

The next morning, they woke up a little lighter and terribly anxious. “Do you think we took the right decision? I mean we have all here… Diving into the unknown…”

“No Claire, no more doubt. Not anymore. I know we’ve got anything here… In fact, we think we do. But look at you… You replace Audrey as often as she needs… And you run a new service, and you have to deal with your new interns… You’re great but you can’t handle all of this…I mean I know you can because you’re gifted but your body needs to rest.”

“I know… This is just I’m in Bonaventure for so long… Almost 10 years now… I can’t imagine working elsewhere…”

They took some times to prepare. Today, they were not in a hurry. They had gotten up very early not to be rushing all over the house preparing their stuff. Claire got dressed first, a black skirt and a yellow blouse while Neil was making breakfast. They sat to share their first meal of the day and enjoyed being together. They decided to remain silent about their project at the hospital. No one needed to know in case it didn’t work out. 

“But I do want to talk about it to Morgan and Alex. They deserve to know…”

He nodded. She was right. Their best friends needed to know, it was not a small decision, it was not a temporary lunacy. It was a decision of a lifetime. 

“We could call them…”

“No Neil… I want to tell them face to face. This is important. What about going to see them tonight at the clinic? We don’t have any planned surgeries today. Except if an emergency arrives…”

“And then you beep me and I’ll come to help. At four hands, we’ll go faster.”

She made this thing with her nose he liked so much. “My savior!” She answered ironically. He knew she hated to be treated like a child, to be dependent on someone else. She was the kind of people who built by herself and didn’t like being assisted. 

“I’m not kidding, if an emergency arrives, you call me and I’ll give you a hand so we could go to the clinic quickly.”

“I know.” She smiled at him and as every time she did that, he smiled at her idiotically and time stopped. Like always, from the moment she entered his life and he knew unconsciously his world was going to change forever. 

Their day at the hospital was calm, just a few visits to their patients, files to fulfill and to archive, some moments shared with their residents. A calm day where no one came to interrupt them from the tedious work of completing each file with caution. This was not the most exciting part of being a doctor but it was absolutely necessary. And sometimes, especially when you were feeling a little low, it was the perfect work to do. 

“Ready to go to the clinic, or you need more times to end your files?”

“I was gonna come to get you. Did you call Morgan or Alex to tell them we were on our way?”

“Have texted Alex this afternoon. They’re waiting for us. In fact, their last patient is expected for 7:30. So we have time to get there.”

Claire gathered her stuff, put her jacket and grabbed her handbag before joining Neil who was waiting for her at the doorstep. She took his hand in hers. And they walked through the hospital to reach the parking where their car was parked. Claire drove till the clinic. When they arrived, Alex and Morgan were still working. They went to Morgan’s office and enjoyed the sofa. As Morgan and Alex joined them, they were kissing, cuddling against each other. They could hear Claire giggling.   
“If we disturb you, we can come back later...” 

Morgan was so sarcastic. Neil had always said her MO was being cutthroat. And she was becoming better with time. 

Claire let out a faint smile while she was going away from Neil’s mouth. Neil wiped his lips with his sleeve and glanced at their two friends. 

“We were just waiting for you… And remember, we’re a young married couple…”

“Claire, don’t start with this. It’s not because you’re married, you can do whatever you want. At least not here.”

Alex burst into laughing. So did all the three others. Good times with good friends. This was why life was so easy. They ordered Italian food and stayed at the clinic to spend more time together. It was only a few days since they had last seen but they still had a lot to tell each other. The evening went fast, faster than they thought. Neil gave Claire a wink. It was time to share their ideas with Morgan and Park. To tell them about what they were planning. They didn’t know if it could work, but after all they did for them, it was the fairer thing they could do. 

“We’d like to talk to you about something… It just popped in our heads yesterday but I’m sure that it had unconsciously been here for way much longer…” Claire couldn’t find the good words. 

“You want to leave San José…”

Both Claire and Neil were surprised by Alex’s assertion. He was so certain of his answer. As if he had read their minds. 

“How did you know?!?” Claire asked, still stunned by his conviction. 

“It became pretty obvious after you came back from Thailand. We’ve talked a lot about this with Morgan. Indeed, we even argued about it.“ He let out a laugh. “And then we came to a consensus… But one thing was sure, we both did know you will be leaving San José soon.”

Claire and Neil shared a look. Their friends did know them very well and in a way, it relieved them. 

“How did you figure it out?”

“Morgan and I witnessed you were not the same people when you came back from Thailand. I mean not that you change, you’re still the same annoying friends…” He laughed. “But your priorities seem to have changed…”

“What Alex is trying to say is that your trip in Thailand had allowed you to revise what is important for you and it seems like work can be left behind contrary to your personal life… We do understand you, you know. Alex and I have thought about it too… This is why now he has decided to work Bonaventure only half time and the rest of the time we’re here together at the clinic. Here there’s no pressure. Of course, the days are long but we only are depending from ourselves. And we can eat together and go home together. And it’s everything.”

Morgan stopped and smiled at Alex. She had so much changed since she arrived in Bonaventure, when she was nothing but a bitch. She only wanted to be the first, to crush people, to do anything that had to be done to rise. And then her hands failed her and she changed a lot. She learnt not to be the first, but to do things wisely. She understood she couldn’t manage all the times, that sometimes you need to fall to rise again. And that envying your close ones only brought pain. 

“I admire how you change Morgan. If someone had told me the ambitious young resident who joined my team almost 10 years ago will become the wise woman I’ve in front of me, I would have not believed it.”

She blushed. “Thanks Neil.” 

Neil and Claire talked to them about their project to leave San José to go somewhere else. They didn’t know where or when it will happen. They just knew they needed fresh air and time for them. Neil added Morgan will keep all the rights over the clinic as she had when they were in Thailand. He had total trust in her and couldn’t imagine anyone else to run his “baby”. 

“Have you found any lead then?”

“No... Not a single one… But we only decided to move yesterday night, so we haven’t studied the opportunity yet. To be fair, it can be anywhere as I have no family left and Neil has only Gabbi.” She pressed his hand, as a way to tell him Gabbi will follow them anywhere they will go. “Let see where the future will lead us!”

The evening ended when Neil and Claire left Morgan and Alex around 11PM. They separated when they arrived next to Alex’s car. Neil’s one was a little far away. This night, the four friends didn’t sleep well, all thinking about their futures, about what made them really happy and about what they really wanted to be in their life. 

Days, then weeks passed and Neil called many hospitals to know if they hired new surgeons, sent CVs and called old mates from med schools to find leads. Claire did the same. But no one had some positions to offer them. The medical world was in crisis and most of the hospitals couldn’t afford to hire two new surgeons. While waiting for a positive answer, they continued to work hard at Bonaventure, promising to spend at least two evenings together during the week. 

They went to see Mrs. Lynch to talk to her about their project. They wanted to be careful. She was not surprised by their decision. “I’ve always known you’ll leave one day. Since your break in Thailand. When I saw you back after six months far away, you were different, the same but different. Always passionate about medicine but also in love and conscious that work is important but not as important as you.” 

Claire and Neil lowered their heads. This woman was very wise and she knew how to read them. The same way Morgan and Park had figured out they wanted to go somewhere where they will be able to enjoy their love for medicine and time together. She explained to them how to proceed in case they found a new position, what papers to send, how many notice-months they had to do before leaving Bonaventure. She warned them the direction of the hospital could be very hard with them because they were cornerstone people there. 

“But don’t worry, I’ll help to find a compromise with them.” She winked at them. They smiled her back. 

“Could you remain quiet about our project?” Claire asked in a low voice. Mrs. Lynch nodded. “You secret’s safe with me.”

This night, they came home silent. Both thinking about what Mrs. Lynch had told them earlier. As they were preparing the dinner, Claire confessed Neil she was scared in San Jose because of the earthquakes.

“Since this had happened to you, I’m always afraid it happened again and this time, you won’t be as lucky as before and I lose you forever. I don’t want to think like this but I do. And I hate myself for this. But I’ve always these dark thoughts. And...”

Neil stopped her by putting his finger on her mouth. Getting closer to her, he embraced her and put his arms around her waist. He looked at her in the eyes. “I’ve something to confess too…. I’m scared of earthquakes too, of this place, of everything related to the nightmare. I’m afraid to lose you, to lose all we have built...”

He let his hands down up to her bottom. She giggled. She liked when his hands ran over her body. “Dinner can wait…” She took his hand in hers and pulled him to the bedroom. This time, she wanted to take the lead, to be the one in charge. She made him lie on the bed and undid his shirt first. She let her hands ran all over his chest, taking time to kiss all of his old scars, the ones that had sealed their future together. She continued and unbuttoned his pants, letting it falling on the ground. And finally took off her blouse and skirt. 

He didn’t move, he liked when she was wild, uncontrollable. The opposite of the nice student he met when she arrived in Bonaventure. She sat upon him and kissed him. He answered with ardor. She could feel he was almost done, the foreplays were about to end… At this precise moment, she felt him entering her and let out a moan. Her whole body contracted of pleasure. He pressed her hands in his, to feel connected at every level. She answered by pressing his hands back. She kissed him once again, as if her life depended on it. He always deepened the kiss as he was not never satisfied, filled with her. 

They kept playing, sharing and connecting for a long while. They never had enough of each other. They will never have. Their body were interconnecting on every level. Their hands were clenched. As they both reached orgasm, they moaned at the same time to let out their pleasure, their bliss. She let the wild Claire go and cuddled next to Neil, enjoying his body’s warmth and sweat. 

“You’re good… We’re good at this…”

“We’re the best. We could get an Oscar!”

She flicked him in his chin and giggled. She loved being against him and put her head on his chest. She loved when he kissed her hair and forehead. She just loved this man so much she could become insane if someone or something will separate them… 

“Not the dark thoughts, Claire. I’m not abandoning you. Where you go, I go. Remember, we’re a team, the best one. Together. Always.”

They intertwined their fingers to seal their pact. That was when the phone rang. They looked at each other, neither of them wanted to leave the bed to answer. They were too good where they were. “We’ll call back later.”

They remained there a while. It was good just to be near the other. Only hunger made them get up to go in the kitchen and eat some lasagna. Neil took his phone and listened to the voicemail, putting on speaker for Claire to listen to it too. 

“Dr. Melendez, I‘m so sorry to call so late, I’m Dr. Cameron from Raleigh General Hospital. I’ve received your CV and the one of your wife by one of my old interns and I’ll be very interested in meeting both of you. I may have something to propose to you…”

Neil smiled to Claire. Time to call this Dr. Cameron back. This evening couldn’t be better.


	45. Chapter 45 - New Horizons

Chapter 45: New horizons

“Dr. Cameron? This is Neil Melendez. You left a message earlier about some available positions in your hospital for my wife and I.”

Even after several months of marriage, Neil was still shivering when he called Claire his wife. He looked at her and winked. She make her so cute face, the one she did when he came back at Jake’s years ago after he told her he was being professional and she answered him he was only overcompensating. This night when he decided his relationship – whatever it was at the time – was more important than the direct orders of the chief of surgery. He activated the speaker of his phone. 

“Dr. Melendez! I’m very glad you call me back! Is your wife around so I can speak to the both of you in the same time?”

“She’s right next to me. I’ve put you on speaker so we can talk all three together.” 

“Great!” She paused for a while. Time for Claire and Neil to exchange a look. ”So, I’m Dr. Cameron. I run the Raleigh General Hospital in North Carolina. I’ve come here with my husband about 8 years ago. He had a bad time… Long story and it has nothing to do in this conversation. So let’s go back to our first topic. I’ve got your CVs from one of my former interns. Dr. Reynolds. He told me he knew you from medical school. You were his tutor, right?”

“This is right. I tutored him for his first three years of study in Stanford. I was in third year when I started.”

“Dr. Browne, I’m impressed. Your CVs says you’re a trauma surgeon but you have a specialty in cardiothoracic and pediatric surgeries too.”

Neil looked at his wife, proudly. She was such a badass!

“That’s nice of you to say. In fact, I specialized first in trauma after a traumatic personal event…” She paused and looked at Neil. He immediately knew what she was   
talking about. She swallowed hard and continued to talk. “But then I realized I was missing something in my life. I do love trauma because you have to be quick, reactive, creative but I needed something more, something more precise, more focused. And I couldn’t choose between cardiothoracic and pediatrics… So I took them both.”

“That’s a very interesting combo. And to be honest, this is really the kind of profile I’m looking for to develop our surgery department. I need people who are versatile, proactive, inventive. Speaking of inventive, Dr. Melendez, I saw you led a successful surgery separating two conjoined twins. Pretty impressive too. And you fix the heart of a young boy that any doctor before called condemned. I love your dedication to your patients, your stubbornness. It reminds me of my husband in a way… Even if he’s very one of a kind.”

She let out a laugh. “If you agree, I’d like to meet you in person to exchange about your jobs and your vision of being a doctor. Would you agree to come in Raleigh in the next few weeks?”

“Of course! Give us some days just to arrange with our patients. Can we call you on Friday to schedule a meeting?”

“That’s perfect! I’m waiting for your call then. See you very soon.”

Dr. Cameron hung up. They remained silent for some seconds. Smiles over their faces. “So Raleigh, it is?”

“I think so… To be honest, I didn’t believe we will be called one day!”

“This time, this is not me having dark thoughts!” Claire teased him. “Let’s go there and see what this Dr. Cameron has in store for us and if it’s not what we’re looking for, we‘ll look for something else.”

“And if it is…”

“We’ll move there, then… Away from earthquakes…”

He didn’t think and just took her in his arms. She knew him too well. Maybe Raleigh was the place they were looking for after all. And this Dr. Cameron seemed very nice. Tomorrow they will have to check on their schedules in Bonaventure to know when they were gonna be able to go there without arousing the curiosity from the hospital staff, their colleagues and friends. But before doing this, they really needed to sleep, their evening had been way too emotional. 

On the day after, they went to work as if it was an ordinary day. Hand and hand, a quick kiss in the elevator before he got off at the 4th floor and the day had started. Each went to their office to study their schedule in the first place. Claire pulled off her jacket and put her white coat. She gathered her files, she had to visit her patients to check if they were recovering well. But before going, she preferred to re-read the files one more time. Her phone rang sometimes later. When she saw Neil’s name appeared on her screen, she smiled. 

“Dr. Melendez, what can I do for you?”

“Dr. Browne. I would like to speak to you. Would you be available to meet me at noon in my office? We’d eat together and we could compare our timetable to find the perfect spot to go to Raleigh.”

“That’s a very interesting proposition, Dr. Melendez. But I don’t think I’ll have the time to join you unless you promise me something else.”

“Like?” 

She giggled. “You do know what I mean!”

He laughed. He did know a lot of things she liked. He had only to pick one of them. “So would you come and have lunch with me? I’ll order the Thai food you prefer…”

“You really know how to talk to me! I’ll be there for 12:30. I’ve four patients to visit this morning. Is it OK for you?”

“Perfect.”

“See you soon. Love you.”

“Love you too.” And he hung up. He had some surgeries to prepare for the next days, including the change of a stomach device which reminded him of his own. He put his hand over his stomach to feel the little piece of plastic which had saved his life. And he smiled, thinking about how he had come from a very long way. But before losing his mind over his medical cases, he called the Thai restaurant to order some food for lunch. A promise was a promise!

Claire came to Neil’s office at 12:30. He was with Audrey, talking about the case of a man suffering several pneumothorax over the years. Neil stopped talking when he saw her at the doorstep.

“I can go back later if…”

“No, please, come on, we have almost finished.”

Audrey nodded. “I was about to go away. Enjoy your lunch. Neil, I talk to you later about Mr. Lopez.“

She walked through the room and reached the corridor in less than one minute. 

“Everything’s Ok with Audrey?”

“Yeah… She’s just tired, I suppose. But enough talking about her. We have an important thing to do.”

They sat in the sofa and started to talk about their timetable, while waiting their food. Less than 15 minutes later, it was there on the table. “So October, 25th it is?” Neil asked to Claire. 

“I think we have a date, since our days off are the same at this moment. We go on the 23th, so we can prepare our interview and we can come back on 27th, so we can visit the city a little after everything is done. What do you say about this? “

He nodded and grinned. “Let’s call Dr. Cameron to book this meeting. “

They called her but she didn’t answer. She was probably in surgery. So they left a message to explain they were available on October, 25th. “Hope she calls back soon to be apprised.”

Dr. Cameron called them later in the afternoon. Neil thanked her for her message and she confirmed she waited them on October, 25th. He texted Claire as soon as he hung up. Now they had their future in their hands. 

The days separating them from their meeting with Dr. Cameron melted down like the snow under the sun. Work was intense, days were long and exhausting. But they did know something better was waiting for them. The most difficult was to remain quiet about their project. This evening, Claire came to Neil’s office. 

“Time to go home, sweetie.”

She entered the office and came face to face with Audrey, sitting in front of him. She was confused, not knowing what to do, what to say next. Neil saw the distress in her eyes. 

“Hey honey, I’ve just have some little things to see with Audrey. Can we join in the lobby in like 15 minutes?”

She looked at him, and just him. She needed to focus on something that reassured her. “Ok. Meet you there. Good night, Dr. Lim.” And she rushed to the elevator. All she wanted now was to disappear. Neil remained alone with Audrey. 

“Mr. Velasquez will be a perfect candidate for…”

She interrupted him. “So you married her…”

“I do.”

“Are you happy?”

He marked a pause and gave her a faint smile. “Happier than I’ve ever expected.”

He could tell by the way she was looking at him that she was hurt in her self-esteem. She had always thought she had marked him, that their relationship had meant something. Apparently, it was not the case. 

“Audrey… Don’t take it personally… I appreciate what we had… It’s just that it’s different with Claire… We were friend, we still are. We had a good time. We had fun… But you know from the beginning, it was not serious. You even told me that it was not enough… Claire brings me what I had missed all my life. She completes me…. When I’m with her, it’s like I’m 15 again… I’m fearful, crazy, deeply in love.”

She was listening to him carefully, not telling a word. He didn’t know what to do, so he continued because he wanted to make things clear. 

“Please, don’t be mad at me… I really like you but it was not the same … I deeply love Claire. She’s the one I’ve looked for all my life. The one I want to build a family with, have kid, have fights, be mad at, grow old… I hope you won’t take Claire responsible for this. She’s guilty of anything except stealing my heart fairly. If you want to get angry at someone, be mad at me…”

She was still silent. To be fair, it made Neil feel even more uneasy. She finally stood up and walked to the corridor. Before leaving the office, she turned at Neil. 

“I’m not mad at her… To be honest, I envy her. Because she gets you in a way no one ever did before. In fact, she’s lucky you love her this much. To be fair, I’ve noticed this connection, this chemistry from day one. I was surprised when we started dating and then I understood I could never compete with her. You literally made a mother change her mind about her to offer her her first solo surgery. Which boss does that? No one! You did it because she was already counting a lot for you… Way more than she should have. You were just not aware of it anymore. She was not either…”

She took a deep breath. She needed it to keep talking. 

“I’m happy for you too, Neil…. Really…. I’ve just hoped it was me instead of her…”

Neil lowered his head. He had liked spending time with her, he still did. But she was never more than a good friend. Sometimes, he thought they should have never been involved. For the peace of his mind. He didn’t like the idea he had hurt her. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve given you false hopes. It was not what I meant when…”

“Don’t be sorry, Neil. This is how life works. You’re happy. It’s so obvious. Since you’re with her, you’re glowing. You’re smiling all the time. She’s making of you a better version of yourself. And I’m happy for you and for Claire…It’s just it’s hard to see. Goodbye Neil… I’ve a thoracotomy to perform in 30 minutes, I’m the emergency doctor tonight.”

She left. He was like stunned. Audrey and he had finally talked open-hearted. It had to be done. His whole heart belonged to Claire and for a long time. She was his better half. She gave him so much. She even taught him that arrogance didn’t make him a better surgeon. It was only kindness and good will that could make you a good doctor. He was lucky as Audrey said. The luckiest man in the world… And right now, he desired only one thing: meeting Claire in the lobby. 

He gathered his stuff, turned his computer off and put his jacket. When the elevator opened on the basement, he saw her, sat in one of the chairs of the lobby. She was writing something on her phone, probably answering one of her messages. 

“Ready to go home, honey?”

She smiled at him and stood up. He took her hand. But before going, he pulled her next to him and hugged her. It was quick, strong, intense. Just for him to have the time to tell her some words in the ears. Words that made her smile. He knew she didn’t like the great gestures in public. To be honest, he didn’t like them either. But tonight, he needed to tell her she was her everything. To any answer, she dropped a kiss on his cheek. And made him the happiest man in the world.


	46. Chapter 46 : Raleigh

Chapter 46: Raleigh

“You’re ready?”

“Just a second, I can’t find my lucky necklace. I swear I put it there last week…”

She was turning in the bedroom, lifting every single one pillow, the quilt and actually everything she could find. 

“Claire, we’re gonna be late for our plane. Let the necklace here. “

“No, I need it… You don’t understand, I just need it…”

She kept looking for it which made Neil stamped even more. 

“It’s Ok, I‘ve just found it. We can go. And stop doing this, this is annoying.”

They put their baggage in the trunk of the taxi waiting for them in front of the building. For the whole road, they remained silent, still at odds because of what had happened in the apartment. She knew he didn’t like to be late but they were 4 hours early. She could have some more minutes to look for her necklace…

The taxi driver let them at Terminal 3 where their flight was landing in a few hours. They went to register, went through security and then reached the waiting room. Both of them remained silent, busy on their phones. Finally, Neil broke the silence. 

“I’m sorry for earlier. This is just you know I don’t like being late…”

“Neil, we were five hours early at the time…”

He made his face, the one he always did when he was concerned and embarrassed.

“Sorry if I offended you but you were so obsessed with this necklace. It had made me crazy.”

“It’s just this necklace is special. I love to take it with me every time I do something important.”

He bent his head. He had really hurt her. He didn’t like this. She sulked a little more, she needed some time to process. She talked to him when she was ready. After a long moment, she turned to him. 

“My grandma gave it to me when I was a little girl… This is the last thing I’ve got from her… And that my mother didn’t sell to buy alcohol or drugs…”

He lowered his head as a way to apologize. He should have been less rude this morning. 

“Sorry if I’ve been rude to you… It’s just that necklace is very special… You know… It’s the only thing I’ve from my childhood… The only thing that reminds me of good moments during my childhood. Sorry if I got on your nerves this morning, but I did need to bring it with me…”

He cut her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know... If I have known…” He was confused, he had been so nasty this morning when she was just looking for a piece of her past she cherished. Actually, he felt bad. 

“You couldn’t know… I didn’t say about this to anyone… Except you by now…” She touched her necklace frenetically. 

“And I thank you for this… Claire, please don’t keep me in the dark for such important things.”

She nodded at him shyly. She still hid parts of her complicated past to Neil. She didn’t like this but they were still vivid and hurtful. She also knew that talking about them out loud could help her. Her therapist told her to do so, even if she explained her it would be very painful. 

“I’ll tell everything, just not today….”

He took her hand and pressed it. “Anytime.” 

They were finally called to board. Finally waiting for the flight was not too long. They gave their passports and boarding passes to the flight attendants who smiled at them. “Everything is in order, you can go.”

Claire and Neil walked to the plane and sat at their seats. “Window, I presume?”

She gave him a faint smile and made this little something with her nose that drove him crazy. “If you don’t mind…”

The flight was 7-hour-long. It was not too long when they thought about the 24-hour-flight they bore to come back from Thailand. Claire read her book, Neil took advantage of his free time to empty his email boxes. Then they watched a movie. She enjoyed Neil’s shoulder and put her head on it. From time to time, he dropped a kiss on her head. He needed to show her how much he cared for her, how much she was important to him. 

When they arrived In Raleigh, it was raining. The flight attendant warned all the passengers. Today’s weather was not mild but tomorrow, it will be ok. “Just time for the ocean to clean the clouds”. They greeted her as they got off the plane and reached the airport. They had some time left. “Woman’s time” as she used to say. He waited for her in the large terminal, using his free time to watch people around him. It was as if people were less stressed here. Life seemed easier, people were smiling. Maybe they had found the good place to start over. Or maybe it was just his fantasy to leave San José for good which made him see the things he wanted to see. 

Claire joined him a few minutes later and they went to get back their luggage. Both were tired. They had woken up really early, they fought, they took a plane... All they dreamt about was to rest in their hotel room. And to be fair, the meeting with Dr. Cameron tomorrow was stressing them a little. They took a cab and registered at the hotel. When they finally entered their room, they sighed of relief. All they wanted was eating something and sleep. They ordered food from the hotel restaurant and ate watching a movie, cuddled in their bed. Like any normal couple. Just happy to be there. Ready to start a new life. But before they needed to reload their batteries.

The morning after, their minds were elsewhere. Both focused. Both stressed by the issue. They got dressed – black suit and white shirt for him, black and yellow dress for her – and left the hotel room. On their way, they stopped in a small café to drink coffee and eat something. Their stomachs were growling. 

“Ready for our big oral exam?”

“Kind of stressed… But I think you already knew it?”

“I noticed… But you don’t need to… You’re gonna kill it like every time… Remember when you figured out why this man on your operation table was bleeding out when no one did… Remember when you saved Greta’s life… Remember when you saved my life while Audrey and Aaron had given up on me…”

She gave him a faint smile. 

“Some croissants?”

The waiter interrupted them. “Of course!” 

Claire bit into one of them and couldn’t stop herself from letting a “mmmmmhhh” escaped from her mouth. 

“Nothing than a good croissant can heal!”

They took time to eat their “viennoiseries” and drink coffee before going to Raleigh General Hospital. Dr. Cameron was waiting for them at 10 AM. They had more than one hour before their meeting. They decided to go by foot to enjoy the atmosphere of the town. Raleigh was really different from San José. Things seems more peaceful here, less in a hurry. They walked through the city, along the river, enjoying the colors of the autumn leaves. Hand in hand. After 40 minute-walk, they finally reached the hospital. 

“Time of truth!” Neil announced as they were about to enter the hospital. 

“Let’s do it!”

They shared a kiss before coming into the ring. As a way to give them courage. In a few hours, their lives might change forever. They went to the reception desk to ask for Dr. Cameron. The receptionist told them to go and have a sit while waiting for Dr. Cameron who was with a patient right now. She arrived thirty minutes later. She was embarrassed to be so late.

“I’m so sorry for being so late. I was on a case with my husband and we didn’t see time pass! Can I offer you something? A tea? A coffee?”

Both Neil and Claire declined. They didn’t need more stimulants right now. Their heartbeats were already too much crazy. She nodded in agreement and led them to her office on the 4th floor. “A sign” Neil thought. It was at the same floor as his office at Bonaventure. 

“Thank you for coming to Raleigh to talk. We could have scheduled a video call but I’d rather meet people in person. My old-fashioned side as my husband always remembers me!”

Claire and Neil shared a look. So she was also working with her husband. They like this Dr. Cameron more and more as far as time passed. 

“So you work with your husband?” Claire was the first to talk. She needed to know more about her. 

“Yes, indeed. But he’s more into diagnostic. He’s a lone wolf, this is his style. I’m more into empathy with the patient while he’s searching and analyzing the details. 

This is why it works so well, I guess. But enough talking about me! Tell me more about you! Why are you looking for a new job so far away from San José?”  
Claire explained to her the earthquake experience that had traumatized both. How they lived in the fear it happened again and this time, one of them didn’t make it. 

“We’ve been damned lucky the first time… We’ve been through hell… Neil almost died… I don’t want to relive this…”

He took her hand in his. “The only good thing that came out of this is that we found each other. For the rest, we prefer to forget them.”

Cameron gave them a faint smile. They were nice and according to their CVs, they were excellent at their work. She could hear her husband telling her “You don’t hire people because they’re nice, nice mean anything. We hire them because you’re forced to and also because they know how to work.”

She asked them about their specializations, their expectations when it came to join Raleigh General Hospital. Neil let out a laugh. “I think we’ve come to a point of our life when we need to find a less competitive hospital. We want to be doctors because this is in our DNA, this is a part of who we are. But we also want to have a private life. Those last months have been very grueling, tiring. And we have lost sight of what we really wanted…”

He paused and swallowed hard, thinking all the useless arguments they had when they were just exhausted. “We’d like to find a place to do what we do the best, a place where the human side is not neglected… Both for the patients and the doctors.”

Dr. Cameron nodded in agreement. She knew the feeling. She experienced the same after leaving Princeton Plainsboro. It was great to teach to residents, to work on several cases at the same time. But after a while, it destroyed all kind of personal life. Her marriage with Chase didn’t survive this. Her second marriage had been a failure too because she was drowned into her work in New York General. This was why she understood their approach. She came here for the very same reasons.   
“We’re looking for a place where we can be doctors, help people but also preserve our marriage. And if possible, be away from any earthquake…”

Cameron smiled. “Dr. Browne, I do understand how you feel. To be honest, I used to be you… Except, I didn’t choose to save my personal life at the time. And all felt apart… I went through a very difficult time and this hospital saved me. So I do know you… When you say you are ready to start over, how many months are we talking about?”

Claire and Neil were surprise by Dr. Cameron’s move. “Are you saying we get the positions?”

“I am, Dr. Browne. As I said, this hospital saved me. But I have to save it now… This place was left to die when I was hired two years ago. My husband was supportive to me even if he called this place, and I quote, “a giant waste of time”. Two years later, the hospital is going better but I really need to improve my cardiothoracic and trauma service. Would you agree to help me?”

“Of course!” Claire was almost shouting when she answered. “Oh, sorry. I may have answered too quickly…” She looked at Neil. “What are you telling about this offer?”  
He smiled. “I’m in obviously!” She smiled to him too. She was happy, he could say this by the way her eyes were sparkling. “We spoke off the record with the HR and she told us our hospital could block us for some months before letting us go. Is that a problem for you?”

“I won’t say you it’s good news. But I know how it can be complicated to resign from a hospital… I’ve made without you up to now, so I guess, I can do some more months! Welcome to Raleigh General Hospital.. If you’re still Ok.”

Neil and Claire shook her hand. Maybe too strong, they thought. But they were happy. A new life was right in front of them. 

“Ohh, it’s already greetings season and I’ve not been invited?”

Dr. Cameron turned and smiled to the man showing up at the doorstep. 

“Please Greg, come in and say hi to Dr. Browne and Dr. Melendez. They’ll join us in the next few months.”

“Yeah hi. Can I go to work now?”

“Yep and don’t be late tonight, we have guests!”

He walked through the corridor. He had a very interesting gait with his cane decorated with flames. 

“Pretty interesting character, your husband.” Neil told to Dr. Cameron. 

“And believe me he’s way better than when I first met him! But he’s a good man despite all his flaws and his bad temper. After all I married him, that must mean something! And don’t judge him by what you’ve just seen… You’ll just get to it. He’s not so despicable. He’s just an ignored genius, as I used to say. Even if sometimes, he can be a real pain in the ass.”

She laughed. “I’m sure you’re gonna like him! Just a matter of time!”

This new hospital was about to be very interesting to live in was the first thought that came across Neil’s mind.


	47. Chapter 47: Departure

Chapter 47: Departure

They spent some days in Raleigh, enjoying the city which will be soon be theirs. They visited natural sciences museum. Claire was passionate about stones and begged Neil to go there. He agreed only if she came with him at the Museum of Art. He introduced her to the world of painting. She felt in love with Renoir’s works. It was kind of appeasing looking at these paintings. All these landscapes let her dreamy. She hoped that one day she could visit all these places. 

The day after, they lost in the JC Raulson Arboretum and in Pullen Park. The more time they spent here the more they felt at home. They had finally found the place they wanted to live. It was not their choice and, yet it was as if it was meant to be. And they will soon be here permanently. 

“Last day here…”

“Before we come here forever…” 

They shared a kiss under an oak tree. A symbolic kiss when you know the surname of the city was the the Oak City. They came back at the hotel and prepared their luggage before going out one last time and eat in one of the numerous restaurants the city was counting. The night spent quickly, way too quickly to their own taste. 

“Thank you for this amazing night, Neil.”

“Nothing is enough for you. And you do know we needed to celebrate our last night in Raleigh as tourists.”

She cuddled against him and rested her head against his shoulder. The best way for her to fall asleep. The best way for him to feel secure. He dropped a kiss upon her hair he liked so much. Especially when she let it act naturally. On morning, they took a taxi which drove them to the airport. In seven hours, they will be in San José for the last months of their life. The flight was calm. They arrived at their apartment in the early evening. It was weird to be back here. It was as if they had let their hearts in Raleigh. 

“We could order some pizzas tonight? I’m not in the mood for cooking…”

“Me too…”

He let out a laugh. “As if you were ever in a mood for cooking…”

“Ok not wrong… I suck at cooking, but I’m better than at the beginning. You can at least recognize this.”

“I wanna, I wanna.”

He loved to tease her on her cooking skills. He remembered the day she burnt the lasagna she cooked for a whole afternoon or when she badly dosed out the sugar in a cake and it was impossible to eat. Funny memories. Ones of his favorite. The delivery guy finally came. They were so hungry. They sat in the coach and eat with their fingers. No need for plates or cutlery. It was way more fun like this. He will have never do this before. Always using a fork and a knife as his parents had taught him. With Claire he had learned to be less serious, less repressed as Claire used to say to him. 

Claire stood up. “Gonna take a shower… If you’re interested…” She winked at him before vanishing in the bathroom. He didn’t lose a minute and followed her. He joined her in the shower. She was already in there, naked, nasty, excited. She kissed him deeply, passionately. She needed this, she was hungry with him. He answered by kissing wildly. And then he let his hands run over her so perfect body. She b was what he needed, she was all he needed. 

Their hands clutched. He pushed her against the wall and kissed her neck. He heard her moaning. Eyes closed, enjoying the work of his man. He kept by kissing her breast, her belly and then came back to her mouth. She grasped his lips as his face was close to hers. She deepened the kiss, she wanted more of him. He pushed her harder against the wall. Steam surrounded them. Atmosphere was hotter and hotter. He pressed his body against her. He did his best to warm her, to give her pleasure. She moaned again and again. She pressed Neil’s hands. She finally rested her head over his chest. She was exhausted but this moment was definitively worth it. 

They came out of the shower sweating, tired but blessed. They went to bed and fall asleep naked, cuddled against the other. 

In the morning, they stayed a little longer in the bed, hugging and kissing. They had to be at Bonaventure for 10 AM. It was perfect to dawdle in bed, stroking each other’s skin. She loved when he was running his fingers against her bare skin. He kissed her shoulder. She took one of his hand, pressed it and put it on her breast. She liked to feel it there. The alarm clock rang the end of their procrastination. 

They got dressed, ate breakfast. Neil drove till Bonaventure. Routine morning in San José. A routine they were about to leave. 

“When do we tell them we’re leaving?” Claire asked Neil. 

“The earlier, the better… I mean Mrs. Lynch is already informed of…”

“Neil, I don’t talk about Mrs. Lynch. I’m talking about the others: Audrey, Marcus, Shaun… “

He paused for a moment. “Probably the sooner we can… What are you thinking about this? It must be a common decision. It’s us leaving and I want to tell them the truth when we are both on the same line…”

She pinched her lips. The same thing she always did when she was happy with what was happening or what she was listening to. “We could tell them as soon as we have arranged everything with the HR. So we have a precise date to give them. And to be honest, I’d rather tell Morgan and Alex first… I mean, they have been the only two people who have been there for us since the earthquake. I never thought I’d tell something like this but Morgan Is kind of my best friend now, like Alex. I want to talk to them first.”

He nodded. “What about invited them to dinner this weekend? I’ll do the cook and you take care of the dishes…” He let out a laugh. She started laughing too. 

“That’s a deal.”

Neil parked the car. They walked through the parking talking about the dinner they were about to host, holding hands. 

“You look nice, today, Claire. You too, Dr. Melendez.”

They jumped of surprise. Neil nodded to Shaun to say hi. “Oh Shaun! So good to see you! How are you?”

“Good, thank you. Claire, I’ve heard you were having a big surgery tomorrow and I was wondering if I can join you to watch.”

“Oh yes of course! Come this afternoon in my office and I’ll update you about the case!”

“Ok.”

“Is everything Ok, Shaun? You seem … Sad...”

She gave Neil a nudge and then looked at him with big eyes. ‘Yeah Shaun, you seem to feel under the weather… Can we do something for you?”

“No…”

“But if you need help or someone to talk you know we’re here with Claire, right?”

“So… Ok… Lea and I had a fight and she left the apartment.”

Claire let go of Neil’s hand to comfort Shaun. “Shaun… I’m so sorry for you… I know you care about her … But maybe she’s not right for you… I mean since you’re with her, all I see is you suffer… Have you considered maybe she’s not the one…”

“No, no, no.”

She put her hand on his back. “Shaun, don’t take it personally… But I have the impression, you’re always feeling miserable when she’s around… Maybe you should be with someone who respects you for who you are and loves you despite your fears and flows…” 

She raised her eyes and looked at Neil. He smiled at her. She had finally found her happy place, the one she thought she‘ll never find. Neil talked to Shaun, maybe he will better hear a man’s point of view.

“Shaun, I don’t want to be rude… Or to interfere in your personal life but you seem to be sad since she’s around… Think about you, what you want, what you would like. And ask you if Lea could be a part of this. If you think, she can’t, it’s because she’s not the one for you… The one will always think of you first. The one will always tell you when you’re right or wrong. And she will make you feel loved and secure…”

He pressed Claire’s shoulder. She was his one, his better half, the person he entrusted the most in the world. Shaun nodded and left them. They hoped he listened to them. Claire didn’t like to see his friend so unhappy. “Time to go to work. I’ll call Mrs. Lynch this morning and I keep you in touch.”

“Ok” But her mind was still caring about Shaun. She was like this, always caring about the others. It was what made her so special. He kissed her before going out of the elevator. 

“See you.” She waved at him and joined her office. She had work to do before solving her personal issues. She studied to be at her best for her big tomorrow surgery. Then she went to see her patients. Mrs. Anderson was getting better. Her falling in her garage will soon be an old memory. Mr. Harrington was still in a coma but his exams showed his infection had stopped spreading. Mr. Harris was so happy when she told him he will be discharged in the new few days. As she was on her way to go see her last patient, Mrs. Burgess, she was stop by Neil. 

“I’ve got good news. “

“What?”

“Mrs. Lynch has time for us around 6. Is it Ok with you? “

“Oh that’s great! Of course, I’m Ok.”

She was so excited. It was a first step towards their new life. As everyone looked at them, she realized she had talked way too loud. He let out a laugh.

“I may have been a little bit too enthusiastic.” She shrugged and made a face. “They all look at us.”

“And you care about this, really?”

She laughed. Of course, she didn’t. She passed through this a while ago. “See you at 6, then.”

She nodded. They wanted to kiss so badly, but neither of them wanted to do so in the corridor of the hospital. Who did this anyway! They will have time to kiss tonight when they will be at home alone. He left and reached the elevator followed by his residents, as she used to be once. Oh God, he was so sexy in his white coat! She took a deep breath and went to see Mrs. Burgess to talk about her surgery on the next day. 

At 6 PM, Claire joined Neil in front of the HR office. They took a deep breath and opened the door. Mrs. Lynch was waiting for them. “Always on time!”  
They smiled and nodded. “I don’t show you the way to my office, I think you do know it now.”

They sat in front of her desk. “I imagine that if you want to see me, it’s because you have found something…”

“You guess right…” Neil spoke first. “In fact, last week, we went to Raleigh to meet Dr. Allison Cameron… And we kind of come to an agreement… She wants us to start in Raleigh General Hospital as soon as possible…”

“We hope you could help us to deal with all the papers and the hospital administration so we can give her a date for our arrival in Raleigh.”

Mrs. Lynch looked at them seriously. She remained silent for a moment. After a while, she opened her mouth. “You know that once the process is launched, there’s no turning back…”

Neil and Claire swallowed hard and then nodded. “We do know this.” Claire pressed Neil’s hand as she answered this to Mrs. Lynch. “Believe me ,. We talked about it for months before finally meeting Dr. Cameron. We even talked to you before we started our researches. It is a rational process…”

“And this was what I wanted to hear. Give me some times for calling the board and I keep you in touch. I may have an answer tomorrow.”

This night, Neil and Claire came back home a little lighter. The process was on. Soon, they will be far away from San José. It will be weird to be away from their friends, but they could come and visit! Before they could even think about all that was about to change, they felt asleep. 

On the day after, they came to work as an ordinary day. They did their work as ordinary doctors. Claire spent more than 5 hours in the OR to fix Mrs. Burgess’ aorta. Shaun was there with her. It was good to spend some time with him. She loved to work with him from the day he arrived in Bonaventure and for a moment, she asked how she could explain to him she was gonna to leave soon. Anyway, it was not the place to think about this. Mrs. Burgess needed her whole attention. 

“Thanks for your help, Shaun! It was nice to operate with you, today.”

He was focused on cleaning his hands in the big sink. “Thanks for allowing me to assist you.”

She smiled. He was growing up at his own rhythm days after days. But she could say he had changed since the day they met. He had more assurance now than before. Soon he will fly on his own. She was proud of him. 

“How are things with you and Lea anyway? Yesterday, you seemed sad and lost. Neil and I were sad for you…”

He remained silent for a moment. He balanced his head. She knew he only did that when he was embarrassed. “Is everything alright, Shaun? You know you can talk to me… I’m your friend.”

He didn’t say a word. She didn’t force him to. He will talk to her when he felt it. She cleaned her hands, took off her cap and blue scrub. “See you soon, Shaun.”

“I broke up with Lea yesterday.”

Claire stayed speechless for a while. “You did?”

“I did… I had thought about what you said yesterday with Dr. Melendez. And you were right… Lea never accepted me for you I was. I wish she did but she didn’t.”

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry…”

“No, don’t be sorry… I had been dumb.”

“No one is dumb when it comes to feelings, Shaun. It’s hard to admit a relationship is over. Especially when you still care about the person… But sometimes, it’s necessary to move on and find the good one. Because there is a good one for you someone in this world, Shaun. You just have not found her yet. But you would…”  
“Like you and Dr. Melendez…”

She smiled. “Yes, Like Neil and I. It’s complicated to find the right one. But I can assure you, Shaun. When you find the right person, the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, everything seems easier. You can fight over laundry, cleaning or shopping… At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter…”

“Ok.” Shaun left quickly. She knew he needed time to process all she had just told him. But he will. She turned her phone on and saw Neil had sent her several messages. Mrs. Lynch gave them a departure date. They will be freed from any engagement in Bonaventure Hospital in three months…


	48. Chapter 48 : Goodbyes

Chapter 48 : Goodbyes

This night after coming home, they decided to call Morgan and Alex. At this time, they must have been home - in fact Morgan’ home to be honest - Alex slept there almost all nights, for months. They were the only people with Mrs. Weeks they really wanted to talk about their crazy life project. Claire called Morgan. In less than three ringtones, she answered. 

“Hey Claire, what’s going on? You miss me, right?”

“Shut up! I’ve something important to tell you. And I do miss you but it’s not the moment to have a girl talk.”

“I knew it ! You’re free on Saturday? We could go to restaurant and dance?”

“With pleasure ! It feels so good to imagine! You come and get me? Alex can come and stay with Neil?”

“Great idea! They could talk about golf or all these annoying things they like. And now I’m listening!”

“Alex is there? Call him. I’m with Neil and we would like to announce you something… And no I’m not pregnant, Morgan.”

She looked at Neil and whispered “yet” in a very low voice. He smiled. He did know she wanted to have kids. It was just not the good time. He kissed her in the neck, making her shiver. She rested her head on his shoulder while she kept talking. 

“In fact, we wanted to tell you first that we have found new positions. We’re leaving Bonaventure hospital in three months.”

There were some seconds of silence, then… “Oh my God, but this is amazing!!!” Morgan was literally yelling in her phone. Claire and Neil could barely hear Alex who was next to her. “I mean this is why you wanted since you’re back. I’m so happy for you. Even if it means you will be like 3000 miles away from us and it’s a lot. But it is so important for you.”

“Congratulations to you too. Hope you can hear me because I’m sitting next to a crazy woman.”

“Oh shut up, I know you like this.”

Alex and Morgan kept talking together for like 2 minutes. Neil and Claire laughed while listening to them. They were so funny. Yet at first, it was not the impression they gave to us. Almost ten years later, they have learned to know them and to be fair, they were happy to have them in their life. They spent the rest of the night to talk about Raleigh and their new jobs. 

“What about you going at our home on Saturday night? I know we talked about going outside Claire but maybe we can postpone to the next weekend?”

“It will be great!”

[…]

Neil and Claire went to work each day, trying to find a way to announce they were leaving. Days passed and they still had no ideas how to tell their coworkers that in three months they won’t be there anymore. They wanted to do things right. To tell them in advance, not to take them by surprise. But they feared their reactions. She was scared Shaun would break. It was a tough time for him and he was weak. Neil kept telling her, he was a big boy, that he had grown up a lot since he arrived in Bonaventure but she still saw him as his little brother she had to look after, the one she had to protect at any cost. 

Neil was more scared about Audrey and Marcus’ reactions. He had been knowing them for more than 20 years. They had been to university together, done their residency in the same hospital and finally worked in Bonaventure. He didn’t know how they were gonna accept his decision. Especially after Audrey made it clear she was disappointed he chose Claire over her. But it was a fact, he was in love with Claire. To be honest, it was the first time he was feeling this way. If Audrey couldn’t understand it, it was not his problem. He had already been honest with her, not hiding how he felt since Claire and he had been officially together. After all she was a growing up, she could handle it. 

On Saturday, they met Morgan and Alex for dinner at Morgan’s apartment. Finally, a moment where they could be frank and honest! Keeping their secret from the other ate them up from the inside. 

“Still haven’t say anything?” Alex asked them as they ate the beef roast Morgan had prepared in the afternoon. 

“Not yet… We’re looking for the best way to do it and the right moment…” Claire answered. 

“Maybe there’s no right moment… You just need to tell them, to clear the air. You’ll feel better after. And if they are really your friends and colleagues, they’ll be happy for you. Or they are only toxic people surrounded you.”

This Alex’s last line hit them. He was right. If they could not understand, they were not really their friends if they didn’t accept their decision. Just Shaun will need some more time to proceed the information. But deep down, Claire knew he will understand. 

“Enough talking about this, tell me how this hospital in Raleigh is? And this Dr. Cameron? What will you handle there? Morgan wants to know everything!”

Morgan managed to ease the atmosphere and made them all laugh. Claire and Neil explained their new jobs there and also their quick meeting with Dr. Cameron’s husband who was a doctor there too. 

“A pretty interesting character.” Neil added. “ I’ve never seen a doctor like this before! But I’ve made some researches on my own and apparently the guy is a crack when it comes to find the most complicated diagnosis. And he’s not an… easy person, to say things politely.” 

“Or as I’ll say, he’s an ass. But you know… Being cutthroat is an excellent MO…”

Claire and Neil shared a look. He reminded them of one of their first moments… In the stairs when he told her she was smart, special, that she needed to play the game on her terms and that she didn’t have to wait for it. One of the moments that determined her career, one of the moments that defined their relationship. 

“What? You don’t agree?”

“Oh yes we do! You were a queen to this game, Morgan.”

“I still am.”

“You should see her with the pharmaceutical commercials. She literally drags them and always gets what she wants. This is funny… And precious.”

“Thanks, honey.”

The night continued. Talking, sipping good wines, Claire and Morgan left the table when Neil and Alex started to talk about going golfing together. 

“Oh God, if I hear him once again talking about golfing, I’m gonna slap him.”

Claire laughed. “Same feeling here. I can’t understand this new obsession they have for this sport that is not really one. But God, I don’t say a word or he becomes crazy and spends hour to explain to me how golfing is amazing.”

“I know. Alex is the same. Even if I’ve told him, this is the most idiotic game in the world, he keeps telling me I don’t understand a thing. Anyway, ready for this new ride in Raleigh?”

“Kind of excited and anxious too. I mean I’m glad to leave San José and all the bad memories I’ve here. But I’m sad to leave you and Alex… And also Shaun even if we were less close those last years…”

“You don’t really leave us, you just flee from earthquakes. “ Morgan laughed. 

“Oh God, yes. No more earthquake in my life or I could become crazy! But I definitively missed our night out!”

“Don’t worry, we will find a way to come to Raleigh or to make you come for the clinic. You know, there’ll always papers to sign.”

“Or something to celebrate… I mean, Alex and you… It seems like it’s working well.”

“I don’t have to complain.”

“Really? Alex is one of the nicest guys I know! And he literally eats in your hand.”

Morgan blushed. She didn’t know how to admit she cared about this man, like she had barely before. He was nice to her. Maybe too much. And he made feel as she was important. Claire noticed her friend’s uneasiness and pressed her forearm. 

“I know the feeling. You will finally find the words. It will come with time. But don’t stop holding to this feeling because it is the best I’ve ever experienced.”

Claire left her friend and joined the table when Neil and Alex were debating over basketball. She dropped a kiss on Neil’s cheek. Morgan joined them some minutes later bringing the dessert. The evening ended a few hours later when Neil and Claire came back to their car to go home. After this night with their friends, they were more appeased. As they went to bed this night, they had both decided that on Monday, they will tell all their friends and coworkers they were leaving Bonaventure by the end of the year.

[…] 

“So, we do it this today.” 

“Yes, I’ve already called Marcus and Audrey and told them to go and have lunch with us today.”

“Great. What about Shaun? I’d like to have more time to talk with him…”

He looked at her with his puppy eyes. She was too cute when she was worried for Shaun. “We can ask him to come here after his shift is over?” 

She looked at him with a smile. “Thanks.”

Marcus and Audrey came to Neil’s office at lunch time. Claire was already here. She had stayed for the whole morning here to work on her files, not to be late. Like old time she sat cross-legged in the coach with her computer on her thighs. Neil sat at his desk and completed his patients’ files. 

“Hello everyone.”

Claire and Neil got their heads out of their files. “Hey Marcus!”

“Audrey is with a patient, she’ll be there in 10 minutes.”

“Perfect, just time for us to get ready. What do you think about ordering some Italian food from Veronica’s?”

“Sounds great.”

Neil called his favorite restaurant and ordered enough pasta and pizza for the fourth of them. Audrey joined them later. Just in time to start eating with them. 

“Sorry, I had a problem with a stubborn patient.”

“Just in time, Veronica’s just delivered our lunch.”

She sat next to Marcus. Claire looked loudly at Neil. He nodded discreetly. 

“So why did you ask us to come and have lunch with? Not that we didn’t enjoy being with you but…”

“First, we thank you for being with us today. We wanted to tell you something before we make an official announcement. As friends and dear colleagues, we think it’s important you know that…” 

Neil took a deep breath. Claire took his hand. She nodded. “We’re leaving.” Claire preferred to be clear. 

“You’re taking a sabbatical once again?” Lim laid into abruptly. 

Claire was surprised by the tone she had used. 

“In fact, we’re leaving Bonaventure, San José. We have taken a new job in Raleigh starting in January…”

Marcus and Audrey remained silent for a while. The atmosphere was heavy, weird, uneasy. 

“This is great for you two. But why leaving? You have anything you like here? And what about the HR?”

“Actually, the HR already knows. They even gave us a departure date. We end on December, 17th. We still have some hours to catch and we start on Raleigh on January, 4th.”

Audrey didn’t say a word. She didn’t even look at them. Only Marcus talked. “It’s gonna be weird not to see you around… But I guess you’re pretty sure of your decision…”

“We are… Claire and I talked about this option for months before making a move. Then this opportunity came and we had a good feeling with Dr. Cameron and it was done.”

“I don’t know how to explain. Neil and I just felt it was the good moment to start something new. This trip in Thailand really changed us, the way we look at things, at life…”

Neil looked at her. “We just knew. And this is excited and scary but I can’t wait to take this new start.”

“So congratulations! I really hope you find what you are looking for in Raleigh. Right, Audrey?”

Audrey gave them a faint smile. “Of course. Congratulations for this fresh start. We all miss you so much here. Bonaventure won’t be the same without you.”

They ended to eat and Marcus and Audrey left Neil’s office. Marcus shook his hand and hugged Claire before leaving. “Glad for you, guys.”

Audrey nodded at them and gave a smile. “Congratulations and good luck in this new chapter of your life.”

As they vanished in the corridor, Claire took Neil’s hand in hers and rested her head on his arm. “That was… weird.”

He laughed. “Totally… But I’m feeling better. They know. Even if Audrey didn’t feel so happy for us. Marcus was surprised but I’m sure he enjoys us starting a new life.”

Neil remembered the talking he had with Audrey some weeks ago. When she told him she hoped he had chosen her over Claire. But he’d rather not tell Claire about it because it was irrelevant. He was leaving the city where he learned to be a good doctor, where he almost lost his life and met the love of his life. There was no place for drama here. He turned to Claire. 

“She’ll get over it. Let’s focus on us. And also let’s find the best way to tell Shaun the news.”

He leaned on Claire and kissed her. “I thought we agreed not to do this in here?”

“Don’t care what they say, we’re leaving!”

And she leaned on him to kiss him deeper while giggling. The definition of happiness for both of them.


	49. Chapter 49 : Last Time

Chapter 49: Last time 

Shaun joined Claire in Neil’s office at 7PM after his shift as she asked him. 

“Claire, I’m here as you asked me. Why did you call me? I’m gonna miss my 7:24 bus.”

Claire smiled at his friend. “Always so in time, Shaun… Don’t worry about taking the bus to go home. Neil and I will bring you home. In fact, we would like to talk to you about something very important. Could you just come in the office and sit with us for a moment?”

Shaun looked around him for a while. “OK.” He sat on the couch. Claire came next to him. Neil sat in front of them. He knew Shaun didn’t like to have too many people near him. Claire was the legitimate one to be next to him. She was his friend, she knew how to talk to him and to explain things to him. He listened to her more than anyone else. Like a big sister protecting him from the dangers of the outside world. She did this when he was mean and unfair to him at the beginning. He was still ashamed of the way he treated him. He will always fell guilty for his behavior of this time. 

“Shaun. Thank you for being here. Neil and I wanted to tell you something very important before it was official. Because you’re one of my best friends and it is important for me, for us, you know before the others.”

Shaun remained attentive, even if she could tell he had at least 1000 ideas passing through his mind at the moment. She took a deep breath, looked at Neil who winked at her and started to talk. 

“You know Neil and I took a sabbatical at the beginning of the year.”

“Yes. I remember and you also got married during your sabbatical.”

“That’s right, Shaun… And you remember I told you how this trip changed us… It had helped us to see things better, to understand what was important in our life…” 

Her hands moved anxiously. “And we came to the conclusion we couldn’t remain in San José anymore because it reminded us of too many bad memories.”

Shaun didn’t react to Claire’s last sentence. It was as if he was lost in his mind. Claire and Neil shared a worried look. 

“Shaun, sweetie, you’re right?”

“So you are leaving?”

She was surprised each time at how quickly he could process an information. “Yes. We’re leaving by the end of the year. Our last day in Bonaventure is on December, 17th. And we’re starting our new job on January, 4th.”

“Where are you going?”

“We’re going to Raleigh in North Carolina.”

“So I won’t see you again?”

“Are you kidding Shaun? You’re better answer my zoom calls and come to see us! And we will come from time to time for the clinic! You’re not gonna get rid of me so easily.”

“Raleigh is known as the Oak city.”

“Yes, in fact, we saw a lot when we were there with Claire.”

“I do love trees. And oaks are trees. So I can come and visit you with Vera.”

Claire looked at him puzzled. “Wait Shaun, who’s Vera?”

“Vera is my girlfriend.”

“Oh that’s great, Shaun!” She gave a large smile to Neil. It could tell looking at her she was relieved his friend was not alone. “How do you meet her?”

“I cut her leg during the earthquake.” He was almost too joyful when he said this. 

“But it was almost 6 years ago...”

“I know. I met her at the supermarket in August and she gave me her phone number. And after I broke up with Lea, I found it in my pocket and I called her. She invited me to drink a coffee, which is inaccurate because I don’t drink coffee. So I said no and she told me I could drink anything I wanted instead of coffee. I had an orange juice.”

“That’s a very cool story, Shaun. I’m happy for you, really.”

“We both are, Shaun. You seem appeased, you even have a little smile at the corner of your mouth when you talk about her. This is nice.”   
Shaun remained silent for a moment and stood up. “Could you bring me home now?”

“Of course. Just give us five minutes to gather our stuff.” Neil hurried to tidy his desk and turned off his computer. Claire gathered her files on the sofa and put them in Neil’s cupboard. She will come back and get them tomorrow morning before joining her office. They dropped Shaun at his apartment and drove to theirs. They were glad this day was behind them. To be honest, it had been better than what they had imagined. But they were tired. By chance, they stopped at their favorite Japanese restaurant on their way home to get some food. In less than one hour, they were ready to go to bed. 

Weeks passed quickly. Neil and Claire were more than busy: their cases in Bonaventure were exploding as if their bosses didn’t care they were leaving. They were packing their stuff and looking for a place to stay in Raleigh. December was already here and they didn’t even have done the half of the things they had written. And as if it was not enough, Claire was sick as hell since the beginning of the week. 

“You’re gonna be ok? I don’t like seeing you like that. Did you take some medications?”

“Just food poisoning I think. I shouldn’t have eaten fish at the hospital restaurant… I’ll be better in a few days… If you excuse me, here I go again…” She ran to the bathroom. He followed her just to be sure she was OK. 

“Claire, you can’t come today… You don’t have any surgery scheduled today from memory. Stay at home, sleep and drink water.”

“I’ve work to do.”

“And your stomach is telling you otherwise. Next time, you won’t eat this weird fish from the hospital restaurant. I told you it seemed weird.”

She was seated on the toilet floor, waiting for the next round to happen. He came closer and kissed her hair. “You stay here and you rest. I come back home as soon as I’ve seen my patients and I’ll work from here. “

She looked at him, trying to fight but she didn’t have the strength to do it this time. Her stomach was a mess, and her head was about to explode. 

“Go to bed and wait for me. I come as soon as I can. “

She nodded and looked at him leaving the apartment. The day was gonna be very long. Neil came back a few hour later, she was sleeping in the coach. He covered her with the tartan rug next to him. She was so pale, he didn’t like this. He told Marcus and Audrey to beep him in case of emergency. Anyway, he only had 2 more weeks to work in Bonaventure and had made clear he didn’t take any new patients. Audrey didn’t seem really pleased… Marcus just nodded in agreement. 

He checked on Claire for the next two days. She was getting a little better until she threw up again. He finally called one of his friends. Claire needed an appointment to a doctor’s and some exams. Just to be sure, it was really food poisoning. They went to the lab a few hours later. But they will have to wait some more days for the results. 

“Don’t worry, I’m already feeling better. Look I didn’t throw up in the last 6 hours. I’m making progress!”

This night, Neil didn’t sleep well and spent a lot of time watching for Claire. Her head was resting on his chest. He could feel her breathe against his skin. She seemed quiet. He couldn’t stop stroking her hair and to make sure she was fine. He will feel better when the results will be there. 

On the days after, Claire was felling better, just tired. She came back to work, so did Neil. It was weird for both of them. They were spending their last days in Bonaventure. This weekend, Morgan and Park organized a little party for their goodbyes. It was really the end of an era and all seemed so unreal. They emptied their office. For Claire, it was quick. After all, she had only been working in there for less than a year. And she often ended up in Neil’s office, crossed-legged seated on his sofa, as she used to when she was a resident. In a way, it was a comfort place for her. And it always will be. 

Neil had more troubles to empty his office. He had spent at least 15 years in there. He was working there when he was a resident under the supervision of Dr. Harrelson. Then Dr. Harrelson retired and named him as his successor. And since then, he had been working here. Claire watched him, from the doorstep, trying to choose what to take and what to leave. 

“Can I help you with something?”

He raised his head and gave her a large smile. “Maybe…”

“Just maybe, I feel offended.” She giggled. He laughed. Once again, she managed to make him feel better when he was drowning just a few seconds before. 

They spent hours to fill boxes with books, files and picture frames. Claire took care of all the old files and brought them the archive service to be sure the hospital could still use Neil’s old patient files when he will not be around anymore. Neil took the boxes and put them in the trunk of his car. It was surprising how a whole life in Bonaventure could be contained in only ten or so boxes. 

He came back to his office and found Claire packing the last things that were left. “I think it’s done… You alright?”

“I think so... Just weird to tell me my last 15 years here holds in so few boxes.”

She nodded. “As we don’t have offices anymore in the next hours… I was thinking… Maybe we could go and see some people to say goodbye… I mean I really need to kiss and hug Nurse Petringa, you know. She’s been so nice with us, with me when you were in the ICU… I mean … Without her, I don’t know where I could have been by now.”

A tear rolled down her cheek. Neil came closer and took her in his arms. “She saved us. She’s one of a kind. And there’s no way we leave without telling her goodbye. I mean she helped me a lot too… To process my feelings, you know. She helped me opened my eyes over my feelings for you when I was blind and stubborn.”

They walked across the hospital, side by side to go to the ICU. Nurse Petringa was there, filling her patients sheets, as Claire saw her do so many times when she spent most of her free time here checking on Neil. They came closer to her in silence. 

“Nurse Petringa?”

She raised her head from the files. “Ohhhh, you two! What are you doing here? I’ve heard you’re leaving Bonaventure?”

“In fact, this is our last day. We’re leaving on Raleigh at the end of the month to start new jobs.” Neil answered. 

“And we wanted to come to tell you goodbye… And also thank you from everything you have done for both of us. For Neil and I.” 

“Oh come on. I’ve only done my job.”

“You have made so much more. I mean… You have been with the whole time. You even found a bed for me to sleep there and not in a chair. You always found the good words to support me when I was low. You saved me from drowning, really.”

Claire couldn’t help but hug her. “Thank you for everything.”

Neil looked at them. He smiled. This woman really helped them to find each other. She had been a true and solid support for him when he was hospitalized. When he thought his life was over because he was disabled. 

“Nurse Petringa, I couldn’t have everything I have now if you didn’t scold me several times. You’ve learned me that disability doesn’t necessarily mean something bad. It just means that you have to adjust your life.”

She smiled at them. “You’ve learned a lot to me too, Dr. Melendez. Like how to be so resistant to my feelings for so long for instance.”

Neil and Claire lowered their heads, both confused and embarrassed. 

“Don’t worry. Actually, it’s cute. You are cute. When I hear you got married during your sabbatical, I was over the moon.”

“That’s really nice of you, Nurse Petringa.” Neil was shaking listening her to talk about them this way. 

“Oh and you can call me Deena, now.”

“So Deena, would you make them the pleasure to come to restaurant with us tonight? And please call me Neil.”

Deena smiled at them. “Let me end my shift in 30 minutes and call my husband to tell him, I’m coming back home later. I meet you in the lobby.”

“See you then.”

For the last time, Claire and Neil paced up and down the corridors of Bonaventure hospital as doctors. It was strange. It was liberating. It was a new adventure starting. Neil took Claire’s hand. 

“I know you don’t like romantic gestures but this is symbolic for me. Like a closure. I came here as a young, arrogant resident. I’ve learned a lot in these walls. And I want to get out of the hospital holding the hand of the woman who has taught me so much over the years and showed me that arrogance doesn’t make me a better surgeon, only kindness can do this.”

She pouted as always. He loved when she did this with her lips. “In that case, I’ll be happy to hold your hand. And you know I ain’t a fond of romantic gestures… Except when they come from you.”

Their time in Bonaventure has come to an end. But their time together was only beginning.


	50. Chapter 50 : For good

Chapter 50 : For good 

They spent the new few days filling boxes and cleaning. All had to be ready in less than 10 days when the movers will come to bring everything in North Carolina where they rented an apartment near the hospital. They gave up on the idea of finding a place to stay from San José. They wanted to visit and find the good place, the one where they really felt like home. 

Morgan and Alex came to help them to pack their things during the weekend. It was also a way for them to spend more time together. Neil and Morgan took some times off from the boxes to handle some last things about the clinic. Neil wanted to be sure she had all the cards in hands when it will be at the other side of the country, even if he completely trusted her. She ran the clinic for more than a year now. But he needed to give her some more information about the legal side he just received from his lawyer. 

Alex and Claire remained alone, packing over and over again. How could you keep so much stuff? 

“Happy?”

Claire looked at Alex and smiled. “Yes… I think I am… Crazy, right?”

“You deserve it, Claire. I mean, you’ve been through hell and yet, you’ve always put the others before you. It was time the wheel of fortune turns in your favor.”  
She was embarrassed. She never knew how to react when people told good things about her. 

“Thanks Alex. For being my friend. For always being supportive and caring. It means a lot.”

He nodded. He was like her, embarrassed when someone gave him a compliment. She knew it was time to change subject. 

“By the way, you and Morgan... It seems to work well…”

“It does!” He let out a laugh. “Who could have said I’ll date her? She was so bitchy when we were residents. I swear I could have slapped her in the face so many times and you do know how calm I am.”

Claire laughed. He was the most peaceful man she knew. Always calm whatever the circumstances. 

“She was a real sneaky bastard! I still remember the times she stole my idea to get my surgery. She was the worst!”

“And this way she had to put people down and still crush them just to be the first.”

“Alex, you’re talking to me. She literally filed a favoritism complaint against Neil because of me.”

“This lil bitch!” 

They burst into laughing. Old Morgan had been the worst during their residency. Her favorite pastime was to thrown spanners in their works. When she could have risen on her own because she was brilliant. But she preferred to be mean.

“Losing her hands really changed her…”

“For the best.” Alex smiled. 

“Yeah. Never have had imagined she’ll become one of my best friend. But I’m glad she has grown up.”

“You know after Mia dumped me I was a mess. I thought I would end up my life alone…”

“Life can be surprising… I know a lot about this, believe me.”

He let out a small laugh. It was indeed. “Morgan and I will officially move together in a few months. Just decided this this week. We’re looking for an apartment.”

“Oh my God, Alex, this is amazing!”

“I guess you moving out gave us the strength to take to the next step…”

“I’m happy for you. Really.”

“What are you whispering you too?”

Morgan made them jumped. “You scare us to death. Alex was telling me about you two moving in together. Hope you don’t mind he told me…” 

“In fact, we wanted to tell you tonight. He just has been quicker than me. And I might have told about it to Neil while we were talking about the clinic.”

“What about drinking some champagne to celebrate this?”

“You may but I’ll pass. My food poisoning is still playing me some tricks. But I’ll have an apple juice instead!”

“And we could talk about your little departure party?”

Night was gonna be interesting. Days passed, Morgan and Alex went to help as soon as they could. They left in a few days. It seemed unreal. Like this party Morgan and Alex had organized in their honor in one of the ball room of Bonaventure. It was tonight and they were still surprised the hospital authorized this. The only thing they had to do was to get prepared. Claire left the bedroom when she was looking for the perfect outfit for a while. As she came back, she seemed lukewarm. 

“Everything’s Ok?”

“The lab has called!”

“And? Is everything ok?” Neil came closer to her quickly. He could feel something was wrong. 

“Yeah don’t worry, they just had to redo the analysis because something was not clear. But everything is ok, it’s just a really bad food poisoning. Should be in perfect fit in a few days… Anyway, thanks for caring so much about me…”

“Always.”

“You seem upset… Are you sure everything is alright?”

“It’s just that… No, forget about it.”

“What? You seem upset…”

“It’s just that…” She was stumbling on words and she didn’t like this. He was looking at her, she swallowed hard. “For just a short time… I thought I could be … You   
know… Pregnant…”

“You did? Because it crossed my mind too…”

“It did?”

“Yeah…”

She smiled at him, some tears rolled on her cheeks. “Thought I was the only one… I’m just sad now that it was only food poisoning.”

“So you’re saying you would like to have a baby…”

“I just say that this is a thing that I would like to try with you…”

A large grin drew on his face. “So you’re saying that maybe we could try to have a baby… Together?”

Tears were rolling on his cheeks too. He had dreamed about this moment for so long and now it was real. Claire was telling him she wanted to have a baby with him. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted this to happen so badly since forever and he only met disappointment when it came to this. But not with Claire. In fact, since he was with her, his life had never been better. They fought from time to time, which was healthy for a couple, but they really had the same way to embrace the future. 

Claire couldn’t stop nodding and giggling. “Yeah… I mean, maybe it’s crazy because we’re moving, because we’re starting a new job… But I’d love to try because nothing would make me happier than having our baby.”

She looked at him. Right in the eyes. Both were crying. Both were blissful. It was one of these moments in life when you know you are at the right place, at the right time. And it was beautiful to be there together right now. It took them long minutes to come back to reality. They dried their tears of joy and got dressed for tonight’s party. Morgan and Alex had planned a little something for their departure in one of the ballrooms from the hospital and it was in less than two hours.

He put his black tuxedo on with his white shirt. She chose a long red dress and black heels. She tied her hair on the left side and let her curly hair fallen over her shoulder. At last, she put red lipstick to match with her dress. Behind her, Neil was enjoying the view. She turned to him. 

“So what do you say? Anyway you look handsome in this tuxedo.”

“You’re…pffff… stunning, really.”

She blushed. “Really?”

For any answer, he came closer to her and dropped a kiss on her red lips. “Mrs. Browne-Melendez, people will only see you tonight.” 

She lowered her head. She was not used to be greeted this way. And even after two years with Neil, she was not used to be treated this way. 

“Let’s go. Alex and Morgan will kill us if we’re late.” Neil took Claire’s hand after she put her jacket and they went to the car. Twenty minutes later, they were at Bonaventure. 

As they arrived in the ballroom, they were welcomed by Morgan who was overexcited. 

“She has been like this, since this morning.” Alex told them. She showed them the room they had decorated. They also had invited some of their friends. And members of the hospital. They couldn’t do otherwise. They had lent them this large room. Tables were all over the place. There was also a dancefloor and a DJ. 

“Morgan, Alex… This is too much… You shouldn’t have…” Claire was speechless. Neil was in the same state. 

“Our pleasure… And by the way, we don’t pay the DJ, Kellan is just working on his skills.”

“Kellan wants to be a DJ?” Neil asked astonished. 

“No, this is not a career choice. But he does love doing this during his free time.”

“And tonight, you don’t care about anything, Alex and I are taking care of everything! Just have fun!”

Morgan disappeared to welcome the guests. Alex waved at them and followed her. Neil and Claire stated there, hand in hand, in a big room dedicated to them. They shared a look and smiled at each other. This night will let them lifelong memories.

Soon the room was full of their friends and colleagues. It was good to see all these people talking and laughing. Even if they didn’t like those big events it was good to share one last moment all together. Claire and Neil talked a lot with Mrs. Lynch who reminded them of the clinic audition.

“You were so scared. And so close without even being together. I think this is the moment I knew we were going to be a thing. That one day, I will see you in my office to talk about relationship policy.”

She greeted them, telling that if they need anything they could call her and she’ll help them. They also shared some moments with Deena. She came with her son to the party. She explained to him that Claire had spent almost a year taking care of Neil, while she was working on finishing her residency. 

“Oh it was nothing. And it had learned me some little tricks.” She laughed and winked at Neil. “And you helped a lot! I couldn’t have done all these things without you.”  
“You’re like our guardian angel, Deena… You helped Claire while I was down and you put me in the right way, and God, I did need this.”  
Deena blushed. “Mom has always been a great matchmaker.” 

To be fair, at this moment, they had seen all the people they wanted to see. Except Shaun. Claire wanted to say to him some words. But before they saw Marcus and Audrey coming their way. 

“Hope this time Audrey will be less hard with me…”

“Don’t worry, she’s just like this because…”

He stopped and remembered he didn’t want to tell Claire about the talking he had with Audrey some weeks ago. It was better this way. Claire looked at him, with big eyes. 

“You know her, she loves to overcompensate and as we’re leaving she wants to give the change. Let her talk, in one week, we’ll be at the other end of the country. We can handle this for one more night.”

She pinched her lips as she used to when she was proud of herself or approving what she had just heard. 

“Audrey, Marcus. We’re so glad we could come!” Neil was too jovial to be honest. It made Claire smile. Audrey asked them about Raleigh. Marcus gave them some good addresses in North Carolina. He had some friends living in Georgia so he knew the place a little. 

They exchanged some words about the service. Audrey told them she had good leads to replace them even if it will never be the same. “A new area has come.” Marcus concluded. 

“Speaking of new areas… We would like to talk you about something…”

They seemed embarrassed. Audrey looked at the ground. Claire pushed Neil’s arm with hers and winked at him. They were about to say something juicy, something Claire was suspected for months. She told Neil about it. He loved when she was gossiping at home and theorizing about every possible scenario. And she was definitively over something there. 

“We wanted to tell you sooner… We don’t know where to begin with… “ Marcus was stuttering. Not his type. He was more into the action. 

“What Marcus is trying to say is that when you were gone in your sabbatical road trip, we have started to see each other… And we still do…”

Claire couldn’t restrain a smile. She knew it! Neil was more timorous. 

“That’s great. Really. I’m glad for you! It’s always great when friends make it to the superior level.”

He looked at Claire saying this. He could feel Audrey’s heavy look on him but he didn’t care. 

“I’m so glad for you! This is unexpected and yet so obvious. And it explains a lot of things.”

Marcus smiled at Claire’s remark. She knew how to ease off the atmosphere. Neil let out a laugh. 

“Claire may have noticed some changes in the last few months...” He winked at her. She laughed. 

“Ok, I may have overtalked about it to Neil… But I was feeling something. You were closer than before.”

Audrey and Marcus lowered the head. “Oh don’t be ashamed. This is just she knows how to read people. Ask her, I can’t hide something from her…”

“By the way, you’re becoming better with time.”

They shared again for some time, before Audrey decided it was time to let Claire and Neil enjoy the other guests. As they were about to shake hands, Claire proposed to hug. After all, it was a special occasion. Claire hugged Audrey first and thanked her for all the good advice she had given to her. Neil told a joke to Marcus who laughed hard. Then Marcus went to see Claire. 

Audrey remained still in front of Neil. “Can I?” He asked, seeing she was reluctant. She nodded. He hugged her. “I’m happy for you, Audrey. Time to move on to a new chapter of our life. Will always cherish our friendship. And Marcus is a really good guy.”

“Me too, Neil.” They got apart. He smiled at her, at Marcus and then took Claire’s hand. “What about eating a little? Don’t know about you but I’m starving.” 

“I know I’ll kill for a medium rare steak right now.”

They went to the buffet, and they could have sworn Marcus and Audrey’s hands intertwined as they were walking away.


	51. Chapter 51 : One way

Chapter 51 : One way

They didn’t know where Morgan and Alex had bought the food but all was delicious. They didn’t know what to choose. There were too many things! They filled their plates with different types and food and went to sit at a table. From here, they could enjoy the whole place and saw their friends and colleagues spending a good time. The best way to come to closure with this place. 

“Hi Claire, hi Dr. Melendez.”

“Shaun! So glad you’re here!” Claire had troubles to talk because her mouth was full of food. 

“Shaun, you do know you can call me Neil, now?”

“OK, Neil.” He seemed excited to call him like this for the first time. Claire and Neil exchanged a conniving look and smiled. 

“I wanted to present you Vera.” A woman behind Shaun waved at them. “She’s my girlfriend.”

“Nice to finally meet you. Shaun told us about you! Feel free to join us to eat!”

Shaun looked at Vera who nodded. “Ok”. They went to take some food and came back with their plates full. Vera sat next to Claire, Shaun just next to her. 

“So you’re Claire! Shaun can’t stop talking about you! He told me you are his best friend. And you’re Neil, Shaun’s former attending.”  
This Vera seemed very pleasant. She took time to listen to Shaun’s work stories. Claire appreciated her more and more. “And you’re the Vera he saved from a falling building!”

“That’s me, right next to you!”

“My husband has been injured in the same earthquake.”

“Shaun told me you had spent a lot of time in hospital. We must have been in physiotherapy at the same time! Lost one of my legs at the time. Old, bad memory. For you, it’s the same, I imagine?”

“Not the best one, indeed.” Neil let out a laugh. “But things are better now, fortunately! What about you?”

Neil and Vera shared their experiences during and after the earthquake, how they overcame their fears and the obstacles while Claire was talking with Shaun about the future. All of a sudden, Vera stood from her chair. “If you excuse me, I’m gonna look for some desserts! I’ll take back some for you. Be back in a few minutes!”

Claire waited some moments before Vera disappeared in the crowd and turned to Shaun. “She’s a really nice girl, Shaun. She seems to really like you and she cares about who you are… Are you happy?”

“I am…” He kept his eyes in the space before turning to his friends, twisting his hands. Claire, is it normal if I feel different when Vera is next to me? “

Claire let out a laugh. “What do you want to say by different?” She glared at Neil who smiled at her. He had heard what Shaun had just said. 

“My hands are moist, my heartbeat races every time she’s around… I may be sick.”

“Shaun, you’re in love…”

“Ah. Interesting.”

Claire laughed at Shaun’s reaction. He was cute when he didn’t understand what was happening. And processed the information. “I really like her. You seem so fine when she’s here. You’re gonna be ok, Shaun. Vera is the good one. Just trust what you heart is telling you.”

“But my heart doesn’t speak.” Claire gave him big eyes. “Ah… Ok you were telling metaphorically.”

She nodded. Vera came back with two plates full of little cakes for the four of them. They kept talking about Vera’s job- she was working at the public library – Raleigh and food. Vera was fond of cooking like Neil. Claire winked at Shaun. “We’re in very good hands!”

After Shaun left, they ended to eat. Morgan was running all over the place, preparing only God knew what. 

“What would you think about escaping this craziness and just be the two of us in a quiet place?”

“I’d love this.” She took his hand and they went out of the room before anyone could see them. “What do we do now?” Claire seemed as enthusiastic as a teenage girl who had run away from her parents’s on prom night. 

“Indeed, there’s something I’ve always wanted to do but I never dare to…”

He seemed mysterious. And hot. And attractive. “What are you proposing, Dr. Melendez?”

“Just follow me.”

He pressed her hand in his and pulled her in Bonaventure corridors. He knew them by heart. It was night. It was calm. It was sluggish. Patients were sleeping, nurses were completing the files. They sneaked out in the corridors like two robbers hiding from people. He led her to his old office. He still had an old key he didn’t give back to the HR. 

“Your old office? I’m curious.”

He put his fingers over her lips for her to remain quiet. He opened the door and they entered quickly. She giggled as the door closed. 

“Why are we here?” She bit her lower lip. 

“I’ve always had a dream when I was working here…”

“Which is?” She asked despite having her little idea about it. 

“I’ve always dreamt about making love on this balcony…”

She looked at him, naughtily. “I won’t lie… I may have had the same dream… Especially from the moment you booted me out of your team on this precise balcony... You were so sexy in this white shirt… Like tonight. And we’re lucky… The weather is mild tonight…”

She led him to the balcony and unzipped her dress. “Claire, you’re really a woman full of surprises.”

He kissed her deeply, passionately. It felt good. She answered by making the kiss more intense. She pushed his jacket from his shoulder and made it fall on the ground. Then she unbuttoned his shirt to touch his chest. He loved feeling her cold hands over his torso. He kissed her strongly. She jumped in his arms and wrapped her leg around his waist. He pushed her against the wall. She smiled at him. She let out a moan as they both reach orgasm. As time passed, they were becoming better at this, finding new ways to satisfy the other. In fact, tonight, it happened several times. The fact that they were never satiate with the other allowed them to reach new territories. And many still remained unexplored. She bit her lip as he pushed one time harder. She pressed her arms around his neck to feel him more in her. She loved this sensation. 

She nestled her head in his neck as he kept satisfying her. Tonight, he wanted to please her. He wanted to show her she was the only one that mattered. She moaned again and again. It was good, really good. She pressed him harder in her arms, closed her fists. She finally kissed him. Giving him all her rage, her passion, her love.   
He dropped her on the ground as they were done. She put her head on his chest. He kissed her hair. Not a word. They didn’t need that kind of things. They were over words. They picked their clothes on the ground and got dressed. He helped her to zip her dress while she did his tie knot. She took some moments in the small bathroom of the office to make her hair well. 

“Time to go back to the ballroom.”

“Thank you for this little, exciting break.” Claire sent him a kiss, finishing her sentence. 

As they walked closer to the elevator, they saw some nurses waiting for it. “I think we’re gonna take the stairs. It’ll be unconvenient to be caught now.”

Neil nodded in agreement and in less than one minute, they had vanished in the stairwell. They got off the stairs, not too quickly, Claire had high heels and at level 2, Neil stopped. He bent to her and kissed her softly. She let him lead her, she loved when he was taking things in charge. He finally put his forehead over her. 

“As a symbolic way.”

She looked at him, puzzled. “Don’t tell me, you don’t remember? It was at this precise place…”

“You went on one of my roughest days and put your hand over my shoulder. The first day I allowed myself to cry over my mother’s death…”

“The day that changed everything…The day I allowed myself to be closer to you…”

“A perfect moment in one of my darkest place.” She kissed him back and pressed him in her tiny arms. 

“The moment when I unconsciously knew you were a special person in my heart… I had never run after one of my residents before. In fact, I had never run after a person before you…”

They remained there for a while because this place had shaped their relationship. At this precise time, they had decided to be friends. At this precise moment, they had decided to go against the hospital rules. It was also the moment she started to call him “Neil” for the first time and but only when they saw outside of the hospital. It would have been too weird to call him by his first name inside Bonaventure, in front of the other residents. The moment they were dating without ever knowing it. Calling them “platonic friends”. 

They finally got off the final stairs which separated them from the ballroom. When they came inside, it was as if nothing had changed. People were laughing, drinking and eating. Morgan was running all over the place and Alex was asking to everyone if they were OK.

They entered the room the most natural they could and returned to the table they were seated at before. Claire nudged Neil and showed him Vera dancing a slow with Shaun in one of the corner of the dancefloor. He was uncertain, he was stressed but he was doing it. And for Claire it meant the world that her friend could do such a thing when she knew he disliked being touched. 

“My little baby brother is growing up.”

Neil came closer, just behind her and wrapped his arms around her. He kissed her in the neck, she shivered. “You have taught him well.”

They remained a while like this watching them dancing. Moving themselves to the rhythm of the song. 

“Always so in love, lovebirds.”

“Greta!” Claire let go of Neil’s arms to go and hug Mrs. Weeks.

“Nice to see you here, Greta. You look great!”

“You too, Neil ! In fact, look at how gorgeous you both are!”

It was good to see Greta here. “So glad you could come! We’re gonna miss you so much! You promise to come and see us in Raleigh.”

“Of course, sweetheart. I don’t know North Carolina. I count on you to make me discover this country!”

“When we will know the place by ourselves. We’re leaving in a place neither of us know but it’s kind of exciting. And the day we find our house we promise there’ll be   
a room just for you!”

Neil explained to her they had given up on finding a place to live from here. “We’re renting an apartment close to the hospital and once we’ll be there, we’re gonna explore the area and find our haven of peace.” 

“But before we need to take our marks in our new hospital, our new position. A lot of challenges!” 

“I’m not worried, sweetheart. I know you’re gonna be well, like you Neil. And I’m sure you will find the perfect place for you two. As long as I have a place to sleep when I’ll come and food, a lot of food, everything is OK.”

They kept talking for hours sharing their memories and talking about the future. They hugged again before she came home. Her cab was waiting for her outside. They escorted her up to the car and waved at her until the car turned in the large avenue.

It was already midnight and guests were leaving, greeting Neil and Claire for their new adventures. When they were (finally) alone in this big ballroom, they took time to analyze all they had lived this night, including the crazy moment on the balcony. 

“I could never forget about this place, even more after tonight. “ Neil was teasing Claire. 

“It makes it even more special.”

“Why is it so special?” Morgan surprised them. 

“Just the place, it’ll always have a special place in our hearts.”

They remained again a while, talking and laughing. The place was a mess, so much to tidy. “We’ll take care of it tomorrow with Alex. Go home and sleep, tomorrow is a big day.”

They hugged before separating and promised to see soon. Claire and Neil got back to their apartment one last time. They knew this way by heart. It was weird to realize it was the last time they drove it. This night, they didn’t sleep well. Shared between the fear of the unknown and the excitement of the novelty. 

On the morning, the movers came and loaded all their boxes in a truck. All they had left was their 4 suitcases right in the middle in the living room. In a few hours, they will leave San Jose, heavy-hearted to leave their friends and freed from their old bad memories. 

“Mrs. Browne-Melendez, I think it’s time to go and grab our cab.”

“Yeah, I think it’s time.”

They walked through the empty apartment one last time. They took some pictures of the place. Claire took a selfie of them. One last memory there. And they got out of the apartment. As he locked the door, Neil felt a pang of emotions surrounded him. End of an era. End of a whole chapter in his life. He turned to see Claire rummaging in her hand bag. And all of the sudden, he knew everything was gonna be alright. He let out a laugh. 

“What?”

“Nothing, I was just thinking about you never finding something in your bag and it was funny.”

“Ah ah ah. You can’t understand, you’re not a woman.”

He let the key in the mail box. Alex will come and get it later to give it to the real estate agent. Claire was already helping the cab driver to put the suitcases in the trunk. A new chapter had started!


	52. Chapter 52 : New life

Chapter 52 : New life

They were in Raleigh for now a few days. It felt good to be here, to discover the city every time you go there to buy a gallon of milk or just to take a walk. Their apartment was really tiny, especially when you compared to the one they left in San José, and was overrun by the boxes. But whatever, it was great to start over their new life. First they had to focus on their new jobs and then, they will find the perfect place to live. In fact, living in such a mess remembered her the time she was living in her small flat when she was a resident. 

They had barely the time to take their marks and it was already their first day at Raleigh General Hospital. They came early to be sure to be on time. Despite everything they said, they were both stressed and they knew it. They got out of their apartment and reached the hospital in only 20-minute-walk. Hand in hand, enjoying the landscape. They remained silent. They just needed to focus on their main aim: going through their first day successfully. 

When they arrived, they were welcomed by Dr. Cameron who was already here, waiting for them in the lobby. When they saw her, Claire and Neil shared a concerned look. 

“Don’t worry, you’re not late. I’m just super early. My husband had a patient to see in the early morning because of the drugs he gave to him yesterday. So I came with him, I had papers to do and in the early morning, all is so calm around here.”  
She could see Neil and Claire’s faces relax. “If you wish, follow me and I bring you to the HR to fulfill the papers and then I could show your offices and start talking about your patients afterwards.”

They followed her through the hospital. For sure, the place was tinier than Bonaventure which gave it a welcoming side. The HR meeting was quick, just a few signatures and they were given their access pass to the hospital and parking. 

“Welcome to Raleigh Hospital! It’s always a pleasure to welcome new faces!”

They both smiled to Wendy. “And no need to call me Mrs. Potter, this is way too much. Wendy is perfect!”

They thanked her for what she did. All was less formal here. Claire gave Neil a faint smile. They were at the good place. They waved at Wendy before leaving the office and followed Dr. Cameron up to the 4th floor. 

“Welcome to the 4th floor. Here is the floor where all the offices are. Including yours. As you might have noticed, the 5th and last floor of the hospital is the administrative floor. This is where you will find the HR, the account service, the archives and so on. We will visit after the three first floors where you will spend a lot of time working. But first, let me show you your offices.”

She turned left on a long corridor where names were all over the doors. She finally stopped in front of a wooden door. “This is your, Dr. Melendez! The technical service has not put your name on the door yet but they must come today. After you, I let you open your new work place!”

Neil opened the door and discovered a large room with a desk in the middle. Large white-painted walls. A window giving over a park. He turned to Dr. Cameron with a smile. “This is perfect!”

“I know, it must be smaller than the one you got in San José…”

“Don’t worry, it’s perfect. And who needs a big office when he spends time with his patients! And I do love the view!”

They spent some more minutes in the office so Dr. Cameron could explain Neil all he needed to know about the place. Claire remained in a corner, enjoying the view over the park. Seeing all these trees endlessly was appeasing. 

“Dr. Browne? Dr. Browne?”

She jumped and came back to reality. “Ohhh sorry I was watching at this amazing view and got lost in my mind!”

“Don’t worry, it’s still happening to me and I’m here for a couple of years! I was asking you if you were ready to come and discover your office. Dr. Melendez, you’re coming with us?”

He nodded. “No way that I miss this!”

They walked through the corridor and Dr. Cameron stopped in front of another wooden door at the very end of the corridor. She handed a key to Claire. She took it and put it in the lock. As she opened the door, she could appreciate the brightness of the room. “That’s… huge!”

Neil whistled in admiration. “It’s gonna change you from the closet you had in Bonaventure!” 

Cameron let out a laugh. He lowered his head. “Sorry… I didn’t want to say this aloud.”

“You can, I won’t say a word. So I conclude you like your office?”

“It’s perfect! Thank you, Dr. Cameron.”

“I let you alone to get acquainted with your offices and meet me in one hour in front of my office, just right there.” She pointed a door at the opposite of where they were right now. “We’ll go and meet your patients. Oh and I was about to forget, you white coats are in each other’s office. See you!”

Cameron let them alone in the corridor. They separated to go in their own office. It felt good to be in a new environment, full of new challenges. Claire remained a moment in front of the window. Her office view was beautiful. She could see trees and lakes from here. It was such a peaceful place to work. She smiled and looked at the desk. 

A computer was put on it. A piece of paper was placed next to it. A new login. A new password. A new life. She sat in the armchair and watched the room. She already felt home. Here she didn’t feel the pressure and the judgement from other people. Sometimes people she barely knew or had never met. Here she was just Dr. Browne-Melendez, trauma and cardiothoracic surgeon, happily married to another doctor. And it was she ever wanted. 

In his office, Neil was resting in the sofa. Watching all over the room, thinking about where he could place his books, his frames, his degrees. He was scared to start over but he knew it was necessary. Bonaventure had brought him a lot but people were too judgmental there. It had become unbearable. He needed to cut the ties. He needed to go far away with Claire so they could live their lives and be happy once for all. 

“Ready to go and meet our new patients?”

He raised his head as he heard Claire’s voice. She was on the doorstep, grinning at him. ”More than ready!” He came closer to her and they walked until Dr. Cameron’s office wearing their new white coats. 

She took them at first floor to show them the ORs. And the ICU rooms. “Your new playground. We have 6 ORs and 20 ICU rooms. It is barely enough but we hope to add two more ORs in the next years and 10 ICU rooms. Just need to get the good sponsorship.”

“We can help on this… We built a clinic in San José 3 years ago. It is currently run by our two best friends who helped us with the project. If you need any tip…”

“Will be glad to hear about them! Anything is good to hear. Especially when it comes to money.”

She let out a laugh and led them to the second floor. She explained to them this floor and the third where the floor where the patients’ rooms were. She introduced them to the nurses at the station. “They are your most precious allies here” and she winked at them. It was nice to see that here, nurses were considered, Claire thought. 

“Nice to meet you, I’m Claire! Or Dr. Browne-Melendez, I don’t know how you used to call people here.”

“If you don’t mind, Claire will be perfect. Except in front of the patients of course.”

“Sounds nice!” 

“And I’m Neil! Or Dr. Melendez. But Neil is fine.”

“So you’re married?”

“Yes, for almost a year now. But it feels like forever. In a good way, of course.”

The nurses laughed at the joke, or the attempt of joke, Neil didn’t know how to analyze what he had just said. 

“That’s nice. I’m nurse Savis, by the way. But you can call me Lisa!”

“Nice to meet you Lisa! Nice to meet you all.”

Cameron let Neil ending the presentation to tell all of them about the patients Claire and Neil were about to take responsibility of. 

“On first days, I’ll be with you and then, they‘ll be all yours! If you want to follow me, I’m gonna introduce you to them. See you later, nurses squad!”

Claire waved at the nurses while following Cameron. Neil addressed them a large smile and walked behind Claire. Cameron entered a room on their left. 

“Good morning, Mr. Jane! How are you today?”

“Still hurts but the drugs you had given to me helped a lot, thanks.’

“You won’t be in pain for a long time, here he’s your new doctor, Dr. Melendez.” Neil waved at him, giving a faint smile. “He’s gonna stay with you for a little to discuss about your case while I go with Dr. Melendez-Browne visiting Mrs. Simpsons.”

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Jane. How can I help you? I read on your file that you were diagnosed three months ago with a very bad ulcer in your stomach.”

“Yes and it hurts like hell… Result of years of bad habits and personal drama… Could you do something to remove the pain?”

Neil explained to him the procedure he wanted to use to remove the ulcer. This surgery was very uncommon but was used for the patients who were in too much pain. He was reassured to see a light at the end of this tunnel that deprived him from his family.

“The other doctor, she was your wife, right?”

“Yes.” He blushed, a little embarrassed. 

“She’s beautiful. She reminds me of my Teresa who’s at home with the kids.”

“She must be a great woman too…”

“One of the best.”

They smiled at each other. Neil remained a little longer to answer all the questions about the surgery and left when Cameron came. “Ready to meet your next patient. If everything’s OK with Mr. Jane?”

“Ready! See you tomorrow in the OR, Mr. Jane. In a few days, we’ll see your wife and kids and all this will only be a bad dream.”

He met his second patient, Mr. Kang while Claire was finishing her consult with Mr. Brett. At the end of the day, their schedule for the next few days were booked. Their first day was over. The others came and went and soon it was already a month they had been working here. Time flied when you felt fine at work, at home, with the person you loved. And right now this person was fighting with the blender which refused to mix her apples and bananas correctly. A large grin drew on Neil’s face. 

“I was thinking … Maybe we could look for a house from next weekend… I don’t know about you but I’m feeling a little hemmed in in this apartment…”

“A house?”

“Or an apartment if you prefer. I was talking about a house because it seems obvious… That you know… Ummm. … We’re gonna need more place at one moment… I mean … If you still agree to…”

“I was teasing you, Neil. Of course, a house will be perfect! Better than this too small apartment anyway. And yes, I do want to have babies with you, Neil. What I’ve said the other night was true… I will not play with you about this subject. I know how sensitive it is for you… Still remembered the first time you opened about it to me when I was just a first-year resident…”

He blushed and lowered his head. A little ashamed of this moment when he put her in a special position when he knew her for only a couple of months. But it had always been easy to talk, to open up to her. 

“We will, Neil. Let just find the perfect place now. And we’ll see what the future is holding for us. What I’m sure of is that everything will be alright… If you excuse me now, I’ve a blender to kill.”

She disappeared in the kitchen. She was in there more and more often. “It calms me down” As she used to say. And when she needed advice, she called Greta and spent hours to the phone with her. 

“Claire?” She turned to him, her apron soiled by the fruits she had just sliced. “You will never become the next greatest surgeon and I’m sorry if I prevent you from rising… From becoming the next big star of surgery...”

She came closer to him, she enrolled her arms around his waist and put her chin on his chest. Looking at him in the eyes. 

“Neil, if I‘d have become the next biggest star of surgery, I’ll never have agreed to follow you in all these big adventures… In Thailand… Here in Raleigh… I just want to be a doctor, to save lives, to allow people to feel better, to help them when they need to, to assist them when there’s nothing to do anymore, to ease their pains and suffering…. I don’t need to be a rising star, I just want to do my job, which is helping people.” 

He stroked her long curly hair. Still smiling idiotically. “This is what I love about you… You could have everything. You’re so smart, so creative, so clever… You could win all the awards… And still the only thing you wish is to help people. Please, never change Claire, you’re too good for this world, too good for me.” 

She put on her tiptoes, nested her head in his neck and put her arm on his chest. “I am who I am today thanks to you. When I arrived in Bonaventure, I was broken, lost. Studying medicine, becoming a doctor had given me a purpose to escape my crappy childhood, my sad life until then. And I met you and you learned me so many things… Not only about medicine. About life. About myself… You’ve changed me. You’re a part of my life and I don’t want to go anywhere where you’re not.”

He put his arms around her and pressed her stronger against his chest. “I don’t want to go anywhere where you’re not either.”

She let out a sigh. A sigh of happiness. Just this little idiotic happiness they had been looking for, for so many years before they finally accepted to confront their feelings for each other. The best decision of their life.


	53. Chapter 53: Adapting

Chapter 53 : Adapting

Days passed faster than they thought. Spring was already here and they had not found their dream house yet. But to be honest, they preferred to take their time than to rush and be disappointed after all. The more important was that they loved working here. They could spend more time with their patients. And still they didn’t come home late. They didn’t have found a house yet because they lacked time, it was just because they enjoyed doing nothing when they came home early. 

They spent their evenings cooking, video chatting with their friends, making love in the softest way. Or arguing over small things like Claire’s over love for perfumed candles or Neil’s need to buy so much food, as if the end of the world was planned for tomorrow. Real couple life. Ordinariness. Routine. But their own routine and they liked it. Even if it meant being in a huff with other and sulking a little bit. The reconciliations were even better. 

Life at the hospital was full of surprises. New patients arrived each week. On the other side, Neil was still figuring out how Dr. House proceeded. He was a mystery to him. This guy was a genius and he was so irritating. “Like you before I arrived.” Claire kept repeating him. But this man was at another level. He didn’t manage to get him. It was disturbing. 

“You’re still thinking about House again.”

“How do you know that?”

“You’re pouting so your nose is wrinkling. Typical of you where you’re overthinking. And it’s your turn to play. These cards won’t place on the table on their own.”

She was so directive, he liked this. He needed to let go of House. He will finally figure him out one day. And for the moment, he was losing at poker and he didn’t like this. Claire was still wearing all of her clothes when he was almost naked. He had to shift focus. Night was just starting and he wanted to see his wife’s body without all these pieces of fabric…

Morning came too fast to his taste. The alarm clock was already ringing, telling them to get up and prepare for a new day of work. Not that he didn’t like his job, but rain was falling hard outside and he had no wish to get out of the blanket. Claire was still sleeping. She didn’t hear the alarm clock. He gently shook her. “Time to wake up.”

She moaned and put the pillow over her head. “Just five more minutes.”

She was not a morning person. Unlike him. Neil got out of bed, went to the kitchen and prepared some coffee. He grabbed his clothes on the coach and went to the bathroom. When he got out all dressed, Claire was drinking her coffee, still wearing his large Stanford tee-shirt she stole from him in the first days they were dating. He would have never thought such a tee-shirt could have been so sexy one day. He came closer and dropped a kiss in her warm neck. She shivered, put her cup on the table and turned to hug him. He loved when she placed her head over his chest. 

Almost 7:30AM. They hurried to prepare and took their car. The weather was too awful to go by foot. The leftovers of a tropic storm, Cameron explained to them. It was common in the area. It only lasted some days and then, it was ok. Rain was the only inconvenient. 

Claire and Neil went to their offices. A lot of work were waiting for them today. And there was this meeting at 11 AM which made Neil so nervous. “See you later.” He smiled at her before running in his office. His mind was already elsewhere. He spent hours to prepare his next surgeries, documenting over some heart pathologies.  
He arrived just in time for the meeting. Claire, Cameron and two residents were there. He sat and House arrived just after him. 

“Still here, Thin and Gummy?”

“They are with you for the whole week, Greg and you know it. Don’t be an idiot. I know you know.”

He rolled his eyes before smiling to her discreetly. “And they have names, you know. Toni, Danny, don’t let him traumatize you. He needs to be put in his place sometimes.”

She grinned at Claire who let out a laugh. 

“New girl is a funny one.”

“I can but I prefer Claire or Dr. Browne-Melendez. As you wish.”

House turned and took the patient’s file. “What about her? “

“Fatima Nazir. 36. She came here with violent pains in the chest. I diagnosed a failure of her aortic valve. I changed it two months ago. But she came back three weeks later with terrible headaches.”

“And you are?”

“Dr. Melendez. I’m Mrs. Nazir’s doctor.”

“Melendez? Like the other? So you’re related?”

“She’s my wife. And it has nothing to do here. She was one of the doctor who took Fatima in charge in the ER when she came back with pains in her back two weeks ago.”

“I sent her do an echo and noticed a dark stain on her left kidney. I asked for a biopsy but it was not cancerous. And it’s not a kidney failure either. But it hurts as hell and there’s nothing we can do.”

“Heart attack, kidney stain and headache…” House was already overthinking about the case. A new puzzle to solve. “Thin and Gummy… “ 

Cameron gave him dark eyes. He sighed. “Well, Toni and Danny, go to the lab and ask for a new blood analysis. And also an urine one. Just in case to see things larger. We need all the possible parameters. And bring me a turkey sandwich… And a Coca.” Cameron gave him big eyes again and a small smile. “What? I’m hungry… Do you want one too? Bring one for my wife too!”

She let out a laugh. He was impossible. And that was why she loved him even if sometimes he was hard to live with. “What about a genetic disease that targets only the organs?”

“Not bad... You learn fast.“

“And I’m a good doctor. It helps! I have to let you, duty calls. I’ve a meeting with the hospital board at 1PM. And don’t eat my sandwich!”

Cameron vanished in the corridor. Claire and Neil remained alone with House in the office. He was writing frenetically on his board. They were reading again and again the file, searching for the little information they missed the other times. Hours passed. Cameron came back to help them after her meeting. Toni and Danny were running in the whole hospital to run the tests House ordered and brought them the results. As they studied, the case was more and complicated. Fatima won’t have any answer tonight as Claire was hoping. 

The days passed and they spent more time together. Claire was trying to get over House’s way of talking to patients. But it was eating up from inside. Cameron recognized he was particularly unpleasant because of his leg pain. “But it doesn’t excuse everything. And if you need to tell him things, you don’t hesitate. I’m sure he likes this anyway… You should have seen how many times we argued over a case when I was just an intern!” 

House couldn’t stop referring to Fatima as nothing but a person and Claire was boiling inside. Neil tried to calm her down but he knew it was too late. She was gonna get things straight with House. He was more of a philosopher and enjoyed the genius of the man. He was the Hyde of his Jekyll. He will talk to patients while he will search for clues and solutions in his office. And he kind of loved this dynamics. Claire was more natural. And she was about to burst. 

“I don’t allow you to speak about my patient like this. She’s a person, a woman who has a life and a family and you just treat her like an object. Do it when you’re alone if you want, but don’t do it in front of me. Thank you.”

House was surprised by Claire’s sudden outburst. “Oh, this tiny person has an answer for everything.” 

“Greg…” Cameron tried to temper her husband as she had done so many time. 

“Being small doesn’t involve I’m not smart and I don’t have an opinion.” 

House gave a quick faint smile to Cameron who was watching the scene with great interest. “You remind me of someone I used to argue with years ago.”

“I hope she told you that you can be a jackass when you tell things like this.”

“Actually… She did a lot. She still does to be exact. And she accepted to marry me…”

Claire gave a puzzled look to Cameron. Neil lowered his head so they couldn’t see him laughing. 

“Plead guilty. He was an ass when I was his resident and I had told him about it so many times I lost count of it. Still do.”

“Good luck with him.” She stole the file from House’s hands. “Now if you excuse me, it’s time to go home for me. Neil, you come?”

“On my way.”

He made a face to Cameron and House before leaving the office. 

[…]  
Neil woke up very early this morning. Even if he didn’t work. Even if he could have stayed longer under the blanket, lying next to Claire. He looked at her. She was sleeping so deeply. Her chest lifted up and down at each of her breath. She was so peaceful, so relaxed. He smiled. They did it. Despite all the difficulties, the obstacles and anything or anyone raising against them, they found the way to reach their own happiness. 

At this moment, he knew it was the right time to tell her what he was hiding from her for weeks now. Because he was afraid she could be disappointed in case it didn’t work. He bent to her and nestled his face in her neck. He said her name softly until she moved and opened one of her eyes. 

“Are we late? Thought we didn’t work today…”

He looked lost. But he couldn’t say the truth right now, not so close to his goal. 

“Just follow me.”

Claire looked puzzled. Where did Neil want to take her at this hour, especially during their day off. She didn’t plan to get up so early this day. But Neil came and woke her up kissing her in the neck and stroking her hair. How could she say no to this man she loved so much? She woke up and got dressed, combed her hair as she could and joined him in the car. 

“Where are we going? You seem so mysterious… Hope it doesn’t imply other people because I’m frightening as hell to see anyone with my undone hair and this headband!”

He let out of laugh. He wanted to say her she was beautiful whatever she wore, whatever her hair style, whatever she was made up or not. But she will contradict him telling he was just nice to her. So he just smiled at her. And she did the same. Sometimes, words were overrated. 

He drove for thirty minutes and stopped the car at the beginning of a large path. “This is where we stop.” Neil got off out of the car. Claire unattached her seatbelt and did the same. They were at the top of a hill. She could see the whole city from here. And the sunrise which was so beautiful this morning. She turned to Neil. 

“What are we doing here?” 

“As I’ve already said, just follow me.” She grabbed his hand and grinned at him. They walked for something like 5 minutes before arriving in a large clearing. And she saw it, right in the middle. The little house in the middle of nowhere. The one she talked about when they were running at night, after work. The one she said she would go if she had only six months to live. He remembered. 

“Meet our new house… I put an offer on it a week ago and it was accepted yesterday. I know we told we were going to visit houses together. But I saw pics in the real estate agency while coming back from work and I felt in love with the place. I entered and they offered me to visit. And in less than 30 minutes I was there and in love with the place, with all the stories, the memories we were gonna build in here together… With our kids…”

He looked at her. She was quiet. But he could say, by the sparkles in her eyes, he had been right. 

“Neil, this is… I mean… It is…”

She didn’t finish her sentence. She was too surprised. Too astonished. He looked at her with his puppy eyes. The ones she couldn’t resist. “This …Perfect…”

“Really.” She nodded yes with her head, speechless. It was the house she had dreamt since she was a kid, when she dreamt of escaping from her apartment for some moments because her mom was drunk or sometimes worse. 

“And the good thing is that you don’t have six months to live… You can enjoy this place as long as you like.” 

He winked at her. He really remembered all she said this day while stretching on a bench. “Thank you for being you.”

She came closer and kissed him. She didn’t know what to do. She was the luckiest woman in the world. She was in love, she was a doctor and she now had the house of her dream. She put her forehead on his as he bent to kiss her again. She giggled. Neil gave her the keys. 

“Ready to open our new house?”

They went to the house, climbed the 4 steps leading to the terrace and opened the door. The space was big. Bigger than any place she ever lived. They explored the house for the next two hours, decided where their bedroom would be, where the bedrooms of their children would set, where they would put their Christmas tree. A whole life to build, a new chapter to write and they couldn’t wait to start it.


End file.
